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My poor etiquette cost me :(


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#1 brentkosta

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 01:12 AM

This post is more me telling a story of a recent situation near the end of a good round. I’d also like to mention that I typically do have very good etiquette. This situation was kinda accidental.

Was at a very nice course and playing quite well. 3 over on the round and teeing off on the 15th hole. A 550y par 5.

Waited at the tee for a few minutes while a noobie girl in front of me on the fairway did a few 360* pirouettes totally missing the ball. No big deal, after they finally got (what I thought was) out of range I tee’d up.

I drove it surprisingly far down the middle and walked to my ball. I figured my over 300y drive was due to a favourable roll with the gentle downhill. (I’m a 260 driver). Waited a while again as the foursome ahead of me hacked up the hole. When they were on the green I hit my hybrid. GPS said 240 to the front so I figured best case scenario I’d roll it up and leave it 20 from the green.

Turns out I hit it pin high right rough. Oops. I didn’t even realize until I walked up to search for my ball. As I started searching short and right, the gong show began. They were hot. Understandably so.

I immediately apologized and said I was not a long player typically and have never carried a hybrid that far before.

The apology wasn’t good enough for them apparently. Then the pirouette girl started at me saying I drove over her head on my tee shot. (bull shyt). In hind sight I imagine I probably rolled it up to them.

I apologized again and reaffirmed I didn’t think I could hit that far. She then proceeded to tell me I shouldn’t be on the course if I didn’t know my ranges. Classic coming from her. Apparently she has that pirouette swing dial’d in. Then her bf said, “my wife can hit a hybrid 240, that’s nothing!” I said, no she couldn’t I just watched her miss the ball entirely 3 times in a row and almost fall over in doing so.

She kept mouthing off and the other guy in their group timidly said, “I can even hit it on in 2.” I said, what can I say man, I suck. They kept yapping as they walked off the green and they stood there carrying on so finally I lost my cool and said “get lost... and you better hurry cause I’m driving this next one over your heads too.”

Needless to say, I was rattled. Literally shaking. Par’d out on 15. Tripled 16. Bogied 17 and doubled 18.

Finished with an 81. Terrible considering what should’ve been. I blame myself for the poor etiquette of hitting up on them. But IMO, their behaviour was uncalled for. Even my random partner (a member) said they were out of line. My ex wife was about to go ballistic on the one girl. Oh it was trailer park golf at its best on a real nice track lol. And how was I hitting so far that hole?

Long story short, my own lack of etiquette cost me. Things got away on me real fast  





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#2 Sean2

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 01:25 AM

Well, I like your honesty. If there is any doubt, no matter how minute, that I can possibly hit into the group in front of me...even if the ball just rolls up a bit short of them...I wait. Usually it's only a couple of minutes at the most. I've had a few instances where someone hit a shot and the ball rolls up near where I am. I don't get too upset...it's when the ball lands nears my on the fly that will get my dander up.

That said, you did apologize, you explained the situation, and that should have been good enough. Unfortunately they didn't seem to think so and decided to engage you. At that point, you might have simply said, "Hey, I apologize," and walked away instead of getting into it with them. That is kinda where things got out of control.
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#3 HoosierHacker89

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 01:50 AM

I think the fact that you are golfing with your ex wife makes for a much more interesting story...

In all fairness their behavior was childish as was yours, but I like the fact that you man up and admit your mistakes. A valuable lesson was learned and more importantly no one got hurt. I am sure it won't happen again, and I wouldn't sweat it too much. We all make mistakes and you will finish better next round.
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#4 Popeye64

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 02:05 AM

I have been guilty of playing close to a slow group in front of me, sort of a passive aggressive way of trying to play though, but hitting into them twice in one hole... I personally would have let them vent and kept my own mouth shut.

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#5 Colin L

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 05:58 AM

View PostPopeye64, on 16 June 2018 - 02:05 AM, said:

I have been guilty of playing close to a slow group in front of me, sort of a passive aggressive way of trying to play though, but hitting into them twice in one hole... I personally would have let them vent and kept my own mouth shut.

Twice does seem to suggest slow learning. :)

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#6 LeoLeo99

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 07:41 AM

While the shots into the group ahead precipitated the encounter, it was your reaction to them that caused you to go on tilt.

