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Playing Away – Day Two

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17 years ago

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The day dawned on 4 seedy looking individuals desperately practising on the putting green, trying to figure out how to hit a golf ball when there appears to be two of them and neither is keeping still.

Our planned quiet night had turned into a long night of eating too much, drinking too much and making fun of each others hair or lack thereof. Waking up bleary eyed we tramped down to the worlds most expensive breakfast (what is it with hotels? What they give you with cheap beer they more than take back with the ludicrously priced breakfasts that you then need to keep the beer down the morning after) before gathering our things and shuffling off to the practise green. With dew still on the ground and aching heads we were so wrapped up in practise that we forgot the time. Only when someone glanced at their watch did we realise that we were due on the tee did we grab our bags and hightail it.We reached the first tee with only a minute to spare, where we were greeted by the unimpressed starter and the 2 foursomes that would be following us. Now you’ll excuse me for saying that turning up late having run several hundreds yards with a full golf bag and feeling hung-over is not the best way to prepare for any first tee. Let alone the first tee of a top quality course in front of a knowing audience, all of whom are secretly hoping that you make a tit of yourself for their amusement.

I was just about to ask the others if it was a good idea for me to go first as I hadn’t bothered to do any stretching or even take any warm-up swings when I was shoved forward onto the tee by 4 pairs of hands (the starter must have seen this sort of thing before and decided to join in the fun) as the sacrificial lamb.

Going off first in the group on the first tee is never my favourite thing to do, especially in front of an audience, especially on a course I’ve never played before and especially when I have the starter waving his hands at me to hurry up and my friends waving their hands at me in a way that I would like to think was wishing me well but in all accuracy was wishing me to screw up as much as humanly possible.

The first hole at Penina is an absolute beauty.  Four hundred and twenty seven yards of a dog-leg left, you tee off from a highly elevated tee right next to the hotel onto a tight fairway with OB on the left, thick trees down the right and a couple of bunkers in the landing zone to catch any drives that are almost, but not quite,  good enough.

Curiously I could see none of this. All I could see was the apparently tiny head of my 3 wood, a white ball bearing on the tee and a gun barrel narrow fairway. In the tradition of hackers everywhere, I prayed to whatever golfing gods there are – ‘Please, please let me get it on the fairway’. I made a couple of shaky practise swings.  I gripped my club, closed my eyes, remembered myself and opened them again and made my swing. By some fluke and some deft manipulation of my hands when I realised that I was more likely to hit the hotel rather than the fairway, I caught it flush and it flew sweetly down the middle. It was even good enough to rouse a smattering of applause and some appreciative nods from the waiting foursomes as it got a kick away from the bunkers and stopped in what I can modestly describe as position A.

 Ha, this lamb had kicked back! My so called friends were now the hunted and not the hunters. The glee in their eyes at the prospect of me having to tee of first was gone. What they had forgotten was that while it’s tough being the first off, that it’s nothing compared to being the last off when everyone else has hit great shots. Now the question was – who would be the first to crack?

Alex strolled up, and befitting a man who lands tin cans full of hundreds of human beings every week, stroked a drive down the middle as it was nothing (although he later admitted that he had been, in his words ‘cacking’ his pants’). He doffed his imaginary pilots cap in the way I’m sure he does after every safe landing and sauntered back.

Homer strode onto the tee next. Annoyingly, he is one of those people who seems to be unaffected by imbibing excessive amount of beer/wine/spirits/all of the above. While everyone else is talking to God on the big white porcelain telephone, Homer is standing there bright eyed and bushy tailed (although when pushed he might admit to feeling a little tired) with a big grin on his face. So of all of us, Homer was the one in best shape, or more accurately in least bad shape. Having convinced himself that his massive hybrid shot of the day before was completely normal rather than the miracle that the rest of us knew it was, he thought that this was the time to repeat it. Showing that golf has a way with the golfer who is feeling cocky, he promptly shanked the ball 90 degrees from the intended direction.

It is interesting to know that when you are 6ft 5 and built like a brick outhouse, nobody makes fun of your bad shots. There was only a respectful silence from the gathered crowd as he re-tee’d, glared at the ball, watched it fall off the tee in terror, re-tee’d again and smashed it down the middle. The only people to make a noise was us, quietly sniggering. Myself and Alex because it could have so easy been us and Billy because it wasn’t him. Billy, free from the pressure to hit a good shot following Homer’s effort, hit a gentle fade into the edge of the short stuff and we were off.

