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Ugly divorce


77 replies to this topic

#31 llewol007

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 12:11 AM

I commend you for taking the time to share a heartfelt breakup that sounded like it needed to be done a long time ago. You my friend need to be a single for a little bit of time and really play the random pairing card. Scary at first but it sounds like you have a lot to offer. Most people dont understand that pairings like a twosome takes a lot of give and take but in your case, it sounded like you give and give and give and give while your playing partner really took you for granted. Try not to ignore the text messages completely but be cordial about it and say you need some space. Maybe two or three rounds, who knows, but a much need break is needed. You need to look out for your own good. 5 hour rounds is about an hour and a half too long depending on who you ask. Surround yourself with solid players and dont take advice from those singles out there telling you that playing alone is awesome. Every single needs a companion. Heck, who is gonna vouch for your hole in one if you dont have a solid partner to back up your story. Good luck and as they say, keep your head up, your drives straight and your balls clean.

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#32 DavePelz4

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 01:37 PM

You should join a golf meetup group and see if there is someone you'd want to play around with.

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#33 Krt22

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 02:03 PM

We might need to have an intervention with one of our regular partners for similar reasoning.

Did you not try counseling first?

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#34 Jackal

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 02:09 PM

Maybe  he'll  get help. He can join a support group.
"Hi my name is _________, and I'm  a slow play  golfer.
You can always join a match up group.

🎶🎵🎼🎼🎵🎶🎶 You don't  have to be lonely at Golfersonly.com!!! 🎻🎼🎵🎶🎵🎼

Edited by Jackal, 19 November 2018 - 02:10 PM.


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#35 putts4bogey

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 02:29 PM

Hopefully you at least remain players with benefits and can hook up on occasion for that carefree, wild, no strings attached round.  Those can be crazy fun.

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#36 dave willie

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 02:49 PM

it's hard to find partners that play a complementary game with yours, i,e, shoot similar scores, have similar parameters about betting, and play at a comfortable pace. I had to exit a group because a couple of the guys drank way too much and got unruly when drunk, especially when their game wasn't working.  Sometimes you just have to move on.  Good luck finding a new group.
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#37 CircleC29

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 04:19 PM

View PostJackal, on 19 November 2018 - 02:09 PM, said:

Maybe he'll get help. He can join a support group. "Hi my name is _________, and I'm a slow play golfer. You can always join a match up group. �������������� You don't have to be lonely at Golfersonly.com!!! ������������

Could be a new golf dating app, Pinder :golfer:
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#38 sandtrap

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 05:01 PM

One of the guys I play with, I’m rooting for every shot to go in the hole so I don’t have to watch the pre shot routine again

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#39 Schulzmc

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 05:31 PM

I actually help couples work on relationships as a part of my job. One thing I have learned... it is NEVER just one person's fault.

My guess is that YOU have contributed to the 5+ hour rounds in some way. Did he grind over an 8" putt because you laughed at him when he missed one at some point? Is he taking 6 practice swings so that he can get the vision of your swing out of his head before playing? Does he have to search for a lost ball because you never help him track his shot from the tee?

I'd advise some serious self-reflection before you enter another relationship or you will be right back here posting again in a year or two.

:)

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#40 DavePelz4

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 05:44 PM

View PostSchulzmc, on 19 November 2018 - 05:31 PM, said:

I actually help couples work on relationships as a part of my job. One thing I have learned... it is NEVER just one person's fault.

My guess is that YOU have contributed to the 5+ hour rounds in some way. Did he grind over an 8" putt because you laughed at him when he missed one at some point? Is he taking 6 practice swings so that he can get the vision of your swing out of his head before playing? Does he have to search for a lost ball because you never help him track his shot from the tee?

I'd advise some serious self-reflection before you enter another relationship or you will be right back here posting again in a year or two.

:)

Maybe he went full metal Costanza and said..."It's not you it's me."


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#41 Hawkeye77

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 05:59 PM

 DavePelz4, on 19 November 2018 - 05:44 PM, said:

 Schulzmc, on 19 November 2018 - 05:31 PM, said:

I actually help couples work on relationships as a part of my job. One thing I have learned... it is NEVER just one person's fault.

My guess is that YOU have contributed to the 5+ hour rounds in some way. Did he grind over an 8" putt because you laughed at him when he missed one at some point? Is he taking 6 practice swings so that he can get the vision of your swing out of his head before playing? Does he have to search for a lost ball because you never help him track his shot from the tee?

I'd advise some serious self-reflection before you enter another relationship or you will be right back here posting again in a year or two.

:)

Maybe he went full metal Costanza and said..."It's not you it's me."

As God is my witness was just about to tell OP he's the opposite of George, as in "It's all you, not me", lol.

So sad when good love goes bad.

Cue OP and his bud splashing on the beach like Rocky and Apollo just a few short weeks ago.

I'm slipping the starter $20 to put OP behind his ex every Saturday morning on the tee sheet.

Just kidding, no fun I guess to part ways - luckily my baby just walked in a few minutes ago and still luuuvvvs me - although it was literally a minute after she got home she uttered her first "your f'in dog" - the puppy plays her like a fine violin!
"We've Got That Holiday Feeling!"

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#42 Hawkeye77

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 06:02 PM

Who could bear him any ill will?  I ask you!

And 5-4-3-2-1 .... before a rules geek (rightly) asks what the heck does this have to do with the rules?  Meaning OP, not the puppy.

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Edited by Hawkeye77, 19 November 2018 - 06:05 PM.

"We've Got That Holiday Feeling!"

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#43 Hawkeye77

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Posted 19 November 2018 - 06:07 PM

 DavePelz4, on 19 November 2018 - 01:37 PM, said:

You should join a golf meetup group and see if there is someone you'd want to play around with.

