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To Manage Your Emotions Is To Perpetuate Them

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You have heard the advice of keep your head up, and keep a positive body language, and force a smile on your face, and keep a cool head.

You have also heard of managing your emotions.

You have certainly known managers in your life. How well-liked are they? How efficient are they? You have heard of world-class businessmen. World-class athletes. World-class CEOs. World-class artists.

Have you ever heard of a world-class manager? World-class managers live within the theories of academia. For managing anything leads to a manipulation of it. And that which is manipulated gets taken away from its natural source.

What if it were up to you to manage your heartbeat? Would you still be alive?

What if it were up to you to manage your respiration? Would you still be breathing? What if it were up to you to manage your digestion? Would you be appropriately nourished? What if it were up to you to manage your brain activity? Would you still be intelligent?

Think of all the things that are NOT up to you. The things that happen of their own accord. Are they not wonderfully efficient in their self-managed state? Unmanaged by you?

Now think of all the things that are up to you. Things that you directly control and manipulate and regulate and MANAGE. Your relationships, your decisions, your strategies, your financial choices, your parenting methods, your attempts at happiness, your attempts at success, and so on. How does their efficiency compare to that which goes unmanaged in your life?

There is an enormous amount of appreciation for the fact that some athletes, though they may be writhing in emotional discontent on the inside, are able to present an acceptable face on the outside. They are able to demonstrate a semblance of keeping it together. In fact, this is actually being taught to athletes. That no matter how you feel on the inside, just don’t let it show on the outside.

If an athlete is feeling it on the inside, he might as well let it show on the outside. For in letting it show, he will let it go. Let him break every club in his bag. Let him throw his caddie into the lake. Let him scream at his coach.

The effects upon the athlete’s performance are a function of what he feels on the INSIDE, regardless of whether he CHOOSES to manifest it on the outside.

When an athlete is playing his best, is it because he manufactures a calm face on the outside, or is it because he feels calm on the inside? Is it because he keeps it together, or is it because he is together?

The INSIDE is the only side that matters. The inside is what the athlete reacts to. The inside determines how he performs.

Dealing with emotions or managing emotions is to settle in for a life-long fight. Because you will not have addressed the source of the emotional turmoil, you will be doomed by it forever.

In understanding one’s mind, one understands the seat of emotional strife. He begins to unravel the maze of complexity that has been his life for decades.

In the work I do, I choose not to add things to human beings, but to subtract things from them. Subtract that which they have accumulated in their endless attempts at fixing and concealing and dealing and managing.

In this way, I can have the professional athlete return to his fundamental state. Like when he was a child, and all that was done was done naturally.

When there was no need to manage anything. When anything that came, left just as easily.

That which is managed is perpetuated. That which is managed gets destroyed.

When one’s conflicts and inner struggles are explored and examined, they begin to disintegrate.

When they are managed and manipulated, they grow roots within the human being.

Is it not time to unravel and dismantle the very force that has been managing YOU for so many years?

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Dr. Gupta is the founder of Siddha Performance, a company that teaches human beings to transcend their own mind in order to access the source of superhuman performance. Dr. Gupta has devoted close to 30 years of his life developing understandings and techniques that allow human beings to transcend the mind. Through his analysis and experimentation he has discovered that ultimate freedom and ultimate performance arise NOT from within the mind, but beyond it. Dr. Gupta can be contacted directly at [email protected] His work and his writings can be found at http://www.siddhaperformance.com/ He also appears weekly on PGA Tour's "On the Mark" radio show with Mark Immelman.

15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. Progolfer

    Mar 10, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    I completely agree with everything Dr. Gupta has written on this site. He essentially advocates playing this sport for the pure love and joy of it (and also, living this life for the pure love and joy of it as well). I believe this article deals with negative emotions, and in assuming that, he’s 100% correct. Attempting to change the outside without changing the inside is futile.

