[jotay21]

Day started out great. Took off work at 11am to go and golf and then it all went downhill. Went to the range before our round to warm up and witnessed one of the worst things I have ever seen. Got up to the range and picked my spot to hit. I like to be away from everyone else and kind of do my own thing. My playing partner set up right behind me. After stretching and taking a few practice swings I was an older guy with his son(<10 years) coming our way. Was hoping they wouldn't get close, but honestly didn't mind.

Now, mind you, the father did not have any clubs, so I thought it was pretty cool that he was going to work with his son on his swing. My boy is 5 and I take him out once a week to play around on the range. Anyway, to the story. Immediately, I could see that this wasn't going to be good. The boy took an iron out and started warming up. His old man just started really being hard on him. I actually heard him tell his son that he was swinging "like a little b1t(h. I couldn't believe it. You could just see the kids body language demonstrating that he absolutely hated being out there. Then it got really bad.

The little guy set up a shaft to keep an eye on his line when he was swinging and pulled a ball up. Hit his first shot and caught it a bit chunky, but honestly wasn't bad for a 10 year old. His dad said something along the lines of "What are you doing? If you don't get any more compression than that, you should just quit". THIS WAS HIS FIRST FREAKING SHOT!!!!!! Then a few more shots, each one met with extreme criticism. The poor kid was almost in tears. He was trying so hard to please this ***** and all his dad could do was berate him. Still, after all of this, it got worse.

After about 15 balls his dad walked up to him and asked him why he was out there. The kid, after all of this, told his dad because he wanted to have fun. This @$$ told his kid that they weren't out here for fun, they were there to work. Then the worst came and I finally had to say something. His dad handed him a 5 iron. The kid took one swing and hit a really bad shot. Probably made contact with the ground 3 inches behind the ball. His dad yelled(I mean yelled) WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Why am I wasting my time out here with you? Then the guy snatched his 5 iron out of his hand and snapped it in half.

I won't go into to much detail about the conversation I had with this guy, but I asked him to join me in the range house for a few minutes and really let him have it. I have never seen anything like that in my life. I have two small children and even when they are acting their worse, I would never talk to either of them like that. When I take my son out to the golf course, it is for fun and fun only. I truly hope that I never see anything like this again in my life. Sorry for the rant, just had to share.

[scotchblade]

Not everyone should have children. Sounds like this guy is one of them.

[Johnny]

should have told him to STFU I'm trying to have fun.

[dlygrisse]

Wow, I have seen some moments similar to this myself, but never close to that bad. It is sad when a parent has to make up for thier own failures and insecurites by making life miserable on thier children. I have never been one to but in on how others treat thier own children, but that is almost abuse. My guess is once that kid leaves home he will never touch a club again in his life, the game will bring nothing to him but bad memories, sad.

[jotay21]

dlygrisse, on Oct 2 2009, 12:00 AM, said:

It is sad when a parent has to make up for thier own failures and insecurites by making life miserable on thier children. My guess is once that kid leaves home he will never touch a club again in his life, the game will bring nothing to him but bad memories, sad.

I echoed both of those sentiments to this guy. Went as far to tell him that he was taking something away from his son that both of them could enjoy well into their old age. It is sad that a 31 year old man that has only been a parent for 6 years is lecturing a 40(something) on how to treat his kids.

[NKB246]

What did he say when you confronted him. Gosh, I coach 5-8 year old in ice hockey, best thing is the parents are not involved. Anyone want to bet against me that the kid won't make he PGA... Great job for making a stand.

[razorbird]

Gotta be careful, though - don't want to make it any worse on the kid later. Guys like that are worthless and can escalate later if you humiliate them. Puts the kid in an uncomfortable place, and possibly worse. You never can tell.

[davepharmd]

Didn't realize O'Hair Sr had another kid.

[Hairpie]

I've seen similar things....Like the time I watched a 5-6 year old already taking lessons from the pro while pops berated him after each shot....I tend to just shake my head and walk away...While I started my son young (2), he's 8 now and we still keep it fun with a little instruction every now and then. He still has as much fun filling in divots with the seed mix and spooking the birds as he does actually playing. While I would love for him to get good enough to at least get a bit of tuition out of it I really only have one goal with him. If every time I ask him if he'd like to go play/practice he says yes, then I've done my job.....

[nickGT]

Kudos for saying something. I hate situations like that.

Out of interest i would like to know a bit about what you said to him.

[mjtoal]

Wow, didn't know the Wies had a son too.

[mlh2108]

Reminds of a similar event - not nearly as bad as this though... A freind of mine a football (soccer) referee and he once handed the red card to one of the dads yelling at his son from the sideline.... The guy protested hard, but my freind just insisted that if he didn't leave, he would end the match and then the dad could explain to the 22 kids why the match ended to early.... Needles to say he left....and I am sure that the kid had a better game than normal....

