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Be Honest - Worst Daddy Caddy Moment


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#1 yellowlover519

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 10:54 AM

Iíve gotten much better over the years but am amazed at the parents that can just support a bad shot or unforced error.  The smile and saying, itís okay Johnny, it happens; Iím still not that parent.  Whether itís missing a layup, failing to grab a routine grounder, or having 4 putts, over the years I have had some regrets on my actions.  Nothing crazy but definitely the yell (ďwhat are you doing!Ē) or letting him know thatís not acceptable via body language.

Now I understand that he isnít defying me and in his mind heís trying to execute.  So that has helped a lot.  But for the people outside looking in, you donít know frustration/stress unless youíre there experiencing it.

I mean, you can make the funniest video of dads taking off their hats in frustration over a number of tournaments.

For the naysayers saying that those bursts are due to living vicariously through your child, I donít think thatís the case.  I think itís the opposite.  I think every parent just wants to see their child succeed so badly in what they do that they have to let them know their feelings.  Same goes for reaction when thereís a bad test grade; thatís somehow acceptable and reaction in sports is not.

But I do believe some people are just built differently and have much better control over their emotions.

My worst moment that I canít erase is getting mad at my son for having 2 4-putts when he was 6.  He was 6!  Whatís the matter with me?!?!?!

Edited by yellowlover519, 18 May 2018 - 11:02 AM.


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#2 leezer99

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:54 AM

A story that was relayed to me the other day...

Kid is playing just ok but dad has really high expectations.  Kid leaves a long putt about eight feet short, dad buries his head in his hands and made some sort of not nice comment... goes over to the kids bag, grabs his hybrid, rips the putter out of his hand and makes him putt out with the hybrid.  Kid is 8... made triple on the hole.

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#3 Baitkiller

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 12:03 PM

Telling my daughter to slide tackle the girl who was scoring at will two years ago at 10. Everyone agreed it was a clean tackle, ball first but she took her out of the tournament. My daughter got carded.
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#4 leezer99

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 01:26 PM

View PostBaitkiller, on 18 May 2018 - 12:03 PM, said:

Telling my daughter to slide tackle the girl who was scoring at will two years ago at 10. Everyone agreed it was a clean tackle, ball first but she took her out of the tournament. My daughter got carded.

I give you a pass...

I did tell my son one time during a basketball game that the small kid keeps driving the lane and scoring any time their coach calls THREE and that he just needed to what he needed to do to stop him even though he was off that kid.  Only took two fouls for the kid to stop trying to run through a kid 20+ pounds heavier than him.

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#5 Belmont148

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 05:52 PM

Y'all realize these are just games, right?

We've had some pretty heated discussions over questionable checkers moves before.

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#6 farmer

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 07:42 PM

"what's wrong with me?"  You're an a** who treats his child poorly.  Anger management, counseling, anti-depressants, whatever, but you will regret the times you went over the top with your child.

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#7 yellowlover519

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 08:17 PM

Farmer - you must be an excellent human being.  Rather than attacking my character or parenting over one example, please share with us your excellent parenting skills and how you’ve created  a supportive environment.  That was the point of my post - I acknowledged parents such as you that never seem to get frustrated or express frustration.

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#8 leezer99

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 08:40 PM

Someone needs to pass out Quaaludes to this group.

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#9 yellowlover519

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 08:45 PM

View Postleezer99, on 18 May 2018 - 08:40 PM, said:

Someone needs to pass out Quaaludes to this group.

Definitely a drink.  Anyone going to Pinehurst this summer?  Would be great to put a face to these ids.

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#10 leezer99

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 09:36 PM

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:45 PM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 18 May 2018 - 08:40 PM, said:

Someone needs to pass out Quaaludes to this group.

Definitely a drink.  Anyone going to Pinehurst this summer?  Would be great to put a face to these ids.
We might if he's interested in a couple of years. Going to Maui instead this summer.


