43 replies to this topic

[GRgolf04]

I am a member at our local semi-private course, and as a result of the steep daily fee price tag (which many of my friends don't want to pay), I often end up playing as a single or with just one other person. This means I/we often get paired up with some real characters, some of which make for some good stories. I was wondering what were some of the best stories people have about this? In the meantime, here is a good one my friend and I experienced. It is long, but well worth the read...

Last November, we got out to play one of our last rounds of the year, since it was starting to get pretty chilly outside. We get to the course around 9:00am, when it is a brisk 45 degrees outside. We end up getting paired up with these two women, who were in their 40s-50s, and very manly to say the least. They are both pretty good (probably drove the ball over 200 yards), accurate, and with solid games overall.

We go through the first couple holes without anything out of the ordinary, but the 3rd hole is when the hilarity begins. I make a birdie on 3, and on the 4th tee one of the women pulls out a bottle of jack daniels from her golf bag. She goes, "You made a birdie, so do y'all want to take a shot with us?" I figure, its damn cold outside, and wouldn't mind a little warming up on the inside, so me and my friend go ahead and take it. The next hole, as luck would have it, my friend birdies, and the same routine follows on the 5th tee box. These women are going on about how they can't wait to go hunting the following weekend, and how excited they are that deer season is open, and what not.

So, later on in the round, as we are driving down the 11th fairway, we see the women up ahead putting one of those huge plastic cart covers over their cart. My friend and I think it is odd they are just putting it on now, as it is really warming up outside (the high that day was around 55-60 degrees). Again, we think nothing much of it, until a couple holes later when we drive by their cart to our golf balls up ahead. As we drive by, I smell something funny, and not two seconds later my friend turns to me and says, "Do you smell pot?". I say, "Yes, I thought I smelled something funny", and turn around to look back towards the women's cart and a big plume of smoke is coming out from one of the sides of the plastic covering! They were toking it up in the cart, and were using the plastic cover to get the "full effect", LOL.

Let's just say, by the end of the round, they were not playing very well. Whiffing the ball, laughing hysterically, and all-in-all making a scene. The one women was so out of it, when we went to shake hands after the round, she completely missed my hand she was so high/drunk! The other women took about a minute to put the flagstick in the cup because she couldn't line it up correctly. Definitely one of the more interesting rounds I have had...

Anyone else have good stories?

[Onyx Z]

haha that's great, you can't make up this kinda stuff!

[Gripit_Swiftit]

Playing as a single last year at a nice local course I got paired up with 2 other singles.  We exchanged introductions on the first tee and it seemed like a typical round being paired with strangers.  We all had the standard conversations throughout the round (what do you do for a living, where are you from, family, kids, etc.) Again, nothing but normal.

We are walking down the 16th fairway when the one guy turns to the other guy and says "your mom married my dad about 10 years ago, didn't she?"

Turns out the one guy was estranged from his father and had not spoken to him in 20 years but had heard from other family about the wedding.  Throughout the round he pieced together the stories and realised that some of the people the other guy was talking about were his relatives.

They didn't say another word to each other the rest of the round and on the 18th green I shook both of their hands but they did not even look at each other.  Most uncomfortable moment on a golf course in my life.

I was so shocked and confused that I couldn't even think for the last 2 holes.  Just a weird deal all around.

[geesecougar2]

Hotboxing the golf cart. Hilarious! They clearly were thinking ahead about how to maximize their experience.

[DNice26]

<sup>I played once with a guy that toked it up on the 4th hole after starting out double, bogey, double.  He asked me if I wanted any and I said no.  He they proceeds to tell me how much better he plays when stoned....and the bad shots are not quite as bad....lol.  On the 6th hole he even pulled out a bag of chips from his golf bag to munch on!  LOL.  So funny.  

BTW, the guy went on to shoot a 79.  Not bad considering his start.</sup>  

[Sean25rp]

geesecougar2, on 04 January 2013 - 01:11 PM, said:

Hotboxing the golf cart. Hilarious! They clearly were thinking ahead about how to maximize their experience.

Hahaha! So funny!

[Gripit_Swiftit]

Really surprised how many people are surprised by the whole toking it up on the course.

I have never smoked in my life but it is almost a routine thing I see on the course.  Private and public courses alike and guys of all ages.

A few guys I play with regularly will hit their drives down the fairway and then while waiting to hit the next shot try to "find their balls" in the woods.  Or the old porta potty smoke out is a popular choice.  Most guys don't care enough to even hide it and just do it in the open.

