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A golfing memoir in monthly tokens: April, May

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As some might say, if you don’t take the plunge, you can’t taste the brine. Others might not say such a thing. I’m taking the plunge, because I want to taste the brine. Here you’ll find the fourth installment of “A Golfing Memoir” as we trace a year in the life of Flip Hedgebow, itinerant teacher of golf. For January, click here. For February, click here. For March, click here.

‘Cause I would walk 500 …

No.

Roam if you …

No.

You’ve got a fast car…

Closer.

The drive from that part of Florida to pretty-rural, upstate New York, crossed a lot of station boundaries. Flip Hedgebow alternated between song lists he’d saved on that app, to the old-school radio embedded in the dashboard of the car, and back once again. Some days, he’d drive and sleep at night. Other times, he’d reverse the play, in order to confuse fate. Life hadn’t been a straight line for him. So, he reasoned, neither should a seminal trip from one end to the other.

cirE “Flip” Hedgebow hadn’t controlled much for a fair portion of life, so when his turn came to take the wheel and guide the nose, he did it for all that he could. Before leaving the sunshone state, the pro searched the in-between for esoteria, places he couldn’t imagine wanting to see, that might equal parts enliven and delay his journey to his summer home. In the clarity of the rear-view mirror where, you know, objects may appear … they were places he could not imagine having missed in his earthly stay.

Every flash of crimson along the route reminded him of her. Of Agnes Porter. Or what her real … hold off a moment. It’ll come. Of Agnes Porter the younger. She had taken a series of lessons with him as the moon of his time in Florida waned. Her motivation for the instruction was unclear, but the money spent well, and the time spent was much more than unpleasurable. It would be Hollywood-romantic to suggest that epiphanies arrived after their meetings, that clarity emanated from their encounters, but this wasn’t Hollywood and, as far as Flip could tell, it wasn’t romantic. Men are always slower and duller to the task.

Her golf swing was athletic from the get-go. Equal parts sport training and anger, the hands, arms, hips and shoulders moved in proper sequence, cadence, and space. It might have been a hockey club or a baseball bat that settled these early lessons for her, or martial arts, or something else. Who knew? He didn’t. And didn’t ask. Time served on the lesson tee had informed him that necessary information was always volunteered; never chased.

They had sat on tee chairs after lessons, discussing the swing and the grandeur of the game. Once, they had moved their conversation to the club patio, but had not advanced beyond dialogue. No dining, no drinks. Agnes the younger had revealed that her grandmother’s name was not Agnes Porter; it was an identifier that she had chosen while emigrating to the shores of the USA. Such a common thing, to leave your nomenclature behind in your original language, to embrace the sounds of the adopted soil. That had been decades before, when the elder was the younger, and the younger, not even.

A thoughtful observer would have identified more than an instructional connection between the two. It was certainly Agnes Porter’s intention to move the interaction farther along. Flip Hedgebow, whose percentages of jaded, obtuse, distracted, and torpid added to full capacity, had an extra percentage point left over, that suggested to him that something more might be present, and that he didn’t wish to risk its departure. He would wait for that information, as he did so often on the lesson tee.

“Perhaps I’ll see you upstate. Grandmother Agnes always finds her way back north during the summer months, and I always find my way to her. I love my mother, but I have this connection with the prior generation. Sometimes that happens.”

Five words, including a contraction. The remainder of the utterance, like mist over the morning river. Was there a difference between maybe and perhaps? From his perspective, there certainly was. And thus did Flip Hedgebow ruminate for hundreds of miles, into the thousands, on what might be. He knew what certainly would be: a new balance sheet, different bosses, a clientele for whom the word posh was more likely a curse or an insult, and less probably a tenet or commandment. He liked the contrast between his two places of employment. It preserved the balance, and allowed him to move through life with equilibrium and harmony.

It had allowed him to move through life thus. As he said good-bye to young Agnes on the eve of his departure from the Swelter (nee Sunshine) state, she leaned in closer and left him with six complicated words, one a contraction: Agnes Porter isn’t my name, either.