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#11 farmer

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 10:23 PM

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:17 PM, said:

Farmer - you must be an excellent human being.  Rather than attacking my character or parenting over one example, please share with us your excellent parenting skills and how you’ve created  a supportive environment.  That was the point of my post - I acknowledged parents such as you that never seem to get frustrated or express frustration.
You announced what you are.  Plus, you admit to being worse in your past.  Now you want support for what you admit doing.  Every parent gets frustrated with their kids, but not every parent acts out.  Watch Trophy Kids and see what you look like from the outside.  You will regret the times you have been unkind to your children.

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#12 Steele47

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Posted 19 May 2018 - 01:30 AM

View Postfarmer, on 18 May 2018 - 10:23 PM, said:

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:17 PM, said:

Farmer - you must be an excellent human being.  Rather than attacking my character or parenting over one example, please share with us your excellent parenting skills and how you’ve created  a supportive environment.  That was the point of my post - I acknowledged parents such as you that never seem to get frustrated or express frustration.
You announced what you are.  Plus, you admit to being worse in your past.  Now you want support for what you admit doing.  Every parent gets frustrated with their kids, but not every parent acts out.  Watch Trophy Kids and see what you look like from the outside.  You will regret the times you have been unkind to your children.


Farmer.   Everyone knows when someone says 'Be Honest' they really don't want you to be honest.  It's the ole 'Does this dress make me look fat?' trap.

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#13 yellowlover519

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Posted 19 May 2018 - 06:04 AM

View Postfarmer, on 18 May 2018 - 10:23 PM, said:

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:17 PM, said:

Farmer - you must be an excellent human being.  Rather than attacking my character or parenting over one example, please share with us your excellent parenting skills and how you’ve created  a supportive environment.  That was the point of my post - I acknowledged parents such as you that never seem to get frustrated or express frustration.
You announced what you are.  Plus, you admit to being worse in your past.  Now you want support for what you admit doing.  Every parent gets frustrated with their kids, but not every parent acts out.  Watch Trophy Kids and see what you look like from the outside.  You will regret the times you have been unkind to your children.
Clearly you have no real life experience if that’s what you are deducing from my post.

View PostSteele47, on 19 May 2018 - 01:30 AM, said:

View Postfarmer, on 18 May 2018 - 10:23 PM, said:

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:17 PM, said:

Farmer - you must be an excellent human being.  Rather than attacking my character or parenting over one example, please share with us your excellent parenting skills and how you’ve created  a supportive environment.  That was the point of my post - I acknowledged parents such as you that never seem to get frustrated or express frustration.
You announced what you are.  Plus, you admit to being worse in your past.  Now you want support for what you admit doing.  Every parent gets frustrated with their kids, but not every parent acts out.  Watch Trophy Kids and see what you look like from the outside.  You will regret the times you have been unkind to your children.



Farmer.   Everyone knows when someone says 'Be Honest' they really don't want you to be honest.  It's the ole 'Does this dress make me look fat?' trap.

Edited by yellowlover519, 19 May 2018 - 06:10 AM.


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#14 yellowlover519

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Posted 19 May 2018 - 06:12 AM

View PostSteele47, on 19 May 2018 - 01:30 AM, said:

View Postfarmer, on 18 May 2018 - 10:23 PM, said:

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:17 PM, said:

Farmer - you must be an excellent human being.  Rather than attacking my character or parenting over one example, please share with us your excellent parenting skills and how you’ve created  a supportive environment.  That was the point of my post - I acknowledged parents such as you that never seem to get frustrated or express frustration.
You announced what you are.  Plus, you admit to being worse in your past.  Now you want support for what you admit doing.  Every parent gets frustrated with their kids, but not every parent acts out.  Watch Trophy Kids and see what you look like from the outside.  You will regret the times you have been unkind to your children.


Farmer.   Everyone knows when someone says 'Be Honest' they really don't want you to be honest.  It's the ole 'Does this dress make me look fat?' trap.

Get him Sea Bass!

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#15 yellowlover519

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Posted 19 May 2018 - 06:18 AM

View Postleezer99, on 18 May 2018 - 09:36 PM, said:

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:45 PM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 18 May 2018 - 08:40 PM, said:

Someone needs to pass out Quaaludes to this group.