Once we were away from the pressure cooker of the first tee, we could finally relax and enjoy ourselves. Playing on a stunning course in great condition in good weather is a fantastic experience, even more so when you are playing with your best friends. The laugher started as soon as we were out of earshot and continued all day.

There are something like 400,000 trees on the Penina courses and we spent more time wandering in them that we did on the immaculate fairways. On such an impressive course, you get much more of an idea of the demands made on professionals: the tight landing areas, the glass slick greens, the risk/reward options on reachable par 4’s and shorter par 5’s. It would have been difficult to pick any one hole as the best but special mention must be made of the par 3 13th. At 204 yards from the back there is water all the way down the right hand side. Starting from the right of the tee box the water encroaches more the further you go towards the hole, curving right out into the middle of what would be the fairway before straightening to meet the centre front of the green. That day the flag was reasonable accessible, being on the left side of the green but I only can imagine how difficult a pin tucked away on the right side would be. Yours truly managed to thin a shot onto the left side of the green, Alex was just short, where he could easily chip up and make par, while Billy and Homer got wet. Billy’s shot was by far the best, skimming across the water like one of Barnes Wallis’ finest and almost making it to the far bank and the 14th fairway before finally sinking.

 A few more visits to other water hazards and many more visits to the trees later, we finally finished our round. Tired and happy (and especially happy that the walk from the 18th green to the bar is all of 50 yards) where we could talk about our best shots, the putts that lipped out and how we nearly pulled of that miracle escape and more importantly, how we were going to play the course tomorrow, our final day at Penina.

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5 Things We Learned: Saturday at the Masters

Published

11 hours ago

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Apr 13, 2024

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Just as the honorary starters broke our hearts with the reality of ageing, so too, did Saturday, with the revelation that third-round Tiger Woods is not yet (if ever) what he once was. The great champion struggled mightily to an 82, tied with three others for high round of the day. Among the top ten, the worst score posted was DeChambeau’s 75, but the large Californian remains in the hunt. Day four will see 2022 champion Scottie Scheffler pair with Collin Morikawa in the final game. In front of them will be Max Homa and Ludwig Åberg. The antipenultimate pairing will feature DeChambeau and Xander Schauffele.

If you look at the one-off major winners, most took advantage of their only chance at grand slam glory. For golfers like Homa, Schauffele, and others, Sunday the 14th might represent their best and only chance at claiming a major title. For Scheffler, Morikawa, and DeChambeau, the ability to join the two-time and three-time, major winners club holds great appeal. Finally, a young’un like Åberg seeks to jump-start a more-than-tour-winner career with a major title. Many of the greats won them early, and the Swede from Texas Tech would love nothing more than a chance to join that company.

Sunday at Augusta, as always, will be riveting. It will provide hope throughout the first nine holes, then gut many a competitor’s heart coming home, rewarding just one with a new item for the wardrobe. Plan your menu and choose your outfit. Masters 2024 is about to conclude. Until then, let’s reveal five things that we learned on day three of the year’s first men’s major.

1. The three most critical holes on the first nine are …

numbers four through six. You might make some birdies at the first and last trios of holes, but the middle triumvirate of fairways and greens determines your day. Play them even par or better, and you’ll lose zero shots to the field. Get on a downward spiral of slightly-wayward shots, and recovery will be nigh impossible. Anyone who makes three at the fifth, as Tiger Woods did on Saturday, will get giddy.

2. The three most important holes on the second nine are …

ten through twelve. We realize that we commit heresy by omitting one of Herbert Warren Wind’s Amen Corner traces, but par or better is critical at 10. Dry landings at 11 and 12 set the competitor up for two par fives in three holes, sandwiched around a straightforward, par-four hole. Remember when Ben Crenshaw began his march to glory in 1995? It all started with birdie at the 10th.

3. The most interesting and efficient round of day three came from …

Collin Morikawa. Birdies at the first three holes, followed by bogey-birdie at six and eight, then ten consecutive pars to finish off the second-low round of the day. Morikawa has improved each day, from 71 to 70 to 69. He has won majors in England and California. He has the temperment for this sort of day, but will certainly be in the hottest of all cauldrons around 3 pm on Sunday.

4. The guy who lost the most ground on day three was …

Nikolai Hojgaard. The dude failed to make par from the seventh green to the 16th. After three consecutive birdies around the turn (8 through 10), the Great Dane tumbled to earth with five consecutive bogeys. 11 and 12, we understand, but 13 and 15 are par-five holes, for goodness sake! No matter where he finds himself on day four’s back nine, it will be hard to put that stretch of golf out of his mind.

