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Golf in the Cold
‘You can’t play’ says the wife from somewhere underneath the enormous duvet, ‘it’s far too cold’. ‘Nonsense women’ I reply as I throw back the curtains, ‘It’s blue skies and bright sunshine. What more could I want for a round of golf?’
These words haunt me as I step onto the first tee and a frozen blast of wind has my testicles soaring up into my body cavity like a couple of untethered weather balloons. The blue skies are still there and the course is kissed by bright sunshine, but it’s the sort of weak sunshine that only the northern hemisphere has during winter. Anywhere else in the world these sort of conditions would have people breaking out the shorts and T-shirts but here I am bent over, London’s very own hunchgroin, trying to swing a club while dressed in 14 layers of clothing.
There are a quite a few other people prepared to brave the weather – people who have been looking forward all week to a round of golf and who are damned if they are going to let some iffy weather get the better of them. Everyone is dressed like Scott of the Antarctic and many have some sort of handwarmers in an attempt to prevent freezing to death. One of old boys with handwarmers was once told as a joke by one of the club pro’s that handwarmers only work properly if you expose them to sunlight and now looks like he is either making an invisible pot of tea at head height or is waving his sweetheart goodbye in a 1940’s war film.
I join a couple of other lunatics at the tee box who just happen to be two of the club pros. They wouldn’t be out in this weather if it weren’t for the fact that they have money on this game and neither can back down. They both stripe one down the fairway and I somehow make it on to the short stuff too. An interesting side-effect of all the layers of clothes I’m wearing is that my back swing has been shortened considerably so while I’m hitting the ball a fair bit shorter, I’m also hitting it straighter. So far so good I think as I tighten my belt in an attempt to stop my balls from lurching into my gullet like a set of fleshy gobstoppers.
This short and straight hitting accounts for the fact that I’m on the green in regulation. Due to the sunshine, the fairway is in pretty good nick but unfortunately the green is still in the shade. Now if you haven’t had the pleasure, putting on frozen greens is an art form. You must be able to read not only the normal slopes and undulations but also be able to read whether the icy surface will speed up or slow the ball down. The smoother sections of the green are like… well ice really, while other parts are covered in dew that has frozen into tiny feathers of ice that can grab the ball and make it almost stop dead.
My first putt is straight through a treacherously slick part and a 10 yard putt rockets 20 foot past. ‘Not a problem’ I think and caress my next putt gently, expecting it to sidle nicely up to the hole. Of course it hits a rough patch, the ball leaps vertically off the putting surface like a salmon and screeches to a halt before it’s even moved 6 feet. Resisting the urge to smack the ball back down the fairway I take a moment, clean the ball and line it up for a 14 footer that looks slightly uphill and through a mix of smooth and grabby surface. A gentle tap has the ball rolling directly on line until it magically picks up speed, skids to the right, shoots past the hole and ends up 4 feet away. With a face burning bright red from the combination of anger, embarrassment and wind-burn I stalk to the ball and try to think of all the 4 footers I’ve made in the past. It’s dead straight and this part of the green looks almost normal. ‘I’m calm I’m calm I’m calm’ I tell myself as I try to put a nice stroke on the ball and send it home and end the misery. It all looks good until it picks up a little clump of ice on one side of the ball and turns in a neat little arc, spinning away from the hole like a urethane Wayne Gretzky.
Now at this point, I will admit to having said some nasty things about the ball, the golf course, my ability to putt, the weather and the otherwise fine products of Scotty Cameron. I also may have possibly called into question the parentage of my playing partners when they suggested that I should consider taking up a more appropriate sport like knitting after I finally hole out for a 5 putt.
After the jeers and derision that such a woeful passage of play deserved, I immediately get the chance to redeem myself at the next hole. The others both tug their tee shots into the left rough while I find myself sitting pretty in the middle of the fairway. From a perfect lie I somehow catch a 6 iron so sweetly it’s sickening and watch the ball crawl all over the flag to pitch dead in line and a couple of club lengths short of the hole. Normally this would stop pretty quickly and I would be left with a solid (if all too rare) birdie chance but the frozen green means that the ball bounces off the concrete-like surface and ends up off the back of the green.