Definitely a drink.  Anyone going to Pinehurst this summer?  Would be great to put a face to these ids.
We might if he's interested in a couple of years. Going to Maui instead this summer.

Nice - plantation course is one-of-a-kind.  Wailea courses are fun too.


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#16 Belmont148

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Posted 19 May 2018 - 06:24 AM

I wish the club pro would follow along all these parents on the course and scream at them every time they duff a shot or hit a 3 putt.

Also folks, keep in mind. Northerners raise there kids differently than southerners. What seems loud and obnoxious to us is just normal for folks from Boston and NY, etc.

Edited by Belmont148, 19 May 2018 - 06:31 AM.

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#17 leezer99

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Posted 19 May 2018 - 06:53 AM

View Postyellowlover519, on 19 May 2018 - 06:18 AM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 18 May 2018 - 09:36 PM, said:

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 08:45 PM, said:

View Postleezer99, on 18 May 2018 - 08:40 PM, said:

Someone needs to pass out Quaaludes to this group.

Definitely a drink.  Anyone going to Pinehurst this summer?  Would be great to put a face to these ids.
We might if he's interested in a couple of years. Going to Maui instead this summer.

Nice - plantation course is one-of-a-kind.  Wailea courses are fun too.

Yep, played those and they're on the list for this next trip, especially before they ruin Plantation with the redesign.

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#18 BryanS4

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Posted 19 May 2018 - 06:55 AM

View Postyellowlover519, on 18 May 2018 - 10:54 AM, said:

For the naysayers saying that those bursts are due to living vicariously through your child, I don't think that's the case.  I think it's the opposite.  I think every parent just wants to see their child succeed so badly in what they do that they have to let them know their feelings.  Same goes for reaction when there's a bad test grade; that's somehow acceptable and reaction in sports is not.

Agree with this 100%.

My son is just getting into golf, but plays baseball at a very competitive level. I don't do it often, but I'm guilty for sure a few times a tournament for the "what the heck are you doing out there, wake up!" or "you'll find yourself on the bench in a hurry if you keep that up". I don't see it as belittling my son, but rather you're better than that let's go.

Heck the way coaches talked to the teams I played on growing up, most of the soft parents today would call the cops..haha.

Fine line between making your child feel like crap and what one might consider a kick in the butt to get going.

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#19 CTgolf

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Posted 21 May 2018 - 03:54 AM

There are as many personality types among parents as there are kids.

Some parents “care more” and therefore have a really hard time composing themselves when they see their kid play below their potential.  Others have a really laid-back attitude and nothing phases them.  Both can be reacting equally out of love for child.

Some kids respond well to criticism, others need more affirmation.  My children get into quicker, and maintain longer, “the zone” of deep, focused practice when I am acting as drill sergeant instead of as cheerleader.

Learning to be a good parent is as much of a journey and process as a kid growing up to be a mature, responsible adult.

I think the OP’s response is natural and, even if not ideal, is part of being a loving parent and a human being.





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#20 byerxa

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Posted 23 May 2018 - 10:46 AM

I've never actually caddied for my daughter, just follow her around once in a while.  She tends to get too upset when things go wrong on the course (although she has gotten a lot better) so I try to maintain a positive appearance (body language, smile, etc.). She is already upset at herself so she does not need me (or anyone else) to make it worse.  Given that, there was one time when I was more demonstrative than I should have been.  She had a 3 footer for par and it started to rain so she rushed the putt and missed it. I was off the back of the green a fair bit so I don't think she saw me but I did the exasperated look up to the sky thing when she did that.  Ultimately it did not cost here anything in the tournament so no harm no foul.  I was frustrated not that she missed the putt but got careless rushing it.  Regardless, I quickly realized I should not have reacted that way (even if she did not see me) and made a note to be keep my frustrations under check.


