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A Wife and two kids how to mix in Golf


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#31 Under2hours

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 11:14 AM

View Postdpb5031, on 02 April 2018 - 08:26 AM, said:

When my kids were that age they would wake up early every day. The wife and I both worked, and she enjoyed the opportunity to sleep-in a bit on the weekends if possible.

So, my routine became waking early with the kids, getting them fed and then washed/dressed as well as the house straightened up.  At around 9 a.m. she'd wake up and we'd enjoy coffee for about an hour then I'd pass them off to her so I could head to the club for a 10:30 tee time.

She would head over to the club's pool at around 2:30 pm and I'd meet them there after my round.  I'd swim with the kids while she relaxed by the pool and then we'd either eat an early dinner at the club, go home and cook on the grill, or maybe just grab a pizza.  By 7:30-8 the kids were wiped out and ready for bed and we'd have some alone time.

This arrangement was much better for us than the typical 7 a.m. dew-sweeper deal where I'd be gone before she awoke, and it worked for us for many years (been married 26 years).  Belonging to a club with a nice pool and social environment helped.  I should also add that I missed plenty of weekend golf days as the kids got heavily involved in sports of their own, but I enjoyed most of that as much as my own golf, so it never felt like a sacrifice. One just got engaged and is graduating college with honors, the other is on her first year playing D1 golf on a full ride.

Bottom line is there are ways to work things out if you communicate well, respect each other's feelings & perspectives, and are willing to give a little to get a little.

BTW, everytime one of these threads pops up you get the Captain Obvious self-righteous lectures: "you need to get your priorities straight, your kids are only young once,their development, happiness, and well-being will be compromised if you don't stay home and dote on them 24/7."  Well meaning I'm sure, but c'mon, the guy wants to play a little golf, he's not hanging at a strip club or seedy casino all day.  It can be done!

Well just when I was congratulating those responding lo & behold this line.

Add to that the Country Club Lifestyle of the poster (and his tournament play and other posts) I'm not surprised.

Yes there are some very affluent who can afford all these perks and still leave time for golf.....  Should I ask about nannies?  

Good for you, but you are in the very small minority.........  Heck a CC with a Pool is a rarity up here.......  

Congrats on the kids and the juggling........

However I think Ferguson's response is bang on......


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#32 Pigems

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 11:19 AM

If there is a golf simulator near you, it can be your best friend during these times. Real golf can only be played in daylight but sim golf can be played anytime. I used to go over at like 9-9:30 on a Friday or Saturday night when my boy was in bed to get my golf fix. Itís not real golf but it helps scratch the itch when you canít play outside :)
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#33 Bye

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 11:42 AM

Married 12 years this year. We have a 9 and 6 year old.

It’s tough to get the balance right. I stopped playing for 3 years when our second child arrived.

Now I play at 7am on a Saturday. It leaves most of the weekend with the family. At the moment they want me around. I am guessing that this will change in a few years.


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#34 driveandputtmachine

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 11:59 AM

This topic is very dependent upon each person.  No one person's views meets what your family needs or thinks.

For me though, my first wife and I had differences, not from golf, and divorced.  Before that what worked for us was.....
1. I played twice a month or so with the kids.
2. I played twice a month or so by myself
3. I coached soccer
4. I helped the kids with their homework, I cooked dinner some nights for the whole family, some nights just for the ids and myself.
5. I did my yard work (non power tools requiring) with my kids
6. I helped some with laundry and inside the house chores

I made sure that when she had things to do during the week or when she had things to do on the weekend I was available for her.
The problem friends of mine had were when their significant other really had no hobbies or things to do, and that significant other just never did much outside of the house and resented the time that was spent away on the golf course.

My current wife and I got together and I explained that when I didn't have my kids I played golf 2 or 3 times a week.  I still do my yard work, all my own laundry, and cook dinner a few nights a week.  I make sure she is able to go to her book club and political stuff during the week any day but Thursday, and I play either in the morning or afternoon if she has something during the weekend.  We still go out on date nights together, and go camping and hiking.  I stay pretty busy.
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#35 dpb5031

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 12:42 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 02 April 2018 - 11:14 AM, said:

View Postdpb5031, on 02 April 2018 - 08:26 AM, said:

When my kids were that age they would wake up early every day. The wife and I both worked, and she enjoyed the opportunity to sleep-in a bit on the weekends if possible.

