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Daughter starting to play


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#1 UMRebel1016

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 11:57 AM

I have read many of the posts in the last few weeks and thought it was time to stop in and say hello.  I have a 9yo daughter.  She has played soccer for several years, but has really taken to golf over the last month.

I do have some questions for everyone.

When did you realize golf wasnít a just a phase for your kid?

Along those lines, would it be wise to hold her back some on her excitement?  She is asking to play golf everyday, watching YouTube videos of kids playing, asking me to film her swing so she can watch it.  I donít want her to get burned out too fast.

Any mistakes you made early that you wish you could redo?  Or just any advice just starting out?

With all that, Iím having a blast with her.  I donít play when she wants to go out,  but we do have putting/chipping contests.  I bought the US kids learning the game lessons 1-3.  She enjoys working towards those pins.  Anything else I can do besides just trying to keep it fun for her?

I have enjoyed reading the posts.  Itís neat to read the post updates where members had children early in golf and now they have grown and are playing at the collegiate level.

I hope to be around for awhile.

Thanks in advance.


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#2 leezer99

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 12:17 PM

Welcome to the most bipolar forum on GolfWRX.  Hope you stick around and continue to share your questions and stories along your journey.  

To answer a couple of your questions...

When was it just not a phase?  To be honest, you can't tell until later probably closer to 13-14.  There's a guy named Wayne Goldsmith who was tasked with identifying and developing Olympians for Australia from 1992 - 2000.  He has been quoted as saying, despite his qualifications, that he can't tell you what your 8 or 9 year old will end up doing.  "This year's swimmer becomes next years footballer that becomes next years basketballer... But I promise you, specializing them too early is a road to doom."

Holding her back... Well, I've got a young lady in the house and if I try to hold her back from anything it only makes her want it more.  Support and encourage.

Mistakes... I've made a few but those are your dues.  

Keeping it fun... play with her!  I think every time my kids and I go to putt it ends up in a game of HORSE.  

Pick yourself up a copy of, Don't "Should" On Your Kid.  Great read.

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#3 tiger1873

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 01:12 PM

When did I know my daughter liking golf wasn't a phase. Even at 7 when I didn't want to go out outside because it was raining or 100 degree heat and she got mad at me.  Everything else prior to that she really didn't care if she did it or not. Also she loved learning about anything golf. It has never let up.

For me the biggest mistake I think I did was taking tournaments too serious.  The first year or two we started to focus on her winning instead of just playing them for fun. I think you need to do tournaments but only do a few of them to start off in.  You better off concentrating them on learning to play well and instruction.

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#4 ANG

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 01:42 PM

My son started playing golf at 11. He played every day and hasn't stopped yet. He now plays D1 on a top 20 school.  The best advise I can give you is START SAVING MONEY NOW!!!  IMO it is by far the most expensive sport. When my kid got serious about it,around 13, that's when the real expense started. Equipment, lessons and incidentals can run a couple grand a year. Tournaments are the real expense.  The local ones are a minimum of $500-$700 each. Out of state can be triple that. Now count on at least 8-12 a year. I could have easily paid for his tuition with the money that I spent.

All that being said I wouldn't trade it for anything. Its an amazing ride full of highs and lows that goes way too quick. Just hold on and enjoy

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#5 hangontight

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 02:57 PM

Welcome.  My son is only 7, but we've been at the golf thing regular since he was around 3 or so...taking it pretty serious (relative to your average 7 year old) since he turned 5 and could start playing US Kids tournaments, so we have a long way to go but I've also learned a lot in the past 4 years as well.  My opinions and strategy have changed, and continue to be I'me sure as time goes on and interest fluctuates.  This forum has been extremely helpful in making sure that I take a long term approach.  Anyway, my opinions and thoughts to your questions:

phase? - who knows, kids seem to have a flavor of the week on everything.  

holding her back - at her age, I say not.  Feed the fire, but let her be the one who pushes, not you.  Her interest will taper off at some point.  I've kind of always gone with the policy that don't ever not take them golfing if they ask to go, and don't ever force her to go if she doesn't want to. Depending how serious she gets in tournaments and whatever, you may consider taking a few months off in an off season.  Last three years we have taken off Fall and 1st half of winter.  So far, he has come back fresh and anxious heading into spring.  

