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I used to be this guy...so if we played together: sorry.


36 replies to this topic

#1 edLmuldoon

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Posted 18 November 2012 - 10:52 PM

I don't know when it switched, maybe 12 months ago, but I finally decided that getting angry is pointless.  I use to scream, throw clubs, kick carts, throw balls, etc. when I was having a bad day.  I just did a 180 from that though. I just don't see the point.  Why ruin your day by getting stupid angry. My dad always said, "Control your emotions, don't let them control you."  Thanks Dad!


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#2 duffer987

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Posted 18 November 2012 - 11:09 PM

How old are you? When was 12 months ago?
It's certainly not acceptable behaviour, but when I see someone having a hissy-fit and they are in their teens/twenties, I figure they'll grow out of it.
What is just embarrasingly awful is watching a grown man, with a wife and kids, swearing his head off and throwing clubs.
Golfed with that guy a couple times this year and its so not on, especially so when the one time we were a foursome of strangers.

Good to hear you have gotten it out of your system :)
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#3 Imp

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:22 AM

Quote

How old are you?

I don't think it really matters. The OP is right, nothing good comes from getting visibly mad. You can get mad, and internalize it. Use that anger. Embrace it. Channel it towards your next swing at that little white ball that just done you wrong on that topped drive that barely made it past the ladies tees.

You can use anger, its energy. Seize the opportunity to improve your 2nd shot, and then go from there. Using your anger, for example, to use your 3 wood and jet that topped drive 270+ yds from the rough to about 50 yds out, picking a random hole, on the par 4 3rd at Harbour Town with the narrowing fairway.

Quote

When was 12 months ago?
Care to re-ask that question? ;)

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#4 Kadin 25

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:40 AM

12 months ago = last year

You're Welcome ;)

Edited by Kadin 25, 19 November 2012 - 08:45 AM.

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#5 Dire Wolf

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:04 AM

If you can vent and not disturb anyone and then get back to level in time for your next shot, I don't see the harm.  Snead advocated this and said the guy walking around bottling up emotions all day is one of the easiest to beat.


#6 Skaffa77

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:47 AM

I had this same problem and it was mainly in my teens and 20's...throwing clubs, cursing, etc.   I find that my expectations exceeded my abilities which caused a lot of frustration.

I'm still prone to momentary visible indignations from a continued bad performance during a round, but it's nothing like it used to be.   Anymore, if I have a bad round...I try to remember....it's just my day to have a bad round and it happens to everyone.   As my father has observed...I've mellowed out a bit with age.

Edited by Skaffa77, 19 November 2012 - 09:48 AM.


#7 Vindog

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:06 AM

a few years ago I played with a father/son duo.  Par 3.. son (sophomore in college he says) gets up and tops a ball; throws his club and pouts.  Father just standing there

So I'm thinking to myself...my dad would have none of that.  Be mad, vent, but don't act like an idiot, but whatever he's young.  Father gets up, shanks one in the water and throws his club at his bag knocking it over.

It was all clear at that point.  I gave the kid a pass because he was about 20, the perfect age for outbursts.  But the father?  ughhhh.
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#8 duffer987

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 11:24 AM

LOLOL!!!
Thanks fellas, I'll get me one of them reading books and try and work on my calendar comprehension :)
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#9 slocagolfer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:58 PM

I figure you've got about five seconds to be upset with a shot. After that, find your ball and hit it again.

I use to be a hot head and did my share of club shortening. One day I figured out it didn't help and made for an unpleasant day for all - including me. Maybe I just grew up.

#10 czastrow

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 08:25 PM

I think a lot of it is the fact that people put such high expectations on themselves to perform as the top pga guys do. There are a lot of golfers that cant accept their true ability and come down to reality. No doubt that its fun to be competitive but there is a line that you can cross. Good on the op for the change. I don't enjoy playing with hot heads. If I am having a bad round I take a moment and look around and tell myself " you are out golfing! Enjoy yourself before you have to go home and it gets worse" haha

Edited by czastrow, 20 November 2012 - 08:28 PM.

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#11 Mcgeeno

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:06 PM

I was that guy as a youngster too.

I realized as I hit my late teens that I wasnt going to be a Pro or make it on the golf course. Golf was a hobby and I didnt want it to be a job.

It was one of those epiphany things where I was playing in a junior tournament and all 3 guys in my group were flat out stronger than me in every phase.

