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#1 jigsaw1011

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 05:48 PM

My son played a tournament yesterday.  He finished his round and his score was posted.  He was doing his stretches (has a back condition that requires certain stretches) by a table outside of the clubhouse.  I went to pick my water bottle off the table.  As I approach, I see a mother talking to a tournament official.  For some reason, I have a feeling they are discussing my son (they are looking his way).  After she leaves, I ask the official if there was a problem.  He said the mom claimed my son didn't report his score correctly for his last hole and was cheating.

I speak with my son and he tells me his score which his playing partner had confirmed before attesting to the scores at the table. In addition, the chaperone for the group and scorekeeper confirmed his score was correct. I spoke to him after the incident.

For these tournaments parents are not allowed to spectate.  They are lax about enforcing this rule when it comes to the last hole because parents are waiting for their kid's group to finish. This mother (her son came in second to my son finishing first) is waiting at the last hole and this is supposedly where she saw the incorrect scoring happen.  

My son loves the game of golf and is a boy of integrity.  I am angry she tainted his reputation with the tournament officials and other people she may have spoken to without having any facts. My son is very upset as well.  


Has anyone ever dealt with something like this before?  How would you proceed? We will be seeing her and her son for the rest of the summer at various tournaments.

Edited by jigsaw1011, 13 July 2018 - 06:00 PM.


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#2 Bushwood Country Club

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 06:06 PM

I would tell my son I planned to confront her publicly before the next tournament in front of her son, and inform her that she was out of line AND that the scores were certified by the players and the chaperone.

I’d also remind her golf is a game of integrity, and that parents arent allowed to spectate in the league

And then I’d ask him how he feels about my plan and see what he says...

Edited by Bushwood Country Club, 13 July 2018 - 06:06 PM.

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#3 leezer99

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 08:24 PM

I'd tell her to have a Coke and a smile and...

Not really, that's some keyboard courage. I'd just ask my son if he got the score that's recorded and move on.  Let him know that there will always be nosey parents that think their kids should have won and he's just got to be diligent about scores and following the rules. The other kid had 8 or 17 other holes to score better on.

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#4 BertGA

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 08:40 PM

So what did the rules official do? Did he carry her complaints over to your son, and acccuse him of misdeeds? Or did he simply acknowledge her accusation, and remind her that his score was signed for, certified by the marker and chaperone, and that reports of infractions by spectators is not welcome in this league?Did your son’s score stand, and did he win the tournament?

If it’s the latter, I’m not confronting the parent...this time. I would thank the rules official for following the policy and trusting that your son, the marker and the chaperone all followed the rules. I would then explain to my son that there will always, always be people in this world that attempt to bring you down with lies and false accusations. You can’t always prevent this from happening, but as long as you follow rules, act honestly and carry yourself with integrity, you should prevail most every time.

If that ever fails, you can teach hm the more aggressive, confrontational methods to defend his actions. I’m not a very confrontational guy, so I tend to save that for last. In my mind, unnecessary confrontations end up making both parties look bad. As long as your son got the well-deserved win, the two lessons in my mind are to stay true to course/don’t let distractions discourage you, and to watch that family like a hawk.



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#5 TigerMom

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Posted 14 July 2018 - 07:20 AM

What age group was your son playing in?

Was this a US Kids tournament?

My daughter played in a US Kids tournament in the Girls 7-under group and rules were hardly being enforced it seemed

For example, a girl swung and missed and said it was a "practice swing"

Incidental contact with ball which caused it to move without calling a penalty

Very loose counting of strokes

When does it start becoming more serious in terms of enforcing rules?


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#6 jigsaw1011

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Posted 14 July 2018 - 09:56 AM

The scores were not changed because the players and scorekeeper all agreed on the score my son recorded.  He did,indeed, place in first.

This was not a USKG tournament but one run by our section's PGA.  There are no caddies and no spectators. She was breaking the rules by spectating.

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#7 bwbw

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Posted 14 July 2018 - 11:14 AM

I would confront her, politely, and remind her:

1.  Her son agreed with the score.
2.  The person on the course with the group agreed with it as well.
3.  She is not allowed to spectate or mettle.  Next time you will lodge a complaint with the tour director.

Edited by bwbw, 14 July 2018 - 11:17 AM.