Mistakes - Dont get mad, no scholarships on the line for 9 year olds.  I did too much early on, sometimes still push that line - although now if I get heated its because of attitude issues , not bad shots (although they are highly correlated).

Keeping it fun- games, challenges... you know your kids and what she responds to, find a way to keep pushing her to get better while having fun.  I am big on playing chipping and putting games with my kid.  I can manipulate his competition to challenge him to get get better and keep him engaged, haha.   Get creative to play "games" that make her better and mindless ones that allow her to just beat balls pointlessly. I've found stretching out a small bucket of balls on the rage with a purpose is way more fruitful than beating 150 balls with no point.   Mix up range and course time - even if its just 4 holes in the evening.  A lot of work can get done practicing on course.  Not to mention, the late evenings walking our course and just casually hanging out are at the top of my memory bank so far.  

Good luck!


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#6 heavy_hitter

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 04:15 PM

Have fun with it.  When she starts to excel is when you push her.  My daughter started in the spring of her 7th grade year.  At that time she was 12 (one of the youngest in her class as she graduated high school when she was 17.)  She made the comment the fall of 8th grade she wanted to play on the high school team.  When she said that I knew it was time for instruction and going all in.  She was into dance and drama.  I did it for selfish reasons so I could play.  Two years later I put down the clubs and never really have played since.  I am an ex ole' ball coach.  If she was going to play in high school I was going to do everything I could for her to excel in High School.  It was not going to be a resume sport for college or just something she did.  She was going to go all in.  When she made the comments she wanted to play in high school, she was terrible.  Couldn't break 60 on 9 holes, but she made the commitment to get better.  She played some local one day events and finished last in every tournament she played in throughout the fall of 8th grade.  I knew she would have to venture out and play regional and state wide events.  In January of her 8th grade year I put her in a big event and she came in second to last place shooting in the 100's each day.  Two weeks later she played in a regional event and fared better shooting in the 90's.  By the summer before her freshman year she put up her first round in the 70's.  She played on the girl's golf team and helped her team go to states and finish 3rd.  She was able to go to the high school state tournament all 4 years (twice with team and twice as an individual.).  You have to push them, but there also has to be an inner drive to excel.  

Good luck and if you ever have questions just ask or shoot me a pm.  It is a great journey.

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#7 j.b.newton

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 04:19 PM

Hotty Toddy!  

I hope my young daughter takes up my love of golf...  She is already beating the plastic balls and clubsall over the house to the dismay of mom and dog.

Edited by j.b.newton, 26 June 2018 - 04:19 PM.


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#8 UMRebel1016

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 07:26 PM

View Postleezer99, on 26 June 2018 - 12:17 PM, said:

Keeping it fun... play with her!  I think every time my kids and I go to putt it ends up in a game of HORSE.  
Pick yourself up a copy of, Don't "Should" On Your Kid.  Great read.

We watched a video of Patrick Reed playing a junior at HORSE, except they called it SHH! So we have been doing it as well.  Also picked up the book on the Kindle.  Iíll start it tonight.  Thanks for the recommendation.

View Posttiger1873, on 26 June 2018 - 01:12 PM, said:

Also she loved learning about anything golf. It has never let up.

So far this is my daughter.  

View PostANG, on 26 June 2018 - 01:42 PM, said:

All that being said I wouldn't trade it for anything. Its an amazing ride full of highs and lows that goes way too quick. Just hold on and enjoy

I havenít even wanted to play myself.  I just enjoy being out there and being her ďcaddieĒ.

View Posthangontight, on 26 June 2018 - 02:57 PM, said:

I've kind of always gone with the policy that don't ever not take them golfing if they ask to go, and don't ever force her to go if she doesn't want to.
Not to mention, the late evenings walking our course and just casually hanging out are at the top of my memory bank so far.

I like it.

View Postj.b.newton, on 26 June 2018 - 04:19 PM, said:

Hotty Toddy!  

Hotty Toddy!