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#21 cardoustie

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Posted 23 May 2018 - 10:52 AM

Put me in the calm parent category.    I'm like that right across my whole life

Sports other than golf.  Two girls

Same with my nephew who is playing d2 golf next year.  I caddy for him on a lark at times (though I beat him half the time) and I never get negative or critical.  Kids know when they've screwed up, they don't need reminders or the error jammed down their throats

It's not life and death out there
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#22 North Texas

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Posted 27 May 2018 - 08:21 PM

View Postcardoustie, on 23 May 2018 - 10:52 AM, said:

Put me in the calm parent category. I'm like that right across my whole life

Sports other than golf.  Two girls

Same with my nephew who is playing d2 golf next year.  I caddy for him on a lark at times (though I beat him half the time) and I never get negative or critical.  Kids know when they've screwed up, they don't need reminders or the error jammed down their throats

It's not life and death out there

Best post in this thread.

Son played basketball in high school. Wife and I would go sit at the top of the bleachers away from all the other parents and calmly watch games. Our son knew we supported him totally and knew we were never going to criticize him for playing bad or making mistakes. Other parents, no so much. Jeez, it's only a freaking game! Far from life or death.

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#23 the bishop

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 08:13 AM

Not sure if this qualifies but this has stuck with me since I witnessed it.  2015 California State Open - final round.  This was held at my (at the time) home course of Tukwet Canyon in Beaumont, CA.  I was following the penultimate group which included Xander Schauffele, Danny Ochoa (then on the USC men's team) and Berry Henson.  This was in late July and the heat was brutal.  Temps reached 105* that day.  Ochoa has his dad acting as his caddie.  When they reach the par 5 16th he has a -3 round going and is in the top 5.  He proceeds to snap hook a drive into an arroyo that was as bad a shot I've ever seen by anybody on that hole.  Walking down off the tee box I could hear him ask his dad (and mom who was following) "do we have anything to eat?"  They don't.  This kid hasn't eaten all round in the stifling heat and I think low blood sugar was taking over.  He found his ball and because he was well below fairway level his dad momentarily placed himself so he could see where to aim (he did move before the shot was hit).  But as I'm watching (sidebar - our "gallery" was only 4 people and there were no ropes so we just walked all over) I'm thinking "that's not a good place to have him aim" and he proceeds to hit the ball into a hazard on the other side of the fairway.  Anyway he ends up making a sloppy bogey and also bogeys 18 to fall to solo 8th.  Still a good result but what might have been.  Here is a kid playing at a major D1 school and how could you let him go on the course with no food in the bag?  He had also bogied  15 but I didn't think much of it at the time since that's the toughest par 4 on that course and was likely playing over par for the field.  But it was probably the beginning of his low blood sugar episode.  I'm making an assumption about that but he dropped 3 shots on his last 4 holes hitting some shots that were pretty bad.  I felt bad for him because I think with some on course nutrition he would not have finished like he did.
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#24 CTgolf

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 09:05 AM

View Postthe bishop, on 28 May 2018 - 08:13 AM, said:

Not sure if this qualifies but this has stuck with me since I witnessed it.  2015 California State Open - final round.  This was held at my (at the time) home course of Tukwet Canyon in Beaumont, CA.  I was following the penultimate group which included Xander Schauffele, Danny Ochoa (then on the USC men's team) and Berry Henson.  This was in late July and the heat was brutal.  Temps reached 105* that day.  Ochoa has his dad acting as his caddie.  When they reach the par 5 16th he has a -3 round going and is in the top 5.  He proceeds to snap hook a drive into an arroyo that was as bad a shot I've ever seen by anybody on that hole.  Walking down off the tee box I could hear him ask his dad (and mom who was following) "do we have anything to eat?"  They don't.  This kid hasn't eaten all round in the stifling heat and I think low blood sugar was taking over.  He found his ball and because he was well below fairway level his dad momentarily placed himself so he could see where to aim (he did move before the shot was hit).  But as I'm watching (sidebar - our "gallery" was only 4 people and there were no ropes so we just walked all over) I'm thinking "that's not a good place to have him aim" and he proceeds to hit the ball into a hazard on the other side of the fairway.  Anyway he ends up making a sloppy bogey and also bogeys 18 to fall to solo 8th.  Still a good result but what might have been.  Here is a kid playing at a major D1 school and how could you let him go on the course with no food in the bag?  He had also bogied  15 but I didn't think much of it at the time since that's the toughest par 4 on that course and was likely playing over par for the field.  But it was probably the beginning of his low blood sugar episode.  I'm making an assumption about that but he dropped 3 shots on his last 4 holes hitting some shots that were pretty bad.  I felt bad for him because I think with some on course nutrition he would not have finished like he did.

