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Most ridiculous thing heard on the range


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#61 lonestar48

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 11:40 AM

I'm pretty new to the game and end up playing a few holes with this guy in his mid-50s or so.  After a few hits he says:  "You gotta finish with your hands real high...like this...(shows me)...see, watch...(hits screaming duck hook that never gets close to green, then contorts his arms and pushes them higher than they actually finished on his follow-through)...just like that, like the pros."

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#62 sharkiesj

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 11:51 AM

Funniest thing I've heard at the range was back in the mid 80s La Costa Resort held the Mercedes Tourn of Champions and all the guys were there, Jack, Hale, Curtis etc. I was at the putting green and here comes Chi Chi Rodriguez strolling over with this ugly, rusted ol heel shafted putter with the leather grip falling off. It looked like he pulled it up from the bottom of the ocean floor after 75 years. I haven't seen a more ugly putter in all my life.

He walks by Jack and plops a few balls down and starts putting. Jack looks up and says to Chi Chi, "Hey Cheech, I love your new putter" . Without looking up Cheech says, "Hey Jack, why don't you go f**k a bear."

Jack smiled and putted 2 more balls. He turned back to look at Cheech and Cheech was looking back at Jack with the biggest smile on his face. Jack just started laughing and giggling so hard. Cheech comes walking back over to Jack and gave him a big hug. He put his arm on Jacks shoulder and started telling him all about his putter. I couldn't hear exactly what he said but you could tell Cheech really admired and respected that man.

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#63 kiteman

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 12:05 PM

 jotay21, on 20 September 2013 - 11:16 AM, said:

 kiteman, on 20 September 2013 - 10:17 AM, said:

I heard something very ridiculous from a very good golfer.  A friend of mine is a +2 and the back fence at the range was 250y away and it was about 100 feet high.  I don't know what you would have to carry distance wise to get over the fence--at least 300--but he told me he wouldn't hit his driver because he would hit it over.  I walked away for a bit and came back and he was hitting his driver.  Granted he was carrying to the fence, but it wasn't going over nor was it even landing halfway up at that.  I was a little disappointed in him...it's the good golfers we hope are more modest while we expect the terrible ones to be too proud.

You practice at a range that has a 10 story net?

Yes.  That's pretty normal I think, at least around here.

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#64 MaydayGSXR

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 10:48 PM

On the way to the range with my dad, it was obvious he had gas as he was tooting the whole way there. As we pulled into the lot, I told him he better get it out now.

Anywho, about 10 minutes into the range session he accidentally lets one rip mid-swing (basically right at contact with the ball.. a real air bagel). About instantly after the swing, he says: "Bah, I looked up... topped it again!" trying to play it off. It was all I could do to hold it in. I just replied with "Ah that sucks," I couldn't bust him out, there were so many people around. I was just worried we would have to end the session early, haha.

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#65 DFinch

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Posted 20 September 2013 - 11:10 PM

I was chatting with a local teaching pro at the Trackman stalls when a guy walked out wanting to test some new drivers. He grabbed an R1, putma ball on the tee, made a very slow arm-only backswing and scooped the ball out there about 40 yards. He looked at the Trackman screen and complained it didn't track his shot. After 5 nearly identical swings he turned and asked "How far am I carrying those?" I could see the wheels turning in the pro's head during the awkward silence as he tried to figure out a reasonable answer..


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#66 Krt22

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 01:15 AM

 jotay21, on 20 September 2013 - 11:16 AM, said:

 kiteman, on 20 September 2013 - 10:17 AM, said:

I heard something very ridiculous from a very good golfer.  A friend of mine is a +2 and the back fence at the range was 250y away and it was about 100 feet high.  I don't know what you would have to carry distance wise to get over the fence--at least 300--but he told me he wouldn't hit his driver because he would hit it over.  I walked away for a bit and came back and he was hitting his driver.  Granted he was carrying to the fence, but it wasn't going over nor was it even landing halfway up at that.  I was a little disappointed in him...it's the good golfers we hope are more modest while we expect the terrible ones to be too proud.