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#9 UMRebel1016

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 07:40 PM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 26 June 2018 - 04:15 PM, said:

When she made the comments she wanted to play in high school, she was terrible.  Couldn't break 60 on 9 holes, but she made the commitment to get better.

Did she know she was terrible?  Did she ever get frustrated or discouraged or only motivation?

There is a drive,chip, and putt nearby in a few weeks and I mentioned it to my daughter today.  She said ďsure, sounds like fun?Ē  I have read the DCP thread and understand itís shortcomings, but thought it would be a good way to introduce her to some competition and meet some other girls.

There is also a local USKids tour.  Did I read somewhere that a kid should be able to shoot 60 before signing up for these?  I looked at some of the previous results and there were some pretty high scores.  We are in Mississippi, each tourney only has 3-4 girls competing.  Any reason not to aim for playing in a few of these in the Fall?

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#10 tiger1873

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Posted 26 June 2018 - 08:15 PM

The drive chip and putt is an okay event but donít put much stock into it. I would not drive more then an hour for a local DCP event.  Play and if you advance great but understand at some point luck is just as important as skill.

The us kids events should be good and I would play them. Donít worry about the score just learn to play in tournaments and practice where you need to be to get better.


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#11 BertGA

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Posted 27 June 2018 - 07:36 AM

Plenty of good advice here. I'll add what I know.

We have two kids, both are modestly involved in sports, mostly because we think that's important. If we didn't insist they play some sport, I guarantee my son would just sit around all day and read comics. Point being, we have always looked with envy at the kids with incredibly motivated mindsets towards sports at a young age. That singular focus to spend hours improving, competing and becoming the best at something is rare. I know everyone is different, and my kids have their own wonderful personalities. I certainly don't think accomplishments in sport are the key to a happy life.

Just saying, if your daughter wants to commit her time to golf, don't throttle that back. She may switch sports again in a couple years, and that's fine. Eventually she will find the one that suits her. But coming from a parent who has to convince their kids why practice is important, please let that kid play sports any chance you can.

As for DCP, I think its been a wonderful event for my 9 y/o daughter. I know it's not a realistic predictor of future golf success, and I know it doesn't always send the best person forward. But she tells me she wants to do it, and it gets her out hitting golf balls. I used to play soccer. I was never, ever the best on the team. But sometimes my team won championships. Life is like that.

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#12 chrissdc

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Posted 27 June 2018 - 05:17 PM

Get a good instructor, find the best/well known instructor for juniors in your area and hopefully they are not super expensive. A good instructor makes it fun and inspires comfidence. It doesnít have to be every week, maybe one time a month or so. You donít want any major bad habits to develop. My kid is learning the hard way.
But donít fall in love with an instructor, it is okay to change instructors if your kid is not responding or tuning out.
For the long term, learn the fundamentals of putting and putt as much as possible with the emphasis on making putts. There are many teenage girls who can play great tee to green, but cannot putt at all.
Stress the short game, many junior girls have poor tempo and fundamentals for pitching, and chipping
If there is a First Tee in your area, look into it. Your kid may find friends that will be with them all the way through high school and beyond.

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#13 UMRebel1016

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Posted 28 June 2018 - 08:57 PM

Thanks for all the advice.  Just a little update...

We have played a few holes the past few evenings.  She wanted to play instead of going to the driving range putting.  I looked at the local US kids tour and had her play 150 yrd par 4, 100 yrd par 3, and 230-250 par 5.  She made her first birdie on a par 4 by sinking a 20 ft putt that was lucky to hit the hole.  Then yesterday she made a heck of a pitch shot about 20 yrd s on a par three in the rough over a cart path to a pin position that was only 10 ft or so on the green to about 3 ft and made the putt for par.  She said ‘yes a “birdie”’. I had to explain why a 3 on the first hole was a birdie, but this time a 3 was a par.

She also wasn’t happy when I told her she had an 8 on the par 5. She got a kick out of me calling it a snowman though.

Distance control on the putting is a challenge.

She didn’t want to play today so we took the afternoon off.  Still having fun...

