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How deep are you in a golf life?


38 replies to this topic

#1 Blues Golfer

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 02:21 PM


My life is at a fork in the road.

I can go deep golf, or I can pull back and still be a golfer, just not deep golf.

Deep golf means...golf 4-7 times a week. Keep my club membership, live in an apartment, hire a female companion when I need one but stay clear of relationships with them, and see how much golf I can play and how much gin I can drink.

Or, I can let my membership lapse, play golf 5-6 times a month at most, buy a house, look for an actual spouse.  You know, normal.

I am looking for comments from guys that are deep golf, or chose not to be.  If you relate to my question, you know why I am asking.

Fairways and greens boys.



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#2 DavePelz4

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 02:23 PM

Why not find a woman that likes to golf as much as you do?  Maybe she'll like other activities, too.

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#3 Lefty431

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 02:27 PM

Hire a female companion??  And where is "deep golf" going to get you in life?  PGA tour?  At some point I imagine you'd reach a burnout point, unless playing golf is your career or source of income! I love to play, but 7 times a week?  Sounds like a dream and a nightmare all at the same time!

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#4 warrio17

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 02:31 PM

Go Deep!!! Spouses will eventually ruin course time. Buy Circle T's and have a swing simulator in a spare room!!


I'm married with three boys under 5. I get out twice a month if I'm lucky.

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#5 Skaffa77

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 03:04 PM

Is this thread for real?  Excess golf and gin sounds like fun, but it's like fish...great when it's fresh, but after awhile...it can stink.

I tell various people about my experience with excess golf and a bad marriage...in the hopes that some folks will learn from my experiences vs. learning the hard way.  My obsession with golf didn't cause the bad marriage...ironically, I believe the bad marriage is what drove me to excess golf.  Nearly every weeknight (outside of those nights with softball or volleyball leagues), I was either playing twilight golf alone or spending countless hours at the range.  Usually on the weekend...there was a minimum of 18 holes of golf, but often 36+ holes. Work, gym, golf, sleep...that was the pattern.  I poured myself into the obsession and expected to reap the fruits of my labor.  When I had a bad hole or round...my life was miserable because golf was the only thing I could look forward to and if I wasn't scoring well...I felt cheated by the game that consumed so much of my time and effort.

When I finally got divorced, I figured I'd play and practice even more...squeeze every ounce of myself into my golf obsession.  A funny thing happened...I met some other divorced guys who helped me get through the separation and I found less and less of an urge to play golf as often.  I figured out that the joy in life is the experiences you share with others (friends, significant other, family).  So golf finally took a backseat to me finding "life".

Now...I'm remarried to a wife that enjoys golf (and trap shooting)...I have good friends that have various hobbies including golf and I feel that urge to play golf more often once again...but I'm almost positive it won't be to the same obsession level.  What I do know that is that I enjoy the game a whole bunch more than I used to.

I hope you find the answer you are looking for...

Edited by Skaffa77, 05 July 2018 - 04:28 PM.


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#6 2putttom

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 03:06 PM

I'm goin'   deep   boy's
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#7 Dcohenour

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 04:05 PM

View PostBlues Golfer, on 05 July 2018 - 02:21 PM, said:

My life is at a fork in the road.

I can go deep golf, or I can pull back and still be a golfer, just not deep golf.

Based on your definitions, option B sounds a whole lot healthier.
"What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"
"A man's life does not consist in the sum of the things he possesses." to which I would add, including a good golf score.
My 2 cents...YMMV
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#8 Blues Golfer

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 05:29 PM

Awesome answers boys. Thanks!

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#9 wkuo3

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 05:52 PM

Well, it depends on what you have on the second option.  A bad marriage could ruin life.
Don't need to make a decision right now , do you ?

Your first option will always be there, golf ( non-professional ) and drink.... sounds like a young man's dream and an old man's regret.

You are here on earth to have a complete life, unless you have golf as a profession, you'd best off by having a regular relationship.
A hint for you, start looking for a healthy relationship from a healthy place.  Social events, sphere of influence, church , work place, friends ..... there is a cup for every teapot if you give it a chance.  Looking for relationship in all the wrong places will get you the wrong relationship.  You can and will find someone share your value in life.

Trust me, a good woman is way better than all the golf you could play, although all good things needs to be worked on , all the time. It's still better than shooting sub-par rounds .

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#10 FadeFace

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 06:03 PM

Father Time will come knocking and everything you have shut out of your life will start piling up at the door and it will be too late to open it up. Find a happy medium.