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#7 cbbaron

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 08:05 AM

I had a similar situation happen 9 years ago when I was a little longer off tee the confrontation made me quit smoking as I thought I was going to have a heart attack
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#8 bigmoneyp

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 08:32 AM

View Postbrentkosta, on 16 June 2018 - 01:12 AM, said:

I drove it surprisingly far down the middle and walked to my ball. I figured my over 300y drive was due to a favourable roll with the gentle downhill. (I’m a 260 driver). Waited a while again as the foursome ahead of me hacked up the hole. When they were on the green I hit my hybrid. GPS said 240 to the front so I figured best case scenario I’d roll it up and leave it 20 from the green.

Or perhaps they weren't as far out as you think.  I feel people get distance wrong a surprisingly high percentage of the time.

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#9 brentkosta

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 10:26 AM

View PostLeoLeo99, on 16 June 2018 - 07:41 AM, said:

While the shots into the group ahead precipitated the encounter, it was your reaction to them that caused you to go on tilt.

Definitely. I was affected by their behaviour. Should’ve been water off a ducks back.
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#10 brentkosta

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 10:28 AM

View Postbigmoneyp, on 16 June 2018 - 08:32 AM, said:

View Postbrentkosta, on 16 June 2018 - 01:12 AM, said:

I drove it surprisingly far down the middle and walked to my ball. I figured my over 300y drive was due to a favourable roll with the gentle downhill. (I’m a 260 driver). Waited a while again as the foursome ahead of me hacked up the hole. When they were on the green I hit my hybrid. GPS said 240 to the front so I figured best case scenario I’d roll it up and leave it 20 from the green.

Or perhaps they weren't as far out as you think.  I feel people get distance wrong a surprisingly high percentage of the time.

Certainly they were closer than I thought on the tee shot. But the approach was clocked on my Garmin.

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#11 Brock Landers

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Posted 16 June 2018 - 10:52 PM

I'm guessing your hybrid was an 18 or 19 degree, I am not a 260 driver and I can hit my 20 degree hybrid 210 -215, so 240 doesn't seem unrealistic.
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#12 lchang

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 12:09 AM

Always better to wait.

Although I do once remember a particular person in the group behind us getting into it with us because we waited on a par five for the green to clear. She made a nasty passive aggressive comment that we should play faster and not wait from so far away. I asked her if she wanted us to hit into the group in front of us (the course was backed up. Everyone was waiting).

That was pretty annoying. But the original point stands. Better to wait. Even if you have an nasty and unreasonable person behind you!

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#13 brentkosta

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 10:14 AM

View PostBrock Landers, on 16 June 2018 - 10:52 PM, said:

I'm guessing your hybrid was an 18 or 19 degree, I am not a 260 driver and I can hit my 20 degree hybrid 210 -215, so 240 doesn't seem unrealistic.

Ya, I think maybe I just never hit my 19* pure... until that round lol. But I think somethings coming together in my swing. I clocked a 300yard drive yesterday as well as a couple 280s.
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#14 brentkosta

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 10:16 AM

View Postlchang, on 17 June 2018 - 12:09 AM, said:

Always better to wait.

Although I do once remember a particular person in the group behind us getting into it with us because we waited on a par five for the green to clear. She made a nasty passive aggressive comment that we should play faster and not wait from so far away. I asked her if she wanted us to hit into the group in front of us (the course was backed up. Everyone was waiting).

That was pretty annoying. But the original point stands. Better to wait. Even if you have an nasty and unreasonable person behind you!

Agreed. I think we just were kicking along at a decent pace and then out of nowhere ran into a group of slow walkers. Definitely I think I was innocently pushing the pace to match what we were already accustomed to.
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#15 jlbos83

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 10:28 AM

While their behavior was uncalled for, I think you hit too soon.  Remember  Planning to hit to 20 yards short of the green with your normal shot is too close, in my opinion.  Waiting to hit to the green was probably not going to speed things up, you were going to be waiting again on the next tee in any case.  Even if you hit what you expected, you'd be sending the message that they were too slow, and needed to get out of the way.

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#16 nsxguy

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 11:13 AM

Don't you have a rangefinder ? If so, couldn't you have shot the girl in the fairway ? If for some reason you couldn't you should have waited.