So, my routine became waking early with the kids, getting them fed and then washed/dressed as well as the house straightened up.  At around 9 a.m. she'd wake up and we'd enjoy coffee for about an hour then I'd pass them off to her so I could head to the club for a 10:30 tee time.

She would head over to the club's pool at around 2:30 pm and I'd meet them there after my round.  I'd swim with the kids while she relaxed by the pool and then we'd either eat an early dinner at the club, go home and cook on the grill, or maybe just grab a pizza.  By 7:30-8 the kids were wiped out and ready for bed and we'd have some alone time.

This arrangement was much better for us than the typical 7 a.m. dew-sweeper deal where I'd be gone before she awoke, and it worked for us for many years (been married 26 years).  Belonging to a club with a nice pool and social environment helped.  I should also add that I missed plenty of weekend golf days as the kids got heavily involved in sports of their own, but I enjoyed most of that as much as my own golf, so it never felt like a sacrifice. One just got engaged and is graduating college with honors, the other is on her first year playing D1 golf on a full ride.

Bottom line is there are ways to work things out if you communicate well, respect each other's feelings & perspectives, and are willing to give a little to get a little.

BTW, everytime one of these threads pops up you get the Captain Obvious self-righteous lectures: "you need to get your priorities straight, your kids are only young once,their development, happiness, and well-being will be compromised if you don't stay home and dote on them 24/7."  Well meaning I'm sure, but c'mon, the guy wants to play a little golf, he's not hanging at a strip club or seedy casino all day.  It can be done!

Well just when I was congratulating those responding lo & behold this line.

Add to that the Country Club Lifestyle of the poster (and his tournament play and other posts) I'm not surprised.

Yes there are some very affluent who can afford all these perks and still leave time for golf.....  Should I ask about nannies?  

Good for you, but you are in the very small minority.........  Heck a CC with a Pool is a rarity up here.......  

Congrats on the kids and the juggling........

However I think Ferguson's response is bang on......

My response was intended to point out that where there's a will, there's very often a way. Being "judgy," (including the judgements and assumptions you've made about me) is not only condescending, it's unproductive IMHO.

BTW, there were/are no nannies in my household and our club is a first generation place (opened in 1995) and mid-tier, not exclusive, not member-owned, not high-end.

Still, no private clubs are cheap here in NJ, so you do need resources, and we worked hard for them and sacrificed elsewhere. I did not grow up with any wealth or at a country club, but realized when I started playing this game that a private club had plenty of advantages, some of which I've pointed out and some of which you've eluded to (invitations to trips, etc.).

We worked together,sacrificed plenty, and I'm extremely fortunate that my wife is one of the "good ones!" When we joined our club it was a real stretch financially, but we grew into it and it's been great for all of us (and my wife doesnt golf). We even moved to be closer to the club when the kids were small.  It's unlikely my daughter would be playing college golf if we hadn't decided to join.

If it's important to play some golf, most can figure out a way without the rest of their lives falling apart.  Doesn't have to be my way, but there's usually SOME way to make it work for you and your family if you're resourceful and are willing to sacrifice a bit elsewhere.

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#36 ctmason_98

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 01:00 PM

If you want to find out a way to keep playing the amount of golf you play now, youíre answeri your own question.

If that is the case...then golf is more of a priority than your family.

So the right question is what ARE your priorities? You intellectually know golf is going to be there if you cut back.

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#37 Big Ben

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 01:06 PM

My advise be very careful it's not worth problems later in life. I've been married 16yrs and suffering the after effects of too much golf with two kids right now and it's no fun. If I had a do over I might reconsider all the hours I "thought" was ok on the course. BB
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#38 Ferguson

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 01:26 PM

View PostPigems, on 02 April 2018 - 11:19 AM, said:

If there is a golf simulator near you, it can be your best friend during these times. Real golf can only be played in daylight but sim golf can be played anytime. I used to go over at like 9-9:30 on a Friday or Saturday night when my boy was in bed to get my golf fix. It's not real golf but it helps scratch the itch when you can't play outside :)


The OP stated he has a passion for the game.   I'm thinking simulation is not going to cut his mustard.