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#11 TimV

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 06:12 PM

Deep Golf? Well...

Posted Image

Posted Image

You tell me.  ;)

I do play 3 to 4 times per week year around but I stay away from the gin and have a good relationship with my wife.
She plays Fall, Winter, and Spring but can't handle the Summer heat on the course.
All things are better in balance.
Best of Luck.
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#12 baloo

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 06:49 PM

Keep it balanced. My wife and son make me a lot happier than golf. I'd like to play more than I do, but not at the expense of those relationships.

I agree too that you'd probably get burnt out from "deep golf".

Just my 2. Best of luck.
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#13 hnryclay

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Posted 05 July 2018 - 08:51 PM

All things in moderation. But if you are over 35 go all in on golf. J/K sorta...

Edited by hnryclay, 05 July 2018 - 08:52 PM.


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#14 lke90

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Posted 06 July 2018 - 04:09 AM

Be honest with yourself, if you're scoring very low on regular basis (playing by the rules) and you feel ready to take the leap for professional golf go for it..
In my opinion: it would be reasonable only if it takes 4-6 month of deep golf to fine tuning your skills

otherwise keep golfing on occasional basis.. it won't take you long before you burn out and lose interest in golf by doing it not for money income

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#15 bbp1

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Posted 06 July 2018 - 06:01 AM

View PostSkaffa77, on 05 July 2018 - 03:04 PM, said:

Is this thread for real?  Excess golf and gin sounds like fun, but it's like fish...great when it's fresh, but after awhile...it can stink.

I tell various people about my experience with excess golf and a bad marriage...in the hopes that some folks will learn from my experiences vs. learning the hard way.  My obsession with golf didn't cause the bad marriage...ironically, I believe the bad marriage is what drove me to excess golf.  Nearly every weeknight (outside of those nights with softball or volleyball leagues), I was either playing twilight golf alone or spending countless hours at the range.  Usually on the weekend...there was a minimum of 18 holes of golf, but often 36+ holes. Work, gym, golf, sleep...that was the pattern.  I poured myself into the obsession and expected to reap the fruits of my labor.  When I had a bad hole or round...my life was miserable because golf was the only thing I could look forward to and if I wasn't scoring well...I felt cheated by the game that consumed so much of my time and effort.

When I finally got divorced, I figured I'd play and practice even more...squeeze every ounce of myself into my golf obsession.  A funny thing happened...I met some other divorced guys who helped me get through the separation and I found less and less of an urge to play golf as often.  I figured out that the joy in life is the experiences you share with others (friends, significant other, family).  So golf finally took a backseat to me finding "life".

Now...I'm remarried to a wife that enjoys golf (and trap shooting)...I have good friends that have various hobbies including golf and I feel that urge to play golf more often once again...but I'm almost positive it won't be to the same obsession level.  What I do know that is that I enjoy the game a whole bunch more than I used to.

I hope you find the answer you are looking for...



Amen brother. I could write a slightly different version of the same story. I think golf, unless you are gonna end up being one of the top 100-200 players in the world, is too much of a cold blooded meritocracy. You dont get 35 mil/per(or 1-2mil/per) just for showing up ever. If you are the kind that can let your golf score determine what kind of day your gonna have, and how your gonna interact with people, best to find a way to get at peace with true recreational golf and invest yourself into something else. I'm still not there after 45 years of playing!

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#16 BIG STU

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Posted 06 July 2018 - 02:59 PM

View Postlke90, on 06 July 2018 - 04:09 AM, said:

Be honest with yourself, if you're scoring very low on regular basis (playing by the rules) and you feel ready to take the leap for professional golf go for it..
In my opinion: it would be reasonable only if it takes 4-6 month of deep golf to fine tuning your skills

otherwise keep golfing on occasional basis.. it won't take you long before you burn out and lose interest in golf by doing it not for money income
I can also from experience tell you if you are doing it for a living you can burn out too. I did several times---- I finally gave up Mini Tours and large stakes gambling about 8 years ago--- I am not inclined to practice and play when I want to and play what clubs i want to.

On the personal side of things I have thought long and hard on and really can not give you any advice only thing I can say on that is: I have been with my wife for 33 years married to her for 30 and If I had to do it again I would in a drop of a hat.
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#17 Chris122

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Posted 06 July 2018 - 05:05 PM

Why not just see how much gin you can drink,you'll quickly forget the dilemmas that life poses.....