[OnOff]

davepharmd, on Oct 1 2009, 11:06 PM, said:

Didn't realize O'Hair Sr had another kid.

LOLZ

[joekelli]

Thats sad! I dont say a word to my daughters on the range. i just sit behind them with a bullwhip and crack em in the azz if they hit a bad shot! J/K

That was awesome that you took a stand. Most people wouldnt do that! How sad is it that this guy had the balls to do that to his kid in front of other people? sad sad sad

[NPVWhiz]

I agree this is awful. I have a two little ones, 4 and 6, who understand Dad likes golf but are only very slightly interested in it at the moment.

My Dad wasn't that type of fellow, thank goodness. But I've seen a few of those types on the range before, but not quite that bad. Regrettably, I think it stands out more on the driving range than it does at a junior high football practice field, or other instructional venues.

I was watching a show on on of the cable networks about young kids who are learning and competing in ballroom dance. The kids were probably 7 to 9 or 10, and the instructor (a young Russian woman) was just berating them unmercifully. Very hurtful comments about how poorly they were performing. (My kids are interested in tap and dancing as well).

I also recall seeing a clip on one of the online video sites of young ballet students being trained in another country by an adult, from whose physical appearance you could not imagine any personal experience in ballet. It was MUCH worse than the made-for-US-TV show with the little dancers. Screaming and....how to put it, swatting.

Now, here's an interesting question. Who's worse, the parent that engages in such inanity or the parent who hires someone to do it, or tacitly allows it in an organized sports environment?

There are a hundred junior high football coaches who engage in the same type of humiliating, degrading showmanship. For some kids, that motivated them to a higher level of performance and moved them closer to the team. For me, it made me into a motocross racer.

All that said, my greatest fear on the matter is that most of the gold medalists at the Olympics are the product of that type of training, from when they're very little. But I think it works differently in that context, without the personal parental relationship at risk. I would never risk that with my little ones.

[mrhills0146]

Hairpie, on Oct 2 2009, 02:25 AM, said:

...I really only have one goal with him. If every time I ask him if he'd like to go play/practice he says yes, then I've done my job.....

x 1,000 to that!!

My son will be 2 in November. He delights in pulling out his little bag of plastic toy clubs when he sees me do anything with my clubs in the house.

I cannot wait until he's old enough to go to the range or even play a couple of twilight holes with me.

[Rolex]

He snapped a five iron in half?

I smell some embellishment. I'm probably not alone.

[cmusic]

I have a friend that started his daughter playing golf when she was around 10. He always pushed her very hard to practice and learn how to play better, but always in a positive way. I never saw him verbally abuse her while playing or practicing golf. By the time she was 14 she was playing on her high school team as their top player. She went to the state HS tournament 5 years in a row, finishing in the top 5 her senior year. When she graduated HS she was offered 4 or 5 golf scholarships to mid level colleges. Her dad was very proud of her.

After HS graduation she moved out on her own, turned down all the golf scholarships, married her HS boyfriend, had two sons of their own, and has never picked up a golf club since her last HS state tournament. She is very happy and has told me she sometimes wants to get back to playing golf, but her family is the most important thing to her now.

[jotay21]

Rolex, on Oct 2 2009, 07:57 AM, said:

He snapped a five iron in half?

I smell some embellishment. I'm probably not alone.

I swear to god man. I wish that I would have thought to pull out my phone and record some of this for proof. That is why I finally said something to the guy. I was completely amazed that an adult would behave like this in front of his son, especially when he was trying to teach him something.

[nitram]

Whether it's golf, fishing, or building Lincoln Logs (for those of you old enough to remember what they are), it's GOTTA be fun or they're gonna stay home with mom. Kids learn soon enough that life has some rough spots without some ****** bag dad criticizing how he puts the straw in the chocolate milk.

Once the words leave your mouth you can't take it back..............

I'm just glad you had the stones to say something to him, especially out of earshot from the kid. Nice Move.

[tjy355]

Really sad for the boy. I would rarely say anything to a stranger but I don't think I would be able to keep my mouth shut had I witnessed something like this.

[Carolina Golfer 2]

Johnny, on Oct 1 2009, 11:56 PM, said:

should have told him to STFU I'm trying to have fun.

ROFLMAO!!!

Also what Scotchblade said reminds me of a great line from the movie Parenthood with Keanu Reeves. He was talking about his abusive father and said "In this country you need a license to do about anything, drive, hunt, hell you even need a license to fish. But they'll let any SOB become a father.

So true. Good for you for saying something, I understand you may not want to share. But do you think it sunk in at all or just hit that brick wall that he calls a head?

