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Predictions Prognostications and Educated Guesses

Published

16 years ago

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I stumbled into an old friend, the Oracle of Delphi, while on a mission to acquire supplies necessary in the celebration of the birth of a New Year.  After exchanging pleasantries as is customary when encountering someone not seen in years; I sharing the progress in the development and education of my children, she on the difficulties involved in discovering and maintaining a sufficient number of virgins to continue as a leader in the forcasting game, she shared with me her visions for the Game of Golf in 2008.  I thought about passing these off as my own, but experience has shown the Oracle to have powerful friends in very high places with the ability to make my life exceptionally uncomfortable.  Thus I give credit where credit is due.

Know that these are listed randomly, with a very loose translation provided by yours truly. And I do mean loose, my friend has never been known to speak clearly (enunciation problems you know), and my ancient Greek is kind of  rusty.

 

There will appear in the media at least 3 individuals touted to be the next incarnation of Tiger Woods.  One of these shall be under the age of 5 years, one shall be prepubescent, and the remainder are hidden by a cloud of hormones and acne.  The total number of successors to the throne of Tiger is proportional to the number of slow news days.

Jacqueline Gagne will record 162 holes in one by the 12th of June.  For none of these events will a witness actually see the ball roll into the hole.  If you come across Ms. Gagne during any round of golf move far far away. Anyone this hot is in serious danger of spontaneously combusting.

At least 6 winners on the LPGA Tour will bear the name Kim.  Would someone please convince the commissioner that providing translators might be a good idea.  Some of us would like to learn something about these folks.

More than 4 winners on the PGA Tour will actually have a personality.  It may not be a pleasant one, but hey, at least it’ll be there.

Tiger Woods will win a minimum of 2 Majors and a maximum of 3.  No Grand Slam this year.  He will be unable to dominate at ping pong during the Ryder Cup.

The USGA will ban the use of grooves on all wedges.  That’s grooves as in plural, more than one.  Instead they will decree only a single groove is permissible since the game is getting too easy.  This despite the fact that scoring average has not come down significantly in the last thousand years.  As an aside I had to explain to my buddy the Oracle just what the heck a wedge is and why it needs grooves.  Dick Rugge of the USGA will be burned in effigy by an unruly mob led by Roger Cleveland and Bob Volke.

The average handicap will stay the same. ( I’d bet my own money on this one because the Oracle was really clear on this)

John Daly will be married twice and divorced four times. (Don’t ask I can’t make the math come out right either)

Phil Mickelson will only self destruct once, in public, on a golf course.  Butch Harmon will just shake his head in wonder.

Carolyn Bivens will actually show up at all the LPGA major championships this year.  Two of them by accident.

And finally, as a gesture of friendship, or perhaps just to aggravate me, my game will still suffer from a severe case of LFT.  (not an odd abbreviation for left, it stands for Lack of Freaking Talent in family friendly terms)

That’s it.  Enjoy the New Year.

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1 Comment

  1. Andy Brown

    Dec 29, 2007 at 11:22 pm

    This is a brilliant piece. I loved the bit where you say “The total number of successors to the throne of Tiger will be proportional to the number of slow news days” . It gives a wonderful insight into how news has to be manufactured to be able to sell it. How exaggeration and sensationalism are often used under the garb of incisive analysis to make the piece sell.

    Personally I believe the first few months of the new year will be dominated with player interviews on their hopes and expectations for the year and then the media would sit to dissect these players into different categories. Those who want to catch the big cat and those who have moderate expectations. Those who are listed in the “chase the Tiger” pack would be further classified as Arrogant/Cocky or Determined/Perseverant based on how they express their desire to become the number one golfer in the world.

    As is clear from the reports in the last fortnight or so, Jason Day and Justin Rose have been placed in the two different categories. Of course it remains to be seen if they can lift their game to anywhere near the level of Tiger. Don’t think anyone would be offering great odds on that one.

