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Opinion & Analysis

The power of golf: Life after loss

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By Ed Muldoon

GolfWRX Contributor

“Tom, it’s your mom, I am calling to tell you that your Grandmother has passed, I’m sorry hon.”

It’s early February and the ringing of his cell phone had shaken Tom Haverton to a groggy state of consciousness.  Fumbling with the device his first thoughts were of work and what must be an inescapable reason of coming in on his day off.  In short, he was unhappy.  The sheets had tangled and the first peaking lights of dawn drifted through a gap in the drapes.

“What?”

“I’m sorry honey.  She died peacefully in her sleep.”

Tom slowly lowered the phone and turned to his wife letting the news rush out, like a punctured tire it left him deflated and cold.

Tom’s grandmother was a woman of substantial meaning in his life.  For long periods of time in his childhood she was a caregiver, with two working parents she had acted as a third.  She had opened her home to him and his brother completely and without reserve.  It was his home away from home, and the foundation of many of his favorite childhood memories.  The loss, for him, was considerable.

Tom considered what to do, the funeral preparations are still mostly in the air, and he had been assured that his immediate presence is not required.  After he kissed his wife off to work, Tom sat pensively in the house.

“I was literally at a loss as to what I could do,” recalled Tom. “The news wasn’t completely unexpected, she was sick and eighty-nine, but that does little to soften the blow so to speak.  So I did what I always do during times of stress, I went to the golf course.”

Tom was a lifelong golfer, at a young age his parents had bought him his first set of clubs and he’d been in love since.  Like many men and women passionate about the sport, Tom had spent the majority of his affair with golf on the losing side.  If golf was a fickle mistress, Tom had only seen her less forgiving side.  He chose to go to the golf course that day because it seemed like the right thing to do for him.

“I didn’t tell anyone, because I didn’t think anyone would understand.”

Tom was sure that his decision might seem callous to some, but to him the golf course was an old friend, someone he could lean on.  He could whisper his problems, and the course would understand.  It wouldn’t judge or probe, it wouldn’t console or sympathize, it would let Tom work it out.

“I’m not an overly religious person,” Tom said. “I grew up attending church, but as I got older and moved farther from my family I attended less and less, but if I could call any place somewhere I felt close to God, it would be at a golf course.”

Tom played golf three times that week: once after hearing about his Grandmother’s passing, once the day before her funeral, and once the day after.  Tom professed that golf helped to center him.

“The second time I played golf that week, I played the back nine alone,” he said. “I spent most of that time thinking of Grandma.  My golf game went on autopilot, and I just enjoyed recalling my memories of her.  At one point I looked out across the seventeenth hole, the sun had peaked over the valley and there wasn’t another golfer in sight.  It was a perfect moment, and it felt like she was there.”

Though he grieved her loss greatly, Tom confessed that golf acted as a bulwark.  He used those 54 holes, walking alone, to sort through his jumbled feelings.  He came to terms with his loss, prayed for his Grandmother, and started to move on.  It was moments like on the seventeenth that made the transition into a life without his grandmother a little easier.

“In the passing moments of day to day life, sometimes the grief would seem overwhelming,” he said. “It was surprising, and always caught me off guard.  When I was on the course though, for those four hours, I was centered and calm.”

Each person grieves in his or her own way, and for Tom it was on the course.  Tom hasn’t asked for understanding, but he was confident for those who have lived the game of golf like he has will nod their heads knowingly.  For some golf is more than a game, it is a passion, and for Tom it was a way to move on.

Author’s Note: Tom asked that his name be made anonymous for the privacy of his family.

Click here for more discussion in the “General Golf Talk” forum.

GolfWRX is the world's largest and best online golf community. Expert editorial reviews, breaking golf tour and industry news, what to play, how to play and where to play. GolfWRX surrounds consumers throughout the buying, learning and enrichment process from original photographic and video content, to peer to peer advice and camaraderie, to technical how-tos, and more. As the largest online golf community we continue to protect the purity of our members opinions and the platform to voice them. We want to protect the interests of golfers by providing an unbiased platform to feel proud to contribute to for years to come. You can follow GolfWRX on Twitter @GolfWRX and on Facebook.