This becomes the story of the first 9 holes. Balls fired at the pin ricochet off the green and low runners skitter off the glassy surface time and time again. The pros’ superb wedge game makes up and downs simple but one of them nearly breaks his wrists playing a slightly buried ball out of a frozen bunker while my short game resembles a man digging for gold and my score is astronomical.
At the halfway point my face is raw, my nose a fluorescent red and my voice a couple of octaves higher and I am thinking of jacking it in when I realise that I can feel my hands and feet again. The previously watery sun has suddenly strengthened and we are no longer apparently playing on the tundra but across beautiful green swards under a kind blue sky.
As the warmth creeps into the day and I can shrug off some of my layers, I find that that my shots are going longer but are still going straight. Magically I find that I have driven to the front of a short par 4. A simple chip and I have a tap in for the first birdie of the day and to repair a tiny part of the damage done earlier in the round. An educated power fade gives me another birdie chance which I fail to take and the game is fun again.
Having spent the early part of the morning approaching unforgiving greens, these ones seem to be the size of football pitches. The finesse and delicacy that I needed to get chips and pitches to within 10 feet of the holes at the start of the day now has me less than half that from the pin. Putting across the treacherous ice means that I’m now seeing the hole like the Grand Canyon and can’t seem to miss. It’s impossible to undo all the damage but my score is suddenly respectable rather than embarrassing.
Anybody can have fun golf when the weather is perfect but that enjoyment is a pale thing next to the fierce enjoyment of playing golf in less then perfect conditions. Taking on both the course and the weather and winning, or at least not losing too badly is something I’m sure that the sports Scottish originators would understand. The demands of the game are higher in bad conditions as you need to think far more about playing from less than perfect lies, the effect of the cold and the wind both on the ball and yourself, bad footing and the precision required to play a good shot in all of the above can only make you a better golfer.
‘How was it?’ asks the wife when I get back home, ‘Gosh it was cold out there. I bet you froze your tits off’.
‘Not quite’ I reply, being completely anatomically honest and check my trousers just to make sure.
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Scottie Scheffler arrested, charged, and released after traffic incident at Valhalla
As first reported by ESPN’s Jeff Darlington, Scottie Scheffler has been detained by police on the way to Valhalla Golf Club this morning due to a traffic misunderstanding.
“Breaking News: World No. 1 golfer Scottie Scheffler has been detained by police in handcuffs after a misunderstanding with traffic flow led to his attempt to drive past a police officer into Valhalla Golf Club. The police officer attempted to attach himself to Scheffler’s car, and Scheffler then stopped his vehicle at the entrance to Valhalla. The police officer then began to scream at Scheffler to get out of the car.
“When Scheffler exited the vehicle, the officer shoved Scheffler against the car and immediately placed him in handcuffs. He is now being detained in the back of a police car.”
Darlington also posted a video of the dramatic moment which you can view below:
Here is video that I took of Scheffler being arrested: https://t.co/8UPZKvPCCf pic.twitter.com/9Tbp2tyrJh
— Jeff Darlington (@JeffDarlington) May 17, 2024
There was an unrelated accident at around 5am, which is what may have caused some of the misunderstanding of which traffic was moving.
Speaking on ESPN, Darlington broke down exactly what he witnessed in full detail:
“Entering Valhalla Golf Club this morning, we witness a car pull around us that was Scottie Scheffler. Scottie Scheffler has been detained by police officers, placed in the back of a police vehicle in handcuffs after he tried to pull around what he believed to be security, ended up being police officers.
“They told him to stop, when he didn’t stop, the police officer attached himself to the vehicle, and Scheffler then travelled another 10 yards before stopping the car.”
“The police officer then grabbed at his arm, attempting to pull him out of the car, before Scheffler eventually opened the door, at which point the police officer pulled Scheffler out of the car, pushed him up against the car and immediately placed him in handcuffs. Scheffler was then walked over to the police car, placed in the back in handcuffs.
