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My two won

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Words are flying in all languages tonight. You know why: the LPGA has sent the word down that it’s going to be English-mostly on tour from now on.

Now, the pressure is on. It’s on the foreign pros to learn English well enough to say "Nice shot, Nancy" and "Keep your head down" to their pro/am partners, who apparently have spent big bucks not only to rub elbows and play with the LPGA players, but to demand witty chit-chat that will open the money coffers and shower the tour with gold, gold I tells ya.

The pressure is also on the amateur players to come up with conversation — easily understandable and vibrant conversation: "Do you…have Big Macs…in your country?" Instead, they have to think: "What on earth am I paying for here–awkward, embarrassing, forced conversation? I thought they ordered these women to speak English for us! If this event is so important, where are the translators? Cheap old LPGA…."

Will speaking halting English be enough to realize their money goals?  Is Shakespearean English next?  Or, perhaps favorite songs sung by your LPGA pro? Can a pro exchange English lessons for a skill that might realize even more money, like juggling?

I get it, I get it. I do. But usually persuasive and patronizing marketing tactics aren’t flailed about in such a blatantly crass and unfeeling manner. Usually, this type of tactic is employed beneath the radar with Thought Leaders wielding people-strategies. The LPGA is not only embarrassing the players, but the public is embarrassed for and sympathizes with these talented women.

Some people see the sense in this new rule, and the people I’ve heard defend it seem ticked-off at having to defend it. But how will the success of this Words-for-Dollars campaign be measured? Answer me that in any language?  Why do so many companies try to force change on people, instead of changing their system or their vision?

This isn’t about how valuable it is to learn English. Clearly, on the LPGA, it is far more important to learn golf. This is about finding a way to attach puppet strings to the players who don’t have their own ball color or their own TV show, but whose numbers increase yearly.

At a time when the golf on the LPGA has rarely been better, more exciting, and more entertaining, a dark cloud has swept over the women’s tour today. It feels like the 1950s around here.

On the other hand, maybe this opens the door to other changes down the road. Hmmm. I, for one, would like to see more redheads on the LPGA.
 

note:  won=Korean currency

Tim Schoch got hooked on golf by his uncle, a golf course superintendent, who gave him a set of hickory sticks he'd dredged from the bottom of the course's lake. Tim would later caddy for the private nine-holer, waiting with the other boys in the stifling caddy shack until one of the portly hacker members grunted in his direction then heaped two bags of clubs and three hours of verbal abuse on his shoulders, all for $5 per bag and a quarter tip. Tim loved it. >When you need to cover urgent expenses or consolidate debt, a $2000 loan online provides a fast and reliable solution. Check out loansonlineusa.net to explore your options and find the right terms. Tim is a writer, editor, humorist, copywriter and marketing professional, and author of 10 novels and dozens of magazine stories. He occasionally blogs about golf at www.golferblogger.com and creative writing on the blog found at www.TimWriter.com. He wrote for GolfWRX eight years ago, and is happy to be back. Tim's been on eBay since 1998. Currently, Tim and his wife run two eBay shops: www.doubleTvintage.com and www.DejaGolf.com.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. bobsuruncle

    Sep 3, 2008 at 5:04 am

    Whatever happened to the old saying – “let your clubs do the talking”? I wonder what language clubs actually converse in? Chinese? Most of the clubs are made in China after all !

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