After that, I've been dissapointed many times but I never yell, throw clubs or act like a ******. Its just a game and I want to enjoy the 4 hours on the course as much as I can.

#12 SurfinTurf

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:17 PM

Raising club over head while inhaling for violent verbal outburst = Check
Closing eyes, tilt head back and stare and the sky, Heavy Sigh = Check
Not smashing favorite club into ground and breaking $300 shaft = Check

All good, we can proceed now.  (optional: "pass me a beer")
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#13 1fairway2another

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:33 PM

Im still kinda like that, im 21 and when i play with my friends ill talk dirty to the ball in flight. Call it a slut, and some other words. Occasionally ill slam a club into the ground. I only do it with people id call my best friends not around others. I played in a scramble a few weeks back. First hole topped a ball 50 yards left on a long par 4 and my partner did the same. Next kid (probably 23) gets up and cranks a ball 300+but into the left rough. Slams his club into the ground, cursing up a storm and throws his driver at the cart. Really?

#14 Sabertooth2.0

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 10:02 AM

Im 28, I have saw 10 yr olds throwing clubs amd cursing as well as 60 yr olds. Age does not matter it seems to me when it comes to acting like a complete a$$.... to be honest it embarrasses me for them and others around them. I'm a single digit capper and tho I may get angry I refuse to make others uncomfortable around me. I dont understand how one hole can ruin an entire round for others, I mean we pay so much to play and take so many hours away from other things in life that imho if you cant enjoy the good & the bad you shouldnt be playing... just my opinion

#15 TheCityGame

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 10:04 AM

I could write a book on this topic.

I used to be TERRIBLE. And, I learned it from my dad. I've mellowed over the years, but he hasn't and he's 71.

One thing that I heard once is that people have hissy fits because they want other people to think they're better than they are. I think that was true for me.

These day, I'll get pissed at myself when I'm playing with friends, but if I'm in a tournament, I never do it.

Lastly, as others have said. . .I've always thought that getting upset helped me. The last time I made a double bogey,I swore about it the entire next hole which I birdied, and then proceeded to go par, birdie, par, par, par after that.


#16 esketores

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 10:16 AM

We give ratings for club throwing performances. Sorta like dancing with the stars. Short arming a toss is a serious deduction.
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#17 Quasimoto

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:07 PM

I have an aversion to tossed clubs.
Any that come my way - within 10', I pick up and give a good old scottish hammer throw, helicoptering them into the nearest hazard or tree.
"Sorry dude, you really ought to learn how to throw those things repectably." is what I say.
It has happened 6 or 7 times and no one has ever complained.
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#18 Shrapnac

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Posted 23 November 2012 - 12:55 PM

I threw a club once, it was helicoptering and almost hit my buddy in the head a good 30 yards ahead of me. We laughed about it but I felt like such a jackass that I haven't and won't throw a club again.

I don't get angry playing golf anymore, probably because it's so humbling to play, and I inevitably would play worse angry. The damn game is hard enough as it is.

#19 cardoustie

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Posted 23 November 2012 - 01:02 PM

A friend of mine 10 yrs or so back was a reknown hot head.   Greatest guy ever off the course.

One round he turns on the 9th green and helicopters his putter as hard as he can  ... my boss (at the time) was 15 yards away and ducked as it went a mere 12 " over his head.   It would have been ambulance time if he hadn't of seen it coming

I never played with the "tosser" again, pardon the pun

With good pals I will yell the occasional "F me" bomb on men's nights for comedic relief but I am over it within 3 seconds.  Sip my beverage and move on,   Never do that with strangers as the don't get the inside joke
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#20 TheWalker

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Posted 24 November 2012 - 11:08 AM

This used to be me, and I think this is why:

View PostTheCityGame, on 21 November 2012 - 10:04 AM, said:

One thing that I heard once is that people have hissy fits because they want other people to think they're better than they are. I think that was true for me.
Now, at 51, I don't pretend to be better than I am.  It doesn't usually take long for my true skill to be evident anyway.  Also, I found that after an outburst, my game was toast for the next 3 holes, regardless of how well I calmed myself.  So even getting over it after 5 seconds wasn't good enough.


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#21 Willie Malay

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:17 AM

About 4 years ago I was having a bad day on the course. I hit a bad shot and did or said something(don't remember what it was). My friend who I've played golf with for some 15 years said "that is the first time I've ever seen you lose your cool on a golf course". I took it as a compliment. I get frustrated yes, but I try to keep my cool. I can't stand to see young kids get mad on the course. Not so much for MY SAKE, but for their's.

