Opinion & Analysis
You know you’re a golfer when…
You know you’re a golfer when…
- You tell the restaurant hostess that you’ll be a foursome for dinner.
- You think something “sub-par” must be really, really good.
- You wonder what a billiard table stimps.
- You call dimes ball markers.
- You think the Dutch Masters must be a golf tournament.
- You wear your golf shoes when you go for a walk.
- You believe you could hit it over the centerfield scoreboard with an 8-iron.
- You argue the family should vacation in Myrtle Beach.
- You see a gopher hole in your backyard and immediately think of dynamite.
- You mow your lawn to fairway height.
- You’re distracted at a funeral, thinking what a nice golf course the cemetery would have made.
- You understand why Michael Jackson only wore one glove.
- You’re proud that the president plays golf.
- You respect karma so much that you’d never order a fried egg for breakfast.
- You think having a handicap is a good thing.
- Your co-workers know you’re a single digit. Your boss thinks you’re a 20, but could be a 15 if you just had more time to practice.
- Your favorite numbers are 2, 3, 4, 18 and 72.
- You celebrate special occasions by playing 36 holes.
- You believe that trees really are 90 percent air.
- You know what the “leaf rule” is.
- The dry cleaner returns two golf tees and a divot repair tool with your dress pants.
- You won’t buy a Smart Car because there’s no room for your clubs.
- You know that a “kick point” has nothing to do with UFC.
- You can feel the difference between a two-club and a three-club wind.
- You’re not embarrassed to discuss how your shaft feels.
- You fall asleep counting strokes, not sheep.
- Your wife doesn’t mind if you’re in a threesome.
- You own more than five putters.
- You can coordinate your golf shoes with your shirt color.
- You sometimes walk around the house with your hands in an interlocking grip.
- You spend your lunch hour on the practice green.
- You know what a Cadet Medium-Large is.
- You have both a golf course calendar and a golf course screen-saver.
- You think Kelly Tilghman is hot.
- You believe twilight starts at 2 p.m.
- Your favorite websites are PGATOUR.com, GolfChannel.com and GolfWRX.com.
- You know the Goose, the Hawk, the Bulldog, the Walrus, the Golden Bear, the Shark and Tiger have nothing to do with the animal kingdom.
- Your favorite color is Masters green.
- You know that standing on a 7 rather than hitting a soft 6 has as much to do with golf as blackjack.
- You get up earlier on Saturday and Sunday than you do on weekdays.
- You don’t think of having a caddie as owning a nice car.
- The TV celebrity you’d most like to have lunch with is Michael Breed.
- No matter what nationality you are, you have a soft spot in your heart for Scotland.
- You start checking the weekend forecast on Tuesday.
- Your left hand isn’t as tanned as your right and your feet look white compared to your legs.
- You have a desk-job, but still have calluses on your hands.
- You read a slight left-to-right break on the carpet as you walk down a long hotel corridor.
- When someone mentions getting a new Toyota hybrid, you’re surprised because you didn’t even know Toyota made golf clubs.
- You’re not upset about getting older because it means you’re closer to shooting your age.
- At a cocktail party where you don’t know anyone, you gravitate to the guy whose face is most sunburned.
- You can spell Srixon.
- As you reach middle age, you say you’re starting the back nine.
- You’re just superstitious enough to choose golf cart number 70 over number 85.
- You schedule your elective surgery for December.
- It doesn’t seem odd to drink your second beer at 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday.
- You can’t believe you missed from 10 feet, and say “about time” when you make a 20-footer.
- You tell your wife you really don’t mind too much if she wants to spend Saturday with her sister.
- The only time you’re ever nervous is right before the opening tee shot.
- You tend to think of tall grass as U.S. Open-style rough.
- You believe you could cut your handicap in half if you just had more free time.
- The only time you ever wear shorts in public is at a golf course.
- Your bucket list includes trips to Fife, Bandon, Monterrey, Sheboygan and Farmingdale.
- You remember every shot from your best round and none from your worst.
- You know your career round is still in the future.
Editor’s Note: Check out the funny, inspirational story of one golfer trying to shoot the round of his life at 7-ironpress.com. Tom Hill’s book is called A Perfect Lie – The Hole Truth: 18 Holes of Golf in Pursuit of the Round of a Lifetime. Get free shipping on the paperback with the code GOLFWRX, or $4 off the e-book when you enter the code GOLFWRX1 at check-out. Pre-Father’s Day delivery in the US if ordered by June 17.