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#39 MPG

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 01:27 PM

We have two kids (11 and 8 year olds) with a lot of different activities (gymnastics, baseball, soccer and golf) going on and we both work full time.  So, we don't have a lot of time for too much more but my wife is very understanding and knows that i need to golf just like she needs to do her things.  I realized very early as new parents that my only real way to continue to play any real golf would be to try to get my kids involved.    This plan could not have worked out better for me because both of my kids love to play golf and they both are in tournament golf now.  They actually helped me play more because they will always ask if we can go golfing and there are times that I have to say no.     My wife absolutely loves it because she has Sunday afternoon and some late afternoons to herself to do whatever she wants to do while we are playing.

Before kids, i had a regular group of 16 guys that we played all different kind of games but that is all behind me now since I love my regular 3 some now even more.
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#40 Skhacker

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 01:28 PM

I used to golf 3x a week, now I'm about twice a month. My boys are 2 and 5. My 5 y/o loves going to the driving range, so I get that in with him a couple times a month also. It gives us a chance to have different one on one time with each of our boys to get to know them better individually. I take my 2 year old biking/hiking for a couple hours once a week for his one on one. It's something he loves. Parenting is hard. Especially with the modern demands of both parents working. I love golf. Always have. But I made a conscious decision, without any suggestion from my wife, to cut way down on my rounds to spend more time with my family the day my first son was born. My game really hasn't suffered score wise, I still have to have a real job. I still watch golf, still play in the back yard, still talk golf with friends. The priorities have just changed over the past five years. In a good way.


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#41 Pigems

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 01:28 PM

View PostFerguson, on 02 April 2018 - 01:26 PM, said:

View PostPigems, on 02 April 2018 - 11:19 AM, said:

If there is a golf simulator near you, it can be your best friend during these times. Real golf can only be played in daylight but sim golf can be played anytime. I used to go over at like 9-9:30 on a Friday or Saturday night when my boy was in bed to get my golf fix. It's not real golf but it helps scratch the itch when you can't play outside :)


The OP stated he has a passion for the game.   I'm thinking simulation is not going to cut his mustard.

So do I, but sim golf was better than no golf at the time. Itís just easier to fit into a schedule that includes kids. I totally get it though, nothing beats real golf :)

Edited by Pigems, 02 April 2018 - 01:29 PM.

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#42 ABARTSCHMID

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 01:35 PM

I am married and have a 7 year old boy and 4 year old boy. I play both days on the weekend and usually in the Thursday night scrambles. My 7 year old loves to come golfing with me. As long as he is with me my wife has no issues. I bring him every time with my normal group and they have accepted him as "one of the boys". Out of respect to other golfers I do not bring him to the Thursday night scrambles or any of the tournaments. If I start playing too many tournaments or playing without him it causes a stir in my marriage. I am obsessed with golf and my wife tries to be understanding of that but family comes first. I nicely let her know when I skip golf to attend something with the family so she realizes that I don't put golf ahead of the family. I have a large tournament schedule planned for this spring/summer so it could get dicey this year for me. But most important is always family and we will never get this time with our kids back again. My 7 year old is my little golf buddy and gives us great dad/son time. I wouldn't trade golfing with him for anything. So I guess my point is make golf a bonding experience with your children and not something that detracts from your family. Best of Luck to find that balance.
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#43 vhacker

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 02:33 PM

View PostMario Good Times, on 01 April 2018 - 08:41 PM, said:

So I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old and a wife of 9 years.  We are having a problem with how much golf I can play.  I totally understand her side of the argument that when I’m out golfing she is watching our kids, so I golf and come straight home I stay local, I make it a early round to try to be back at a good time and still enjoy the day. I’m a great father and supporting husband but I don’t really have another person to compare my golf with to someone else with something close to my situation.  I love the game, but it’s bringing my relationship to a tipping point.  How much does everyone golf with 2 young kids with out causing a divorce.  I don’t want to abuse my free time but I also feel like I’ve earned a little freedom to do my passion.  Besides golf I’m all work, Daddy and husband ...