I don't play as a single and sometimes the RF can't pick up the golfer/cart/whatever but if that was the case I'd be very sure I couldn't reach them (or come close as hearing a ball land 40 yards behind and roll up another 20 or so is disconcerting as well) before I hit.

Having said that, the 2nd shot hybrid was pretty much inexcusable.

Me personally, if I had done that, I would have let them rant once or twice and apologized each time. If they kept it up I'd have probably said something like "Look, I made a mistake. I apologized. What else would you like me to do ?" and not said another word to them. :dntknw:
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#17 FlyingLaw1

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 12:58 PM

We've all messed up before and hit into the group in front. It happens. Most of the time a sincere apology will completely remedy the situation. Sometimes it won't. You really just have to learn from it and know how to deal with it better the next time.

I had a situation a couple years ago on a par 5 (hole #9)... I was in the range where a massacred 3 wood would probably make the green. I hit 6 iron. My ball stopped at least 30-40 yards short of the green. The group putting looks back at me and throws their hands up in the air clearly "barking" at me. I stopped by the pro-shop to fill my water bottle up as I made the turn. The guy behind the desk immediately started to admonish me for hitting into that group. I couldn't believe it.

I explained the situation and luckily the guy in the pro-shop sided with me.

Some people just prefer to be cross. Its usually not worth it to engage them. Apologize and move on.
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#18 Double Gee

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 02:03 PM

When he says his wife could hit a hybrid that far...maybe he's correct, as pirouette girl was his girlfriend!

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#19 Spooky67

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 04:54 PM

F-em. Iím tired of the ďoffended cultureĒ that is so prevelent now. You apologized. Thatís good enough. Everyone seems to be waiting for the next opportunity to express how they have been violated or mistreated.

You apologized and thatís good enough. Humanity should get some thicker skin or stay indoors.

Edited by Spooky67, 17 June 2018 - 05:00 PM.


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#20 vbb

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Posted 17 June 2018 - 06:14 PM

I think it was the two times in one round thing that kind of did you in.  We've all accidentally hit up on a group in front of us thinking they're out of range.  It happens, and when it does, apologize sincerely and move on.  If they don't accept your apology (and you didn't hit them or come close to injuring someone) then that's on them.  The most memorable incident for me is when I actually caught one dead perfect, wind at my back, and drove a 330yd par 4. Rolled right past the hole and through the group that was on the green putting.  Were they mad?  NO!  They actually stayed off of the side of the green when I drove up and apologized, told me great drive, and stayed to watch me try my eagle putt.

I three jacked for par. Haha!


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#21 ArtMBgolf

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Posted 18 June 2018 - 11:24 PM

It's not good to hit 20 yards from someone, even if it's your best shot and it trickles there.
If you drive actually reached them, your 2nd shot pushed them over the edge.

People are going to take out their bad golf frustration on you and not even argue/complain fairly, like the girl can hit it that far, when
she is a beginner wiffer.      When confident you had an accident shot and apologized, sometimes it's better to just let the others say what
they want and ignore them.  Some guys are looking to fight, especially when a wife/GF is involved.

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#22 mshills

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Posted 19 June 2018 - 08:12 PM

Plenty of blame to go around here.

OP, rolling up tight on someone serves no useful purpose.  Twice on the same hole and I would not have been happy either.

That said, you went up and apologized.  That should have been the end of it, so F them for continuing to carry on like that.

As far as your reaction to their carrying on, hey, look, we've all been there.
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#23 Bingo1976

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Posted 20 June 2018 - 01:42 AM

View Postnsxguy, on 17 June 2018 - 11:13 AM, said:

Don't you have a rangefinder ? If so, couldn't you have shot the girl in the fairway ? If for some reason you couldn't you should have waited.

I don't play as a single and sometimes the RF can't pick up the golfer/cart/whatever but if that was the case I'd be very sure I couldn't reach them (or come close as hearing a ball land 40 yards behind and roll up another 20 or so is disconcerting as well) before I hit.

Having said that, the 2nd shot hybrid was pretty much inexcusable.