A special thanks to Alec, Garett and Bob Hill for edits and suggestions on “You know you’re a golfer when…”
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19th Hole
Vincenzi’s LIV Golf Singapore betting preview: Course specialist ready to thrive once again
After another strong showing in Australia, LIV Golf will head to Sentosa Golf Club in Singapore looking to build off of what was undoubtedly their best event to date.
Sentosa Golf Club sits on the southern tip of Singapore and is one of the most beautiful courses in the world. The course is more than just incredible scenically; it was also rated 55th in Golf Digest’s top-100 courses in 2022-2023 and has been consistently regarded as one of the best courses in Asia. Prior to being part of the LIV rotation, the course hosted the Singapore Open every year since 2005.
Sentosa Golf Club is a par 71 measuring 7,406 yards. The course will require precise ball striking and some length off the tee. It’s possible to go low due to the pristine conditions, but there are also plenty of hazards and difficult spots on the course that can bring double bogey into play in a hurry. The Bermudagrass greens are perfectly manicured, and the course has spent millions on the sub-air system to keep the greens rolling fast. I spoke to Asian Tour player, Travis Smyth, who described the greens as “the best [he’s] ever played.”
Davis Love III, who competed in a Singapore Open in 2019, also gushed over the condition of the golf course.
“I love the greens. They are fabulous,” the 21-time PGA Tour winner said.
Love III also spoke about other aspects of the golf course.
“The greens are great; the fairways are perfect. It is a wonderful course, and it’s tricky off the tee.”
“It’s a long golf course, and you get some long iron shots. It takes somebody hitting it great to hit every green even though they are big.”
As Love III said, the course can be difficult off the tee due to the length of the course and the trouble looming around every corner. It will take a terrific ball striking week to win at Sentosa Golf Club.
In his pre-tournament press conference last season, Phil Mickelson echoed many of the same sentiments.
“To play Sentosa effectively, you’re going to have a lot of shots from 160 to 210, a lot of full 6-, 7-, 8-iron shots, and you need to hit those really well and you need to drive the ball well.”
Golfers who excel from tee to green and can dial in their longer irons will have a massive advantage this week.
Stat Leaders at LIV Golf Adelaide:
Fairways Hit
1.) Louis Oosthuizen
2.) Anirban Lahiri
3.) Jon Rahm
4.) Brendan Steele
5.) Cameron Tringale
Greens in Regulation
1.) Brooks Koepka
2.) Brendan Steele
3.) Dean Burmester
4.) Cameron Tringale
5.) Anirban Lahiri
Birdies Made
1.) Brendan Steele
2.) Dean Burmester
3.) Thomas Pieters
4.) Patrick Reed
5.) Carlos Ortiz
LIV Golf Individual Standings:
1.) Joaquin Niemann
2.) Jon Rahm
3.) Dean Burmester
4.) Louis Oosthuizen
5.) Abraham Ancer
LIV Golf Team Standings:
1.) Crushers
2.) Legion XIII
3.) Torque
4.) Stinger GC
5.) Ripper GC
LIV Golf Singapore Picks
Sergio Garcia +3000 (DraftKings)
Sergio Garcia is no stranger to Sentosa Golf Club. The Spaniard won the Singapore Open in 2018 by five strokes and lost in a playoff at LIV Singapore last year to scorching hot Talor Gooch. Looking at the course setup, it’s no surprise that a player like Sergio has played incredible golf here. He’s long off the tee and is one of the better long iron players in the world when he’s in form. Garcia is also statistically a much better putter on Bermudagrass than he is on other putting surfaces. He’s putt extremely well on Sentosa’s incredibly pure green complexes.
This season, Garcia has two runner-up finishes, both of them being playoff losses. Both El Camaleon and Doral are courses he’s had success at in his career. The Spaniard is a player who plays well at his tracks, and Sentosa is one of them. I believe Sergio will get himself in the mix this week. Hopefully the third time is a charm in Singapore.
Paul Casey +3300 (FanDuel)
Paul Casey is in the midst of one of his best seasons in the five years or so. The results recently have been up and down, but he’s shown that when he’s on a golf course that suits his game, he’s amongst the contenders.
This season, Casey has finishes of T5 (LIV Las Vegas), T2 (LIV Hong Kong), and a 6th at the Singapore Classic on the DP World Tour. At his best, the Englishman is one of the best long iron players in the world, which makes him a strong fit for Sentosa. Despite being in poor form last season, he was able to fire a Sunday 63, which shows he can low here at the course.
It’s been three years since Casey has won a tournament (Omega Dubai Desert Classic in 2021), but he’s been one of the top players on LIV this season and I think he can get it done at some point this season.