I didn't see it mentioned in this thread by others but what if any are the chances she takes the game up? Does she hate it? Has she tried it? Have you asked?

My father played quite a bit when I was growing up but I always had little interest in the game. (I'm 48)  In 2011 I was invited to a scramble and reluctantly I went, I had a blast and found I was decent for not having played much.

I go home that afternoon and tell my wife about it and she says "hey why don't we both go play"  and the rest is history. We spend quality time with one another out and about and it's really improved our marriage.

This August will be 24 years married and we have an 18 year old son. We juggle things to make it work and have been for nearly 7 years...just a thought.....

If her picking up the game isn't going to happen then I agree with others that you need to  enjoy the kids, its flies by and it's far more important then your "passion" right now. You can play later or maybe you just play less but the clubs will still be there when you're ready to pick them back up

Edited by vhacker, 02 April 2018 - 02:33 PM.


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#44 DZClark

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 02:36 PM

I read a post like the OP and I realize that I may be the luckiest man in the world.

My wife and I have 2 kids at home. My stepson who is 11 and our daughter who is 4. My wife is and has always been good with me playing golf. Two years ago we moved and the best investment we made was a golf cart. My son could care less about golf....too boring and slow for him. But my daughter, she LOVES to be on the golf course. Rare is the day when I don't come in from work and immediately hear from either my daughter or wife, that they want US (me and daughter) to go to the golf course. We hope in the cart and for the next hour or two we hit balls, do "putting challenges" as she calls them or drive around the course looking for the beverage cart girls.

My wife stays at home with her during the day, so by the time I get home in the afternoon, she is ready for a break. It is great bonding time with my daughter and we are building a bunch of memories (she actually beat me in our putting challenge (she got lucky if you ask me) and has enjoyed telling everyone from the pro shop, the kitchen, and her grandparents that she beat me).

I seldom play weekend mornings and if I want "Me" golf, I usually make those a work event. I know she won't be small forever, but hopefully, we are setting a trend where the golf course is the fun place to be.

To the OP, I would encourage you to make the course a place to go with your kids. Maybe its the putting green, maybe the range or maybe just an open field where you hit and they hit balls, it gets you a little golf fix and starts them wanting to be on the course. Golf is not worth losing a wife or kids for, so its up to you to figure out how you can get golf more ingrained so you get to enjoy.

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#45 2putttom

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 02:42 PM

this is more about your wife and your relationship with her, then about golf.  If it at a tipping point then it's a cry for help.

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#46 Under2hours

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 02:44 PM

View Postdpb5031, on 02 April 2018 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostUnder2hours, on 02 April 2018 - 11:14 AM, said:

View Postdpb5031, on 02 April 2018 - 08:26 AM, said:

When my kids were that age they would wake up early every day. The wife and I both worked, and she enjoyed the opportunity to sleep-in a bit on the weekends if possible.

So, my routine became waking early with the kids, getting them fed and then washed/dressed as well as the house straightened up.  At around 9 a.m. she'd wake up and we'd enjoy coffee for about an hour then I'd pass them off to her so I could head to the club for a 10:30 tee time.

She would head over to the club's pool at around 2:30 pm and I'd meet them there after my round.  I'd swim with the kids while she relaxed by the pool and then we'd either eat an early dinner at the club, go home and cook on the grill, or maybe just grab a pizza.  By 7:30-8 the kids were wiped out and ready for bed and we'd have some alone time.

This arrangement was much better for us than the typical 7 a.m. dew-sweeper deal where I'd be gone before she awoke, and it worked for us for many years (been married 26 years).  Belonging to a club with a nice pool and social environment helped.  I should also add that I missed plenty of weekend golf days as the kids got heavily involved in sports of their own, but I enjoyed most of that as much as my own golf, so it never felt like a sacrifice. One just got engaged and is graduating college with honors, the other is on her first year playing D1 golf on a full ride.