May

The omnipresent creek at the base of the foothill had impacted the founder of the small, unique resort in upstate New York. Upstate was the best place to identify where Klifzota sat. It wasn’t truly western, but it wasn’t southern tier, nor central. It was away out there, where the osadnik from Polonia had found his slice of idyllic country living. His family had farmed the land for a few generations, before an enterprising daughter had turned barn and family home into a retreat for the city folk from western New York’s two main cities. Not all city folk, understand?

Klifzota’s foothill was neither tall nor wide enough to feature downhill skiing, as found farther south and west. Landing on the series of avenues that her ancestors used to move heavy equipment around the property, she established a series of footpaths and walkways for contemplation and less-vertical exercise. In the winter, out came the snowshoes and other devices, fit to traverse what would eventually be groomed trails. Eschewing romance for hard work and the family name, she nonetheless could not step out of its path. It arrived one day in the guise of a forty-something man with two children. His name translated from German as avoid the farmer, which suited her just fine. He was unattached, she was smitten, and the newly-blended family now a momentous decision: what to do with the meadow.

Growing up on a country farm, she understood the worth of all things natural, and the eternal harm that would come from disruption. There were two areas of the farm where things had caused this irreversible harm, and she would permit no others. In the end, the family settled on golf. The game and the course they built preserved the harmony of the corridors. The equipment shed replaced the cattle barn, and a small lodge with some touches grew up adjacent to the country home that they expanded into their operations center. They purchased a few homes along the perimeter of the property, in anticipation of the needs of future generations of family, and guests. It was in one of these that cirE “Flip” Hedgebow took up residence each April. He remained there annually until the course closed, just after harvest season ended and Halloween beckoned. Then, he would don his southern costume and resume the guise of Florida Man. That would be then, though; this was soon to be now. What else would be now, he wondered.

Unlike Florida, Flip’s duties seldom included lessons. Klifzota was a public-access course, where the regulars came to the game after playing some other sport. Many were baseball devotees, and they learned to tilt at the hips and change the plane of their swing. Others were hockey aficionados, with powerful legs and super-charged swings. They alone had compelled the owners to continually assess the proper width of the fairways, given the lateral nature of their shot patterns. When Canadians discovered Klifzota, the hockey influence approached something primordial.

Flip kept a golf cart at his house on the hill. The course sat in a bit of a valley, between the large, eastern hill and the shallower, western one. The house rested on the western hill, adjacent to the other properties owned by the descendants of the original osadnik. It was efficient, and that was all Flip needed. He was rarely there. His shift began at six each morning, when the dewsweepers would arrive for their breakfast nine. Sometimes they played 18; most days, they regretted that decisions, swearing a full round off for a time. Carts were brought from the cattle barn across the road, floors were swept, coffee was brewed, and the till was tended. Flip ate his own first meal in his office, just off the counter. By noon, there was usually enough of a break in the action for him to catch some sleep. If he was super-tired, he would grab a key for one of the unoccupied rooms in the motel and sneak away there, while his assistant tended to affairs. Super-tired was code for hung over, which was at times a necessary result of duty.

Klifzota wasn’t a summer camp, but at times, it felt like one, with Flip cast as the head counselor. After his lunch and nap, he would tend to the local leagues during the weekday afternoons, ensuring that their times were posted, their bets recorded and monies collected, and their results tabulated and posted. This brought him to supper, when the action truly commenced. Each evening, Flip gathered his fill of local news (chatter in the dining room and bar area) and worldwide affairs (the screen in the bar), and ate and drank with the league golfers and overnight groups. The locals had adopted Flip as their own; he was able to approximate their values system and, in truth, it was much closer to his own than the one he feigned in Florida each winter. It was this other, this affected persona, that allowed him to interact seamlessly with the golf groups that arrived throughout the season. No matter their place of origin, their values system, he was able to decode their language, mannerisms, and hierarchies, and insinuate himself in, temporarily. Like all travelers in a strange place, the guests needed an anchor, and Flip was that anchor. If they returned annually, they were no longer travelers, but distant kin.

