[rookjs80]

simmoboy, on May 30 2005, 12:25 AM, said:

when you leave a putt short your already pissed then you hear "that was right on line" or "does your husband play".

ha your wife called she wants her putter back

[leftysviewuk]

It's simply got to be.........

Nice Sally Gunnell.

Ugly as hell but a good runner.....

[freddiec]

My new favorites thanks to the legendary Don Donatello. We say this on the course all the time now.
"Player Hater"
"signed, sealed, delivered"

[sync71]

Some of these are hilirious.

[stickman]

I love it when im playing with my buddies and a guys chuncks it like 50 yards short of the green and someone says "Be the right club".

[PGMlady]

Don't you just love it when you hit it short of the green and someone says, "get legs"?
like it's really going to run up there anyway

or my favorite taken from the Simpsons
Go apple, go orange, GO BANANA!
make way for grapefruit...

[curryj]

in breezy conditions;

"there's a lot of wind up there you can't see"

[forrre]

Ball hit left of left:

"cut OJ...cut!!!!"

as my buddies are walking to the first tee:

"looks like the atms are here!!! I hope you guys brought cash this time as you left brown crap on my debit card after I swiped it last week!!!"

Thats just nasty!!

After I hit a ball off the fairway or next to a tree:

"finally...I needed to find a tree to go to the restroom."

After hitting a large hook:

"that was a one of those new German balls....dahooknfcker!"

[kblakeney35]

When some schmo attempts a flop shot, only to blade it hopelessly across the green , then you hear

"Bite, Bite!!"

Or when someone tops a shot just barely into the fairway,

"Fairways and Greens my friend"

Or when a person hits a huge slice,

"Jeez ya hit the snot out of it, it's just...in...the...wrong...fairway"


Keep 'em coming
-Kyle

[Sandy_Hook]

When someone accidentally knocks one off the tee, you say "If you'd have known you were going to hit it so straight, you could've swung a little harder."

[Damo75]

I always get a laugh when guys yell out 'bite' or 'spin' when the ball is already rolling on the green.

And a couple I can't stand:

1. After you hit a long tee shot and some tool says 'I don't go that far on my holidays'. Very old guys - get some new material.

2. When someone calls 'Good putt' right before a big lip-out. Thanks loud-mouth. Any more bad karma you want to throw at me?

[Angenend]

My personal favorite " Soooooomebody's closerrr!!!!!!!!!!" if I feel like being a jerk, lol.


Another favorite "I can spit a ball further than that."

If a ball bounces off the green "That ball had a little too much rubber in it".

If a ball carries too far into some water "See, you didn't need those illegal balls after all!"

[dux2000]

ur1down, on Nov 19 2005, 07:29 PM, said:

After someone hits an ugly tee shot that somehow finds the fairway:

"That one is like banging you sister...it's out there but you're not very proud of it."

Another one like that: "Shes ugly, but shes got big t****"

[dux2000]

One that looks good in the air: "Oh, be naughty"

The wrist breaking chunk/putt woefully short : "Nice layup"

[lidomkj]

"Your honor, your honor"

[2zlinks]

Here's a few you might like:

Your problem is your standing too close to the ball....after you hit it!

You have a loft problem, wait for them to look puzzled, lack of f$%*#ing talent!

If I were you I'd give up the game for two weeks, then quit!

Won't hurt you, might f%&k up your score, but it won't hurt you.

That was a Louisianna shot....Bayou

[peteman29]

Here are some of the one's that make me laugh and cry.

"be the club baby"

After a hitting a terrible shot a playing partner says "that's fine" yeah oh wow you really made me feel better.

"I ripped one right down the pipe"

"All over it!"

I also laugh when someone says "ooh that's stiff"

I actually quite like "That needs to take a seat" but by the time I realise my shot is long I don't have enought time to say it.

[Clemson656]

My friend told me this story that a friend of his always said this,

"Nice drive! It's ALMOST as long as mine"

[magee99]

When an opponent leaves a putt shots, say "hey didn't you know...90% of putts left short don't go in"


An old favourite of Johnny Millers

[slicer365]

I occasionly duff or hit the ground first, here's my friend's remark:

"Look's like you hit the big ball first."

I like this one:

"Let the big dog eat" in reference to the driver

Hate this one:

"Does your mother play??" in reference to a poorly read 4 foot short of the hole putt

[grumpy123golf]

better too have a bad day on the golf course than a good day in the office

with your total lack of athletism and your total lack of technical knowledge that wasnt a bad shot !

[hog golf]

2 of them actually:
- buddy has about a 2 foot putt- i tell him "knock it close"

we both tee off, i get well past him. i say-"i hear they're putting in a new wal-mart supercenter".
buddy- "where?"
me- "somewhere between my drive and yours!"

[creative66]

I'm on the dance floor but I can't hear the music.

[titleistpro2]

somewhat rude, but when another players putt lips out you say...ahh, still going to the Junior prom...all lip, no hole.

[6(SIC)6]

I like to start off the round by walking up to one of my unsuspecting buddies and ask "Do you know the capital of Thailand?" And before they have a chance to respond, I whack 'em with the butt end of my shaft right in the baby maker and respond "Bangkok!!!"

[TFD1953]

Putt does a 360 lip out..."Had it in her mouth and then mama walked in".