Bottom line is there are ways to work things out if you communicate well, respect each other's feelings & perspectives, and are willing to give a little to get a little.

BTW, everytime one of these threads pops up you get the Captain Obvious self-righteous lectures: "you need to get your priorities straight, your kids are only young once,their development, happiness, and well-being will be compromised if you don't stay home and dote on them 24/7."  Well meaning I'm sure, but c'mon, the guy wants to play a little golf, he's not hanging at a strip club or seedy casino all day.  It can be done!

Well just when I was congratulating those responding lo & behold this line.

Add to that the Country Club Lifestyle of the poster (and his tournament play and other posts) I'm not surprised.

Yes there are some very affluent who can afford all these perks and still leave time for golf.....  Should I ask about nannies?  

Good for you, but you are in the very small minority.........  Heck a CC with a Pool is a rarity up here.......  

Congrats on the kids and the juggling........

However I think Ferguson's response is bang on......

My response was intended to point out that where there's a will, there's very often a way. Being "judgy," (including the judgements and assumptions you've made about me) is not only condescending, it's unproductive IMHO.

BTW, there were/are no nannies in my household and our club is a first generation place (opened in 1995) and mid-tier, not exclusive, not member-owned, not high-end.

Still, no private clubs are cheap here in NJ, so you do need resources, and we worked hard for them and sacrificed elsewhere. I did not grow up with any wealth or at a country club, but realized when I started playing this game that a private club had plenty of advantages, some of which I've pointed out and some of which you've eluded to (invitations to trips, etc.).

We worked together,sacrificed plenty, and I'm extremely fortunate that my wife is one of the "good ones!" When we joined our club it was a real stretch financially, but we grew into it and it's been great for all of us (and my wife doesnt golf). We even moved to be closer to the club when the kids were small.  It's unlikely my daughter would be playing college golf if we hadn't decided to join.

If it's important to play some golf, most can figure out a way without the rest of their lives falling apart.  Doesn't have to be my way, but there's usually SOME way to make it work for you and your family if you're resourceful and are willing to sacrifice a bit elsewhere.
Yep I was judgy as I have read many of your posts on this topic & others.  I also have read you didn't come from money or such, but are obsessed and play a lot.  Good for you that you can juggle it and have from the sounds of it good kids.  I congratulated you on that.

It is rationalizing (and we all do to different extents) that is what set me off.  I don't gamble or am out drinking with the boys so I can golf and similar lines that get me every time.

You are very lucky and have a wife who is okay with your choices and how they include golf.  Some would want a larger house or that your hobby is tennis that takes up 1/3rd of the time........  

As said good for you and yes  I was jumping to conclusions (more so pushing the envelope).

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#47 Ferguson

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 02:46 PM

View Postvhacker, on 02 April 2018 - 02:33 PM, said:

View PostMario Good Times, on 01 April 2018 - 08:41 PM, said:

So I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old and a wife of 9 years.  We are having a problem with how much golf I can play.  I totally understand her side of the argument that when I’m out golfing she is watching our kids, so I golf and come straight home I stay local, I make it a early round to try to be back at a good time and still enjoy the day. I’m a great father and supporting husband but I don’t really have another person to compare my golf with to someone else with something close to my situation.  I love the game, but it’s bringing my relationship to a tipping point.  How much does everyone golf with 2 young kids with out causing a divorce.  I don’t want to abuse my free time but I also feel like I’ve earned a little freedom to do my passion.  Besides golf I’m all work, Daddy and husband ...

I didn't see it mentioned in this thread by others but what if any are the chances she takes the game up? Does she hate it? Has she tried it? Have you asked?

My father played quite a bit when I was growing up but I always had little interest in the game. (I'm 48)  In 2011 I was invited to a scramble and reluctantly I went, I had a blast and found I was decent for not having played much.

I go home that afternoon and tell my wife about it and she says "hey why don't we both go play"  and the rest is history. We spend quality time with one another out and about and it's really improved our marriage.