You practice at a range that has a 10 story net?
plus for a long bomber getting a driver 100ft high means its time for something "low launch, low spin"

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#67 copperjeff

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 01:20 AM

 Hstead, on 20 September 2013 - 10:54 AM, said:

 SilverBullets, on 20 September 2013 - 08:32 AM, said:

"Driver off the deck... ALL.... DAY.....LONG!".... said the 40 year old fat man wearing all Rickie Fowler orange.

Hey, easy with the 40 year old fat man stuff.


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#68 jurr80

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 04:28 AM

These are priceless!!

You have to love the guys teaching their girlfriends.

"No..watch me...do it like this."

(Back foot stall and a scoop - 125 yd slice driver)

"See?"

Amazing stuff.


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#69 FLGOLFJUNKIE

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 10:36 AM

 sharkiesj, on 20 September 2013 - 11:51 AM, said:

Funniest thing I've heard at the range was back in the mid 80s La Costa Resort held the Mercedes Tourn of Champions and all the guys were there, Jack, Hale, Curtis etc. I was at the putting green and here comes Chi Chi Rodriguez strolling over with this ugly, rusted ol heel shafted putter with the leather grip falling off. It looked like he pulled it up from the bottom of the ocean floor after 75 years. I haven't seen a more ugly putter in all my life.

He walks by Jack and plops a few balls down and starts putting. Jack looks up and says to Chi Chi, "Hey Cheech, I love your new putter" . Without looking up Cheech says, "Hey Jack, why don't you go f**k a bear."

Jack smiled and putted 2 more balls. He turned back to look at Cheech and Cheech was looking back at Jack with the biggest smile on his face. Jack just started laughing and giggling so hard. Cheech comes walking back over to Jack and gave him a big hug. He put his arm on Jacks shoulder and started telling him all about his putter. I couldn't hear exactly what he said but you could tell Cheech really admired and respected that man.

I personally met Chi Chi and spoke to him for a good 20 minutes before a tournament in Grand Cypress in Orlando and he is one bucket full of dirty jokes. I couldn't even ask him what his favorite course was in Puerto Rico, he responded with the slang for women's genitalia. I'm trying to remember others but I was just amazed to be talking to such a legend. Here's a pic.



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#70 prorobo

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 11:57 AM

 jotay21, on 20 September 2013 - 11:16 AM, said:

 kiteman, on 20 September 2013 - 10:17 AM, said:

I heard something very ridiculous from a very good golfer.  A friend of mine is a +2 and the back fence at the range was 250y away and it was about 100 feet high.  I don't know what you would have to carry distance wise to get over the fence--at least 300--but he told me he wouldn't hit his driver because he would hit it over.  I walked away for a bit and came back and he was hitting his driver.  Granted he was carrying to the fence, but it wasn't going over nor was it even landing halfway up at that.  I was a little disappointed in him...it's the good golfers we hope are more modest while we expect the terrible ones to be too proud.

You practice at a range that has a 10 story net?

The range near me definitely has a 100 foot net at the very least since it's protecting the stacked twin rinks to the left, businesses on the right, and a river beyond the property.


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#71 flyinjoe13

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 12:22 PM

Not a range session, but we have a guy in our regular Sunday group who is deeply religious.  I once heard him mumble after missing a number of short putts in a row, "God, why do you let me live if you won't let me make a putt."  I immediately took a few steps away in case God was listening because I didn't want to get struck by the potential incoming lightning bolt.

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#72 oldschoolrocker

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 12:40 PM

A group of newcomers to the game were hacking away at a bucket of balls when suddenly the sounds turned to silence.  I continued hitting little 3/4 wedges to the 100 yard pin.  One of the group said to the others, "watch that old pro down at the end of the range."  I looked around and realized they were talking about me.
NOW THTS FUNNY.  Just goes to show its all a matter of perspective.