  2. Marc

    Mar 10, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga glunga… gunga, gunga galunga. It fits the tripe you write with every article. Please do us all a favor… go back to spending all of your valuable time with high profile clients and don’t waste it on us that don’t get it. Please!

  3. farmer

    Mar 10, 2015 at 11:17 am

    What this guy seems to be saying is that it is acceptable, even desirable, for a player to throw a tantrum on the golf course when he gets mad. Try that when you get pulled over for speeding. Pseudo Eastern mysticism, pop physcology gone bad.

    • BD57

      Mar 10, 2015 at 5:42 pm

      No, what he’s saying is (1) performance depends on how you deal with your emotions, not on whether others can discern what emotions you’re experiencing based on your behavior, and (2) right now, we’re teaching people to put on a pretty face when they’re upset, rather than teaching them how to deal with being upset.

  4. Neige

    Mar 9, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    In North America people like cool demeanor. After living here for almost 20 years I like it, too. However, it’s refreshing to watch people who are very natural. A lot of people are like zombies it seems – managing their reactions too much.

  5. Ben

    Mar 9, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    What we’re really talking about here is emotional intelligence. I wrote a paper about this in college. It’s not about hiding, masking or covering up your emotions rather changing how you interpret outside influences and being mindful of your reaction. Once you are aware of emotional triggers you can choose how you react perhaps by altering your perspective.

  6. Marknado

    Mar 7, 2015 at 11:30 am

    Outbursts like throwing clubs and cursing lowers stress level but anger lowers iq ….
    It’s a catch 22
    I’d say stay calm and address the problem and try to solve it but when all else fails
    Whatever feels good at the time, do it

  7. shimmy

    Mar 7, 2015 at 11:25 am

    I don’t know about your kid(s)…

    with mine things come naturally, but the ONLY way they leave is when his emotions are managed, whether that be through my acceptance of what he’s going through or his getting worn out from learning that whining won’t get him anything.

    WRX, why are you posting articles by these under-qualified performance gurus?

  8. Martin

    Mar 7, 2015 at 8:46 am

    Stupid article, I am a hothead by nature.

    As I have matured, I have learned to manage my emotions in my personal life, work life and on the Golf course and I am better at all three for it.

    The stupid part of the article is without learning to manage them on the inside, you can’t control them on the outside.

    Why is this posted on a golf website at all.

    • Marknado

      Mar 7, 2015 at 11:25 am

      what happens when the wife burns supper

      • Martin

        Mar 7, 2015 at 9:12 pm

        Nothing, I do all the cooking.

        I am a Hothead by nature, but long ago stopped actually being one.

        It’s called maturity…grin

  9. SRSLY

    Mar 7, 2015 at 7:29 am

    Ignore my previous comment, answered my own questions by visiting this guys site. He mentions disagreeing with modern psychology.

    So I’m guessing your MD isn’t in psychology? The only doctor I could find online with your name is a gastroenterologist.

    Care to share some truths?

  10. SRSLY

    Mar 7, 2015 at 7:20 am

    Couple questions:

    1. Has forcing a smile or laugh not been scientifically proven to improve mood? Why wouldn’t forcing a calm demeanor?

    2. How can you honestly suggest breaking clubs and throwing a tantrum in a game of honor and respect?

    3. Do your statements have any scientific backing in the field of psychology? Or are we simply taking “normal” psychology and jazzing it up with buzzwords to sell it to the field of golf athletes?

    4. One of these questions is rhetorical. See if you can figure out which one?

    • shimmy

      Mar 7, 2015 at 11:25 am

      This may be the perfect reply to this article.

  11. J

    Mar 6, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    Bah, more of the same statements. Your articles all have the same smell. Good or bad it’s up to each person to decide, but it’s all the same to me.

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Instruction

Clement: Laid-off or perfect fade? Across-the-line or perfect draw?

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Some call the image on the left laid off, but if you are hitting a fade, this could be a perfect backswing for it! Same for across the line for a draw! Stop racking your brain with perceived mistakes and simply match backswing to shot shape!