Good story

IMHO I think college players should be able to fend for themselves, but that's just me

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#25 BertGA

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 10:14 AM

View PostCTgolf, on 28 May 2018 - 09:05 AM, said:

  

Good story

IMHO I think college players should be able to fend for themselves, but that's just me

Yeah, if you play D1 you shouldn’t be relying on mom & dad to pack orange slices to the state open.


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#26 the bishop

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 02:21 PM

View PostBertGA, on 28 May 2018 - 10:14 AM, said:

View PostCTgolf, on 28 May 2018 - 09:05 AM, said:

  

Good story

IMHO I think college players should be able to fend for themselves, but that's just me

Yeah, if you play D1 you shouldn’t be relying on mom & dad to pack orange slices to the state open.
I don't necessarily disagree.  Ultimately the player is responsible but if mom & dad are gonna be there and have as much invested in his success as anybody I found it surprising between the 3 of them they couldn't remember to get any food in the bag.  It just seemed a surprising oversight.
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#27 AreJohn

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 09:50 PM

My dad had to work during all my competitive golf tournaments but one of my competitors father showed up to every event and watching him silently judge his son (looking at the ground, shaking his head, and walking away after bad shots) made me want to punch his face in. He almost reduced his son to hysterics, and definitely to tears at least once. Not one fist pump, cheer, clap, or even a nod of approval in over 3 years and 20+ rounds with those 2. I would have rather played every round with a 10 person entourage cheering my competitors on with vuvuzelas than had to see that.
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#28 ABARTSCHMID

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Posted 31 May 2018 - 09:33 AM

My son is only 7 but he is extremely competitive in everything he does golf, baseball, soccer, school. I celebrate with him when he does well and I try to use poor performances as a learning experience while staying positive. Each kid is different. I know my son is going to be upset if he doesn't do well. He has high expectations for himself. I am sad when he doesn't perform well but only because I know he will be upset. I don't let him see that I am sad. I instead encourage him and root him on. I am his biggest fan whether he plays well or poorly. I want him to perform well for himself, not to impress me. I want him to know that the goal is always to succeed and win but as long as you gave it all you had and learn from your mistakes the outcome doesn't matter. I hate the mindset of participation trophies and just showing up. I believe children should learn to push themselves and their limits in order to achieve what they are capable of. I believe you should teach your children to have this mindset for themselves. They shouldn't have to live up to parents expectations, rather they should set their own expectations high and work to achieve them. My son is still young and I am a competitive person so I know at some point I may have a lapse in how I react but my goal is always his happiness and to be his biggest fan every step of the way in whatever he does.
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#29 tocino

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Posted 31 May 2018 - 10:54 AM

View Postleezer99, on 18 May 2018 - 01:26 PM, said:

View PostBaitkiller, on 18 May 2018 - 12:03 PM, said:

Telling my daughter to slide tackle the girl who was scoring at will two years ago at 10. Everyone agreed it was a clean tackle, ball first but she took her out of the tournament. My daughter got carded.

I give you a pass...

I did tell my son one time during a basketball game that the small kid keeps driving the lane and scoring any time their coach calls THREE and that he just needed to what he needed to do to stop him even though he was off that kid.  Only took two fouls for the kid to stop trying to run through a kid 20+ pounds heavier than him.

My coach and dad told me this when I was playing highschool basketball. You're not trying to hurt the guy but you want to send a message that there are consequences to thinking it's going to be THAT easy driving to the hole all the time.

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