[Graymulligan]

My wife and I played a couple of rounds on our honeymoon, and both days were paired with folks.  The first day, we were paired with a twosome, both guys, and neither guy wanted to play with a woman.  Neither of these 2 were very good, and and both had double or worse on the first three holes.  My wife, in the meantime, who plays to around a 20-25, had a bogey and 2 pars.  Of course, this made the guys that much more pissed off and grumbly.  

after 9 holes, the score was something like Wife:  52, guy #1: 55, guy #2: 52.  Guy number 2 was greatly annoyed that he hadn't beaten my wife, and actually said to her "Well, did you count that drop back on hole number 3?"  (she had).  

Her reply?  "Yes, I counted that drop.  Did you count the three or four times you moved your ball, and the three or four practice swings when you grounded your club in the hazard?".

We played the back nine alone, as the twosome decided to have lunch and not play anymore.  

Edited by Graymulligan, 04 January 2013 - 01:41 PM.

[Duffner's Waggle]

geesecougar2, on 04 January 2013 - 01:11 PM, said:

Hotboxing the golf cart. Hilarious! They clearly were thinking ahead about how to maximize their experience.

That wasn't Matt Every's mom was it??

[geesecougar2]

Gripit_Swiftit, on 04 January 2013 - 01:32 PM, said:

Really surprised how many people are surprised by the whole toking it up on the course.

I have never smoked in my life but it is almost a routine thing I see on the course.  Private and public courses alike and guys of all ages.

A few guys I play with regularly will hit their drives down the fairway and then while waiting to hit the next shot try to "find their balls" in the woods.  Or the old porta potty smoke out is a popular choice.  Most guys don't care enough to even hide it and just do it in the open.

Not sure about anyone else but I'm not surprised lol. It's routine in the Bay Area.

But bringing in one of those covers for the express purpose of hotboxing the cart? That is pretty gangster

[sheppy335]

Graymulligan, on 04 January 2013 - 01:40 PM, said:

My wife and I played a couple of rounds on our honeymoon, and both days were paired with folks.  The first day, we were paired with a twosome, both guys, and neither guy wanted to play with a woman.  Neither of these 2 were very good, and and both had double or worse on the first three holes.  My wife, in the meantime, who plays to around a 20-25, had a bogey and 2 pars.  Of course, this made the guys that much more pissed off and grumbly.  

after 9 holes, the score was something like Wife:  52, guy #1: 55, guy #2: 52.  Guy number 2 was greatly annoyed that he hadn't beaten my wife, and actually said to her "Well, did you count that drop back on hole number 3?"  (she had).  

Her reply?  "Yes, I counted that drop.  Did you count the three or four times you moved your ball, and the three or four practice swings when you grounded your club in the hazard?".

We played the back nine alone, as the twosome decided to have lunch and not play anymore.  

Glad she put them in their place Jerks!

[cb24]

geesecougar2, on 04 January 2013 - 02:04 PM, said:

Gripit_Swiftit, on 04 January 2013 - 01:32 PM, said:

Really surprised how many people are surprised by the whole toking it up on the course.

I have never smoked in my life but it is almost a routine thing I see on the course.  Private and public courses alike and guys of all ages.

A few guys I play with regularly will hit their drives down the fairway and then while waiting to hit the next shot try to "find their balls" in the woods.  Or the old porta potty smoke out is a popular choice.  Most guys don't care enough to even hide it and just do it in the open.

Not sure about anyone else but I'm not surprised lol. It's routine in the Bay Area.

But bringing in one of those covers for the express purpose of hotboxing the cart? That is pretty gangster

haha, that is pretty hilarious to use the cart cover for hot boxing purposes.

I once was paired up with a father and son probably 50's and 20's respectively.  They went into the bathroom right next to the tee box and after a few minutes I decided since it seemed they might be a while may as well use it myself.  I walk in and am surprised that neither of them is visible meaning they both went into the stall.  At this point I was getting a little creeped out and was wondering what was going on.  Well about a minute later smoke starts pouring out of the stall and they were going full hot box with a fat joint.  Needless to say I was relieved that they were just smoking weed.