    I would like to stick my neck out to say this coming year Tiger will not be able to capture a single major. The four premier events will be won by underdogs (read: anyone whose initials are not T.E.W)

    http://www.golfswingsecretsrevealed.com/blog/2007/09/18/lost-for-words-with-woods/

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Five Things We Learned: Friday at the PGA Championship

Published

11 hours ago

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May 18, 2024

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Early on Friday morning, a vendor working for the PGA Championship was struck and killed by a tournament shuttle bus. Nearly at the same time, as he arrived for his second round of tournament play, Scottie Scheffler attempted to detour around the scene, and was arrested, booked, then released. Somehow, Scheffler returned to Valhalla and played his second round of the tournament. Despite the jokes and memes of some in the golf industry, the tournament took a back seat to life and humanity on Friday morning. Our prayers are with the family and friends of the vendor, as well as with all involved.

Day two of Valhalla’s fourth PGA Championship did not see a repeat of the record-setting 62 posted by first-day leader, Xander Schauffele. The low card of 65 was returned by five golfers, when play was suspended by darkness. Five golfers still on the course, were on the positive side of the expected cut line of one-under par, while 12 more either had work to do, or knew that their week had come to an end.

The best 70 golfers and ties would advance to the weekend. 64 golfers figured at minus-two on Friday evening, with another 15 at one-under par. The most likely scenario saw those at even par, headed home. The formula was simple: finish under par and stick around. Play resumed at 7:15 on Saturday, to sort through the last six threesomes. Before the night turned over, we learned five important things to set us up for a weekend of excitement and excellence. It’s a pleasure to share them with you.

1. The 65s

On Thursday, three golfers etched 65 into the final box on their card of play. On Friday, nearly twice that number finished at six-under par for the round. Collin Morikawa moved from top-five into a spot in the final pairing. The 2020 PGA Champion at Harding Park teed off at the tenth hole, and turned in minus-two. He then ran off five consecutive birdies from the fourth tee to the eighth green, before finding trouble at the ninth, his last hole of the day. Bogey at nine dropped him from -12 to -11.

The same score moved Bryson DeChambeau from 11th spot to T4. Joining the pair with 65s on day two were Matt Wallace and Hideki Matsuyama (each with 70-65 for T11) and Lee Hodges (71-65 for T16.) Morikawa, Matsuyama, and DeChambeau have major championship wins in their names, while Wallace has been on the when to break through list his entire career. Hodges epitomizes the term journeyman, bu the PGA Championship is the one major of them all when lesser-known challegers find a way to break through.

2. The Corebridge team of PGA Professionals

Last year’s Cinderella story, Michael Block, did not repeat his Oak Hill success. Block missed the cut by a fair amount. Of the other 19, however, two were poised to conclude play and reach the weekend’s play. Braden Shattuck had finished at one-under par, while Jeremy Wells (-2) and Ben Polland (-1) were inside the glory line, each with two holes to play.

With three holes to play on the front nine, Kyle Mendoza sits at even par. His task is simple: play the final triumvirate in one-under par or better. If Mendoza can pull off that feat, and if the aforementioned triumvirate can hold steady, the club professional segment of the tournament will have four representatives in play over the weekend.

3. Scottie Scheffler

In his post-round interview, Scheffler admitted that his second round, following the surreal nature of the early morning’s events, was made possible by the support he received from patrons and fellow competitors. The new father expressed his great sadness for the loss of life, and also praised some of the first responders that had accompanied him in the journey from course to jail cell. Yes, jail cell. Scheffler spoke of beginning his warm-up routine with jail-house stretches.

Once he returned to Valhalla, Scheffler found a way to a two-under, opening nine holes. He began birdie-bogey-birdie on holes ten through twelve, then eased into a stretch of pars, before making birdie at the par-five 18th. His second nine holes featured three birdies and six pars, allowing him to improve by one shot from day one. Scheffler found himself in a fourth-place tie with Thomas Detry, and third-round tee time in the third-last pairing. Scheffler’s poise illustrated grace under pressure, which is the only way that he could have reached this status through 36 holes.

4. Sahith!

It’s a little bit funny that the fellow who followed 65 with 67, is nowhere to be found on the video highlight reels. He’s not alone in that respect, as Thomas Detry (T4) was also ignored by the cameras. Theegala has won on tour, and has the game to win again. The Californian turned in four-under par on Friday, then made an excruciating bogey at the par-five tenth. He redeemed himself two holes later, with birdie at the twelfth hole.