This August will be 24 years married and we have an 18 year old son. We juggle things to make it work and have been for nearly 7 years...just a thought.....

If her picking up the game isn't going to happen then I agree with others that you need to  enjoy the kids, its flies by and it's far more important then your "passion" right now. You can play later or maybe you just play less but the clubs will still be there when you're ready to pick them back up


This is NOT about her, or the kids.    It's about him having a feeling of resentment toward his wife for wanting a golf life separate of the home life.

Little kids needs their folks around.  It's called nurturing. You only get one shot at it when they're small.

Or, you can wait 20-30 years and apologize for not being around.

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#48 Under2hours

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 02:57 PM

View PostFerguson, on 02 April 2018 - 02:46 PM, said:

View Postvhacker, on 02 April 2018 - 02:33 PM, said:

View PostMario Good Times, on 01 April 2018 - 08:41 PM, said:

So I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old and a wife of 9 years.  We are having a problem with how much golf I can play.  I totally understand her side of the argument that when I’m out golfing she is watching our kids, so I golf and come straight home I stay local, I make it a early round to try to be back at a good time and still enjoy the day. I’m a great father and supporting husband but I don’t really have another person to compare my golf with to someone else with something close to my situation.  I love the game, but it’s bringing my relationship to a tipping point.  How much does everyone golf with 2 young kids with out causing a divorce.  I don’t want to abuse my free time but I also feel like I’ve earned a little freedom to do my passion.  Besides golf I’m all work, Daddy and husband ...

I didn't see it mentioned in this thread by others but what if any are the chances she takes the game up? Does she hate it? Has she tried it? Have you asked?

My father played quite a bit when I was growing up but I always had little interest in the game. (I'm 48)  In 2011 I was invited to a scramble and reluctantly I went, I had a blast and found I was decent for not having played much.

I go home that afternoon and tell my wife about it and she says "hey why don't we both go play"  and the rest is history. We spend quality time with one another out and about and it's really improved our marriage.

This August will be 24 years married and we have an 18 year old son. We juggle things to make it work and have been for nearly 7 years...just a thought.....

If her picking up the game isn't going to happen then I agree with others that you need to  enjoy the kids, its flies by and it's far more important then your "passion" right now. You can play later or maybe you just play less but the clubs will still be there when you're ready to pick them back up


This is NOT about her, or the kids. It's about him having a feeling of resentment toward his wife for wanting a golf life separate of the home life.

Little kids needs their folks around.  It's called nurturing. You only get one shot at it when they're small.

Or, you can wait 20-30 years and apologize for not being around.

Oh yes and then therapy!!!!

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#49 bazinky

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 02:57 PM

If I was the OP, I would ask myself one simple question: How much time do I spend with my family?

We really need to know more about your situation to be able to truly give you advice. I know guys that get to play 4-5 times a week and it doesn't interfere with much with their family dynamics because they are able to do it during work/school hours. If you are playing a full 18 more than once or twice a week outside of "work" hours, you are likely to have problems.

My wife also works, and she loves for me to play golf once a week on the weekends (usually early mornings at my club, so done early and have plenty of time to spend with her and our daughter). However, If I was expecting to play full 18 hole rounds on BOTH weekend days, she would not be happy. I clear tournaments with her well in advance, and she's usually cool with that (I also usually do the leg-work to get her some additional help or a break during those times).

I need a certain amount of golf to stay sane, so having a club where you can squeeze in a quick practice or 9 holes when you get a free couple of hours has been a life-saver for me.
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#50 2putttom

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 03:06 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 02 April 2018 - 02:57 PM, said:

View PostFerguson, on 02 April 2018 - 02:46 PM, said:

View Postvhacker, on 02 April 2018 - 02:33 PM, said:

View PostMario Good Times, on 01 April 2018 - 08:41 PM, said:

So I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old and a wife of 9 years.  We are having a problem with how much golf I can play.  I totally understand her side of the argument that when I’m out golfing she is watching our kids, so I golf and come straight home I stay local, I make it a early round to try to be back at a good time and still enjoy the day. I’m a great father and supporting husband but I don’t really have another person to compare my golf with to someone else with something close to my situation.  I love the game, but it’s bringing my relationship to a tipping point.  How much does everyone golf with 2 young kids with out causing a divorce.  I don’t want to abuse my free time but I also feel like I’ve earned a little freedom to do my passion.  Besides golf I’m all work, Daddy and husband ...