It was these foothills that brought cirE Hedgebow closer to that other “F” word that he had successfully kept at arm’s length since he struck out on his own: family. Down south, he was hired help and he knew it. Florida could be a transient state, especially for someone in the golf industry. Up north, where life became more traditional americana, it wasn’t quite Rockwell, but only because old Norman never made it over to Wyoming county. That daughter who married the farmer-hater? Their children married and had children of their own, and they all stayed to develop the resort. Little squabbling among them meant a lot of cooperation and much advancement and success for Klifzota. This jaded-in-a-positive-way ambience gave Flip a family to which to belong, to which he owed nothing, but to which he would gladly give everything.

As May crept toward Memorial Day weekend, an email arrived in his inbox, that would set the summer’s events into motion. Try as he might to control things, when Agnes Porter the younger, or whoever she truly was, entered his life, his deft command of the wheel loosened and weakened. Her plans to visit had transitioned from casual toss to anticipate arrival. Sometime in June, she wrote, more early than late. She would be down east for Memorial Day, and would follow the sun in the days that followed. The count of the clock would divulge the impact of her reappearance on his story.

Artwork by JaeB

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Ronald Montesano writes for GolfWRX.com from western New York. He dabbles in coaching golf and teaching Spanish, in addition to scribbling columns on all aspects of golf, from apparel to architecture, from equipment to travel. Follow Ronald on Twitter at @buffalogolfer.

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5 things we learned Saturday at the U.S. Open

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The U.S. Open reminds me at times of this monologue from Maurice Moss at the infamous The IT Crowd soccer match

Sure, Roy says a few things, but it’s really Moss who carries the scene. Some people get/like U.S. Open golf, and some do not. There’s usually little movement on the leaderboard unless someone makes a passel of bogeys and doubles. For the third consecutive round at Torrey Pines, 67 earned low daily honors. That’s just four strokes below par, so the birdie fanatics had little to cheer (like Moss.) In fact, sometimes, it’s hard to determine just who is winning, and who isn’t.

Well, that’s not exactly true. We know that this year’s Cinderella, Richard Bland, isn’t winning. Blandy ran out of gas on the back nine, making five bogies for 41 and 77 and tied for 21st. With that written, plenty of stories remain, and we’ve tracked down five five that you’ll agree are worthy of a spot in Five Things We Learned on day three of the US Open.

1. Spuds Mackenzie has a share of the lead

At least in Ontario, Poutine is a popular treat when you have the munchies. That’s our spuds reference, although Canada’s Mackenzie Hughes does share the grit of the bull terrier that hawked Budweiser back in the day. Hughes’ long game afforded him plenty of opportunities to chip away at par, and he made the most of them. His two hiccups came on the outward half, at the fourth and ninth holes. Approach shots went astray, and his chipping game failed to get him close enough for par saves. On the inward half, Hughes was brilliant. Two birdies and an eagle earned him a 32 and a minus-five total after three rounds. As he finished earliest at that number, Hughes was assured of a spot in Sunday’s final twosome, no matter what the chasers did.

2. Louis, Louis

No, not the song. This makes twice that the 2010 Open winner and champion golfer of the year has challenged into the final round of a 2021 major. The PGA didn’t end so well for him, if we’re talking victories. Let’s remember that, if not for Bubba’s wedge silliness, Oosthuizen might have a green jacket to wear while drinking from his claret jug. As things stand, Oosthuizen’s minus-five total has him even with Hughes and paired in the final twosome. Things will be different from his last-group match last month with Phil Mickelson. Let’s say that Hughes won’t have the fanatical following that Oosthuizen’s last partner had. Oh, did we mention how Louis finished off the day?

3. Rory and Bryson

No, they won’t play together. Rory gets Russell Henley in penultimate pairing, while Bryson tees it up with Scottie Schefler in the third-last pairing. Rory and Bryson do represent opposite sides of a conundrum: chase distance or don’t? Rory has been open about the toll that chasing yards put on his game, and he has spent the past year rediscovering much of his game that was lost. Torrey represents his first true chance to determine the worth of his quest. In contrast, Bryson is unabashed in his pursuit of distance, and has demonstrated that his method can have positive results. Rory reached minus-three on the strength of a four-under 67 on Saturday. He managed the front in one-under, then came alive on the inward half to match Paul Casey for day’s low round. Bryson had no bogies on his card on Saturday, and has an enviable, downward trend (73-69-68) in his scoring. I’ll say this: if he goes lower than 68 on Sunday, he keeps the trophy.