[CROUSE99]

Good for you! I feel sorry for the boy.

[Bluefan75]

The provincial junior am was at my old course one year. Got there after work, and the range was packed with kids after their round. Managed to find a spot though, and started to hit some balls. Kid next to me has his mother behind him critiquing every shot. "That was a little thin. You faded that one. That was ok. Fading again." I was waiting for "sounded a groove too low". He was a bit frustrated and finaly said he had had enough and grabbed his stuff and they left. Had it gone on any longer I would have pointed out to the lady that the kid is probably a 2 or 3 handicap, and he knows what he did with each shot, or else he wouldn't be here.

Most likely a parent who has spent some money on golf for this kid and needs to see a return on the investment, namely a college scholarship, and less than a stellar showing in the am will not be good.

I almost started to think I was back at my cousin's hockey games.

[fighting_irish]

Well done for letting him have it afterwards . Another loser dad who wants to make big bucks from their kid.

[BostonBob]

I do not believe a winning spirit is instilled in children (or adults) by berating them and showing them their errors and shortfalls. Instead, I believe on building upon small, earned successes. Through those a person can easily be encouraged to see their own possible future, fraught with success, with the joy of winning a positive ancillary benefit.

That being said, a bully is a bully. Personally, I despise them in all their forms - parent, co-worker, board member, golfer, whatever.

Arranging a visit from the local child services agency sounds like it could have been in order. The club breaking was a step up on the continuum of the violence, i.e. a step up from the verbal attacks. For those who don't want to get involved, including a license plate with your confidential report would do nicely.

Intervening on behalf of those who are helpless or who cannot defend themselves is never the wrong thing to do.

Bob

[efduffer]

This doesn't happen to be in Texas, does it? I swear there's a guy at my club that fits this description, but the kid can't be older than 5. Berating on swing, contact, distance, concentration. He actually had the kid in tears in less than 20 min's once. He (the 'father') stalked off and pouted in the cart while making the kid pick up all the equipment (clubs, bag, distance sticks.)

I leave whenever he drags the poor kid out there because all that I accomplish from that point is getting mad. Even the high school kids out there despise the dude. I wanna ask they guy if he does it out of love. Coz you really gotta love making a kid cry to do it as well as he does.

I agree, maybe a visit from CPS would be a needed, documented, wake up call. I don't think pointing out the behavior to mgmt would do any good, no one is going to hack off a revenue stream, but I definitely don't want this jerk-off around my kid in any capacity.

Want the kid to have a perfect swing? Go for it. Wouldn't surprise me if one day the kid left a perfect divot in the guys skull.

[CARDY]

I would have done exactly what you did

If you won't share what you said to this a-hole ... pls at least let us know how he reacted to be dressed down

[InTheHole]

Yeah man, you brought us to the top of the mountain with this story, don't drop us off the cliff! Tell us the end!

I like to think I would have done the same thing, but I guess you never know until you are faced with that situation.

I also would have pointed out that even if he was a scratch golfer, that doesn't make him a good teacher and money spent at the driving range would be better spent at least in group lessons for the young man. If this guy is not a PGA teaching pro, he has no business teaching golf, even to his kid.

I'll throw my son a few tips now and then, but only if I see something painfully obvious, or something his teacher told me to look out for. I learned my lesson years ago when my father tried to teach me to drive- don't teach your kids... let the professionals handle it.

When we go to the range, we both hit balls- he has his stuff to work on, I have mine.

[fengdefied]

So what happened after this "conversation?"

[jeffblais09]

being 18 myself, ive seen my fair share of psycho parents on the golf course. this one kid who is about 7 or 8, who plays alot of golf at the club where i work, has a dad very similar to the one mentioned in this post. i watched one day as this kid and his dad were on the 18th green for about 20 min, his dad made him hit about 40 shots out of a bunker about 15 yards from the flagstick. now im all for practice, but this was a bit absurd. his dad had him putting, chipping and just hitting weird shots, yes this would be great, until about 10 min in where the old man starts tripping after every shot that wasnt within 5 feet which was many. now mind you this kid is a very good player for being the age he is especially on this course which is basically tour level difficulty. after the kid would hit his 10 balls out, his dad would start to curse and very aggressively sling the balls back at his son, while in the mean time im watching noticing the kid is getting more and more heart broken by the second, then after the 3rd or 4th set of balls the dad winged one at his kid that nailed him square in his side as he was setup to hit another ball. the kid begins balling, who could blame him, but his dad just gets more pissed and starts wlking towards him cussing and calling him a little **** and saying hes not aloud to cry cause this wasnt meant to be fun, he was obviously about to hit him. well needless to say after i saw that ball hit the kid i started on my way to confront this *****. just as dear old daddy was within oh id say 5 ft of his son i was within 10ft of this dude, i said stop right there you.... well i wont say what i said but it wasnt nice. as i expected daddy looked at me like he was gonna hit me now, and said to me stay out of this you little f#@& he my son ill do what i want. i said not today cocks$%@!* and i laid his a** out on that green, and basically started mother effing him somethin crazy and telling him he was a disgrace for a father, and if i ever saw him even look at his kid in the wrong way again id make him question his worth in life. i had the kid come up with me to the club house and gave him some ice to put on the spot he was hit, and a coke, the entire time hes balling, but finally settles down. long story short i had another little talk with his dad, and let them be on their way. after all this the head pro of the course approaches me and just tells me he saw the whole thing and he said he was ready to do the same thing i had, and if the dad tried anything he'd have my back all the way, and that we would keep the whole thing hush hush, luckily for me lol. so yeah basically i do not put up with that BS. the dad learned his lesson, cause he basically got his a** handed to him by a kid prolly 25 years ypunger than he. omg i hate that crap, all those parents like that should be committed.................