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#73 Cwing

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 02:23 PM

Good stuff.
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#74 BrettB97

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 04:51 PM

 oldschoolrocker, on 21 September 2013 - 12:40 PM, said:

A group of newcomers to the game were hacking away at a bucket of balls when suddenly the sounds turned to silence.  I continued hitting little 3/4 wedges to the 100 yard pin.  One of the group said to the others, "watch that old pro down at the end of the range."  I looked around and realized they were talking about me.
NOW THTS FUNNY.  Just goes to show its all a matter of perspective.
A lot more common than you would think. I commonly get confused for a D1 golfer. My 225yd bombs really impress the average beginners HAHA.

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#75 dettmeja

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 05:42 PM

I hit these new irons (callaway diablo knock offs) so far I don't even need woods in my bag....


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#76 Mulligan26

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 11:23 PM

Watching the "range pro boyfriend/husband/dad" always makes me laugh and simultaneously shudder with distain. I know their intentions are good, but I work with my instructor using kvest, trackman, high speed video etc and hearing just plain wrong swing advice doesn't sit right with me
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#77 JimNewton

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Posted 21 September 2013 - 11:52 PM

Last year I'm walking up to pay for my bucket, and there's this youngster there with dad watching him.  He is topping and just missing everything.  Dad says, "No, no .. remember that spine angle we talked about."   Meanwhile .. the kid is holding the club CROSS HANDED the entire time.  For a split second I started to open my mouth ..  err.. nope ..
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#78 Desert Golf

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 12:07 AM

At my course there is this guy named Jack Pearsall who "walks the line" at the driving range checking to see what shaft flexes everyone has in their bag.

He's kind of odd, always referring to himself in the third person.
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#79 rainkingjr

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 12:57 AM

Not at the range, but in a big box store some obvious chopper asking the salesman if the 60 degree wedge he was looking at would give him more "lift." The salesman replies "yes, 60 degree wedge will give you much more lift." Who says lift? This is why I couldn't sell golf clubs. I'd be brutally honest and probably lose a lot of sales because of it.

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#80 russad

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 02:37 AM

 triumph.man, on 19 September 2013 - 11:06 AM, said:

Fore!!!
classic lol


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#81 Ballgofarboy

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 04:06 AM

you are talking golf, how ridiculous could it be?
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#82 Tommy Canuck

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 05:01 AM

I am at the Buick Open (Warwick Hills Michigan), standing at the range with my buddies watching the Pro's hit shots. Out of the blue, Frank Lickliter, takes off his shades and looks right at me and says, "Hey Tommy, how you doing man, I have been looking for you"? Well, my name is Tommy, but I have no idea what the hell he is talking about as I have never met him. He walks right up to me and extends his hand and of course I shake his hand. As he is talking, he realizes I am NOT the Tommy he thinks I am. Proceeds to tell me he has one of his best friends who was coming up from North Carolina for the tournament and he swears we could be twins, and the guys name is Tommy !!!! Funny but awkward moment.

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#83 Tough

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 01:21 PM

When people ask me to hit their driver to see if their slice is because of the club...

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#84 mikes919

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 02:30 PM

Not at the range, but on the first tee yesterday-- I was a single and got paired up with a father/son combo. They had a new R1 with the stickers still on it, that they were sharing. Very clearly beginners. I asked what tees they wanted to play, and said I would prefer the whites. The dad's response:

"Well, I'm playing with a new swing today. I followed Tiger Woods at the BMW Championship, and I'm going to swing like him now. You can play the whites, I'm going to play the blues."
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#85 buckeyefl

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 04:40 PM

 mikes919, on 22 September 2013 - 02:30 PM, said:

Not at the range, but on the first tee yesterday-- I was a single and got paired up with a father/son combo. They had a new R1 with the stickers still on it, that they were sharing. Very clearly beginners. I asked what tees they wanted to play, and said I would prefer the whites. The dad's response:

"Well, I'm playing with a new swing today. I followed Tiger Woods at the BMW Championship, and I'm going to swing like him now. You can play the whites, I'm going to play the blues."