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#8 jigsaw1011

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Posted 14 July 2018 - 11:36 AM

Thanks for everyone's feedback.

Just to clarify -- her son was not in my son's group. Her son is in the same division. She was watching groups on the last hole and my son happened to be in a group she observed.

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#9 dlc1914

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Posted Today, 10:28 AM

View Postjigsaw1011, on 14 July 2018 - 11:36 AM, said:

Thanks for everyone's feedback.

Just to clarify -- her son was not in my son's group. Her son is in the same division. She was watching groups on the last hole and my son happened to be in a group she observed.

Say nothing.  Keep it moving   Why deal with "her" problem?  Focus on you and what you can control.  To hell with everything else.

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#10 cardoustie

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Posted Today, 11:00 AM

She's trying to get in your son's head

I would actually talk to her nicely when I next saw her and tell her to mind her own business .... and that she was completely out of line.

The cheating stories up here are epic in junior events, parents dropping balls in the rough for their kids etc etc

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#11 kekoa

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Posted Today, 11:33 AM

Although she has no real business doing so, I guess she can question your son's score, but calling him a cheater is flat out disgusting.  There is a reason parents aren't allowed to spectate these events.  It is the player's responsibility to officiate and score themselves.

Personally, I would let it blow over this time, but if it happens again the mom definitely needs to be put in check.  During our IMG tournament a few weeks ago, I could not believe the amount of arguing among golf parents.  A few of the arguments almost escalated and got physical.  It was not only the dads either.  The Mom's were very feisty.
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#12 heavy_hitter

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Posted Today, 11:44 AM

View Postkekoa, on 20 July 2018 - 11:33 AM, said:

Although she has no real business doing so, I guess she can question your son's score, but calling him a cheater is flat out disgusting.  There is a reason parents aren't allowed to spectate these events.  It is the player's responsibility to officiate and score themselves.

Personally, I would let it blow over this time, but if it happens again the mom definitely needs to be put in check.  During our IMG tournament a few weeks ago, I could not believe the amount of arguing among golf parents.  A few of the arguments almost escalated and got physical.  It was not only the dads either.  The Mom's were very feisty.

Rumor has it there was a fight in the parking lot between dads at The Future Master's.

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#13 dpb5031

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Posted Today, 11:52 AM

Hahahaaa...the things I no longer miss about junior golf (though most of our experiences were actually very good)!

I did threaten to throw another dad in the bay once...lol (daughter playing US Kids at Seaview in Atlantic City), but I dont want to derail the thread.😁


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#14 kekoa

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Posted Today, 11:54 AM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 20 July 2018 - 11:44 AM, said:

View Postkekoa, on 20 July 2018 - 11:33 AM, said:

Although she has no real business doing so, I guess she can question your son's score, but calling him a cheater is flat out disgusting.  There is a reason parents aren't allowed to spectate these events.  It is the player's responsibility to officiate and score themselves.

Personally, I would let it blow over this time, but if it happens again the mom definitely needs to be put in check.  During our IMG tournament a few weeks ago, I could not believe the amount of arguing among golf parents.  A few of the arguments almost escalated and got physical.  It was not only the dads either.  The Mom's were very feisty.

Rumor has it there was a fight in the parking lot between dads at The Future Master's.

Not to threadjack, but one great thing about the IMG tournament is they have a zero tolerance for over coaching and any disruptive behavior by parents.  A friend of mine got thrown out of the tournament after the first day for arguing with his son and making him play driver only for a few holes.  :stop:
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#15 leezer99

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Posted Today, 12:12 PM

I had to tell a dad of a kid we played with last week that he couldn't stand behind his kid and video while he was teeing off.  Tried to tell me he was off to the side which was BS since I found him on IG with videos posted of the swings.

Once a parent starts getting defensive like that I know they are there to win at any cost.  He could have easily proven me wrong by showing me the video on his phone but didn't.


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#16 heavy_hitter

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Posted Today, 12:15 PM

View Postleezer99, on 20 July 2018 - 12:12 PM, said:

I had to tell a dad of a kid we played with last week that he couldn't stand behind his kid and video while he was teeing off.  Tried to tell me he was off to the side which was BS since I found him on IG with videos posted of the swings.

Once a parent starts getting defensive like that I know they are there to win at any cost.  He could have easily proven me wrong by showing me the video on his phone but didn't.