4. Rahm, DJ, and the Wolff

Jon Rahm got hosed by the 14th hole today. Sort of. He played carefully out of fairway sand, clanked the flag stick with his recovery, then got too aggressive with his par try. Other than that, he has more momentum going into Sunday. I say, forget caution; chase birdies. On egin!

Dustin Johnson is in a similar position. Come to think of it, so is Matthew Wolff. They are all within 4 shots of the lead, and there is no suggestion that any of the minus-5 guys will go any lower than 2 under on Sunday, to reach 7 under. Thus, what do these lads chase? Do they go for 66 and hope that it will be enough? I think so. It’s lower than any other round this week, but by one slim stroke. I’m hoping that the USGA will give us enough tempting hole locations to reward brave play. That would be a nice send-off for Mike Davis in his final U.S. Open as executive director and CEO.

5. Who do we like?

No one mentioned just yet. He first qualified for the U.S. Open in 2016, and one year later, earned low amateur honors. Slowly but surely, he has worked his way into contention in major events, tying for 4th and 8th in the last two PGA Championships. He has yet to win on the PGA Tour, but I say that he makes the 2021 U.S. Open his first tour win and his first major title. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Scottie Schefler, your 2021 Gorham Company trophy winner.

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5 things we learned Friday at the U.S. Open

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Some golfers played 24 holes on Friday to ensure that the woodsman’s axe would fall and the 36-hole cut would take place on schedule. Louis Oosthuizen closed out his opening 67 with three pars, joining Russell Henley atop the leaderboard. Sebastian Muñoz wasn’t so fortunate. He made double at the par-5 ninth to drop to even on the round then ballooned to a 77 to miss the cut by two. So cruel, this game. For every Muñoz, however, there is an Akshay Bhatia. Let’s enjoy his clutch performance at the last, and count the five things that we learned on Friday at the U.S. Open.

1. Bland on the run

Check my Twitter feed. At 2:10 pm, EST on this Friday of U.S. Open 2021, I indicated to @acaseofthegolf1 that I would utilize Bland on the run rather than the trite Anything but bland, in honor of Sir Paul McCartney’s recent birthday. There you go. What’s that? Who is Richard Bland? He’s an English bloke, a man who amassed seven birdies against three bogeys on day two and jumped to 6 under par for a time. He made bogey at his penultimate hole, else he would be at minus 6 on the week. Bland won his first European Tour event last month after years of attempts. He came close in 2002 at the Irish Open, where he lost in a playoff. Since then, it’s been grind, grind, grind. He cannot possibly win this thing, given that better Brits like Monty, Poulty, Westy, Casey, and Lukey have not. Rosey did win it, however, so maybe Blandy can do so, after all. What’s he got to lose?

2. Speaking of guys we haven’t seen in a minute…

That two-time Masters champion, Bubba Watson, matched Bland’s 67  with an eagle at the 18th. He moved into fourth place, two behind Bland. That Louis Oosthuizen got up early (see lede) to finish round one, struggled a bit through round two, but rallied through the hangover, and birdied two holes down the stretch to finish at even on the day, one back of Bland. That Jon Rahm played more solid, post-COVID-19 golf, posting 70 for minus 3. Rahm lowered his bogey total from three to two on day two, and that’s the key to winning U.S. Open championships. And one more? How about first-round, co-leader Russell Henley, also known as second-round co-leader Russell Henley? He followed his 67 with 70, led for his own minute, and will tee off in the final pairing with Richard Bland.

3. Calling mid-60s round

Six rounds of 67 have been posted, followed by five more at 68. Yes, this is the U.S. Open, but these are the world’s best golfers, on a course that they know very well. Someone will find a way to reach 65 today, mark my words. That 6-under round will do someone a lot of good, but it won’t win the tournament. Nothing wins the tournament on Saturday.

What will allow that magical round to happen? In the first place, the golfer will drive the ball in play on all three long holes, and will not err laterally with his second. Birdies or better on all three par-5 holes will be necessary to offset the occasional bogey on Torrey Pines’ long-for-your-and-me par 4s. By shooting that number on Saturday, the lead pack after 54 holes will know that it can be done, and will chase the same number down on Sunday.

