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Does anyone one have their own/heard unique golf quotes


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#1 coach1775

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 09:34 PM

If I were to be sentenced to hell, I don’t think I would mind as long as I could play or watch golf.


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#2 Senna

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 10:30 PM

He's so miserable, he picks up lost golf balls while their still rolling.

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#3 Vintage1976

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 11:52 PM

Golf is like sex. You don't have to be good at it to enjoy it.
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#4 MattTheTaff

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 01:01 AM

Golf is like a big ******* ***** with a ***** **** ****, gets licked by a **** ******* and gets covered in piss.
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#5 sharkiesj

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 01:43 AM

Many golf shots are spoiled at the last instant by efforts to add a few more yards.....Bobby Jones.

There is no such thing as a misplaced bunker, regardless of where a bunker may be, it is the business of the player to avoid it......Donald Ross (at Seminole) in 1929.

The merit of any hole is not judged by its length but rather by its interest and its variety. It isn't how far, but how good......Albert W. Tillinghast.

The number one ruination of the golf swing is tension....Jack Nicklaus.

A good player does not lose his(her) golf swing. Ever. When a player is struggling, they've lost their position. Find your positions, and you'll find your golf swing....Ken Venturi.

Slow play is ruining the game, but not as much as people dressing head-to-toe in Puma.....sharkiesj.

Edited by sharkiesj, 07 November 2012 - 01:48 AM.


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#6 Jim Clark

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 09:39 AM

Here are a bunch:

http://www.brainyquo...words/golf.html

http://www.quotegarden.com/golf.html

http://golflifelesso...olf_quotes.html

http://www.greatgame...at-golf-quotes/

Lots or repeats in the different sites, but plenty of unique ones too.

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#7 Shrapnac

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

I hate golf. -Shrapnac

I love golf. -Shrapnac


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#8 hebron1427

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 08:58 PM

I'm quitting golf. I hate this game.

-hebron1427

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#9 jackfig

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 09:28 PM

If you can't find the drive you've hit into the rough, walk to the point where you're sure it first entered, turn around and walk twenty yards back toward the tee box.  That's where your ball is.

-Jackfig

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#10 Chief Illiniwek

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 09:42 PM

My buddies and I have started calling wayward shots "off the radar." Not even sure if it's original or we heard it somewhere.


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#11 coach1775

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 10:10 PM

View Postjackfig, on 07 November 2012 - 09:28 PM, said:

If you can't find the drive you've hit into the rough, walk to the point where you're sure it first entered, turn around and walk twenty yards back toward the tee box.  That's where your ball is.

-Jackfig
This is the type of stuff I'm looking for hilarious

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#12 Chef Otto

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    I Surf Snow & Putt For Dough

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 03:33 PM

Mine is under my avatar. Surf snow refers to snowboarding.
To any one under the age of 13 who does not get it this is a twist on the timeless "Drive for show & Putt for dough" quote that I first heard over 30 years ago.

Edited by Chef Otto, 17 November 2012 - 03:35 PM.

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#13 Pudgelewis

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 08:00 PM

"That's a cinco de bogey!" Said that to my friend after a 9 on a par 4.

Anyone else say you "chubbed it" after catching a chip fat?

Edited by Pudgelewis, 17 November 2012 - 08:00 PM.


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#14 TTKPGA

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Posted 18 November 2012 - 04:16 PM

Swing hard just in case you hit it!

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#15 MadGolfer76

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Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:36 PM

"I would be playing better if not for all these BATS!"

MG

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#16 hebron1427

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Posted 26 November 2012 - 05:34 PM

View PostPudgelewis, on 17 November 2012 - 08:00 PM, said:

"That's a cinco de bogey!" Said that to my friend after a 9 on a par 4.

Anyone else say you "chubbed it" after catching a chip fat?

it's a flub or a chili dip over here.

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#17 chickenpotpie

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Posted 26 November 2012 - 06:36 PM

The ball don't lie.....Rasheed Wallace
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#18 J-Tizzle

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Posted 27 November 2012 - 09:25 AM

"You boys always hear about the golf gods, but its really a golf goddess.  Why you ask?  Because no man could be that fickle" - Some old guy I got paired with in an ABCD scramble.
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#19 Roland of Gilead

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:46 PM

"You're gonna need two tight butt cheeks for that shot." My uncle describing a long, into the wind, uphill shot that you have to crush.

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#20 Thrillhouse

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:38 AM

I like to say "hit something cheap" when my wayward tee shot is hurtling towards the houses.


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#21 joeshmo

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 03:14 AM

Playing in a 2 day tournament with difficult greens. Second day on hole 13
Me to caddy. well I think I finally got the speed of these greens.
Caddy to me. Sir the horse has died before the grass grew.
Talent is the desire to practice

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#22 Jerry36

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 03:40 AM

Buddies and I have referred to a shot that looks good taking off but is never found as an "earhart"
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#23 sblack5

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 04:33 PM

Greens are so fast i have to hold the putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow....sam snead
hit is with so much authority
that when you find it
and it sees you, it is trembling.

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#24 PLYSGLF

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 05:29 PM

"Can you fill up my water bottle while you get your ball?"

"It is a good thing you can recycle that tee, the ball not so much."

"Nice one putt! What was that before it?"

"Probably should have added some extra distance because that divot took a lot off of it."


PLYSGLF

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#25 PLYSGLF

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 05:35 PM

"That's too bad because before the course was built those white stakes were not there."

"Plenty of birds out there but yours were more along the line of fowl."

  PLYSGLF


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#26 slufoot7

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 10:33 PM

After hitting a wayward put my partner goes FISA meaning F*ck I'm Still Away.
This isnt a quote but was done to me. When I first started playing at a new club I joined about 3 weeks in I had a steady playing partners. I could hit the ball long and out of sight just didnt know where it was going most of the time. On the weekends we were always the fourth group to go off. As I stepped to the tee the oldest guy in our group said hang on a minute. He pulled an air horn out of his bag blew it 3 times and told me to waited 1 minute before I hit my drive. The other members on the course want to get there hardhats on and get under cover!

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#27 driverwedge

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Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:01 PM

My buddy's got a few. Some repeats I'm sure:

You hit that left of Al Gore.
You hit that right of Atilla the Hun.
This putt is a torn pajama- one ball out.
Don't try to hit a five run homer.
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#28 StevenF

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Posted 18 December 2012 - 10:35 PM

View PostThrillhouse, on 14 December 2012 - 02:38 AM, said:

I like to say "hit something cheap" when my wayward tee shot is hurtling towards the houses.

lol that one made me laugh.  I'm going to hopefully not be using that one.
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#29 pauliodotnet

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Posted 19 December 2012 - 08:51 AM

PBF or PPF - post birdie f*** up or post par f*** up depending on skill level

when you miss a putt by one ball roll - "damn, just like cuba, one revolution too short"

Edited by Riuzzi, 19 December 2012 - 09:32 AM.
Language


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#30 Petethreeput

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Posted 19 December 2012 - 03:43 PM

"Every shot makes someone happy."

"Can't believe I looked up to see that s#%t," after I look up before contact and hit a horrible shot.


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