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Club Junkie

Building my 2026 gamer WITB: Ranking the contenders and new putter projects – Club Junkie Podcast

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The annual What’s In The Bag build is underway, and on this episode of Club Junkie, Brian breaks down the clubs currently leading the race for a spot in his 2026 gamer setup. From drivers and fairway woods to irons, wedges, and shafts, he ranks the equipment that’s performing best and explains what’s separating the front runners from the rest of the field.

Brian also heads into the workshop to discuss several putter projects currently on the bench. From head options and shaft choices to build ideas and testing plans, he shares what he’s working on and which putters could become serious contenders for the bag this season.

If you’re a gear junkie who loves equipment testing, club building, and the never-ending pursuit of the perfect setup, this episode is for you.

Follow Club Junkie:
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Club Junkie

Tour Edge Exotics mini driver review + TaylorMade Spider ZT Max first look – Club Junkie

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On this episode of Club Junkie, I put the new Tour Edge Exotics Mini Driver to the test and break down the performance, forgiveness, distance, and where it fits compared to a traditional driver or strong fairway wood. If you have been curious about adding a mini driver to the bag, this one is worth a look.

I also dive into the new TaylorMade Spider ZT Max putter that was recently spotted and discuss the growing zero torque putter trend. Plus, there is a closer look at the new Project X Titan Yellow shaft showing up on the PGA Tour and what makes it different from other profiles currently out there.

 

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Opinion & Analysis

AVL: We’re talking about practice! My best tips for taking your game to the course

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With the beginning of June on the horizon and courses rounding into peak condition for the season, it’s time to hone the finer skills that often get rusty over the winter. More sunlight also means more time to get out on the course and work on your game.

Whether it’s the practice green or the driving range, there’s always something to improve—whether you’re enjoying the fresh air or preparing for a weekend game or tournament. You can work on drills or freestyle around the green, and friendly competition is a great way to sharpen your skills.

While there are endless ways to get better at golf, I’m going to focus on practicing around the green. Let’s take a look at a few things to keep in mind as we head into the summer months.

Drills

From the driving range to the practice green, it’s important to incorporate drills into your routine. Years ago, I spent a weekend working on my short game with James Sieckmann. He recommended doing drill work for 5–10 minutes, then returning to your main practice.

This way, you create a balance between structured drills and real-world scenarios, so you’re not confined to “perfect” situations. For example, hitting the same three-foot putt over and over is good for repetition, but after a while, it becomes less interactive for your brain.

My approach is to use a putting trainer with a narrow gate for the ball to pass through, or simply place tees just outside the width of the ball. I’ll hit a series of four putts through the gate for three sets. Then, from a similar distance, I’ll hit four putts without the training aid and repeat that sequence three times.

Next, I’ll hit a number of 15–25 foot putts in a random fashion, then circle back to repeat the short putt drills with and without the training aid.

This breaks up the rhythm of hitting short putts with the training aid. When you hit the same short putts over and over, it’s easy to get into a groove—which is great for the drill, but not reflective of actual course play. While finding a rhythm is fundamental for drills, I like to introduce variation with longer putts to keep things realistic.

Game Mode

Once you’ve established a foundation with drills, it’s time to simulate on-course scenarios. This is where a few practice games come in handy.

One that I’ve been enjoying lately involves putting 10- to 15-footers with two balls. If I make the putt, great! If I miss, I pull the missed ball back a putter length. Suddenly, that little tap-in becomes a nerve-wracking three-footer—at least at first. As you get better at this game, those three- and five-footers become much more comfortable and routine.

It may sound cliché, but each shot is just what it is—it’s how we react that makes the difference. I like this game because it blends the pressure of on-course putting with the consequence of leaving yourself a much longer putt than usual.

Another game I like is one I recently learned from Brad Faxon. Place three tees in a line at four different locations around the hole: one at 3 feet, one at 6 feet, and one at 8 feet. The 3- and 6-foot putts count as par, and the 8-footer is for birdie.

This game keeps you focused on scoring and helps you get into a competitive mindset. You can even think about this putting game while you’re on the course. I just started playing it, and last week I couldn’t get better than two under par.

