29 replies to this topic

[coach1775]

If I were to be sentenced to hell, I don’t think I would mind as long as I could play or watch golf.

[Senna]

He's so miserable, he picks up lost golf balls while their still rolling.

[heavybladed]

Golf is like sex. You don't have to be good at it to enjoy it.

[MattTheTaff]

Golf is like a big ******* ***** with a ***** **** ****, gets licked by a **** ******* and gets covered in piss.

[sharkiesj]

Many golf shots are spoiled at the last instant by efforts to add a few more yards.....Bobby Jones.

There is no such thing as a misplaced bunker, regardless of where a bunker may be, it is the business of the player to avoid it......Donald Ross (at Seminole) in 1929.

The merit of any hole is not judged by its length but rather by its interest and its variety. It isn't how far, but how good......Albert W. Tillinghast.

The number one ruination of the golf swing is tension....Jack Nicklaus.

A good player does not lose his(her) golf swing. Ever. When a player is struggling, they've lost their position. Find your positions, and you'll find your golf swing....Ken Venturi.

Slow play is ruining the game, but not as much as people dressing head-to-toe in Puma.....sharkiesj.

Edited by sharkiesj, 07 November 2012 - 01:48 AM.

[Jim Clark]

Here are a bunch:

http://www.brainyquo...words/golf.html

http://www.quotegarden.com/golf.html

http://golflifelesso...olf_quotes.html

http://www.greatgame...at-golf-quotes/

Lots or repeats in the different sites, but plenty of unique ones too.

[Shrapnac]

I hate golf. -Shrapnac

I love golf. -Shrapnac

[hebron1427]

I'm quitting golf. I hate this game.

-hebron1427

[jackfig]

If you can't find the drive you've hit into the rough, walk to the point where you're sure it first entered, turn around and walk twenty yards back toward the tee box.  That's where your ball is.

-Jackfig

[Chief Illiniwek]

My buddies and I have started calling wayward shots "off the radar." Not even sure if it's original or we heard it somewhere.

[coach1775]

jackfig, on 07 November 2012 - 09:28 PM, said:

If you can't find the drive you've hit into the rough, walk to the point where you're sure it first entered, turn around and walk twenty yards back toward the tee box.  That's where your ball is.

-Jackfig

This is the type of stuff I'm looking for hilarious

[Chef Otto]

Mine is under my avatar. Surf snow refers to snowboarding.
To any one under the age of 13 who does not get it this is a twist on the timeless "Drive for show & Putt for dough" quote that I first heard over 30 years ago.

Edited by Chef Otto, 17 November 2012 - 03:35 PM.

[Pudgelewis]

"That's a cinco de bogey!" Said that to my friend after a 9 on a par 4.

Anyone else say you "chubbed it" after catching a chip fat?

Edited by Pudgelewis, 17 November 2012 - 08:00 PM.

[TTKPGA]

Swing hard just in case you hit it!

[MadGolfer76]

"I would be playing better if not for all these BATS!"

MG

[hebron1427]

Pudgelewis, on 17 November 2012 - 08:00 PM, said:

"That's a cinco de bogey!" Said that to my friend after a 9 on a par 4.

Anyone else say you "chubbed it" after catching a chip fat?

it's a flub or a chili dip over here.

[chickenpotpie]

The ball don't lie.....Rasheed Wallace

[J-Tizzle]

"You boys always hear about the golf gods, but its really a golf goddess.  Why you ask?  Because no man could be that fickle" - Some old guy I got paired with in an ABCD scramble.

[Roland of Gilead]

"You're gonna need two tight butt cheeks for that shot." My uncle describing a long, into the wind, uphill shot that you have to crush.

[Thrillhouse]

I like to say "hit something cheap" when my wayward tee shot is hurtling towards the houses.

[joeshmo]

Playing in a 2 day tournament with difficult greens. Second day on hole 13
Me to caddy. well I think I finally got the speed of these greens.
Caddy to me. Sir the horse has died before the grass grew.

[Jerry36]

Buddies and I have referred to a shot that looks good taking off but is never found as an "earhart"

[sblack5]

Greens are so fast i have to hold the putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow....sam snead

[PLYSGLF]

"Can you fill up my water bottle while you get your ball?"

"It is a good thing you can recycle that tee, the ball not so much."

"Nice one putt! What was that before it?"

"Probably should have added some extra distance because that divot took a lot off of it."


PLYSGLF

[PLYSGLF]

"That's too bad because before the course was built those white stakes were not there."

"Plenty of birds out there but yours were more along the line of fowl."

  PLYSGLF

[slufoot7]

After hitting a wayward put my partner goes FISA meaning F*ck I'm Still Away.
This isnt a quote but was done to me. When I first started playing at a new club I joined about 3 weeks in I had a steady playing partners. I could hit the ball long and out of sight just didnt know where it was going most of the time. On the weekends we were always the fourth group to go off. As I stepped to the tee the oldest guy in our group said hang on a minute. He pulled an air horn out of his bag blew it 3 times and told me to waited 1 minute before I hit my drive. The other members on the course want to get there hardhats on and get under cover!

[driverwedge]

My buddy's got a few. Some repeats I'm sure:

You hit that left of Al Gore.
You hit that right of Atilla the Hun.
This putt is a torn pajama- one ball out.
Don't try to hit a five run homer.

[StevenF]

Thrillhouse, on 14 December 2012 - 02:38 AM, said:

I like to say "hit something cheap" when my wayward tee shot is hurtling towards the houses.

lol that one made me laugh.  I'm going to hopefully not be using that one.

[pauliodotnet]

PBF or PPF - post birdie f*** up or post par f*** up depending on skill level

when you miss a putt by one ball roll - "damn, just like cuba, one revolution too short"

Edited by Riuzzi, 19 December 2012 - 09:32 AM.
Language

[Petethreeput]

"Every shot makes someone happy."

"Can't believe I looked up to see that s#%t," after I look up before contact and hit a horrible shot.