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#18 myphriendmike

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Posted 06 July 2018 - 10:56 PM

Sounds like your fork is whether to keep the golf membership.  Don’t overthink all these over-serious old men.  Too much golf and gin sounds amazing and you can settle next year.  Plenty of time get serious and post on golf-obsessive message boards about how unimportant golf is, later.

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#19 Chris122

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 02:50 AM

View Postmyphriendmike, on 06 July 2018 - 10:56 PM, said:

Sounds like your fork is whether to keep the golf membership.  Don’t overthink all these over-serious old men.  Too much golf and gin sounds amazing and you can settle next year.  Plenty of time get serious and post on golf-obsessive message boards about how unimportant golf is, later.

Really?

One can only dismiss your post as nonsense because you failed to include 'pretentious'.

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#20 TimV

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 11:52 AM

View Postmyphriendmike, on 06 July 2018 - 10:56 PM, said:

Don’t overthink all these over-serious old men.  Too much golf and gin sounds amazing and you can settle next year.  Plenty of time get serious and post on golf-obsessive message boards about how unimportant golf is, later.

Old man... check
Over-serious? … Duh hell you say.
Golf-obsessive message board... check
Posting that golf is unimportant?... Duh hell you say.

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Modern:
07 Ping G10 (YD) Draw Driver & 4 Wood, 3 & 4 Hybrid, 5-SW w/t Ping Anser Putter

Farcical:
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#21 wkuo3

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 06:02 PM

If I have learn anything from the past, is to take my time and weight out the options.

Each one of us will make decision at times which will lead to life changing events.   If one believes in fairy tale and happily ever after ending without working to get what you want in life will ended up to be, a disappointing old guy at the end of the road.
Time, does not wait for anyone, in that regard we're all equal.  Opportunity will not stand still for you to pick and chose.

Golf membership and gin will always be there, the right relationship will not.  Sounds like you're in a position to acquire property, sure beats paying rent if you could swing it.  If you ever, going to settle down and have a family, don't wait too long, I know because I had difficulty keeping up with my kids when they were young.  I started late, almost 40 when I met my better half.  In a way it might turn out fine since I was more matured and ready to go through what life has to offer.  Had I got married in my 20's .... I'm not certain I could keep things together.

So whatever you decide, go for it without regret, don't look back.  Just take your time to look it over before you leap.

Edited by wkuo3, 07 July 2018 - 06:04 PM.


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#22 SBH9458

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 03:00 PM

Some ageless wisdom herein.

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#23 cardoustie

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 03:16 PM

It's hard because many of us have hobbies we are passionate about but I will say don't go DEEP if you don't have a shot at the tours.

Find other outlets for your energy and spread around your interests.  A lady friend, a nice watch, a nice car, some rare gins, painting, travel, fitness, fishing etc etc.  You get the drift

Retrospectively, I've done too much golf and now at 50 I'm burning out.  These guys that retire and play 6 days are week will not be me, too much time and I think the back the hands and elbows will shut me down eventually.   Right now an hour of quiet range time is as enjoyable as 4 hrs playing 18.  I think I've had a transformation where I want to hit the ball purely as opposed to evaluating my play on final score.   I even enjoy taking out older and less forgiving sticks just for the fun of it.  Has freed me up to try high risk shots and not worry about X's.  Give me a double and let's birdie the next two !

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#24 JShaw

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Posted 10 July 2018 - 02:04 PM

I spent a couple years pretty deep into golf.  During decent weather I'd play 4-6 times per week.  Then I met my future wife.  She encouraged me to play as much golf as I wanted as she knew it made me happy.  For the next few years my golf dropped to 3-4 times per week because I wanted to be home with her more.  Now we're married and I play 3-4 times per month.  She still says I can play as much as I want.  For me I found that as my commitment to golf lessened I was no longer able to play at the level I expected of myself.  It took a while to accept that.  Now I play as much as I want to and I'm reasonably happy with whatever happens.  So, the moral of this story is, I've always gotten to play as much as I wanted to, but now I have an awesome wife to go with it.  The scores have suffered though.

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#25 wkuo3

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Posted 10 July 2018 - 11:09 PM

A serious looking back on my years "deep" in the game of golf.

When I was just exposed to golf from my father, I did not take advantage of his membership to multiple golf clubs.  Sure I hit the driving range with Dad regularly, played a few 9 holes with him but, I was more interested in the Olympic regulation swimming pool and diving pool, tennis courts and bowling alley..  Back then tennis was big and I got on the high school team for a short stint.