Mito Pereira +5000 (Bet365)
Since Mito Pereira’s unfortunate demise at the 2022 PGA Championship, he’s been extremely inconsistent. However, over the past few months, the Chilean has played well on the International Series as well as his most recent LIV start. Mito finished 8th at LIV Adelaide, which was his best LIV finish this season.
Last year, Pereira finished 5th at LIV Singapore, shooting fantastic rounds of 67-66-66. It makes sense why Mito would like Sentosa, as preeminent ball strikers tend to rise to the challenge of the golf course. He’s a great long iron player who is long and straight off the tee.
Mito has some experience playing in Asia and is one of the most talented players on LIV who’s yet to get in the winner’s circle. I have questions about whether or not he can come through once in contention, but if he gets there, I’m happy to roll the dice.
Andy Ogletree +15000 (DraftKings)
Andy Ogletree is a player I expected to have a strong 2024 but struggled early in his first full season on LIV. After failing to crack the top-25 in any LIV event this year, the former U.S. Amateur champion finally figured things out, finished in a tie for 3rd at LIV Adelaide.
Ogletree should be incredible comfortable playing in Singapore. He won the International Series Qatar last year and finished T3 at the International Series Singapore. The 26-year-old was arguably the best player on the Asian Tour in 2023 and has been fantastic in the continent over the past 18 months.
If Ogletree has indeed found form, he looks to be an amazing value at triple-digit odds.
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Opinion & Analysis
Ryan: Lessons from the worst golf instructor in America
In Tampa, there is a golf course that boasts carts that do not work, a water range, and a group of players none of which have any chance to break 80. The course is overseen by a staff of crusty men who have succeeded at nothing in life but ending up at the worst-run course in America. However, this place is no failure. With several other local courses going out of business — and boasting outstanding greens — the place is booked full.
While I came for the great greens, I stayed to watch our resident instructor; a poor-tempered, method teacher who caters to the hopeless. At first, it was simply hilarious. However, after months of listening and watching, something clicked. I realized I had a front-row seat to the worst golf instructor in America.
Here are some of my key takeaways.
Method Teacher
It is widely accepted that there are three types of golf instructors: system teachers, non-system teachers, and method teachers. Method teachers prescribe the same antidote for each student based on a preamble which teachers can learn in a couple day certification.
Method teaching allows anyone to be certified. This process caters to the lowest caliber instructor, creating the illusion of competency. This empowers these underqualified instructors with the moniker of “certified” to prey on the innocent and uninformed.
The Cult of Stack and Jilt
The Stack and Tilt website proudly boasts, “A golfer swings his hands inward in the backswing as opposed to straight back to 1) create power, similar to a field goal kicker moving his leg in an arc and 2) to promote a swing that is in-to-out, which produces a draw (and eliminates a slice).”
Now, let me tell you something, there is this law of the universe which says “energy can either be created or destroyed,” so either these guys are defying physics or they have no idea what they are taking about. Further, the idea that the first move of the backswing determines impact is conjecture with a splash of utter fantasy.
These are the pontifications of a method — a set of prescriptions applied to everyone with the hope of some success through the placebo effect. It is one thing for a naive student to believe, for a golf instructor to drink and then dispel this Kool-Aid is malpractice.
Fooled by Randomness
In flipping a coin, or even a March Madness bet, there is a 50-50 chance of success. In golf, especially for new players, results are asymmetric. Simply put: Anything can happen. The problem is that when bad instructors work with high handicappers, each and every shot gets its own diagnosis and prescription. Soon the student is overwhelmed.
Now here’s the sinister thing: The overwhelming information is by design. In this case, the coach is not trying to make you better, they are trying to make you reliant on them for information. A quasi Stockholm syndrome of codependency.
Practice
One of the most important scientists of the 20th century was Ivan Pavlov. As you might recall, he found that animals, including humans, could be conditioned into biological responses. In golf, the idea of practice has made millions of hackers salivate that they are one lesson or practice session from “the secret.”
Sunk Cost
The idea for the worst golf instructor is to create control and dependency so that clients ignore the sunk cost of not getting better. Instead, they are held hostage by the idea that they are one lesson or tip away from unlocking their potential.
Cliches
Cliches have the effect of terminating thoughts. However, they are the weapon of choice for this instructor. Add some hyperbole and students actually get no information. As a result, these players couldn’t play golf. When they did, they had no real scheme. With no idea what they are doing, they would descend into a spiral of no idea what to do, bad results, lower confidence, and running back to the lesson tee from more cliches.