I didn't see it mentioned in this thread by others but what if any are the chances she takes the game up? Does she hate it? Has she tried it? Have you asked?

My father played quite a bit when I was growing up but I always had little interest in the game. (I'm 48)  In 2011 I was invited to a scramble and reluctantly I went, I had a blast and found I was decent for not having played much.

I go home that afternoon and tell my wife about it and she says "hey why don't we both go play"  and the rest is history. We spend quality time with one another out and about and it's really improved our marriage.

This August will be 24 years married and we have an 18 year old son. We juggle things to make it work and have been for nearly 7 years...just a thought.....

If her picking up the game isn't going to happen then I agree with others that you need to  enjoy the kids, its flies by and it's far more important then your "passion" right now. You can play later or maybe you just play less but the clubs will still be there when you're ready to pick them back up


This is NOT about her, or the kids. It's about him having a feeling of resentment toward his wife for wanting a golf life separate of the home life.

Little kids needs their folks around.  It's called nurturing. You only get one shot at it when they're small.

Or, you can wait 20-30 years and apologize for not being around.

Oh yes and then therapy!!!!
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#51 Mario Good Times

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 04:32 PM

Thanks guys this has been great input.  I wanted other people’s stories and how they manage things at home.   I didn’t put my golf schedule in the original post because I’m more interested in other people’s schedules and how they juggle life and golf.   I will say of all the years I’ve been on this forum this one post and your responses has really helped me the most.  Thanks again

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#52 marmooskapaul

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 07:57 PM

Well, I don't know about all of this.

When I golf...my wife, grandparents or other family are willing and able to keep the kids for a while. When my wife wants to do something I,grandparents or other family are willing and able to keep the kids for a while. Shouldn't be that complicated...and yes I know...some parents don't have family around to do that.

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#53 Under2hours

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Posted 03 April 2018 - 10:47 AM

View Postmarmooskapaul, on 02 April 2018 - 07:57 PM, said:

Well, I don't know about all of this.

When I golf...my wife, grandparents or other family are willing and able to keep the kids for a while. When my wife wants to do something I,grandparents or other family are willing and able to keep the kids for a while. Shouldn't be that complicated...and yes I know...some parents don't have family around to do that.

Again it is not about golf, it is the time commitment that is associated with golf that is so unlike every other sport.  Play racquet sports, go to the gym, pool, basketball or hockey and it is 90 minutes tops and then home & a shower.  Golf is if lucky a 4 hour commitment (if live by the course & don't dawdle on the putting green, range or 19th hole).  More likely 6 hours minimum for 18 holes.  Add to that people who do comps and it get's stupid.

BTW if your spouse was Gisele Bunchen and told you that you were golfing too much how would you respond?

Edited by Under2hours, 03 April 2018 - 01:18 PM.


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#54 mneumann

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Posted 03 April 2018 - 01:50 PM

When the kids came I cut down a lot, quit playing with my club that wasn't local (we had moved 2.5 hours 2 years before and o was still going down tinplate a few times a year) and joined up with a local group.

Kids are now 4 and 2. I play one weekend day a month in a club tourney as long as the day works with our schedule. Other than that I go to the range on lunch breaks, take half days off for afternoon rounds (but always home when everyone else is at 5:30) or full days off for weekday tourneys. I also get to play with work people 4-6 tomes a year. I'm lucky that I get twice as much vacation as my wife so she has no issue with me burning days to play.

After work and weekend time is family time. Although the kids are getting to the point where they sometimes want to watch golf with me or chip in the backyard. Also like others said anytime my wife wants to do something, the answer is yes I'll watch the kids go have fun.

