Opinion & Analysis
The worst words in golf
Everyone thinks the three worst words in golf are “You’re still away.”
I think that’s wrong. I think the three worst words are “Out of bounds.”
Well, really, I’m not positive. It’s possible the three worst words are “Better hit again,” or maybe they’re a question, not a statement: “Have another ball?” Or perhaps they’re really the four worst words, when spoken by a companion who likes to enunciate his words while he twists the knife into me: “You’re out of bounds;” “You better hit again;” or “You’ll need another ball.”
I do know for sure the five worst words are, “That’s a two-stroke penalty.” And the seven worst words are, “That’s the third straight hole you’ve three-putted.”
What the six worst words might be is a close contest: I think the top two contenders are “I shot 50 on the front,” and, “There’s a two-hour rain delay.” Of course that leads to the clear winner for the 12 worst words in golf: “I shot 50 on the front after that two-hour rain delay.”
There are almost too many possibilities for the two worst words in golf but I think you’ll agree that “triple bogey” beats “double bogey” when it all comes down on your own scorecard. I know some of you might argue that “That’s wet” or “Wrong ball” could be considered as well. And yesterday there was the quick question my buddy asked me when writing down our scores after No. 5 at Rolling Greens: “That seven?”
But the eight worst words are definitely, “Go ahead and hit, you can’t reach them,” and the five worst words are probably, “I can’t count that high,” though “You already used your mulligan” might also qualify.
The worst word? That’s a hard one. I suppose “Fore!” is a possibility. So is “Bunker!” I’d be tempted to name “Water!” the winner if I was the one hearing it, not the one saying it with feigned sadness to my playing partner.
“Trouble” might deserve consideration, as generic as it is. Well, really, “reload” surely beats that. I guess it all depends if I’m the one hearing it add insult to my injury, or if I’m the one saying it in head-shaking commiseration to the guy I’m betting with.
But we shouldn’t always accentuate the negative. Magazine articles, blog entries and Hank Haney Radio all tell me we shouldn’t focus on the bad things that happen on the course — there are too many of them and it’s too easy to get overwhelmed — instead, we should focus on the positive.
I think the three best words to hear on the golf course are either, “down the middle” or “on the green.” No wait. That’s wrong. Clearly the three best words have to be “Hole-in-one!”
Well, let’s be realistic. “That’s a birdie” has a pleasant enough ring to it. And anyone who thinks it should be, “That’s an eagle,” well, I don’t want to play in your foursome.
I know the guys I’m with every Saturday morning say the five best words are, “Here comes the beer cart,” and my personal favorite for the seven best words is, “There’s no one in front of us.”
The six best words to hear are, “You beat me all three ways,” while the six best words to say are, “I can bogey in for 79.”
And when it comes down to the end of the day and you’re adding up the final scores, the absolutely nicest two words to hear on the golf course are also the rarest: “Even par.” But if I’m on a tee somewhere on the course I’ll be happy to settle for, “Nice drive,” or at least, “That’s dry.”
And finally, for all of us who struggle for pars and bogeys and lose our bets more often than we win, at last, I offer four words that both salute our achievement, at least for one hole, and prove we belong on the golf course: “You have the honors.”
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19th Hole
Vincenzi’s 2024 Zurich Classic of New Orleans betting preview
The PGA TOUR heads to New Orleans to play the 2023 Zurich Classic of New Orleans. In a welcome change from the usual stroke play, the Zurich Classic is a team event. On Thursday and Saturday, the teams play best ball, and on Friday and Sunday the teams play alternate shot.
TPC Louisiana is a par 72 that measures 7,425 yards. The course features some short par 4s and plenty of water and bunkers, which makes for a lot of exciting risk/reward scenarios for competitors. Pete Dye designed the course in 2004 specifically for the Zurich Classic, although the event didn’t make its debut until 2007 because of Hurricane Katrina.
Coming off of the Masters and a signature event in consecutive weeks, the field this week is a step down, and understandably so. Many of the world’s top players will be using this time to rest after a busy stretch.
However, there are some interesting teams this season with some stars making surprise appearances in the team event. Some notable teams include Patrick Cantlay and Xander Schauffele, Rory McIlroy and Shane Lowry, Collin Morikawa and Kurt Kitayama, Will Zalatoris and Sahith Theegala as well as a few Canadian teams, Nick Taylor and Adam Hadwin and Taylor Pendrith and Corey Conners.