The fact is that poor instruction is about conditioning players to become reliant members of your cult. To take away autonomy. To use practice as a form of control. To sell more golf lessons not by making people better but through the guise that without the teacher, the student can never reach their full potential. All under the umbrella of being “certified” (in a 2-day course!) and a melee of cliches.
This of course is not just happening at my muni but is a systemic problem around the country and around the world, the consequences of which are giving people a great reason to stop playing golf. But hey, at least it’s selling a lot of golf balls…
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19th Hole
Vincenzi’s 2024 Zurich Classic of New Orleans betting preview
The PGA TOUR heads to New Orleans to play the 2023 Zurich Classic of New Orleans. In a welcome change from the usual stroke play, the Zurich Classic is a team event. On Thursday and Saturday, the teams play best ball, and on Friday and Sunday the teams play alternate shot.
TPC Louisiana is a par 72 that measures 7,425 yards. The course features some short par 4s and plenty of water and bunkers, which makes for a lot of exciting risk/reward scenarios for competitors. Pete Dye designed the course in 2004 specifically for the Zurich Classic, although the event didn’t make its debut until 2007 because of Hurricane Katrina.
Coming off of the Masters and a signature event in consecutive weeks, the field this week is a step down, and understandably so. Many of the world’s top players will be using this time to rest after a busy stretch.
However, there are some interesting teams this season with some stars making surprise appearances in the team event. Some notable teams include Patrick Cantlay and Xander Schauffele, Rory McIlroy and Shane Lowry, Collin Morikawa and Kurt Kitayama, Will Zalatoris and Sahith Theegala as well as a few Canadian teams, Nick Taylor and Adam Hadwin and Taylor Pendrith and Corey Conners.
Past Winners at TPC Louisiana
- 2023: Riley/Hardy (-30)
- 2022: Cantlay/Schauffele (-29)
- 2021: Leishman/Smith (-20)
- 2019: Palmer/Rahm (-26)
- 2018: Horschel/Piercy (-22)
- 2017: Blixt/Smith (-27)
2024 Zurich Classic of New Orleans Picks
Tom Hoge/Maverick McNealy +2500 (DraftKings)
Tom Hoge is coming off of a solid T18 finish at the RBC Heritage and finished T13 at last year’s Zurich Classic alongside Harris English.
This season, Hoge is having one of his best years on Tour in terms of Strokes Gained: Approach. In his last 24 rounds, the only player to top him on the category is Scottie Scheffler. Hoge has been solid on Pete Dye designs, ranking 28th in the field over his past 36 rounds.
McNealy is also having a solid season. He’s finished T6 at the Waste Management Phoenix Open and T9 at the PLAYERS Championship. He recently started working with world renowned swing coach, Butch Harmon, and its seemingly paid dividends in 2024.
Keith Mitchell/Joel Dahmen +4000 (DraftKings)
Keith Mitchell is having a fantastic season, finishing in the top-20 of five of his past seven starts on Tour. Most recently, Mitchell finished T14 at the Valero Texas Open and gained a whopping 6.0 strokes off the tee. He finished 6th at last year’s Zurich Classic.
Joel Dahmen is having a resurgent year and has been dialed in with his irons. He also has a T11 finish at the PLAYERS Championship at TPC Sawgrass which is another Pete Dye track. With Mitchell’s length and Dahmen’s ability to put it close with his short irons, the Mitchell/Dahmen combination will be dangerous this week.
Taylor Moore/Matt NeSmith +6500 (DraftKings)
Taylor Moore has quickly developed into one of the more consistent players on Tour. He’s finished in the top-20 in three of his past four starts, including a very impressive showing at The Masters, finishing T20. He’s also finished T4 at this event in consecutive seasons alongside Matt NeSmith.
NeSmith isn’t having a great 2024, but has seemed to elevate his game in this format. He finished T26 at Pete Dye’s TPC Sawgrass, which gives the 30-year-old something to build off of. NeSmith is also a great putter on Bermudagrass, which could help elevate Moore’s ball striking prowess.