Another time I got grouped with these two guys who werent exactly what you would expect at a golf course.  One guy had gotten a head injury and surgery a few months before and had open gashes, staples and stitches all over his head and said he had three metal plates (which I completely believed after being around him).  Straight up Frankenstein status.  Then his buddy was missing like 6 of his front teeth and was the definition of what you think of when you hear the term "plumbers crack."  Every time he would bend over to hit, exposed crack, but the worst was when he went to pick up his ball out of the cup.  Halfway thru the round I either would attempt to grab it for him or just had to walk away.  Usually this stuff cracks me up but it was just gross.  The kicker though, they would stop saying every dirty joke you could imagine using the words shafts, ball washers, balls, etc.  It was beyond ridiculous, haha, that at the end I just had to laugh.  I felt like I was on a reality tv show getting set up.  Crazy thing is, outside of the crassness they were actually pretty nice guys and were more polite than a lot of other people I have played with, but to say the least it was not a pairing i pictured on my way to the course.

[whiteout73]

One of my favorite quotes, from when me and a friend got paired with a couple rednecks- "Y'all want some a this here doobie?"

[steedorf]

I was out as a single once and it was slowed and paired up with a group of the par 3 5th hole. Trees all along the left up to the green. First guy hits it into the trees, second guy same thing, third guy exact same thing except this time it came out really hot smashes the pin sits beside the hole and then drops. Luckiest, ugliest, hole in one ever. He then bought me multiple beers. So, worth it.

[TNReb]

I've played golf for about 17 years and actually never heard of anyone smoking it up on the course.  

The only ramdon pairing that really sticks in my mind... it was an Asian guy and his wife.  She wasn't playing.  She was just with him.  I introduced myself on the first hole and quickly realized he spoke no English.  Neither did she.  He didn't really understand simple etiquette (whose turn it was, etc).  It was a long day...

[Jon Robert]

Did you get arrested for drunk driving?

[SilverBullets]

TNReb, on 04 January 2013 - 10:56 PM, said:

I've played golf for about 17 years and actually never heard of anyone smoking it up on the course.  

..

Really??? It happens a lot.  Actually when I used to caddy at a local course (host a PGA event, top 25 in the us) most of the caddies would hit one hitters in the fairway on a couple of holes where we go forecaddy.  The one hitters looked just like normal Cigs so the members just assumed they were smoking cigs (except for the more regular players who would then join in).

I personally don't smoke but always thought it was funny.

[KaBoom21]

Port-O-Let is French for "smoke up", or so it seems at Chicago municipal courses.

Edited by KaBoom21, 05 January 2013 - 08:59 AM.

[farmer]

I'm so old I've never heard the term "hotboxing".  Learn something new every day.

[ZNatural]

As long as it was a hot box and not a Dutch oven!?!?

[Imp]

TNReb, on 04 January 2013 - 10:56 PM, said:

I've played golf for about 17 years and actually never heard of anyone smoking it up on the course.  

color me surprised, actually. I don't, never have.

I know a ranger that does tho. Doesn't really bother me when people do it here and there.

I dont have much to add to funny stories that I've seen others, but 4 years ago at the Harbour Town course in hilton head,  playing as a single joining two others, my 1st  time on the course, about the 5th hole, I split my pants bending over to bet my ball out of the cup. Huge tear, and all one could see through the black pants, was my red boxer briefs.

Anyone got any tape in their bag? Nope. Well, I'm not stopping! Sorry guys!

Edited by Imp, 05 January 2013 - 06:44 PM.

[Greenie]

I dug up an old post of mine. Similar topic.

Posted 16 September 2011 - 09:37 PM

I have played golf for many yrs. I get paired regularly. I have been paired with a guy that shot 160, a guy that shot 130 and spent most of the time looking for balls, a guy that wrecked a cart, a guy that tore the undercarriage out of a cart ( that I signed for), a guy that broke a windshield on a cart ripped it off and threw it in the woods, people that ride up by the greens, people that throw clubs, people that broke clubs, a guy that threw his driver up in a tree and had it get stuck in the branches, I have been made to skip holes because of slow play due to the pairing, a guy that talked on his cell phone the whole time, a guy that talked the whole round while others were taking their swings, a guy that had to give me a play by play on every shot, what his shot was going to be including club choice, wind direction with estimated wind speed and distance then had to tell me after his shot why it didn't turn out to be a good shot, an insurance salesman that used his rounds to try and sell insurance, a guy that broke a windshield on a car, one that broke a window on a house, one that wanted to fight me because he thought I was putting the moves on his girl ,and one that threw the flag stick through the air and stuck it in the green like a lawn dart while he scuffed up the greens with his shoes.