5. Our pick for the green jacket is …

impossible to nail. We suspect that certain players should and could perform on Sunday. We remember when Retief Goosen, a great US Open winner until round four of 2005, lost his mojo. We recall days when Rich Beam and Y.E. Yang pulled major titles away from Tiger Woods. Things go wrong on Sunday, and they go wrong super-quick at Augusta.

We’ve decided to ascend Mount Olympus for our Sunday selection. Who better than the 2021 Olympic champion to add a long-awaited, first major title. It’s Professor X for us: Xander Schauffele.

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5 Things We Learned: Friday at the Masters

Published

22 hours ago

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Apr 13, 2024

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You don’t see leaves on the ground at Augusta National. The grounds crew and superintendent’s staff take care of those sorts of things, so that both course appearance and consistency of play are preserved at the top tier. We saw leaves on the ground today and, given the force and perseverance of the wind, we’re lucky that we didn’t see tree trunks along the fairways. We did see higher scores than secured in round one, and some of the three- and four-hole stretches were downright inconceivable. The cut after 36 holes came at six over par, and five dozen golfers reached the weekend of play. Numbers always define the story of a tournament, and we’ll let them define the five things we learned on day two of the 2024 Masters tournament.

One: 60 + 10

Sixty golfers posted scores of 148 or better through 36 holes, to reach weekend play. Ten more golfers posted 149 and missed the cut by a single stroke. The ones who missed the cut by a stroke included former champions Mike Weir, Zach Johnson, and Sergio Garcia. Also among the brood were current US Open champion Wyndham Clark, and Nick Dunlap, who won on the PGA Tour as an amateur in January, and subsequently turned professional. Of the ones who survived by the slimmest of margins, surviving to the weekend were former champions Jose Maria Olazabal, Hideki Matsuyama, and Adam Scott, along with Rickie Fowler and Tom Kim. Golf’s cut is a cruel and unconcerned blade, and each Masters tournament reminds us of this fact.

Two: One

The number of amateurs to make the cut in the 2024 Masters is solitary. His name is Neil Shipley, and most folks love him. He wears his hair to the shoulder, and appears to have the proper balance of intensity and chill. Shipley opened with 71, then held on for 76 on day two. He made the cut by three shots, and will collect his share of hardware on Sunday. It’s safe to say that Shipley will turn his attention to learning the course, as well as his own self under pressure.

Three: 23

For most sorts fans, 23 recalls the greatest NBA player of all time, Michael Jordan. For Justin Thomas, it’s a number that will haunt him for a long time. Thomas reached tee number fifteen on Friday at even par. The two-time PGA Champion played the subsequent, four-hole stretch in 23 shots, missing the cut by a shot. On fifteen, he went for the green in two, in some sort of halfhearted manner. He got wet with shot number two, went long with his pitch, and three-putted from the fringe. On sixteen, he played away from safety and found elevated sand. His blast went down the hill, and he missed his approach putt in the wrong place. On seventeen, he missed his drive right and his approach long, and lost another shot to par. The coup de grace took place on the home hole: drive so horribly left that he had to pitch out to the fairway and hit three metal into the green. His third double bogey in four holes dropped him all the way to 151 and plus seven. Among the many questions, the foremost one was why he dropped his longtime caddy on the eve of a major championship. Surely Bones would have saved him one of those shots, and perhaps more.

Four: Forty-Nine divided by five or six

Tiger Woods cannot possibly win title number six at Augusta in his 49th year, can he? Not on this broken body, and not from seven strokes behind, right? Not with so few competitive rounds over the most recent months, and not one year removed from a third-round withdrawal from this very tournament. Well, if he cannnot possibly win, allow us to dream and hope a bit, and hold on to a fantasy.

Five: 3 that we like

We like Scottie Scheffler, of course. He seems to have a sense of Augusta National, and he was able to hold on in 2023 for the championship. We like Nikolai Hojgaard, because he might have just the proper combination of naivete and experience for a first-time winner. Finally, we like Collin Morikawa, a winner of two separate major titles. Winning at Augusta National requires a certain amount of length, unless you putt lights out. Morikawa might be embedded in one of those putting weeks.