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The Wedge Guy: The easiest-to-learn golf basic

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My golf learning began with this simple fact – if you don’t have a fundamentally sound hold on the golf club, it is practically impossible for your body to execute a fundamentally sound golf swing. I’m still a big believer that the golf swing is much easier to execute if you begin with the proper hold on the club.

As you might imagine, I come into contact with hundreds of golfers of all skill levels. And it is very rare to see a good player with a bad hold on the golf club. There are some exceptions, for sure, but they are very few and very far between, and they typically have beat so many balls with their poor grip that they’ve found a way to work around it.

The reality of biophysics is that the body moves only in certain ways – and the particulars of the way you hold the golf club can totally prevent a sound swing motion that allows the club to release properly through the impact zone. The wonderful thing is that anyone can learn how to put a fundamentally sound hold on the golf club, and you can practice it anywhere your hands are not otherwise engaged, like watching TV or just sitting and relaxing.

Whether you prefer an overlap, interlock or full-finger (not baseball!) grip on the club, the same fundamentals apply.  Here are the major grip faults I see most often, in the order of the frequency:

Mis-aligned hands

By this I mean that the palms of the two hands are not parallel to each other. Too many golfers have a weak left hand and strong right, or vice versa. The easiest way to learn how to hold the club with your palms aligned properly is to grip a plain wooden ruler or yardstick. It forces the hands to align properly and shows you how that feels. If you grip and re-grip a yardstick several times, then grip a club, you’ll see that the learning curve is almost immediate.

The position of the grip in the upper/left hand

I also observe many golfers who have the butt of the grip too far into the heel pad of the upper hand (the left hand for right-handed players). It’s amazing how much easier it is to release the club through the ball if even 1/4-1/2″ of the butt is beyond the left heel pad. Try this yourself to see what I mean.  Swing the club freely with just your left hand and notice the difference in its release from when you hold it at the end of the grip, versus gripping down even a half inch.

To help you really understand how this works, go to the range and hit shots with your five-iron gripped down a full inch to make the club the same length as your seven-iron. You will probably see an amazing shot shape difference, and likely not see as much distance loss as you would expect.

Too much lower (right) hand on the club

It seems like almost all golfers of 8-10 handicap or higher have the club too far into the palm of the lower hand, because that feels “good” if you are trying to control the path of the clubhead to the ball. But the golf swing is not an effort to hit at the ball – it is a swing of the club. The proper hold on the club has the grip underneath the pad at the base of the fingers. This will likely feel “weak” to you — like you cannot control the club like that. EXACTLY. You should not be trying to control the club with your lower/master hand.

Gripping too tightly

Nearly all golfers hold the club too tightly, which tenses up the forearms and prevents a proper release of the club through impact. In order for the club to move back and through properly, you must feel that the club is controlled by the last three fingers of the upper hand, and the middle two fingers of the lower hand. If you engage your thumbs and forefingers in “holding” the club, the result will almost always be a grip that is too tight. Try this for yourself. Hold the club in your upper hand only, and squeeze firmly with just the last three fingers, with the forefinger and thumb off the club entirely. You have good control, but your forearms are not tense. Then begin to squeeze down with your thumb and forefinger and observe the tensing of the entire forearm. This is the way we are made, so the key to preventing tenseness in the arms is to hold the club very lightly with the “pinchers” — the thumbs and forefingers.

So, those are what I believe are the four fundamentals of a good grip. Anyone can learn them in their home or office very quickly. There is no easier way to improve your ball striking consistency and add distance than giving more attention to the way you hold the golf club.

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Instruction

Clement: Stop ripping off your swing with this drill!

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Not the dreaded headcover under the armpit drill! As if your body is defective and can’t function by itself! Have you seen how incredible the human machine is with all the incredible feats of agility all kinds of athletes are accomplishing? You think your body is so defective (the good Lord is laughing his head off at you) that it needs a headcover tucked under the armpit so you can swing like T-Rex?

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