Past Winners at TPC Louisiana
- 2023: Riley/Hardy (-30)
- 2022: Cantlay/Schauffele (-29)
- 2021: Leishman/Smith (-20)
- 2019: Palmer/Rahm (-26)
- 2018: Horschel/Piercy (-22)
- 2017: Blixt/Smith (-27)
2024 Zurich Classic of New Orleans Picks
Tom Hoge/Maverick McNealy +2500 (DraftKings)
Tom Hoge is coming off of a solid T18 finish at the RBC Heritage and finished T13 at last year’s Zurich Classic alongside Harris English.
This season, Hoge is having one of his best years on Tour in terms of Strokes Gained: Approach. In his last 24 rounds, the only player to top him on the category is Scottie Scheffler. Hoge has been solid on Pete Dye designs, ranking 28th in the field over his past 36 rounds.
McNealy is also having a solid season. He’s finished T6 at the Waste Management Phoenix Open and T9 at the PLAYERS Championship. He recently started working with world renowned swing coach, Butch Harmon, and its seemingly paid dividends in 2024.
Keith Mitchell/Joel Dahmen +4000 (DraftKings)
Keith Mitchell is having a fantastic season, finishing in the top-20 of five of his past seven starts on Tour. Most recently, Mitchell finished T14 at the Valero Texas Open and gained a whopping 6.0 strokes off the tee. He finished 6th at last year’s Zurich Classic.
Joel Dahmen is having a resurgent year and has been dialed in with his irons. He also has a T11 finish at the PLAYERS Championship at TPC Sawgrass which is another Pete Dye track. With Mitchell’s length and Dahmen’s ability to put it close with his short irons, the Mitchell/Dahmen combination will be dangerous this week.
Taylor Moore/Matt NeSmith +6500 (DraftKings)
Taylor Moore has quickly developed into one of the more consistent players on Tour. He’s finished in the top-20 in three of his past four starts, including a very impressive showing at The Masters, finishing T20. He’s also finished T4 at this event in consecutive seasons alongside Matt NeSmith.
NeSmith isn’t having a great 2024, but has seemed to elevate his game in this format. He finished T26 at Pete Dye’s TPC Sawgrass, which gives the 30-year-old something to build off of. NeSmith is also a great putter on Bermudagrass, which could help elevate Moore’s ball striking prowess.
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19th Hole
Vincenzi’s 2024 LIV Adelaide betting preview: Cam Smith ready for big week down under
After having four of the top twelve players on the leaderboard at The Masters, LIV Golf is set for their fifth event of the season: LIV Adelaide.
For both LIV fans and golf fans in Australia, LIV Adelaide is one of the most anticipated events of the year. With 35,000 people expected to attend each day of the tournament, the Grange Golf Club will be crawling with fans who are passionate about the sport of golf. The 12th hole, better known as “the watering hole”, is sure to have the rowdiest of the fans cheering after a long day of drinking some Leishman Lager.
The Grange Golf Club is a par-72 that measures 6,946 yards. The course features minimal resistance, as golfers went extremely low last season. In 2023, Talor Gooch shot consecutive rounds of 62 on Thursday and Friday, giving himself a gigantic cushion heading into championship Sunday. Things got tight for a while, but in the end, the Oklahoma State product was able to hold off The Crushers’ Anirban Lahiri for a three-shot victory.
The Four Aces won the team competition with the Range Goats finishing second.
*All Images Courtesy of LIV Golf*
Past Winners at LIV Adelaide
- 2023: Talor Gooch (-19)
Stat Leaders Through LIV Miami
Green in Regulation
- Richard Bland
- Jon Rahm
- Paul Casey
Fairways Hit
- Abraham Ancer
- Graeme McDowell
- Henrik Stenson
Driving Distance
- Bryson DeChambeau
- Joaquin Niemann
- Dean Burmester
Putting
- Cameron Smith
- Louis Oosthuizen
- Matt Jones
2024 LIV Adelaide Picks
Cameron Smith +1400 (DraftKings)
When I pulled up the odds for LIV Adelaide, I was more than a little surprised to see multiple golfers listed ahead of Cameron Smith on the betting board. A few starts ago, Cam finished runner-up at LIV Hong Kong, which is a golf course that absolutely suits his eye. Augusta National in another course that Smith could roll out of bed and finish in the top-ten at, and he did so two weeks ago at The Masters, finishing T6.