#22 Fourmyle of Ceres

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:46 PM

I've never tossed clubs but I've whacked my bag or push cart a couple times. Majorly stupid. I used to stomp around and curse out loud from time to time but I've gradually mellowed out. Lately it seems the occasional S-word out loud or maybe an F-word under my breath is about the norm, once a round or so.

Here's what I've noticed since I no longer do that sort of thing routinely. When I do blurt out "G-- D------" or something loudly, since I do it so infrequently it seems embarrassing and I keep my mouth closed completely for the rest of the round.

#23 Fourmyle of Ceres

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:53 PM

Years ago I showed up at some course in Myrtle Beach as a single and got paired with two older gentlemen. Each of them had an "LSU" golf bag and they introduced themselves as "A couple of genuine coona---'s from Lousiana". One of these guys had an all-purpose response to any poor shot, ball lost in a water hazard or bad bounce. He yell "Well F--- Me!". Every time, at least once or twice per hole.

Some time late in the round he hit a pretty amazingly bad slice that traveled sideways about 100 yards before finally bouncing off the roof of a house and then into a lagoon. He didn't say anything, just turned and looked at me and his buddy as if he were at a loss for words to describe that bad a shot. I offered "Well F--- YOU!" and he just nodded his head and smiled.

#24 myspinonit

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:13 PM

View PostQuasimoto, on 22 November 2012 - 09:07 PM, said:

I have an aversion to tossed clubs.
Any that come my way - within 10', I pick up and give a good old scottish hammer throw, helicoptering them into the nearest hazard or tree.
"Sorry dude, you really ought to learn how to throw those things repectably." is what I say.
It has happened 6 or 7 times and no one has ever complained.

Years ago a fellow told me why he didn't take up golf; because his dad and friends just took it too seriously.  As evidenced the last time he tried to play golf, with his dad and dad's pals at their home club.

The story as related to me: One of the foursome topped his drive into the water hazard just in front of the first tee. His friends laughed. He did it twice more  and his friends ribbed him more. He finally got the ball in play. As he crossed the bridge from the first tee, he helicoptered his driver in the water. One of the foursome fished it out and put it in his bag. The club-thrower says" thanks for getting my club". Reply " it's not yours, you threw it away." And he kept it.

I thought that was a bit harsh for years. Now I kind of like that response from the fisherman.
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#25 Desert Golf

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 12:03 AM

Can't stand playing with hot heads.  Everyone experiences frustration while playing golf but there is no excuse for having the emotional control of a toddler.

Good for you for recognizing that it is a problem and for making efforts to keep your emotions under control.  It is true what they say about golf revealing ones character.

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#26 Imp

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:02 AM

My standard responses...

Bad/sliced drive? "Whoops" (usually within 1 second after swinging)
Topped drive or ball? Laugh/chuckle.
3 putt? "Need new ball, this must be defective" and throw into nearest/next water on the course as homage to the gods.

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#27 ennead

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Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:53 PM

I was never too bad, but I still keep a cooler head now than when I was younger.  I'm pretty sure that what I figured out was that I don't practice enough to have such high expectations...

#28 stilinsm

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 05:01 PM

Does letting loose of the driver in the back-swing, after a major duck hook / duff, constitute a thrown club?
FMF Stella did it three times last week.

FMF = F&$K My Face - one of his favorite things to yell.
Stella = After the round, exclusively drinks only Stella Artois and looks down upon us Bud Light low lifes...

Edited by stilinsm, 03 December 2012 - 05:03 PM.


#29 Imp

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 08:17 AM

I forwarded that to a friend in the Artois family. :lol:

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#30 Graymulligan

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Posted 17 December 2012 - 11:34 AM

When I was a wee lad in my teens, I used to get pissed and throw clubs.  As I've matured, into my late 30's, I realize I'm far better off laughing off my mistakes.  Laughing relaxes me instead of winding me up more, and I'm more likely to hit the next one well.  Plus, it doesn't make it awkward for your playing partners. No one likes walking on eggshells for 18 holes hoping that the guy you're playing with won't blow up and start throwing things if you say the wrong thing.

Blue Biocell, Aldila NV
Jetspeed 3 wood
Mizzy JPX800 pros, x100 shafts
Mizzy JPX 54/58
Futura X

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