Theegala is an unproven commodity in major events. He has one top-ten finish: the 2023 Masters saw him finish 9th. He did tie for 40th in 2023, in this event, at Oak Hill. Is he likely to be around on Sunday? Yes. Will he be inside the top ten? If he is, he has a shot on Sunday. If Saturday is not a 67 or better, Theegala will not figure in the outcome of the 2024 championship.

5. X Man!!

After the fireworks of day one, Xander Schauffele preserved his lead at the 2024 PGA Championship. He holds a one-shot advantage and will tee off in the final pairing on Saturday, with Collin Morikawa. Eleven holes into round two, Schauffele made his first bogey of the week. The stumble stalled his momentum, as he had played the first ten holes in minus-four. Will the run of seven pars at the end signal a negative turn in the tide of play for Schauffele? We’ll find out on day three. One thing is for sure: minus twelve will not win this tournament. Schauffele will likely need to reach twenty under par over the next two days, to win his first major title.

 

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Scottie Scheffler arrested, charged, and released after traffic incident at Valhalla

Published

2 days ago

on

May 17, 2024

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As first reported by ESPN’s Jeff Darlington, Scottie Scheffler has been detained by police on the way to Valhalla Golf Club this morning due to a traffic misunderstanding.

“Breaking News: World No. 1 golfer Scottie Scheffler has been detained by police in handcuffs after a misunderstanding with traffic flow led to his attempt to drive past a police officer into Valhalla Golf Club. The police officer attempted to attach himself to Scheffler’s car, and Scheffler then stopped his vehicle at the entrance to Valhalla. The police officer then began to scream at Scheffler to get out of the car.

“When Scheffler exited the vehicle, the officer shoved Scheffler against the car and immediately placed him in handcuffs. He is now being detained in the back of a police car.”

Darlington also posted a video of the dramatic moment which you can view below:

There was an unrelated accident at around 5am, which is what may have caused some of the misunderstanding of which traffic was moving.

Speaking on ESPN, Darlington broke down exactly what he witnessed in full detail:

“Entering Valhalla Golf Club this morning, we witness a car pull around us that was Scottie Scheffler. Scottie Scheffler has been detained by police officers, placed in the back of a police vehicle in handcuffs after he tried to pull around what he believed to be security, ended up being police officers.

“They told him to stop, when he didn’t stop, the police officer attached himself to the vehicle, and Scheffler then travelled another 10 yards before stopping the car.”

“The police officer then grabbed at his arm, attempting to pull him out of the car, before Scheffler eventually opened the door, at which point the police officer pulled Scheffler out of the car, pushed him up against the car and immediately placed him in handcuffs. Scheffler was then walked over to the police car, placed in the back in handcuffs.

“Very stunned about what was happening, he looked towards me as he was in those handcuffs and said ‘please help me’. He very clearly didn’t know what was happening in the situation.”

“It moved very quickly, very rapidly, very aggressively. He was detained in that police vehicle for approximately 20 minutes. The police officers at that point did not understand that Scottie Scheffler was a golfer in the tournament, nor of course that he is the number one player in the world.”

Due to the accident, play has been delayed this morning. Scheffler’s current tee time for the second round of the PGA Championship is 10:08 a.m.

Scheffler’s mugshot following the incident:

*Update*

Scheffler has been charged with 2nd Degree assault of a police officer, criminal mischief 3rd degree, reckless driving and disregarding signals from an officer directing traffic.

*Update*

According to ESPN+, Scottie Scheffler has been released and is now on his way to the golf course.

*Update*

Scottie Scheffler arrives at Valhalla ahead of his 10:08 a.m second round tee time.

*Update*

The PGA of America released this statement regarding the fatal accident, which diverted traffic at Valhalla this morning.

“This morning we were devastated to learn that a worker with one of our vendors was tragically struck and killed by a shuttle bus outside Valhalla Golf Club. This is heartbreaking to all of us involved with the PGA Championship. We extend our sincere condolences to their family and loved ones.” 

Per the PGA Tour, Scheffler released the following statement.

We will update this developing story as more information on the situation is revealed.