At Augusta, he gained strokes on the field on approach, off the tee (slightly), and of course, around the green and putting. Smith able to get in the mix at a major championship despite coming into the week feeling under the weather tells me that his game is once again rounding into form.
The Grange Golf Club is another course that undoubtedly suits the Australian. Smith is obviously incredibly comfortable playing in front of the Aussie faithful and has won three Australian PGA Championship’s. The course is very short and will allow Smith to play conservative off the tee, mitigating his most glaring weakness. With birdies available all over the golf course, there’s a chance the event turns into a putting contest, and there’s no one on the planet I’d rather have in one of those than Cam Smith.
Louis Oosthuizen +2200 (DraftKings)
Louis Oosthuizen has simply been one of the best players on LIV in the 2024 seas0n. The South African has finished in the top-10 on the LIV leaderboard in three of his five starts, with his best coming in Jeddah, where he finished T2. Perhaps more impressively, Oosthuizen finished T7 at LIV Miami, which took place at Doral’s “Blue Monster”, an absolutely massive golf course. Given that Louis is on the shorter side in terms of distance off the tee, his ability to play well in Miami shows how dialed he is with the irons this season.
In addition to the LIV finishes, Oosthuizen won back-to-back starts on the DP World Tour in December at the Alfred Dunhill Championship and the Mauritus Open. He also finished runner-up at the end of February in the International Series Oman. The 41-year-old has been one of the most consistent performers of 2024, regardless of tour.
For the season, Louis ranks 4th on LIV in birdies made, T9 in fairways hit and first in putting. He ranks 32nd in driving distance, but that won’t be an issue at this short course. Last season, he finished T11 at the event, but was in decent position going into the final round but fell back after shooting 70 while the rest of the field went low. This season, Oosthuizen comes into the event in peak form, and the course should be a perfect fit for his smooth swing and hot putter this week.
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Opinion & Analysis
The Wedge Guy: What really makes a wedge work? Part 1
Of all the clubs in our bags, wedges are almost always the simplest in construction and, therefore, the easiest to analyze what might make one work differently from another if you know what to look for.
Wedges are a lot less mysterious than drivers, of course, as the major brands are working with a lot of “pixie dust” inside these modern marvels. That’s carrying over more to irons now, with so many new models featuring internal multi-material technologies, and almost all of them having a “badge” or insert in the back to allow more complex graphics while hiding the actual distribution of mass.
But when it comes to wedges, most on the market today are still single pieces of molded steel, either cast or forged into that shape. So, if you look closely at where the mass is distributed, it’s pretty clear how that wedge is going to perform.
To start, because of their wider soles, the majority of the mass of almost any wedge is along the bottom third of the clubhead. So, the best wedge shots are always those hit between the 2nd and 5th grooves so that more mass is directly behind that impact. Elite tour professionals practice incessantly to learn to do that consistently, wearing out a spot about the size of a penny right there. If impact moves higher than that, the face is dramatically thinner, so smash factor is compromised significantly, which reduces the overall distance the ball will fly.
Every one of us, tour players included, knows that maddening shot that we feel a bit high on the face and it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s not your fault.
If your wedges show a wear pattern the size of a silver dollar, and centered above the 3rd or 4th groove, you are not getting anywhere near the same performance from shot to shot. Robot testing proves impact even two to three grooves higher in the face can cause distance loss of up to 35 to 55 feet with modern ‘tour design’ wedges.
In addition, as impact moves above the center of mass, the golf club principle of gear effect causes the ball to fly higher with less spin. Think of modern drivers for a minute. The “holy grail” of driving is high launch and low spin, and the driver engineers are pulling out all stops to get the mass as low in the clubhead as possible to optimize this combination.
Where is all the mass in your wedges? Low. So, disregarding the higher lofts, wedges “want” to launch the ball high with low spin – exactly the opposite of what good wedge play requires penetrating ball flight with high spin.
While almost all major brand wedges have begun putting a tiny bit more thickness in the top portion of the clubhead, conventional and modern ‘tour design’ wedges perform pretty much like they always have. Elite players learn to hit those crisp, spinny penetrating wedge shots by spending lots of practice time learning to consistently make contact low in the face.
So, what about grooves and face texture?
Grooves on any club can only do so much, and no one has any material advantage here. The USGA tightly defines what we manufacturers can do with grooves and face texture, and modern manufacturing techniques allow all of us to push those limits ever closer. And we all do. End of story.