Me personally, if I had done that, I would have let them rant once or twice and apologized each time. If they kept it up I'd have probably said something like "Look, I made a mistake. I apologized. What else would you like me to do ?" and not said another word to them. :dntknw:

Pretty much this. You are in the wrong. It's understandable that they would be riled up. Apologize twice and then end it. Threatening to do it again on the next hole is going to get you beaten up or worse one day, and also makes you properly in the wrong.
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#24 Twism86

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Posted 21 June 2018 - 02:32 PM

Ive had groups hit up on me a few times in my short golfing career, so its not that uncommon as I see it. What is unacceptable is that of all the times I never heard an audible "fore" or any sort of warning. One of the shots I actually had to track and then dodge it appropriately or else I was getting beaned! It was only once for each of the offending player/groups in the round, had they hit on me a second time in the same round their ball would have found a new home in the woods before they got to it (or my pocket if it was a Pro V).

You apologized, which is more than I got on some occasions. Cooler heads usually prevail in those situations but I can understand each side going off.
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#25 Skaffa77

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Posted 21 June 2018 - 03:04 PM

Here's my rule...group behind me hits into me once...I understand and forgive.  We've all been there and done it.  If it happens again, especially where it could hit me or someone in my group on the fly and it's not a blind tee shot...I'm not going to understand and will not be happy.  

Personally...regardless of the distance, your 2nd shot is what caused the situation to boil over.


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#26 Circaflex

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Posted 21 June 2018 - 04:21 PM

You did what you could OP and apoligized, most people wont even do that. However, this is why I am a firm believer if you are close to your distance just wait for them to leave the green. I swear anytime I ever chose to just hit, I pured it and ended up in a situation like you. On the other I often now wait and chunk it or do something silly only to have people wonder why the heck did this guy wait so long, its almost a lose lose situation. I think the big negative is your comments about ill drive it over your head again. That isn't cool and I know you were caught up in the moment but I wouldve told you to kick rocks and if it happened again there would be a problem.
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#27 brentkosta

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 01:10 PM

View PostSpooky67, on 17 June 2018 - 04:54 PM, said:

F-em. I’m tired of the “offended culture” that is so prevelent now. You apologized. That’s good enough. Everyone seems to be waiting for the next opportunity to express how they have been violated or mistreated.

You apologized and that’s good enough. Humanity should get some thicker skin or stay indoors.

Kinda agree with you. First round of the year, a shanked ball came screaming at me as I was at the tee block. Ofcourse it spooked me but by no means did I flip out on the guy. In fact I chuckled. He was very apologetic. What more could I ask for. Mistakes happen and I’m glad I wasn’t hit.
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#28 bladehunter

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Posted 23 June 2018 - 01:41 PM

View PostHoosierHacker89, on 16 June 2018 - 01:50 AM, said:

I think the fact that you are golfing with your ex wife makes for a much more interesting story...

In all fairness their behavior was childish as was yours, but I like the fact that you man up and admit your mistakes. A valuable lesson was learned and more importantly no one got hurt. I am sure it won't happen again, and I wouldn't sweat it too much. We all make mistakes and you will finish better next round.

My absolute 1st thought as I read that. ď what the F is his ex wife doing here ď?  

Man.  I donít know what to tell you.  Get better friends. A better course and a range finder I guess.

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#29 Spooky67

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 02:15 PM

On the topic of hitting into folks, please make sure you let the group behind you know where you are. Yesterday we caught up with a twosome and followed them for several holes. We purposely slowed up a bit finishing our hole to give them time to get out in front a bit.

Next hole was a 200yd par 3, downhill with part of the hole being obscured by the elevation, but the green and cartpath by the green are visible. I thought that with us slowing up a bit and no one in sight that the group in front was gone. Nope. My tee shot drifted right and into some trees covering the cartpath, and then I see a guy running out from under the trees covering his head. I yelled down that I was sorry and also that I couldn’t see them where they had chosen to stop and park.

Just make sure if you’re playing a hole that’s not fully viewable give the group behind you a way to know you’re there.

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#30 taporsnap17

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Posted 24 June 2018 - 03:53 PM

I don't think it's poor etiquette at all.  It was a error, which OP apologised for.

i do agree though that it's better to be safe than sorry.  Wait the extra 20 to 30 seconds before hitting.  I for one, cannot hit if there's even a hint that I might hit into someone.  It plays into my mind and I'll end up hitting elsewhere


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