I think I just woke up the person in the room next to my hotel room because I was laughing so hard. That's awesome.


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#86 MaydayGSXR

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Posted 22 September 2013 - 05:57 PM

 mikes919, on 22 September 2013 - 02:30 PM, said:

Not at the range, but on the first tee yesterday-- I was a single and got paired up with a father/son combo. They had a new R1 with the stickers still on it, that they were sharing. Very clearly beginners. I asked what tees they wanted to play, and said I would prefer the whites. The dad's response:

"Well, I'm playing with a new swing today. I followed Tiger Woods at the BMW Championship, and I'm going to swing like him now. You can play the whites, I'm going to play the blues."

Hopefully this won't derail the thread, but how'd the round go?

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#87 mikes919

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 09:03 AM

 MaydayGSXR, on 22 September 2013 - 05:57 PM, said:

 mikes919, on 22 September 2013 - 02:30 PM, said:

Not at the range, but on the first tee yesterday-- I was a single and got paired up with a father/son combo. They had a new R1 with the stickers still on it, that they were sharing. Very clearly beginners. I asked what tees they wanted to play, and said I would prefer the whites. The dad's response:

"Well, I'm playing with a new swing today. I followed Tiger Woods at the BMW Championship, and I'm going to swing like him now. You can play the whites, I'm going to play the blues."

Hopefully this won't derail the thread, but how'd the round go?

Well I hit a fairway wood on the first hole, about 220 up the middle. Probably the only decent shot I hit all day. He watched it go, said "nice swing" and teed up at the white tee. Topped the drive about 50 yards into the trees. Stepped back, lit up a cigarette, and teed up a second ball with the cigarette still in his mouth. Topped it 50 yards into the trees again. Then his son hit, blasted it into the trees about 20 yards from the tee.

The round ended up being about 5 hours and 15 minutes long, and I shot a pretty terrible 87. I was wild off the tee and hit out of almost every bunker on the course. But these guys were blown away by how "good" I was. They were asking me about my clubs, about how much I practice, etc. They were keeping score for themselves, but I have no idea how high it would have been. They took 7 or 8 shots to get to the green on every hole, not including the 2 or 3 balls they each hit off the tee on every hole.

I should have just paid another 20 bucks or so and played a half-decent course instead of a muni on a Saturday. I don't know what I was thinking.
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#88 tjumper78

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 09:28 AM

2 gentlemen sharing the same stall next to me.
they were taking turns hitting drivers.
"if i swing like this, i can never hit 300 yards like i used to. maybe i should be happy with 280"
"well, i cant hit 280 like you.  im fine with my 260 yard drives."

their swings were ugly, and they were barely carrying their drives 180 yards, most of them not straight.

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#89 thug the bunny

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 08:11 AM

I always have to restrain myself when I see someone belly an iron shot and then say, 'Ach, I didn't get under that one'.
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#90 dirthead

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 02:05 PM

About a month ago I was at a local range in the middle of the afternoon.  It was about 110 outside, so there were only 4 people there.  On one end of the range, there are trees separating the range tee from the chipping green.  There is one really large tree on the corner of the tee box, and a water cooler underneath.  One of the guys on the range went to get a drink of water, and was walking back to the hit more balls when we heard a loud "crack".  It sounded like a ball hitting a tree, but the tree isn't in a spot where that could happen.  About 10 seconds later, there were a couple more cracks, and the tree started to fall.  The guy getting a drink was right under it, and ran out of the way.  The tree split right down the middle and half of it fell over.  The sound was crazy.  It was a perfectly calm day, so I'm not sure what caused it, but the sound of the tree splitting was the craziest thing I've ever heard on the range!

Callaway Big Bertha Alpha 10.5
Callaway X2Hot Pro 15
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Callaway X Forged 4-PW
Callaway MD2 50,55,60
Cameron SS Laguna 2

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