Competition

Competition during practice is when drills and games come to life, and you start to see results. For me, nothing beats a putting contest with a friend or two. In the right setting, these contests can become talking points for the whole season.

Match play, a game of 21, or simply seeing who can make the most one-putts (with a small prize on the line) are all great ways to simulate real on-course pressure. Recently, I played in a putting contest where one competitor made back-to-back 30- and 50-foot putts. As they say, expect your opponent to make every putt—and he nearly did. That’s impressive, and it’s something you see on the course, too: you have to stay committed to your game plan, no matter what.

When it comes to practice, it’s important to blend feedback from recent rounds with the fundamentals you want to reinforce. Drills, games, and competition—from the driving range to the putting green—form the backbone of skills you’ll rely on during actual rounds.

Finding the right balance is something we’re all working on, one practice session at a time. With the beginning of June on the horizon and courses rounding into peak condition for the season, it’s time to hone the finer skills that often get rusty over the winter. More sunlight also means more time to get out on the course and work on your game. Whether it’s the practice green or the driving range, there’s always something to improve—whether you’re enjoying the fresh air or preparing for a weekend game or tournament. You can work on drills or freestyle around the green, and friendly competition is a great way to sharpen your skills. While there are endless ways to get better at golf, I’m going to focus on practicing around the green. Let’s take a look at a few things to keep in mind as we head into the summer months.

Drills

From the driving range to the practice green, it’s important to incorporate drills into your routine. Years ago, I spent a weekend working on my short game with James Sieckmann. He recommended doing drill work for 5–10 minutes, then returning to your main practice. This way, you create a balance between structured drills and real-world scenarios, so you’re not confined to “perfect” situations. For example, hitting the same three-foot putt over and over is good for repetition, but after a while, it becomes less interactive for your brain.

My approach is to use a putting trainer with a narrow gate for the ball to pass through, or simply place tees just outside the width of the ball. I’ll hit a series of four putts through the gate for three sets. Then, from a similar distance, I’ll hit four putts without the training aid and repeat that sequence three times. Next, I’ll hit a number of 15–25 foot putts in a random fashion, then circle back to repeat the short putt drills with and without the training aid.

This breaks up the rhythm of hitting short putts with the training aid. When you hit the same short putts over and over, it’s easy to get into a groove—which is great for the drill, but not reflective of actual course play. While finding a rhythm is fundamental for drills, I like to introduce variation with longer putts to keep things realistic.

Game Mode

Once you’ve established a foundation with drills, it’s time to simulate on-course scenarios. This is where a few practice games come in handy. One that I’ve been enjoying lately involves putting 10- to 15-footers with two balls. If I make the putt, great! If I miss, I pull the missed ball back a putter length.

Suddenly, that little tap-in becomes a nerve-wracking three-footer—at least at first. As you get better at this game, those three- and five-footers become much more comfortable and routine. It may sound cliché, but each shot is just what it is—it’s how we react that makes the difference. I like this game because it blends the pressure of on-course putting with the consequence of leaving yourself a much longer putt than usual.

Another game I like is one I recently learned from Brad Faxon. Place three tees in a line at four different locations around the hole: one at 3 feet, one at 6 feet, and one at 8 feet. The 3- and 6-foot putts count as par, and the 8-footer is for birdie.

This game keeps you focused on scoring and helps you get into a competitive mindset. You can even think about this putting game while you’re on the course. I just started playing it, and last week I couldn’t get better than two under par.

Competition

Competition during practice is when drills and games come to life, and you start to see results. For me, nothing beats a putting contest with a friend or two. In the right setting, these contests can become talking points for the whole season. Match play, a game of 21, or simply seeing who can make the most one-putts (with a small prize on the line) are all great ways to simulate real on-course pressure. Recently, I played in a putting contest where one competitor made back-to-back 30- and 50-foot putts. As they say, expect your opponent to make every putt—and he nearly did. That’s impressive, and it’s something you see on the course, too: you have to stay committed to your game plan, no matter what.

When it comes to practice, it’s important to blend feedback from recent rounds with the fundamentals you want to reinforce. Drills, games, and competition—from the driving range to the putting green—form the backbone of skills you’ll rely on during actual rounds. Finding the right balance is something we’re all working on, one practice session at a time.

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