The guy wanting to fight me story:
My friend and I showed up for our tee time and we were told we were being paired up with another twosome. The other twosome were already loaded up waiting on us and complaining about being paired up with starter. Now the girl sort of looked like Paula Creamer but with a larger rack. The guy was alot older and I thought it was a father , daughter outing. The women in her early 20's and the guy was over 50. The women was wearing a short top, I geuss you call it a halter top, and the shortest skirt I ever saw. On her first swing,up comes the top on her backswing exposing a nice shot of her black bra and whats in it. My friend says "did you see her pink panties when she swung?" I said " well no I didn't. I was focused on other areas" Oh wow!!! I certainly didn't mind the show but being a gentelman I was trying not to look as she swung. It became very difficult on the green with her marking her ball and the way she was bending over.
I started talking to her around the third hole trying to give her some confidence in her game. I could tell she was uncomfortable playing with us. The guy stayed quiet the whole time. On the fourth hole she hit a decent shot from the fairway, while giving us the show, and I said nice shot. She ended up a little short of the green but it was her best shot of the day so far. With the three of us standing on the green watching her chip up she again made a good shot almost holing it out. She runs up to mark her ball all excited , bends over " the show" and at the same time I say " NICE SHOT". Well the guy goes off. What did you say? I said "nice shot". "Yea I guess you did enjoy "the shot" he says. So I say "She made a nice chip. Whats the problem?" "You know what the problem is" he says. I get what he is referring to now. So I say " If you have a problem with the way your DAUGHTER dresses then you shouldn't allow her to dress that way or at least not to try and play golf in those clothes. That is when he informs me it is his girl friend , I was putting the moves on her and he was gonna whip my butt. Luckly they got in the cart, rode off skipping the next hole and kept on going.

Edited by Greenie, 05 January 2013 - 09:18 PM.

[stinger12345]

This thread makes me feel like an immature child for toking.  It's okay, I live in CA.  It's like, totally legal here.

[Mulligan26]

^ I toke too man, not legal in Maine or NH but no one cares. Honestly I don't do it on the course unless its a pure goof off type round

[BigDave11]

I've been paired with a few characters. A 70something army vet who carried his bag and drove the ball 270+. A Victoria's secret model and her father, at least she called him daddy. And way too many French Canadians that play once a year or two.

On the subject of pot and golf which seems to be being discusses; I've always though pot and golf go kinda hand and hand. Of my 22 years on this planet I've spent about 3 working at private golf clubs. About 35% of the staff smokes regularly including pros and asst pros. One pro at a club i worked at was nicknamed 'stoner'. A LOT of people in the industry toke up. And the person i would consider most likely to smoke on the course? The 60+ yr old retired Guy with a lot of time and money.

[CEPick]

Where is this in VA? Sounds like somewhere I could play..

[The General]

I don't remember the story exactly (it's on this forum somewhere), but these two guys guys paired up with two younger guys, as they are walking off the first tee, one of the younger guys pulls out a pipe and asks the two older guys if they want some, they respond "If we do, we might lose our badges!" LOL

[isaacbm]

Was playing a practice round for a Gateway Tour event and I got paired  with two other pros at  a pretty nice course in Phoenix.  One of the guys has a friend join us on the second tee  who I later find out has told the shop he too is playing a practice round so he can get out for just the cart fee.
He looks like a golfer, dressed nicely, big tour bag etc.

Anyway, the fourth guy shows up late and meets us on the first green and hits a few chips and putts like the rest of us.  Perfectly normal.  Then on the second hole, I'm out in the desert taking a leak and I turn around to go back to the cart and the guy has stripped down to his briefs and is doing "down ward dog" on the cart path!  He says he was pretty stiff on the first hole and he wanted to loosen up.  When I asked his buddy (the actual pro) what he was doing mostly naked I was told that he borrowed his clothes and didn't want to get them dirty while stretching on the ground.
He said it in a way that made me think he thought it was a perfectly good answer.

The non pro probably was at least a 20 handicap and spent most of the day either  stretching or  "looking for balls" (read: I'm going into the desert to have another joint).   It was quite entertaining!

We did tell him he had to keep his clothes on at some point.

Edited by isaacbm, 07 January 2013 - 12:37 PM.

[Hateto3Putt]

My buddy still has an old Taylor Made clear plastic ball tube he uses exclusively for his golf weed.

Some kids never grow up.

[Graymulligan]

Get your Srix on!