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5 things we learned: Thursday at the Masters

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2 days ago

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Apr 11, 2024

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The rains came early at Augusta, just as they did in Buffalo. The distinguishing factor was, they had a tournament to start in Augusta. Folks in Buffalo simply went to work, and paid attention to the clouds in north Georgia. By ten o’clock, the skies had cleared enough to begin play. Honorary tee shots were hit, and competitive play began. The delay assured that some of the afternoon groups would not sign scorecards on Thursday evening. Instead, they would rise early for completion of play, then turn right back around and go out for round two.

Round one was filled with the usual characteristics of major championship golf. A pair of golfers shot low rounds, with no guarantee that either would be able to preserve the blistering pace. Others gave shots inexplicably away, on the most confounding of holes, to push themselves away from the dream of the green jacket. Others played solid if unspectacular golf, to maintain the top of the board in sight. Finally, some held to a preserver for dear life, finding a way to stay within shouting distance of the leaders.

With that little bit of tease to lead us in, let’s get straight to the five things that we learned on Thursday at the Masters.

One: Can a horse be a horse for a course, for more than one round?

Both Bryson DeChambeau and Scottie Scheffler have plenty of successful memories ’round the Augusta National course. Scheffle owns the ultimate prize, the 2022 green jacket, while DeChambeau was low amateur in 2016. That’s where the similarities end, however. DeChambeau has never finished higher than that low-am T21, while Scheffler has never finished outside the top 20 in four starts. DeChambeau has had fits of brilliance over the MacKenzie hills, but Scheffler is the one with four-round history.

While it seems unlikely the DeChambeau will miss the cut for a third consecutive time, the question of his ability to put rounds together remains. On Thursday, DeChambeau notched eight birdies on the day, and stumbled for bogey just once, at the ninth hole. For much of the day, he held a multi-shot lead over former champion Danny Willett, until Scheffler finished fast, with birdies at 12, 13, 15, and 16. His 66 brought him within one shot of the leader. Scheffler went without a bogey on the day, and ensured that DeChambeau would have much to consider over the night’s sleep.

Two: Find a way to hang around

Rory McIlroy never looked like he had his best stuff on Thursday. Three bogeys on the day, including one at the gettable second hole, had him steaming. Unlike prior years, when his not-best stuff led to mid-70s numbers, Roars was able to four birdies along the way. His 71 won’t win any crystal, but it will keep him in the tournament. Does he need a 67 on Friday? Absolutely.

Will Zalatoris plays Augusta National as well as anyone. Eagles and birdies are always on the table for the young Texan. He reached four-under par at the 15th, but closed with two bogies for 70. Without the shot that you see below, he may never have found the mojo needed to reach minus-four. Moral of the story: find a way to get in the house with a number.

Three: When you do things like this, find a way to keep it together!

The leaders’ board was filled with golfers like Ryan Fox (five-under through 12, inexplicable bogey at 13, finished minus-three), Erik Van Rooyen (minus-four through 13, only to close with three bogeys to finish one deep) Viktor Hovland (four below through nine, double at ten, one below at day’s end) and Matt Fitzpatrick (four deep through 13, three bogeys coming home.) What keeps these golfers from going deeper under par, or at least preserving their successful stature? It’s usually greed or the razor’s edge. There are too-safe places on the greens of Augusta, but there are always properly-safe areas, from where a two-putt is a probablility. In the case of most of these golfers, they either went at flags and short-sided themselves (leading to bogey) or tried to preserve their position, and landed in the three-putt zone.

Four: How could you do this?

Rickie Fowler  at 76, alongside Hideki Matsuyama. Guys, there were plenty of birdies out there! How could you manage to avoid them, and instead, stockpile the bogeys? Well, at least Hideki has a green jacket already, and at least Rickie has some crystal from Wednesday. Odds are that one of them will post 68 on Friday and make the cut.

Five: Which golfers do we hope to see finish strong?

With plenty of round-one action left for Friday morning, we’ve scanned the board and determined that Nicolai Højgaard looks pretty good at five-under through fifteen. We’ll take three pars. We expect one birdie. We’d love to see two or three birdies coming home. Yup, we’re greedy!

Max Homa bounced back from bogey at 12 with birdie at 13, to get back to four under par. We have the same expectations for the California kid: lots of birdies coming home. We have our eyes on a couple of guys at minus-one, and then there’s Tyrrell Hatton at three-deep, along with Ludvig Åberg at minus-two. Plenty of golf left for first-round positioning. Set your alarm for early and don’t miss a single shot!

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