Then there’s the topic of bounce and grinds, the most complex and confusing part of the wedge formula. Many top brands offer a complex array of sole configurations, all of them admittedly specialized to a particular kind of lie or turf conditions, and/or a particular divot pattern.
But if you don’t play the same turf all the time, and make the same size divot on every swing, how would you ever figure this out?
The only way is to take any wedge you are considering and play it a few rounds, hitting all the shots you face and observing the results. There’s simply no other way.
So, hopefully this will inspire a lively conversation in our comments section, and I’ll chime in to answer any questions you might have.
And next week, I’ll dive into the rest of the wedge formula. Yes, shafts, grips and specifications are essential, too.
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Al
Mar 14, 2015 at 9:20 am
Great article, post some more!
Derek
Mar 14, 2015 at 8:43 am
I dunno… I always like reading the “Controversial” articles (80+ shanks and 65+ likes at the time of writing.)
I found this article to be very witty, pretty well thought out and extremely relatable as a golfer. I’m not really quite so sure… I liked it though.
Thank you for some light hearteded refreshingness.
acemandrake
Mar 12, 2015 at 5:16 pm
Best: “Nice two”
Worst: “We already have three”
chunner
Mar 12, 2015 at 1:37 pm
Yay, birdie to bogie!
other paul
Mar 12, 2015 at 1:19 pm
“frost delay” my wife saying “you want to play again this summer? Its a hobby not an addiction”. How little she knows.
Joe Golfer
Mar 12, 2015 at 2:13 am
This man is legitimately a good writer.
Well thought out, with good humor.
Kudos.
Tom HIll
Mar 12, 2015 at 8:08 pm
Thanks mom.
Bob
Mar 11, 2015 at 9:16 pm
“You still have a shot.”
rgb
Mar 11, 2015 at 7:36 pm
“I’m sure I saw it go in around here.”
usgaer
Mar 11, 2015 at 11:49 am
“cart path only”
TinCup
Mar 13, 2015 at 8:47 am
+1 million
Ken
Mar 11, 2015 at 7:51 am
“That won’t hurt you.”
Joe
Mar 10, 2015 at 7:15 pm
He’s right
Shallowface
Mar 10, 2015 at 6:21 pm
I’m sick of the word “technology” being used to describe the attributes of a bludgeon.
Rich
Mar 10, 2015 at 5:12 pm
I think the worst 2 words are “stayed patient”. If I hear another pro say that after a good round I’m going to throw something at the TV, hard.
Patrick Reed
Mar 10, 2015 at 3:50 pm
I came up with a nifty lil phrase
Doesn’t really apply to worst words in golf though
PDON
Mar 10, 2015 at 3:44 pm
How about “shank you very much”
Ponjo
Mar 10, 2015 at 1:05 pm
Your playing partner saying “It’s in”…………….as another putt defies gravity and stays above ground
snowman
Mar 10, 2015 at 12:23 pm
“I can bogey in for 79.”….. Say that one and I guarantee you won’t break 80.
other paul
Mar 12, 2015 at 1:16 pm
I needed par on 16,17,18. I bogeyed and then finished birdie par. Phew. 79
Eric
Mar 10, 2015 at 11:51 am
The worst word is golfing….I play golf…..I don’t go golfing.
Jon Silverberg
Mar 11, 2015 at 12:23 pm
Got that right
The dude
Mar 10, 2015 at 11:19 am
Your a cheater
ROb
Mar 13, 2015 at 2:45 pm
yeah especially with grammar like that. Their is the issue with that statement two, it doesn’t make cents.
Matt
Mar 10, 2015 at 11:04 am
“Don’t count that!”
Mike J
Mar 10, 2015 at 10:51 am
“Taylor Made”
slider
Mar 10, 2015 at 7:28 pm
lol I agree
pat
Mar 10, 2015 at 10:43 am
WTF was this all about
CapBozo
Mar 10, 2015 at 10:02 am
Worst 6 words: “It may open up over there.”
theo
Mar 10, 2015 at 9:54 am
This website is the worst in golf
Chris
Mar 10, 2015 at 10:24 am
and yet, here you are.
The dude
Mar 10, 2015 at 11:36 am
Hahha….dip$h!t….
Scott
Mar 10, 2015 at 11:58 am
It is OK to have a few light hearted articles every once in a while. Lighten up Francis.
Murray
Mar 11, 2015 at 12:19 pm
Don’t get too many Stripes references on Golf blogs — nice