Not until I started working for a financial firm after got out of school did I pay more interest in golf..  You see, my office manager and senior V.P. of the firm was a golf nut and a fine athlete ( played college football and a fine golfer ).  He and his right hand man took some of the younger guys in the office out to golf sometime and that's where I got rekindled with the game.  Took some lessons and started to get serious about practicing and getting equipment.

Back then, if I over spend on golf ( green fees and new golf clubs ) it's fine for a single guy.  How deep was I in the game back then ?  I remembered After I bought a new set of Ben Hogan irons and persimmons woods ( more than $1200 + tax ) which was close to half of my monthly income after tax.  No problem, I was so happy to own those shinning golf clubs, I ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwitch for 3 weeks without thinking twice about the decision.

I routinely skip outing to the bar and grill with colleague after work so I could save the green fee and the energy for the game.  I like to be on the golf course than steak and local brew when I had to make a choice , which was not difficult to make.
Back then there was a driving range open 24/7, I had been there many nights when there was a choice to either sit at a bar stool or go hit a few buckets. My buddies could not believe me when I told them I was hitting range balls at 1 A.M. in the morning, and that driving range was 40 minutes away from my residence ( each way ).  Often ran into some restaurant workers and bar tenders when they showed up after they locked up their business.

I had slowed down quite a bit from the game after I met my better half and have a family, then kids came and all the activities with family....... I still managed to get out 40+ rounds each year.  Mostly early early during the weekend mornings.  out around 5-5:30 A.M. and be home around 10 A.M.ish.  still have the whole day to do things with the family and take care of the yard works.
I was much younger and had more energy to go around.

My darkest years was after I turned 54, when, all the old injury came up to me like a tidal wave of debt collectors asking for me to pay back the credit they had extended to me over the years from Martial Arts, track and Field, accidents......... I could not play well for several yeas and was thinking of quitting the game.  Until my physician gave me something to ease the pain , together with a new diet my wife insisted on me, after a few years I'm able to play golf again . pain free.  
Oh, I quit alcoholic beverage, used to drink heavy stuff when I was younger, then moved on to micro brew and wine now I only have maybe a couple of drink with friends and family a few time a year on special occasions.  Did I miss it ?  Sure, but how deep am I into the game of golf ?  I could do without the drinks so I could have a better game.
Crazy, right ?  
Just about anything I could give up for this game except for my family and friends.  I had to draw a line somewhere.

Edited by wkuo3, 10 July 2018 - 11:12 PM.


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#26 TimV

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Posted 11 July 2018 - 03:22 PM

"My darkest years was after I turned 54, when, all the old injury came up to me like a tidal wave of debt collectors asking for me to pay back the credit they had extended to me over the years from Martial Arts, track and Field, accidents......... I could not play well for several yeas and was thinking of quitting the game.  Until my physician gave me something to ease the pain , together with a new diet my wife insisted on me, after a few years I'm able to play golf again . pain free."


That all sounds very familiar, except the pain free part. Pain is still my constant companion. Fortunately it's bearable.
I'm happy it's better for you.

"
Oh, I quit alcoholic beverage, used to drink heavy stuff when I was younger, then moved on to micro brew and wine now I only have maybe a couple of drink with friends and family a few time a year on special occasions.  Did I miss it ?  Sure, but how deep am I into the game of golf ?  I could do without the drinks so I could have a better game. Crazy, right ?  Just about anything I could give up for this game except for my family and friends.  I had to draw a line somewhere"


That's also very familiar. It sounds like we have walked some of the same paths and made the same decisions.


Edited by TimV, 11 July 2018 - 03:23 PM.

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#27 wkuo3

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Posted 11 July 2018 - 06:28 PM

View PostTimV, on 11 July 2018 - 03:22 PM, said:

"My darkest years was after I turned 54, when, all the old injury came up to me like a tidal wave of debt collectors asking for me to pay back the credit they had extended to me over the years from Martial Arts, track and Field, accidents......... I could not play well for several yeas and was thinking of quitting the game.  Until my physician gave me something to ease the pain , together with a new diet my wife insisted on me, after a few years I'm able to play golf again . pain free."

That all sounds very familiar, except the pain free part. Pain is still my constant companion. Fortunately it's bearable.
I'm happy it's better for you.