“Very stunned about what was happening, he looked towards me as he was in those handcuffs and said ‘please help me’. He very clearly didn’t know what was happening in the situation.”
“It moved very quickly, very rapidly, very aggressively. He was detained in that police vehicle for approximately 20 minutes. The police officers at that point did not understand that Scottie Scheffler was a golfer in the tournament, nor of course that he is the number one player in the world.”
Full details on Scottie Scheffler’s arrest, excellent reporting by @JeffDarlington.
— Kevin Negandhi (@KevinNegandhi) May 17, 2024
Due to the accident, play has been delayed this morning. Scheffler’s current tee time for the second round of the PGA Championship is 10:08 a.m.
Scheffler’s mugshot following the incident:
Scottie Scheffler’s mugshot from Louisville Metropolitan Department of Corrections. pic.twitter.com/bcJn54Nu5x
— Golf Digest (@GolfDigest) May 17, 2024
*Update*
Scheffler has been charged with 2nd Degree assault of a police officer, criminal mischief 3rd degree, reckless driving and disregarding signals from an officer directing traffic.
Scottie Scheffler charges
– 2nd Degree assault of Police officer
– Criminal Mischief 3rd degree
– Reckless driving
– Disregard signals from officer directing traffic pic.twitter.com/bX8mFF2Xay— sam stone (@sam_rock_stone) May 17, 2024
*Update*
According to ESPN+, Scottie Scheffler has been released and is now on his way to the golf course.
*Update*
Scottie Scheffler arrives at Valhalla ahead of his 10:08 a.m second round tee time.
After being detained by police earlier this morning, Scottie Scheffler was released and is back at Valhalla Golf Club for his second round of the PGA Championship. pic.twitter.com/KvS5Hwo6PS
— TSN (@TSN_Sports) May 17, 2024
*Update*
The PGA of America released this statement regarding the fatal accident, which diverted traffic at Valhalla this morning.
“This morning we were devastated to learn that a worker with one of our vendors was tragically struck and killed by a shuttle bus outside Valhalla Golf Club. This is heartbreaking to all of us involved with the PGA Championship. We extend our sincere condolences to their family and loved ones.”
Per the PGA Tour, Scheffler released the following statement.
Scottie Scheffler’s statement prior to Round 2 @PGAChampionship. pic.twitter.com/x26RFOqCIa
— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) May 17, 2024
We will update this developing story as more information on the situation is revealed.
More from the 19th Hole
- Phil Mickelson drops big retirement hint; Says LIV will grow the game “on a much more global basis”
- 2-time major champ announces shock retirement from the sport at age of 33
- Tiger explains why golf has “negative connotations” for daughter Sam
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Five Things We Learned: Thursday at the PGA Championship
It was a year ago that we the north, found ourselves with toes and fingers crossed. The Oak Hill PGA Championship of 2023 finished on schedule, despite the iffiness of weather in upstate New York. It’s 75 degrees today across the Niagara Frontier, which makes it two out of three (2022 was the same way) for sultry, unseasonal weather.
Louisville is, let’s be honest, a much better bet for a May PGA Championship, and Valhalla is an exciting venue for the year’s second major championship on the men’s circuit. Brooks Koepka came in as the defending champion, and Rory McIlroy arrived as the last golfer to win a major at the Nicklaus-designed course. That was a decade ago, and lord, have things changed in the world and golf.
Day one at Valhalla offered walk-in eagles, buckets of birdies, and potential for a record-low, winner’s score. We’ll get right to the meat of the matter, with five things that we learned. After all, if you can make par from the muck, anything’s possible in the land of the horses.
Cam Smith made par from here …#PGAChamp pic.twitter.com/BY5ZFCiH45
— PGA Championship (@PGAChampionship) May 16, 2024
1. X marks this spot
Xander Schauffele went head-to-head last Sunday with Rory McIlroy, at least on the practice green. By the end of the round, Rors had won for a fourth time at Charlotte, while the X Man sat scratching his head, wondering what went wrong. Fortunately for us, Xander didn’t sulk.