[Bluefan75]

jeffblais, paragraphs please. It is extremely difficult to follow along. I'm sure you made some good points, but I could not follow it all the way through.

[cmilz99]

Bluefan75, on Oct 5 2009, 10:25 PM, said:

jeffblais, paragraphs please. It is extremely difficult to follow along. I'm sure you made some good points, but I could not follow it all the way through.

thats totally going in my sig....

[Blues Golfer]

The pathetic part about the Dad, is that he did everything, everything possible to ensure failure...which makes me wonder if that was the intention.

The poor kid could be a pawn in a power struggle between the spouses.

Mom may have simply said "you can't play golf unless you take him." The motive of the insane Dad may in fact be to make it so impossible for the kid to play, that he refuses to even go.

Barring that, the display of ignorance is staggering. There is so much information and instruction out there about how to get kids into sports the right way...and borax brain decides to use the techniques of a 1947 high school football coach.

Pa the tic.

[ochoa88]

Some people are crazy. When I have kids, I want them to pick up the game and enjoy it. The only thing I'd wanr is for them to win 100 times on the PGA Tour and win 25 majors.

[QWKDTSN]

Jeffblais, that's a great story. I don't mind at all that you didn't use paragraphs. Reading it was captivating and I felt my own blood pressure rising. I have been playing this game for very little time and have already been in some confrontations on the course. I have seen a dad who was a little hard on his kid, but nothing like what you described. I wouldn't hesitate to cold knock someone out that was treating their innocent 7 year old child that way.

[JRC101]

I cant stand parents who try and live their sports dreams through their children. At one of the driving ranges i go to their is an old chinese man who "makes" his son practice everyday for three hours. He usually just drops him off and picks him up later. Which would be okay.... if he enjoyed it. But he doesn't, i talk to him every now and then when im leaving and 99% of the time he seems depressed to be out there.

Sometimes he will stay and watch him (and he is a nice enough guy). But he gives him no instruction, just makes him keep hitting them. Like he is going to majicly start swinging correctly. One day when he is not there i may step in and help the kid.

[WMfan1994]

there was a kid who played on my middle school team when i was in 7th grade, he was in 6th grade. the kid was a very talented golfer (38.5 average). at the end of the regular season in our last regular match, his dad yelled at him so badly that he ran off the course crying. his dad threw his clubs away. why? because the dad found out that i had a better average than the kid (37.2). the dad felt that his son worked so hard that no one should ever be better than him. at try outs the next year, i noticed that the kid wasn't there. when i talked to him the next day, he said that he hadn't played since the day of our district championships because his dad made him quit. he said that his dad was sooooo mad at him for having a really bad day on the course when it mattered a lot and wouldn't let him play again.
that is really sad and it's too bad that this kid could have been a star if his dad wasn't so hard on him. (his dad was a 25 hdcp)

i have the kid over at my house a lot and me and my dad take him out to the course sometimes and let him borrow some of my back-up clubs. he isn't nearly as good as he was before, but at least he is playing some. his dad still won't take him out to play.

[golferboy73]

As a junior player on the state level for several years, I've seen a good nuber of wacky parents, but nothing like that. Congrats to you for letting him have it.

[golfingchuck]

I'm in the same boat as all of you guys!! I have 2 boys 2 and 5. The oldest likes to go with me and will hit on the range and i'll let him hit a shot in the fairway and then let him putt out on the green. I grew up with a guy who's dad was like that one guy but we played baseball together. I have never seen anything like this at our club but God help someone who would do that at our course because he would have a few dads on there a$%.

Still would love to hear the conversation that you had with this yahoo!!