4. Right brain, meet left brain

I cannot move farther without recognizing the two sides of Matthew Wolff. On Thursday, the young Californian painted his scorecard like a creative kindergartner. He amassed eight birdies and countered them with three bogeys and two doubles. On Friday, Wolff played nothing like that foundling. His game was controlled, his numbers were almost boring, but he improved by two shots to 68 and a tie for third, at 4 under par. The Oklahoma State product isn’t driving the ball that well, but he is finding his way to the putting surface. A 43 percent fairways-hit statistic is countered by a nearly incomprehensible 75 percent greens in regulation that ranks him first. The only way to explain his rise is that blend of confidence and arrogance that successful golfers have. Wolff tees off in the penultimate grouping with the resurgent Oosthuizen, who looks to improve upon last year’s T3 at Winged Foot, and last month’s T2 at Kiawah.

5. Saturday’s fun pairing

I cannot resist the third-last pairing of Bubba Watson and Jon Rahm. Gerry Lester Watson tied for 18th at the 2009 U.S. Open, his best career finish in this event. Since then, even as he won two Masters and established himself in the upper echelon of the game’s talent, the US Open became an enigma. Not hard to imagine why; the long lefthander adds a mercurial temperament that doesn’t square with a USGA set-up. Torrey is different, and Watson has a long-ago triumph here, over Phil Mickelson of all golfers, in his memory bank. Watson makes birdies, including five in his final seven holes on Friday. He’ll need to churn out another half-dozen on Saturday and Sunday each, to take a run at a coveted, second unique major title. No one knows what goes on in Bubba’s mind, least of all Bubba. That’s when he plays his best.

Paired with him is the game’s great in waiting, Jon Rahm. Much has been written of his unfortunate disqualification from the Memorial, and in truth, a parkland course in middle America has no bearing on the next 48 hours. Rahm has shed the mentors and is his own man. What type of champion will he become? El gran Vasco has eight birdies and five bogies over the first 36 holes, and has kept the ball mostly in play through the green. His long-game numbers are fine, but it’s the way he rolls the ball that has kept him in the game. Is that a great recipe for a brush with immortality? Probably not, unless he keeps it up. Saturday will show us the depth of Rahm’s mental fortitude.

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5 things we learned Thursday at the U.S. Open

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Should we have anticipated a fog delay at Torrey Pines? Yes. That’s the kind of thing that happens along the California coast. Should we have anticipated a scorecard like the one that Matthew Wolff turned in? Not in our wildest, sleep-deprived hallucinations. Our guy had five pars out of 18 holes and shot 70. Two of those pars came on his final pair of holes, so through 16 greens, Wolff had eight birdies, three bogey, two doubles … and three pars. There were other odd rounds on the day, but none that ended as well as did that of George Gankas’ star pupil. 36 players were stranded on course overnight and will finish in the morning. Have a look at the five things we learned on Thursday at Torrey Pines.

1. Guys we absolutely should have seen in contention after day one

Start with Koepka. Two-time winner of the U.S. Open, plus mental and physical giant, plus eternal chip on his shoulder, adds up to constant challenge in major events. Brooks reached 4 under par through 11 holes, after his birdie at the second hole. Along with Collin Morikawa and Justin Thomas, the Tallahassee Titan began his day on the inward half. Torrey Pines bit him on the very next hole, and again at the seventh, and he finished his day at 2 under.

Xander Schauffele is one of those guys who would have won a major title (say I) had 2020 been a normal sort of year. He was on a roll, and the venues suited his game quite well. Two bogeys and four pars on the day gave him 69 on the day, even with Koepka. Most important takeaway from today? All of his birdies came on the inward half. Comfort on the back nine during Sunday’s home stretch would be everyone’s first request.

Tyrrell Hatton is entertaining. His clench-jawed, self-immolating method of conquering a golf course is not one that I recommend that you emulate, yet I can’t help smile each time he directs a debilitating comment at his own visage. He seems to possess that essence that might take him to the top of a major one day. Dude is thick and plays without fear. He had four birdies on the day and waits in the shadows for his opportunity.