"
Oh, I quit alcoholic beverage, used to drink heavy stuff when I was younger, then moved on to micro brew and wine now I only have maybe a couple of drink with friends and family a few time a year on special occasions.  Did I miss it ?  Sure, but how deep am I into the game of golf ?  I could do without the drinks so I could have a better game. Crazy, right ?  Just about anything I could give up for this game except for my family and friends.  I had to draw a line somewhere"

That's also very familiar. It sounds like we have walked some of the same paths and made the same decisions.

Perhaps we walked the same path at times.
I'm a stubborn guy once I set my mind on a target, as my wife told my O.P. after my surgery.  O.P. replied "Good, we need that to get him back playing golf again".  Seriously, my wife was prepared for me to become a handicapped person ( without the index ).

Diet really would help you, but it's been slow in giving out rewards.  I had to quit frequent many of my favorite food ( still can have them but not at regularly as I want ).  Took me almost 4 year to start seeing the benefit.
I'm walking the hilly golf course like I did when I was in my 30's and 40's, just can't recover and bounce back from physical exhaustion over night.  They I.D. me for senior discount all the time.

Consult a Registered dietitian nutritionists, to put you on the right track , if you want to , that is.   Some will rather eat whatever they wish instead of a quality life .   Again, how deep was I into golf ?  I will even give up my favorite diet for a better game ( side benefit is I'll probably extend my days a bit longer )

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#28 Dcohenour

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Posted 12 July 2018 - 07:23 AM

View Postwkuo3, on 11 July 2018 - 06:28 PM, said:

Diet really would help you, but it's been slow in giving out rewards.

I would be interested in a "diet" thread. We are going back on the South Beach Diet as soon as "the purge" is completed. (Meaning all of the "treats" are consumed and out of the house) I need to lose an additional 30 pounds. I've lost 30 already since last fall, but need to do more. I think that will help my pain / discomfort alot. Anyway, if someone wants to start a golf diet thread I'm in.
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#29 wkuo3

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Posted 12 July 2018 - 08:21 AM

View PostDcohenour, on 12 July 2018 - 07:23 AM, said:

View Postwkuo3, on 11 July 2018 - 06:28 PM, said:

Diet really would help you, but it's been slow in giving out rewards.

I would be interested in a "diet" thread. We are going back on the South Beach Diet as soon as "the purge" is completed. (Meaning all of the "treats" are consumed and out of the house) I need to lose an additional 30 pounds. I've lost 30 already since last fall, but need to do more. I think that will help my pain / discomfort alot. Anyway, if someone wants to start a golf diet thread I'm in.

There is no secret !  It'll take time for the effort to show up in benefit and even longer to really feel the difference.
And don't touch the branded diet because most of them are too extreme.  


There is no quick fix ( like in golf ), no boxed solution.   But anyone with guidance of a licensed dietitian could get you started with a tailored diet plan suited to your personal condition and needs.

Stay away from processed food.  We can't avoid it completely from everyday life but we can make decision to do our best.  We eat at home a lot, dinner time is family time and wife would pack lunch for the kids all the way through High Schools ( not many other parent did this as I understand it ).  Even when kids gone to higher education she still pack them food in containers for them to take it back to the dormitory for the week.  Yes, we still eat out, but I can count on my two hands how many time in a year we'll visit our favorite restaurants .
Cooking and eating at home is the sure way of getting started, because you can also control the ingredients going into your dish.
Wife will make our favorite dish with modification of the ingredients and spice . Surprisingly with all the Good For You ingredients the taste and the texture came out as good or better than the original recipe with  Less sodium, less fat, little or no red meat.  Choose the certified organic products as much as feasible ( seasonal and financially ).  Wife does not eat beef but she won't bar kids from having a hamburger once in awhile, cooked at home of course so she'll know what's gone into it (Grass fed, free range or certified organic ).

Home cooking and prepare it from scratch is the way we did it .  Everyone could learn to cook and it does take time for preparation and cooking, but that's the effort we put into in order to have a quality life.   Eventually one might even enjoy the culinary art, and having a great time spent with family.  We've been shopping and cooking for the following week on every Saturday for years.  Thanks to my wife whom was just okay around the kitchen when we got married but she learned quickly and willing to do things for the kids and I.  We were very lucky to have her, of course, we all pitched in to help.

Edited by wkuo3, 13 July 2018 - 01:44 PM.


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#30 Matt97GT

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 11:59 AM

this thread makes me laugh and scared at the same time.


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