46 replies to this topic

[Fish-N-Chips]

So I'm getting ready to play golf with my overly competitive and not very good at golf, future father in law. I shoot mid to low 80's.

I need tips on how to handle this situation!
Do I let him win? I'm not sure how he'll take me beating him.

[Cwing]

Hit on the cart girl and makes lots of off color comments and drink allot. Call at least 3 penalties on him.

Edited by Cwing, 12 January 2013 - 11:19 AM.

[TNReb]

Be yourself.  Play your game.  If you beat him, he'll get over it.  I would never consider letting anyone win just because they're too competitive.  Enjoy your round and don't worry about trying to please him.  

I would be afraid if you play soft and try to let him win that it will become a routine thing.  You don't want to set a bad precedent.

[cmherrbach]

Beat his a$$ into the ground. He will respect a good competitor. He will loathe a spineless pu$$y that lets him win. This is a chance to prove you are an alpha. Just don't gloat after the win.

[Fade]

Don't let him win. He won't appreciate his daughter marrying a loser or a liar. This previous sentence sounds a lot worse than it is intended, but I hope you catch the gist here.

[Arsey51]

I play pretty regularly with my father in law.  Your future F.I.L. sounds a lot like mine...competitive.  The first time I played with him I was nervous, but we both played our respective games and talked.  I wound up having a good round and beat him by more than 10 shots...I think it was because he was nervous too, but he never shows that much emotion outwardly.  
That was 13 years ago.  He still gives me a good ribbing about beating him, but I showed humility in the small victory and I'm always respectful of him.

The previous advice is as good as any that you can get:
Be yourself.
Play your own game.
The scores won't matter as much as how you treat his daughter, and how honest you are....as a competitor and as a man.

[MtlJeff]

How competitive is he really? I mean everyone is a little competitive. Do these crazy father in laws exist who will hold it against you if you beat them at golf? It's the same thing as the people who get worried about playing with their boss. I'm sure you are fine beating them, just don't gloat about it or mock their bad shots. Be a nice guy, make some jokes, be comfortable and everything will be fine.

[PingIrelandS57]

I played golf regularly with my father in law. Even after he became my ex father in law. He became my best friend and remained so up until his untimely death last year. Golf is a game to be enjoyed and helps build rapport. Play your game.

[Fish-N-Chips]

UPDATE:

Well he's not nearly as competitive as I thought

I'm putting like an imbecile though , I can't get used to these greens and I'm nervous as hell

[sharkiesj]

Don't let him win. Just play your game. But I would go into it thinking, " there is no way in hell he's gonna beat me today"...

Be a gentleman, look for his wayward balls, and buy him something at the turn or 19 hole.  Fist bump his birdies, even his good bogeys. Watch him like a hawk so you can keep his score. Compliment his good scores on holes, don't ask what he got when he blows up. Don't keep his score if he doesn't want you too, but it can give you insight into whether or not your future wife will cheat on you like he cheats on his scorecard. Just kidding...

Be positive, stay positive, smile a lot. Silence, or a mild chuckle when you hit some stinker shots. It happens.

[Waterboy]

Are father in laws that bad? I have one and I get along with him great. The nervousness around him went away after dating his daughter.

Am I just lucky?

[Fore_Man]

Waterboy, on 12 January 2013 - 01:33 PM, said:

Are father in laws that bad? I have one and I get along with him great. The nervousness around him went away after dating his daughter.

Am I just lucky?

Yeah I'm a lucky one too... And I married the police captains daughter!  Talk about being nervous for a bit!

[esketores]

Our group has a couple son-in-law/father-in-law combo's that show up for our money games. I must say they all get along well. At least in public. It is to the point where if a son-in-law can't play the father-in law still shows. And is a welcome member of the group.
Look at it as an opportunity to establish a friendship. A friendship that hopefully lasts many years. Golf is a social event.
Whoever wins... wins.

[bdwalker93]

Cwing, on 12 January 2013 - 11:17 AM, said:

Hit on the cart girl and makes lots of off color comments and drink allot. Call at least 3 penalties on him.

That should work out well...

[DeNinny]

Play the traditional and gentleman's game and you should be fine.  Ready golf and speed notwithstanding...

Play in the proper order (the honor, furthest from the hole, etc)

Don't stand in the through line of any shot or putt.

Don't let the last putter pick up the flag.

Don't move or make a sound when someone is hitting or putting.

Offer to tend the flag.

Compliment a good shot but don't over compliment everything.

Don't offer advice unless asked.

Fix divots and ball marks.

If your father-in-law tells you to lighten up after this, then you are doing fine.  Basically don't give him a reason to be pissed off at you.  There's a reason the etiquette is the way it is.  It's set up to prevent excuses for someone playing poorly.

[ajschn06]

Fore_Man, on 12 January 2013 - 01:37 PM, said:

Waterboy, on 12 January 2013 - 01:33 PM, said:

Are father in laws that bad? I have one and I get along with him great. The nervousness around him went away after dating his daughter.

