Fall Ball! Yes, I’m talking golf
By Brian Chipper
It is fall in America. This means cool nights, football, and leaves everywhere on the golf course. For most of us, this means that our golf ball is now buried, behind, or directly on top of one of these leaves.
So how do we stop the atrocity of losing a golf ball in the fairway? Okay near the fairway. Okay, okay in the rough but it flew over a lot of the fairway.
Could the color affect the chances of us finding the ball? This past year, having a neon yellow ball has become trendy. Unfortunately if your course has: Fallgold Ash, Harvest Gold Linden, Ginkgo or Sugar Maples, your score is going to balloon.
At the local pro shop I have also seen a fair amount of blaze orange golf balls. Do they stand a chance in the fall? Well, if your course is dotted with Sugar Maple, Autumn Blaze Maple, American Beech, Cimarron Ash, or Red Maples, you are going to have a bad time.
Ok what about purple? Sugar Maple, Japanese Maple, Sienna Maple, and Red Maples will make your day quite annoying.
So maybe they made the golf ball white for a reason: New Bradford Pear, May Day Tree, Redspire Pear, White Flowering Dogwood, and Aristocrat Flowering Pears will beg to differ.
Pink, yeah I know, it is so unmanly to hit a pink golf ball. Well don’t worry, you may have an excuse as: Pink Flowering Dogwood, Okame Cherry, Kwanzan Flowering Cherry trees have been known to hide your hacks. But really? Get over it is just a pink golf ball. Natalie Gulbis uses a pink golf ball and will hit you with one if you don’t accept it .
Am I calling everyone to rush to their golf course and start up the chainsaw to any deciduous tree out there? Yes, yes I am.
Okay no. No, I am not. I could make a plea to the golf ball manufactures to go back the late 1980’s Ping half-and-half colored golf balls. But that is so passé. And with your luck every variety of color tree is on your golf course.
I’m calling out the golf manufacturers to go ahead and take the jump to a golf ball with a small GPS chip in it and an App to help locate the ball. Make it expensive; $10 a ball, it doesn’t matter! If they can make a hockey puck glow on TV in 1994, it is hard for me to believe that we are not near golf ball GPS technology today.
Heck, connect the ball to my Facebook Account, Twitter, whatever (as long as it doesn’t publicly give my score with it). I’ll gladly look at an ad or two if enables me to keep enjoying the golf this Fall.
Signed, disgruntled by my lost ball in the fairway today, okay rough. Whatever, I’m not taking a penalty stroke for this!
- Brian Chipper