More from the 19th Hole

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Five Things We Learned: Thursday at the PGA Championship

Published

2 days ago

on

May 16, 2024

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It was a year ago that we the north, found ourselves with toes and fingers crossed. The Oak Hill PGA Championship of 2023 finished on schedule, despite the iffiness of weather in upstate New York. It’s 75 degrees today across the Niagara Frontier, which makes it two out of three (2022 was the same way) for sultry, unseasonal weather.

Louisville is, let’s be honest, a much better bet for a May PGA Championship, and Valhalla is an exciting venue for the year’s second major championship on the men’s circuit. Brooks Koepka came in as the defending champion, and Rory McIlroy arrived as the last golfer to win a major at the Nicklaus-designed course. That was a decade ago, and lord, have things changed in the world and golf.

Day one at Valhalla offered walk-in eagles, buckets of birdies, and potential for a record-low, winner’s score. We’ll get right to the meat of the matter, with five things that we learned. After all, if you can make par from the muck, anything’s possible in the land of the horses.

1. X marks this spot

Xander Schauffele went head-to-head last Sunday with Rory McIlroy, at least on the practice green. By the end of the round, Rors had won for a fourth time at Charlotte, while the X Man sat scratching his head, wondering what went wrong. Fortunately for us, Xander didn’t sulk.

The San Diego State alumnus absolutely torched Jack’s track with 62. Four birdies on the front nine, were followed by five more on the inward side. Schauffele never looked as if bogey was a consideration, and he might have gone even lower. Despite winning the Covid-delayed Gold medal at the Japan Olympics (I consider it a major, btdubs) Schauffele continues to chase an initial men’s major, and the validation that it brings. If 62 doesn’t get you over the hump, who knows what will.

2. Scottie starts strong? Aye.

Last month, Mr. Scheffler won a second green jacket at Augusta National. Last year in Rochester, Mr. Scheffler tied for second in this event. Mr. Scheffler began play today with a walk-in eagle, a one-hop affair that never looked as if it might go anywhere but to its home. Scheffler had a few rough holes, but that’s to be expected from a new dad. Each time he made bogey, he bounced back with birdie, so he has that short memory that winners crave. Surprisingly, Scheffler failed to manage one last birdie at the reachable 18th. Perhaps that miss will motivate him in round two.

3. LIV Check-In

It’s good to check in on the departed from time to time, to ensure that the fellows formerly known as PGA Tour members are doing well. It’s safe to say that some of them can still play. Defending champion Brooks Koepka posted 67 on the day, He had an eagle and three birdies on the day, with only a stumble at the 17th. He’s tied for 7th. Bryson DeChambeau made an eagle of his own, but also had a bogey, at the 12th hole. He cohabits eleventh position with Cameron Smith, who ALSO had a bogey on his card. They are one shot behind Koepka, and a fistful more behind the leader.

4. Sahith and Tony at Schauffele’s heels

Both Finau and Theegala represent a special sort of athletic golfer. Their power and their charisma blend to draw golf fans to their groups. Let’s be honest, too, and say that they don’t look like the traditional professional golfer. As much as Tiger Woods did in the 1990s, they have the power to bring greater diversity to the sport.

In terms of their play today, well, only Xander was better. Finau had a clean card, with six birdies and twelve pars. Theegala had seven birdies, ten pars, and one bogey. Each combined power and finesse to insert themselves squarely in contention, ahead of round two. How will they, and Xander as well, manage the afternoon putting surface on Friday? That’s the great unknown!

5. All those other guys are here!

Rory, Tom Kim, Collin, and Viktor are all at minus-three or lower. Valhalla may not be a traditional golf course, but it is the type of course that the world’s best play well. McIlroy currently sits at minus-five, tied with Robert MacIntyre, Kim, and three others in fourth position.  Maverick McNealy finished fast to reach the same figure, as did Tom Hoge. Morikawa closed with birdie to join the sextet at five below. Both Scheffler and Morikawa finished their rounds late on Thursday, meaning they should see smoother greens on Friday morning. If someone is a betting soul, wiser wagers could not be placed on better names than those two, two-time, major champions. Rory will tee off in Friday’s afternoon wave but, hey, he’s Rory, and he won going away last week at Quail Hollow, a course not unlike Valhalla.

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