Am I just lucky?

Yeah I'm a lucky one too... And I married the police captains daughter!  Talk about being nervous for a bit!

I hear you.  I can't imagine what it's like when I hear these horror stories about the in-laws.  I look forward to spending time with mine, and I play lots of golf with my father and brother in laws.  They rarely beat me, but certainly enjoy it and let me hear it when they do.  We play a few 4 man scrambles together every year and those are usually the most fun I have on a golf course...

[ajschn06]

bdwalker93, on 12 January 2013 - 02:01 PM, said:

Cwing, on 12 January 2013 - 11:17 AM, said:

Hit on the cart girl and makes lots of off color comments and drink allot. Call at least 3 penalties on him.

That should work out well...

I feel out of place with my father in law if I DON't make off color comments and hit on the cart girl...

[Sawgrass]

IMO who wins is the absolute last thing that should be important.  Play as a person you can be proud of afterwards, and keep doing that with whomever you play.  If he's a good man, he'll respect and appreciate your approch no matter how the two of you score, and if he's not a good man nothing you did will have mattered anyway.

I love my father in law.  Some of the jokes above reminded me of the time 12 years ago when my father in law and I took a trip to Grand Cypress to go to a three-day golf school together.  We took a limo from the airport to the resort, and on the way the limo driver, unaware of our relationship, asked us if we'd like to have him set us up with some hookers!

"Ahhh, ahem . . .  no . . .  but thanks for the offer."  We both almost split a side laughing.

[Kadin 25]

Don't be an @$$ kisser, Be geniune, play your game and make small talk just as if your at his house for Sunday dinnner. All should be fine my friend after all he's given you his blessing to marry his daughter so he must already like you right?

*On a side note, my father-in-law is a golfer and I figured I would ask for his blessing to marry his daughter over a round of golf. I was so nervous about this and I finally asked him on hole #12.

Me: Frank, I would like to ask Christina to marry me. How do you feel about that?

Father-in-law: Well you know Christina, she's going to do what she wants.

Me: ?????????

Me: Um, Frank I was asking you for your blessing to marry your daughter?

Father-in-law: Oh,...yea sure,

Me: Um, Alright then *cue cart girl* Frank you want something to drink?

Father-in-law: Yea grab me an Arnie

All this worked up stress for nothing...lol conversation took less than a minute....so relax and have fun golfing with him.

Edited by Kadin 25, 13 January 2013 - 09:48 AM.

[ws6]

Play your best, and if you beat him remember what John Madden says when NFL players excessively celebrate, "act like you have been there before."

[HAWKEYE77]

Fish-N-Chips, on 12 January 2013 - 12:52 PM, said:

UPDATE:

Well he's not nearly as competitive as I thought

I'm putting like an imbecile though , I can't get used to these greens and I'm nervous as hell

I was going to say be courteous enough to stay off the phone during the round . . .

Edited by HAWKEYE77, 13 January 2013 - 10:07 AM.

[Fish-N-Chips]

In other news, I ended up beaitng him by about 15 strokes but it was a ton of fun. On 18 he hit about 9 drives because he couldn't get off the tee box and he was ticked about it. He only ended up carding a double though! haha

It was alot of fun and when it comes time to ask his blessing it'll probably be back at that golf course.

Thanks for all the tips btw guys, It was fun reading some of this stuff.

Edited by profsmitty, 13 January 2013 - 01:26 PM.
Removed reference to deleted post

[Imp]

He actually beat you because you used a device on the course that's forbidden during a stipulated round. ;lol:

--kC

[Hateto3Putt]

Tell him: "Thank God my Wife looks like her Mother"

[Kadin 25]

Hateto3Putt, on 14 January 2013 - 08:43 AM, said:

Tell him: "Thank God my Wife looks like her Mother"

OR...Thank God (insert duaghters name) looks better than your swing...

[GaHack1]

Play it down and putt it out :>)

[Fish-N-Chips]

Kadin 25, on 14 January 2013 - 09:30 AM, said:

Hateto3Putt, on 14 January 2013 - 08:43 AM, said:

Tell him: "Thank God my Wife looks like her Mother"

OR...Thank God (insert duaghters name) looks better than your swing...

That one actually would've had meaning. Haha!

He kept asking me what he was doing wrong and I didn't know where I start

[Sawgrass]

Fish-N-Chips, on 17 January 2013 - 10:52 AM, said:

He kept asking me what he was doing wrong and I didn't know where I start

Yikes.  Start, and end, with not having an opinion!

[ABgolfer2]

Make sure you have the type of haircut that looks good after removing your hat for the post-round handshake!!

[TJCDAS]

Fish-N-Chips, on 12 January 2013 - 11:15 AM, said:

So I'm getting ready to play golf with my overly competitive and not very good at golf, future father in law. I shoot mid to low 80's.

I need tips on how to handle this situation!
Do I let him win? I'm not sure how he'll take me beating him.

Don't talk about your girlfriends!!!