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Bigger Bite
Aug 27, 2015 at 12:38 am
Funny post, two thumbs up. As for the haters, seriously think you all missed the point of the article. It is not an Obama conference for votes…………
BOB
Jun 22, 2015 at 9:47 pm
You know that a “kick point” has nothing to do with UFC.
wut
janicewright
Jun 22, 2015 at 10:22 am
Even Michael Jordan said he would never play with the community organizer because his games stinks. Obama’s favorite 4 some, himself, Rev Wright, Bill Ayers and Al Sharpton. The company Barry keeps tells you everything you need to know about him. However, bringing in more and more illegals solves that problem. Just give them countless taxpayer benefits……..in exchange for their votes.
birdeez
Jun 24, 2015 at 12:40 pm
beheading…….obama beheading to the golf course. no time for real issues. then again, him hitting shanks all afternoon on the course is better than him trying to force liberal policy down our throats.
sheckygreen
Jun 22, 2015 at 9:58 am
Why put the community organizer’s picture on this article? The economy sucks, race relations are the worst of any modern presidency, our military has been feminized, illegal aliens have been bribed to come here with our taxpayer $ and vote for the communists\socialist\Islamic\democrat party. He is stealing the country from the white people that built it. And there stands Barry, thinking about his pathetic golf game. What an evil man!
devilsadvocate
Jun 20, 2015 at 10:01 pm
Some of you need to remove the stick from your shady area… Pretty amusing article… If u clicked shank then you are probably the guy nobody wants to play with… What did you expect from this article? Swing instruction? Equipment secrets? Inside information? C’mon the Damn title is a play on foxworthy… Glad my life brings me more pleasure than your miserable existence
promoteroftruth
Jun 21, 2015 at 11:35 am
What makes you think we should pay you any attention ‘know-it-all mommy’?
devilsadvocate
Jun 21, 2015 at 6:55 pm
Haha what a rebel
Mark in L'ville, KY
Jun 18, 2015 at 9:53 am
Tom, I thought these were all very funny. Although it may be because WAY too many of them hit a little too close to home with me. Good list right along with so many of the “definitions of golf terms” lists we all have seen at one time or another. Well done.
P.S. I’m a registered Republican & I could not care less that Obama was mentioned &/or pictured in the list. Save the crazy & venom for a year from this November people & then take it to another forum.
AllBOdoesisgolf
Jun 17, 2015 at 2:16 pm
The “funny” part is that WRX does not allow politics of any kind…. hypocrisy much?
Bobtrumpet
Jun 17, 2015 at 12:49 pm
“You know what a Cadet Medium-Large is.”
Yeah, it’s my glove size! 🙂
Jake Anderson
Jun 17, 2015 at 12:03 pm
do you know this because you are a communist yourself, mr. so-called joeamerican? i would not think so, but please be frank.
Drew R.
Jun 17, 2015 at 11:54 am
When driving on a curvy tree-line highway, sometimes I imagine what shot shape I would take. In the gym, I don’t check myself in the mirror. I check my feet, hip and shoulder alignment before taking an imaginary swing. When shopping with my fiancee, i used a hanger to drill my putter stroke. I once caught myself wondering what was the bounce angle of serving spoon.
stu
Jun 17, 2015 at 7:17 am
Kelly Tilghman hot? Get some glasses.
MartyMoose09
Jun 17, 2015 at 1:35 pm
If you like the weathered look.
Dirk
Jun 16, 2015 at 10:12 pm
Good lord! Just a picture of Obama brings the Foxnews lunatics out of the woodwork! Sweet baby Jane you guys need to take a deep breath and relax!
Tom Hill
Jun 17, 2015 at 12:12 am
Thanks Dirk – every US president since Jimmy Carter has played golf and that’s what I meant when I wrote “You know you’re a golfer when you’re proud that the President plays golf.” And in fact, that stanza actually somewhat implies that the golfer is not necessarily proud of the president (whoever is in office now), his actions, or even what he stands for, but we’re proud that the person holding the office of president (supposedly the most powerful person in the world) is a golfer, like we all are. I didn’t choose the image of President Obama that was put with the article, but don’t all of us recognize ourselves… killing time while lost in our shared passion… in what’s conveyed in that picture?
mike
Jun 16, 2015 at 3:42 pm
I don’t know why so many people are giving this a shank I think this article is freaking hysterical and most golfers know that at least half of these applied to them and its true and funny but I don’t understand why all the people are not hitting like vs shank
chris
Jun 16, 2015 at 3:52 pm
They probably hit “shank” because they don’t think it’s funny. At least that’s why I clicked it.
ron
Jun 17, 2015 at 10:34 am
For me- It’s not so much “not funny”, but not really good points. Could have been better. Pretty sure there a forum thread on here on this with some good stuff in there.
Scott
Jun 17, 2015 at 12:15 pm
yep, this is a shank
Mike
Jun 21, 2015 at 6:16 pm
Why shank. Golfers need to chill and check your ego at the door. What are the reasons f I r spanking this
ITstan
Jun 16, 2015 at 2:10 pm
The destruction artist in that image makes me want to puke!
MartyMoose09
Jun 16, 2015 at 1:55 pm
Barry has a very weak grip, no wonder he’s never gotten better at golf.