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#14 heavy_hitter

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 08:43 AM

View Postleezer99, on 26 June 2018 - 12:17 PM, said:



Pick yourself up a copy of, Don't "Should" On Your Kid.  Great read.

Excellent read.  Very mind opening.

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#15 UMRebel1016

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 02:57 PM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 02 July 2018 - 08:43 AM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 26 June 2018 - 12:17 PM, said:



Pick yourself up a copy of, Don't "Should" On Your Kid.  Great read.

Excellent read.  Very mind opening.

Actually just finished it last night.  Realized I have already made a few mistakes with soccer, so I hope to approach golf with a new mindset. Thank you for the recommendation leezer.


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#16 heavy_hitter

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 03:08 PM

View PostUMRebel1016, on 02 July 2018 - 02:57 PM, said:

View Postheavy_hitter, on 02 July 2018 - 08:43 AM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 26 June 2018 - 12:17 PM, said:

Pick yourself up a copy of, Don't "Should" On Your Kid.  Great read.

Excellent read.  Very mind opening.

Actually just finished it last night.  Realized I have already made a few mistakes with soccer, so I hope to approach golf with a new mindset. Thank you for the recommendation leezer.

Only a few?  I have made more than that.

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#17 leezer99

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 03:31 PM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 02 July 2018 - 03:08 PM, said:

View PostUMRebel1016, on 02 July 2018 - 02:57 PM, said:

View Postheavy_hitter, on 02 July 2018 - 08:43 AM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 26 June 2018 - 12:17 PM, said:

Pick yourself up a copy of, Don't "Should" On Your Kid.  Great read.

Excellent read.  Very mind opening.

Actually just finished it last night.  Realized I have already made a few mistakes with soccer, so I hope to approach golf with a new mindset. Thank you for the recommendation leezer.

Only a few?  I have made more than that.

HH made all the mistakes.

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#18 heavy_hitter

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 03:40 PM

View Postleezer99, on 02 July 2018 - 03:31 PM, said:

View Postheavy_hitter, on 02 July 2018 - 03:08 PM, said:

View PostUMRebel1016, on 02 July 2018 - 02:57 PM, said:

View Postheavy_hitter, on 02 July 2018 - 08:43 AM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 26 June 2018 - 12:17 PM, said:

Pick yourself up a copy of, Don't "Should" On Your Kid.  Great read.

Excellent read.  Very mind opening.

Actually just finished it last night.  Realized I have already made a few mistakes with soccer, so I hope to approach golf with a new mindset. Thank you for the recommendation leezer.

Only a few?  I have made more than that.

HH made all the mistakes.

Only 50%.  :pimp:

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#19 kekoa

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 03:44 PM

First off, welcome to WRX and congrats on getting your daughter started in golf.

In terms of golf being a 'phase', who really knows.  My kid is only 8 so I can only hope his love for the game continues forever, but only time will tell.  There are just too many things and distractions going on in the world today.

I wouldn't hold back her excitement at all.  Just go with it and have a blast.  I'd recommend connecting with other girls and parents who are your daughter's age.  They can play/practice together which will probably only make her enjoy the game even more.  Not only that, but you will make some great friends along the way.

Mistakes?  I've made several and will make many more.  I would say the only real mistakes that I regret have been made caddying.  I've said some pretty bad things to my son in the heat of the moment that I'm not proud of.

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#20 heavy_hitter

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 03:51 PM

View Postkekoa, on 02 July 2018 - 03:44 PM, said:



Mistakes?  I've made several and will make many more.  I would say the only real mistakes that I regret have been made caddying.  I've said some pretty bad things to my son in the heat of the moment that I'm not proud of.

I think we all have done that.  Funny how kids perspectives are sometimes better than ours.  It is about the process and long term development into becoming the person we want them to be first and as a player second.  Winning in the short term is for parents.


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#21 darter79

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Posted 02 July 2018 - 04:35 PM

I say go for it.  Don't hold her back. Let her play. I would even put her in tournaments. Great way to meet other kids and especially with girls fields are often very small. Numerous time there have been only a few girls playing with my daughter.  You will learn lots of things about junior golf that is completely different than golf as an adult.  Keep it fun as you can!

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