I have never been to a tournament where they allow you to video.

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#17 wildcatden

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Posted 44 minutes ago

Played in a local last week where the dad was laying a club down as alignment parallel to the ball for every shot (putts included).  The kids are 7.  I asked him after the round if he was going to be taking his kid to any USKG Regionals this year. He said "yes". I then gently reminded him that it was illegal to use the club for alignment and that he would definitely get called on it at a regional/state/worlds event.  We'll see what happens at this weeks local.

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#18 wildcatden

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Posted 34 minutes ago

View Postheavy_hitter, on 20 July 2018 - 12:15 PM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 20 July 2018 - 12:12 PM, said:

I had to tell a dad of a kid we played with last week that he couldn't stand behind his kid and video while he was teeing off.  Tried to tell me he was off to the side which was BS since I found him on IG with videos posted of the swings.

Once a parent starts getting defensive like that I know they are there to win at any cost.  He could have easily proven me wrong by showing me the video on his phone but didn't.

I have never been to a tournament where they allow you to video.

Yeah, I thought only spectators could video at most and they are supposed to stay a certain distance away (25 yards or more?).

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#19 Rory4Pres

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Posted 26 minutes ago

Man...crazy.  Send the mother a couple pictures of the trophy asking whether it looks better on your mantel or as a centerpiece on your dinner table.

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#20 hangontight

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Posted 24 minutes ago

I think that USKG should require any caddy parent  to go through one time quick rule primer with the tour director  before they are allowed to caddy.  Thy dont need to go through every rule,  bit just highlight these common offenses and emphasize why its importabt for all players to play by the same rules and there is no oh its OK, they are just learning attitudes.  I honestly think that a lot of the parents who breach these obvious rules really are not golfers themselves and just dont understand.  They dont get the principle of protecting the integrity of the field or the fact that yes, some of the rules are dumb but we still need to follow them.


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#21 JohnnyCashForever

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Posted 21 minutes ago

 heavy_hitter, on 20 July 2018 - 12:15 PM, said:

 leezer99, on 20 July 2018 - 12:12 PM, said:

I had to tell a dad of a kid we played with last week that he couldn't stand behind his kid and video while he was teeing off.  Tried to tell me he was off to the side which was BS since I found him on IG with videos posted of the swings.

Once a parent starts getting defensive like that I know they are there to win at any cost.  He could have easily proven me wrong by showing me the video on his phone but didn't.

I have never been to a tournament where they allow you to video.

Not saying this is a bad rule, but why the prohibition?  Just curious...

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#22 heavy_hitter

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Posted 21 minutes ago

 wildcatden, on 20 July 2018 - 12:49 PM, said:

 heavy_hitter, on 20 July 2018 - 12:15 PM, said:

 leezer99, on 20 July 2018 - 12:12 PM, said:

I had to tell a dad of a kid we played with last week that he couldn't stand behind his kid and video while he was teeing off.  Tried to tell me he was off to the side which was BS since I found him on IG with videos posted of the swings.

Once a parent starts getting defensive like that I know they are there to win at any cost.  He could have easily proven me wrong by showing me the video on his phone but didn't.

I have never been to a tournament where they allow you to video.

Yeah, I thought only spectators could video at most and they are supposed to stay a certain distance away (25 yards or more?).

Usually 50 yards.

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#23 kekoa

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Posted 7 minutes ago

 heavy_hitter, on 20 July 2018 - 01:03 PM, said:

 wildcatden, on 20 July 2018 - 12:49 PM, said:

 heavy_hitter, on 20 July 2018 - 12:15 PM, said:

 leezer99, on 20 July 2018 - 12:12 PM, said:

I had to tell a dad of a kid we played with last week that he couldn't stand behind his kid and video while he was teeing off.  Tried to tell me he was off to the side which was BS since I found him on IG with videos posted of the swings.

Once a parent starts getting defensive like that I know they are there to win at any cost.  He could have easily proven me wrong by showing me the video on his phone but didn't.

I have never been to a tournament where they allow you to video.

Yeah, I thought only spectators could video at most and they are supposed to stay a certain distance away (25 yards or more?).

Usually 50 yards.

Even at the NCAA championships it doesn't look like spectators are 50 yards away.  It looks maybe 25 yards at best.
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