The San Diego State alumnus absolutely torched Jack’s track with 62. Four birdies on the front nine, were followed by five more on the inward side. Schauffele never looked as if bogey was a consideration, and he might have gone even lower. Despite winning the Covid-delayed Gold medal at the Japan Olympics (I consider it a major, btdubs) Schauffele continues to chase an initial men’s major, and the validation that it brings. If 62 doesn’t get you over the hump, who knows what will.
Cam Smith made par from here …#PGAChamp pic.twitter.com/BY5ZFCiH45
— PGA Championship (@PGAChampionship) May 16, 2024
2. Scottie starts strong? Aye.
Last month, Mr. Scheffler won a second green jacket at Augusta National. Last year in Rochester, Mr. Scheffler tied for second in this event. Mr. Scheffler began play today with a walk-in eagle, a one-hop affair that never looked as if it might go anywhere but to its home. Scheffler had a few rough holes, but that’s to be expected from a new dad. Each time he made bogey, he bounced back with birdie, so he has that short memory that winners crave. Surprisingly, Scheffler failed to manage one last birdie at the reachable 18th. Perhaps that miss will motivate him in round two.
Scottie’s shot was so nice we had to see it twice ?#PGAChamp pic.twitter.com/eR1UUsyi3a
— PGA Championship (@PGAChampionship) May 16, 2024
3. LIV Check-In
It’s good to check in on the departed from time to time, to ensure that the fellows formerly known as PGA Tour members are doing well. It’s safe to say that some of them can still play. Defending champion Brooks Koepka posted 67 on the day, He had an eagle and three birdies on the day, with only a stumble at the 17th. He’s tied for 7th. Bryson DeChambeau made an eagle of his own, but also had a bogey, at the 12th hole. He cohabits eleventh position with Cameron Smith, who ALSO had a bogey on his card. They are one shot behind Koepka, and a fistful more behind the leader.
ON THE MONEY ?
Bryson DeChambeau for eagle! #PGAChamp pic.twitter.com/Gz24VikAGQ
— PGA Championship (@PGAChampionship) May 16, 2024
4. Sahith and Tony at Schauffele’s heels
Both Finau and Theegala represent a special sort of athletic golfer. Their power and their charisma blend to draw golf fans to their groups. Let’s be honest, too, and say that they don’t look like the traditional professional golfer. As much as Tiger Woods did in the 1990s, they have the power to bring greater diversity to the sport.
In terms of their play today, well, only Xander was better. Finau had a clean card, with six birdies and twelve pars. Theegala had seven birdies, ten pars, and one bogey. Each combined power and finesse to insert themselves squarely in contention, ahead of round two. How will they, and Xander as well, manage the afternoon putting surface on Friday? That’s the great unknown!
SAHITH. THEEGALA. ?
This hole out puts him in a tie for the lead early at the #PGAChamp.
? @PGAChampionship pic.twitter.com/s3vLZNBQI7
— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) May 16, 2024
5. All those other guys are here!
Rory, Tom Kim, Collin, and Viktor are all at minus-three or lower. Valhalla may not be a traditional golf course, but it is the type of course that the world’s best play well. McIlroy currently sits at minus-five, tied with Robert MacIntyre, Kim, and three others in fourth position. Maverick McNealy finished fast to reach the same figure, as did Tom Hoge. Morikawa closed with birdie to join the sextet at five below. Both Scheffler and Morikawa finished their rounds late on Thursday, meaning they should see smoother greens on Friday morning. If someone is a betting soul, wiser wagers could not be placed on better names than those two, two-time, major champions. Rory will tee off in Friday’s afternoon wave but, hey, he’s Rory, and he won going away last week at Quail Hollow, a course not unlike Valhalla.
The 2020 PGA Champion is making moves.
A solid approach shot from Collin Morikawa ?#PGAChamp pic.twitter.com/DpD7QNfbSM
— PGA Championship (@PGAChampionship) May 16, 2024
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Morning 9: Tiger 2025 Ryder Cup talks continue | Rory: Tour in a worse place with Dunne’s resignation
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Bigsmoke
Feb 28, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Great read!