Or just give up golf and hit up Farmers Only for a new field to plow, melons to harvest, etc.
"We've Got That Holiday Feeling!"

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#44 DavePelz4

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Posted 20 November 2018 - 10:47 AM

 Hawkeye77, on 19 November 2018 - 06:02 PM, said:

Who could bear him any ill will?  I ask you!

And 5-4-3-2-1 .... before a rules geek (rightly) asks what the heck does this have to do with the rules?  Meaning OP, not the puppy.

Great pic of Linus Hawk!  He's all grown up!

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#45 2bGood

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 10:57 AM

If you are looking for a new partner you might want to try 'Grinder'. Looks like it is a great way to meet other golfers who will never give up on a round.


Posted Image

Edited by 2bGood, 21 November 2018 - 10:57 AM.


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#46 Llortamaisey

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 11:03 AM

 2bGood, on 21 November 2018 - 10:57 AM, said:

If you are looking for a new partner you might want to try 'Grinder'. Looks like it is a great way to meet other golfers who will never give up on a round.

I have to respectfully disagree. Grindr is a pain in the butt.

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#47 eric13

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 11:12 AM

You won’t have any trouble.  On the other hand he may have to switch teams

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#48 DavePelz4

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 12:03 PM

Are you sad this will be your first holiday apart?

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#49 hybrid25

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 01:58 PM

Regardless of who is at fault or whatever, it's very difficult sometimes to find a compatible golf partner. Some golfers are too slow, some talk too much, some have horrible swings, some complain all the time about their shots, some give too much advice, e t c, e t c.

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#50 cwglum

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 02:24 PM

Enjoy everything about this thread ... wondering what the movie trailer for the bar side breakup would've panned out like.  Is the background music Chicago everybody needs a little time away, or Skillet it's not me it's you ??


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#51 spud3

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 05:28 PM

Now comes the hard part:

separating out the albums and cd's.......
"take that, you miserable
little white swine!"

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#52 ScratchyDawg

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 08:03 PM

I feel your pain, but took a different route....

I'm a former teaching pro. My "boss" (long time friend who I now work for) took up golf about 5 years ago. He wanted to play more golf, so he always asked me to play with him. He was terrible. He literally stood frozen over the ball for about 45 seconds before taking a backswing. Then he'd take at least 10 mulligans a round, never count penalties, and miss a putt from 5 feet and keep trying until he made it. Somehow, he always broke 100 🤔.5 hours on a good day.

I knew there was no way out since I had to see him every day. He wanted to get better, so I talked him into letting me build a simulator in our warehouse. In our spare time, we worked on his game. He was very stubborn, but he finally started to listen.

I've been patient. It's taken a few years, but he's finally legitimately shooting in the low 90s. We're even starting to let other people join in. 😏
"Give up control to gain control" - George Knudson

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#53 DavePelz4

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Posted 21 November 2018 - 08:26 PM

 spud3, on 21 November 2018 - 05:28 PM, said:

Now comes the hard part:

separating out the albums and cd's.......

Not to mention the shafts, putters, golf friends...

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#54 dropkicked

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 11:23 AM

What I find helps is Cannabis (Canada!).. Cannabis helps to ease this pain... but no more than 18mg  :)

https://www.golfdige...n-investigation

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#55 Lagavulin62

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 12:11 PM

Sorry to say you have many disappointing dates ahead on Golfmatch.com. , where every story is a lie and photos are at least 10 years old. Online dating is really the pits. My advice, give Golfup.com a try. Hard to fake a handicapp in person.


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#56 Hawkeye77

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 12:44 PM

 Swisstrader98, on 18 November 2018 - 11:04 PM, said:

I have the same situation but donít have the heart to look said friend in the face and says itís over.

Too close a friend yet too painful to play sometimes. Had a million discussions from trying to be humorous about the situation to a heart to heart over many dinners, but he remains clueless and in denial.

Duh, he's getting dinners!
"We've Got That Holiday Feeling!"

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#57 bigchucksr

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 01:24 PM

Play the field for awhile, enjoy the freedom, even might want to think about engaging in a threesome!  Oh yeah, one more thing, if any of the potential new things is over sixty and has iron covers--avoid like the plague.

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#58 DavePelz4

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 02:03 PM

So how was it at the Thanksgiving table yesterday?  Did you have to tell everyone of the split?  Did everyone then jump in and say "you're better off without him, we never liked him anyway!"

Or after too many Old Fashions, did Aunt Hazel say it must have been your fault because you only hit 205 yard 7 irons?

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#59 jimb6golf

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 05:17 PM

Know the feeling. Played with 3 guys for years and then 2 dropped out and we replaced them with one other guy. Nice guy but can't stand playing with him. Multiple balls off each tee then shooting double digits on most holes but saying he shot a 6 or 7. End up walking off 18 so passed off I can't wait to leave. Just not a fun situation and it had to change. Again I can sympathize.

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#60 FourTops

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Posted 23 November 2018 - 07:16 PM

 Carl Spackler3, on 18 November 2018 - 12:09 PM, said:

Well it just had to be done, no body's fault really.... these things happen.......it not you it's me......
Had to tell my playing partner it's over. We played our last round, went the bar, I looked long into his eyes and told him. You're a great guy but we can't play golf together anymore.  There were lots of emotion but the bandaid needed to be ripped off. I told him life is too short for 5 hr rounds lining up 8" puts. Told him I deserve not having to watch his  six practice swings, the constant ball searching, the endless parade of people I have to let play through. I had to tell him that I'm getting older and rounds were passing me by.  After some discussion of joint custody of the beer cooler and the alignment sticks, we parted quietly into the dark. I hope there's someone out there for me

NEVER FEAR CARL!!! May I suggest a friend who putts fast, hits well, and doesn't take any practice swings?.

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