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TMI: The gruesome saga of Bubba Watson’s kidney stones

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Northern Trust Open champion Bubba Watson now has a matching pair of trophies from Riviera (2014 and 2016) thanks to one-stroke victory over Adam Scott and Jason Kokrak. It appears he also has a matching pair of another variety following his week in California: kidney stones.

From the department of Too Much Information and You Can’t Make this Stuff Up, Bubba Watson devoted 300 words of his post-win press conference to the subject of his urinary system issues. It seems we have ESPN’s Jason Sobel to thank for the chronological look at the Northern Trust Open winner’s expulsion of the mineral deposit, per a tweet from the scribe.

Now, we could paraphrase and pull quotes from Watson’s account, but that wouldn’t do justice to the rambling tale of woe. So here it is in its entirety. You’re welcome (we’re sorry).

Q. Can you give us details on passing that kidney stone?

BUBBA WATSON: Yes, you know what, I’ve passed two in the last five years. New Orleans a few years ago, roughly five years ago, I took a bathroom break on the 16th hole. I was playing bad enough, I started on [No.] 10, so it was the 16th hole, but the other side, the front side.

And the nicest way of saying it is, red liquid came out. And I called Angie over and I said, “We need to call a doctor, something’s going on.” There was never any pain. There was never anything. We went the very next day after that — three holes later. We flew home. They said it’s a kidney stone, it’s coming through. So you just start drinking a lot of water and stuff.

And that’s what I did. Again, best way to say it is it shot out. And no pain. Never any pain. But I don’t know if you’ve ever had red liquid come out, it’s scary. (Laughter).

So Sunday, I made the cut — I missed the cut at Pebble. And that Sunday morning playing with the kids, I had to go take a bathroom break, and same thing. Red liquid came out. I said, “This ain’t right.”

So we called the doctor, we called the tournament here. They set me up with a place. I landed on Monday morning, went. Did a CT scan and 30 minutes after the CT scan, again, just downing water, thinking it’s going to be the same thing.

Five years ago he said there was one more in my system and obviously it decided this week. My baby came out I guess. (Laughter).

Again, no pain. And I’m already a head case, so my thoughts of seeing red liquids coming out, I thought I was dying, basically, without pain.

Reportedly, the nine-time PGA Tour winner has retained the stone as a souvenir, which is really just lovely.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Rich

    Feb 23, 2016 at 4:22 am

    He is definitwly one of a kind. Love him or hate him, he’s never boring. This one was funny!

  2. MarkB A

    Feb 22, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I like Bubba but haters are gonna hate. More water and also salads with olive oil.

    • playtheblues

      Mar 2, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      haters gonna hate….how old are you nine?

  3. Fahgdat

    Feb 22, 2016 at 11:44 am

    At least there was no pain.

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WATCH: PGA Tour players play hole blindfolded and it’s hilarious/amazing

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As part of a Srixon campaign, four PGA Tour players recently participated in a three-hole challenge, with each hole being a different game; hole No. 1 was blindfolded, hole No. 2 was costumes and distractions, and hole No. 3 was alternate shot with a baseball bat. The teams were Smylie Kaufman and Sam Ryder against Shane Lowry and Grayson Murray.

Watch the full video below, since it is quite entertaining (albeit not the type of golf that Old Tom Morris surely had in mind), but in particular, make sure to check out the first hole where Lowry and Ryder play a full hole completely blind folded. It’s amazing to watch how badly Ryder struggles, and how Lowry nearly makes par.

Cleveland-Srixon’s marketing department has been hard at work crafting these viral-esque ad campaigns; if you remember, former long-drive champion Jamie Sadlowski recently dressed as 80-year-old Grandpa Jamie to fool range-goers. That video has since gathered over 1.2 million views on YouTube.

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Think you had a bad weekend on the course? At least you didn’t do this

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We hope this golfer didn’t take the ultra-premium golf equipment plunge before sending his clubs to a watery grave. Either way, this was an expensive (and strangely calm) reaction to a bad round.

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19th Hole

Tiger Woods battles terrifying deep-sea creature, wins

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With four tweets since July 21st, Tiger Woods is exposing himself on social media in a way we haven’t seen.

And with his latest tweet, he’s…exposing himself in a way we haven’t seen.

A shirtless-and-swimsuited Woods appears holding what he purports to be a lobster (but what looks more like a monster of the deep sea).

Nothing like it, indeed.

He’s lucky to have escaped with his life after battling that horrifying crustacean. Spiny lobsters, apparently, don’t have claws, but somehow that doesn’t make them any less terrifying, as they look poised to impale you and carry you off to their reefy lairs.

Not sure how big the beast in Woods grasp actually is, but it pales in comparison to this 14-pound creature from your nightmares.

14_pound_lobster_caught_near_Bermuda_0_48217534_ver1.0_640_480Anyway, Woods has been on something of a grand tour of late it seems, taking in a friendly version of El Clasico in Miami and posing with Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez.

All of this is good to see. It was two months ago that Woods entered rehab following his now-infamous Memorial Day arrest for impaired driving.

What this portends for his future on the golf course is unclear, but you’d assume the 14-time major champion is feeling pretty good if he’s free diving after monsters of the deep.

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