2. Guys we absolutely did not expect to be in contention after day one

The law firm of Molinari and Molinari. If hit with the question Which Molinari has a USGA title? at trivia tonight…or tomorrow…or Saturday, go with Edoardo. Two years ago, we would have expected Francesco to be in the thick of things. Now, not so much. Francesco notched five birdies on the day and escaped with a pair of bogeys in his 68. Brother Edoardo, the 2005 U.S. Amateur titleist at Merion, eclipsed younger brother Francesco in the birdie department (six on the day) but had a rough patch of plus-4 from holes 2-6 at the beginning of his round. When you can do this, however, you can erase bogey!

One actual co-leader, Russell Henley, is one of the tour’s most accurate putters. On Thursday, he toured Torrey in 27 putts, which will win the day quite often. Henley hit 8 of 14 driving fairways but found his way onto 13 greens in regulation. That approach won’t play all week, unless the putter remains white hot.

The other actual co-leader, Louis Oosthuizen, gave chase to Phil Mickelson last month at the PGA Championship on Kiawah Island. Did we anticipate a return challenge from the 2010 Open Champion at St. Andrews? Absolutely not. That, dear reader, is precisely why he is challenging. Oosthuizen’s stature demands that he play a straight-arrow game, and Torrey Pines rewards that approach this week.

3. Guys whose rotten play blew our minds on day one

Webb Simpson was 6 over par when he reached the 10th tee. Then, things got worse. He added a bogey and a double before marking down the day’s only birdie, at 18. Unless there’s a mid-60s round in the offing, Webb’s stay in San Diego will be brief.

Kevin Na might be the best player in history to have absolutely no game for major championships. Na has two token top-10 finishes in 40 career biggie starts. Other than a seventh-place finish at Oakmont in 2016, his U.S. Open record is forgettable. After an opening 77, add 2021 to the flop list.

Justin Rose won the 2019 Farmers at Torrey Pines. What that tells us: he has a nice track record when the course plays like a PGA Tour event. What that does not tell us: how he fares when the USGA takes control of cut lines, green firmness, and putting surface speeds. As far as weird rounds go, have a look at his: par par par bogey bogey bogey par par par bogey bogey bogey par par par. In hindsight, do you think he would eschew the money he was paid in 2014 to jump ship to bad clubs, after his seminal U.S. Open win? Yup. Yup. Yup.

4. Guys we are THRILLED to have in contention

Rafael Cabrera Bello, aka the beautiful goatherd, has long been one of those golfers who should have more wins than his record belies. RCB might have had the day’s only clean card. Birdie at the 2nd, eagle at the 18th, see you on Friday! The Canariano finished top-25 at Winged Foot last September, and perhaps looks to add an even better finish in 2021, thanks to an opening 68.

Keep it Spanish with El Vasco, Jon Rahm. A victim of Covid two weeks ago at The Memorial, Rahm is in town with unfinished business. Knowing well that he cannot bull his way around a U.S. Open track, Rahm has chosen a more elegant method, and it is paying dividends. After a helter-skelter front nine of birdies, bogeys, and just two pars, Rahmbo settled down on the inward half and finished his round at -2.

5. Guys we see hoisting the trophy on Sunday

Unlike Winged Foot last fall, there are no angles that allow for bomb and wedge play at Torrey Pines. Ultimately, the new prototype for a U.S. Open course will be more Torrey than Golden Age. Length doesn’t matter this year. What wins on Sunday is the golf equivalent of the decathalete. Blend all the skill sets for 96 hours, and you depart with the art. With that image seared into your mind, here are three chaps with a chance.

Hideki

Matsuyama showed us in April that he has the major disposition. If the putter stays warm, the pride of Japan will be halfway to a 2021 grand slam with his second major title.

Matt

Fitzpatrick won a U.S. Amateur the same year that Rose won the Open at Merion. Fitzy is trending upward the last few weeks, and Father’s Day might be the one for him to honor his pops with a major professional title.

Lee

As much as we love a rising-star story, we long for a fading-star comeback. Westy was oh-so-close in 2008, the year of the broken tiger. He has zero major professional titles on his family crest, so does he break through in 2021? I’m not the one to say no.

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