Other than that, recently I've got my wife introduced to my playing partners wives with young kids, so once on a great while when we have a free day on a weekend we will make a day out of getting the kids together to play, the wives to hang out, and the husbands to sneak out for a quick round.


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#55 GolfChannel

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Posted 03 April 2018 - 02:17 PM

My wife and kid (4 years old) almost always golf with me. Getting them involved in the habit has allowed me more opportunities to be on the course. I am actually on the course more than I used to be when it was a sport I largely tried to do alone. My wife is also mindful of this and actually looks for opportunities to let me go out to the course on my own.

The main thing when golfing with the kids is being mindful and allow anyone pushing you from behind through. Have snacks and drinks available. Also, in the beginning, be a little lax on the rules in terms of a kid being a kid. There are some rules you don't break, silence being the main one, but sometimes I don't know if my kid is going to hit the ball out of the sandtrap or make sand angels, but as long as you know this and they love being on the course ultimately at this age it's about fun. As long as when she golfs her hands are correct I could care less if she wishes to hit with a driver, iron, or putter or whether something else about the beauty of a golf course strikes her interest.

Edited by GolfChannel, 03 April 2018 - 02:18 PM.

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#56 marmooskapaul

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Posted 03 April 2018 - 03:08 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 03 April 2018 - 10:47 AM, said:

View Postmarmooskapaul, on 02 April 2018 - 07:57 PM, said:

Well, I don't know about all of this.

When I golf...my wife, grandparents or other family are willing and able to keep the kids for a while. When my wife wants to do something I,grandparents or other family are willing and able to keep the kids for a while. Shouldn't be that complicated...and yes I know...some parents don't have family around to do that.

Again it is not about golf, it is the time commitment that is associated with golf that is so unlike every other sport.  Play racquet sports, go to the gym, pool, basketball or hockey and it is 90 minutes tops and then home & a shower.  Golf is if lucky a 4 hour commitment (if live by the course & don't dawdle on the putting green, range or 19th hole).  More likely 6 hours minimum for 18 holes.  Add to that people who do comps and it get's stupid.

BTW if your spouse was Gisele Bunchen and told you that you were golfing too much how would you respond?

I'm 55 with two kids under 18..I'm not scared of her...lol...no idea why she married me though??

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#57 golf9596

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 05:44 PM

This is very simple issue to solve....Before I go married 100 rounds a year, married 70 rounds, first child 40 round, second child 30 rounds, parents needed help 5 rounds a  year for 10 years, Kids grown back to 70 rounds a year. This is the circle of life as a husband, father and son...I wouldn't change a thing..
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#58 farmer

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 06:20 PM

I liked DZ's solution, but getting hustled by a 4 year old girl probably hurt.

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#59 gambit

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 09:57 PM

View Postblink3665, on 01 April 2018 - 09:25 PM, said:

I've been married for 12 years.  My kids just turned 7 and 3.  I started golfing late.  I actually started when my wife and first born would nap while I was on paternity leave.  Since my wife was not used to me golfing before marriage it was a rude surprise about how much time it took.  There was a lot of resentment on her part with the amount of time I spent on the course.  We had a good discussion about it.  Communication is going to be key.

Now I play on the weekends about once a month.  She goes out to happy hours, dinners, or whatever a few times month.  We try to balance the amount of time that we are out of the house while the kids are awake.  

As someone else mentioned... I have figured out how to play golf when no one will miss me.  I play 3 times a week (minimum) during the summer during the week.  How you may ask?  I tee off at my local course about 10 minutes before sunrise.  I play the first 2 holes with minimum light.  I get done with a full 18 before work.  I don't get the commraderie of playing with my buddies, but I do get my golf fix.

Looks like we’re married to the same woman.
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#60 fawley

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Posted 05 April 2018 - 02:35 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 03 April 2018 - 10:47 AM, said:


BTW if your spouse was Gisele Bunchen and told you that you were golfing too much how would you respond?

You'd really treat you wife differently if she was a model?  I guess it's possible there's someone out there who's responses to their wife would differ based on on her looks.  It just seems like an odd question.


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