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Played with a tiger mom and her 11 year old, not fun.


33 replies to this topic

#1 wombat_vortex

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 01:32 PM

Wondering if anyone else has come across this situation.  A single joins our group, 11 year old asian girl and her mother.  The young girl was pretty darn good for her age and could hit the ball well, not as far as us adults, but could definitely keep up. Her mother was walking with her, not playing, and these two were at each other's throats the entire time.  An overbearing mother, coupled with an adolescent with a bit of an attitude.  Let's just say the mood of the entire group quickly turned sour.  They really brought us down and it seemed like all the fun was quickly sucked out of the afternoon of golf.  We happily parted ways after 9, they weren't going a full 18, but even if they were, I would have stopped and said no thank you to the back nine.


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#2 Jagpilotohio

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 01:38 PM

Jesus....you just gave me the cold sweats reading that...


You desperately want to tell them to shut the hell up or leave the group, but you can’t because you’re actually a polite considerate human being....unlike them.
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#3 wombat_vortex

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 01:41 PM

 Jagpilotohio, on 27 March 2018 - 01:38 PM, said:

Jesus....you just gave me the cold sweats reading that...


You desperately want to tell them to shut the hell up or leave the group, but you can’t because you’re actually a polite considerate human being....unlike them.


I certainly felt like that.  But on the other hand I'd like to be extra careful when it comes to young kids playing the game and feeling included.  I remember being that age and playing with adults.  I wouldn't want to hurt someone's feelings and make them feel like they shouldn't be somewhere.

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#4 InTheHole

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 01:51 PM

I actually took up golf after my son.  He was pretty good- but he was still a kid at the time.  If he was heading down the road of a temper tantrum, I quickly removed him from any group we were in and let the adults continue.  I guess not everyone is as considerate.  They forget the time dedication and cost of a round of golf, and that this may be someone's only recreation all week.

Kids belong when they're kept under control.  Although, there were several occasions where my son was the most well behaved golfer in the group.  We played with some guests once at the club I was a member of.  The guests behavior made me embarrassed to be a golfer (cursing, throwing clubs, etc.).  So it isn't always the kids.

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#5 Justsomeguy

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 03:16 PM

You never want to get between kid and parent, so you can't say anything unless something bananas is going on.
Someone made a good point about it potentially ruining an adult's one day off.
I guess u have to find a way to disengage. Let them play through or ask them to hold off. But u don't want to scar the child, and if they're slow, u can't see waiting another 15m or more for them to move on.
Tough spot.

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#6 mark174ace

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 04:16 PM

You cannot tell the mother what to do regarding her kid (as much as we all would like to), but you can definitely let both of them know that both of them are ruining the enjoyment of your day off.

I have worked a couple of Korean guys that are married to those types and it is brutal to watch or hear the stories. My boss is one of the smartest and forward thinking person I have ever met. He does nothing but all the right things for his family and nothing for himself. His wife just destroys him on a regular basis and she has raised the kids to have the personality of a doorknob.

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#7 vaca22

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 04:30 PM

Showed up late to the course one mid fall evening to chip and putt. I was the only one around as the sun was setting.  GLORIOUS.  Shortly after a man showed up with his young daughter.  Like...10?  He was barking at her to grip the putter a certain way, and was getting frustrated at her inabilty to correctly read break.  

Huge buzzkill.  I felt bad for that girl and had to leave because I didn't want to make a scene, but I made sure her father saw my ice cold look as I made my way to the car.

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#8 wombat_vortex

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 04:41 PM

Maybe it was just the mother/daughter dynamic, especially in that culture.  I've played with young kids before, who were accompanied by their Dads.  Those times the parent seemed more like a coach who would lead their young golfer in the right direction, but the kid was in charge of making the right shots/decisions on the course.  Not so much a do what I say exactly ect.

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#9 kevin2

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 05:50 PM

WAY to many golfers of all ages and abilities spoiling a good round of golf out there. I guess learn how to ask them politely to STOP or LEAVE. Hard, I know!
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#10 Medic

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 06:19 PM

Easy way to put an end to it....

They start up and you simply pull your camera phone out, walk up to them and start videoing. When they look over annoyed just say "No, don't stop now - this is gonna go viral and I'm going to make a fortune off of it!"

Game over. Guaranteed.

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#11 lumberman2462

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Posted 27 March 2018 - 07:40 PM

Everyone has heard of Little League Parents, Soccer Parents etc....and it’s rarely in a positive light.

Golf has them too.  




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#12 CTgolf

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Posted 28 March 2018 - 08:41 AM

this might sound crazy, but I believe there are some kids who actually respond better to such over-parenting (or at least it doesn't affect them negatively, and provides motivation to do better); chances are that is the dynamic they have had in every aspect of their lives since they were born...so they know no different

that doesn't speak to the fact that it is impolite and ruins the experience for the other players in the group, but getting paired with less-than-ideal players (there was another post on "Playing with bad golfers....") is always a risk when you don't come with a foursome to a public course

Edited by CTgolf, 28 March 2018 - 08:42 AM.


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#13 lawsonman

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Posted 28 March 2018 - 08:56 AM

I don't get the idea you shouldn't say something to the mother. If someone is doing something to ruin my round, I'm saying something.
Welcome to where dumb opinions are better than no opinion. :)

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#14 Petunia Sprinkle

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Posted 28 March 2018 - 08:58 AM

 CTgolf, on 28 March 2018 - 08:41 AM, said:

this might sound crazy, but I believe there are some kids who actually respond better to such over-parenting (or at least it doesn't affect them negatively, and provides motivation to do better); chances are that is the dynamic they have had in every aspect of their lives since they were born...so they know no different

that doesn't speak to the fact that it is impolite and ruins the experience for the other players in the group, but getting paired with less-than-ideal players (there was another post on "Playing with bad golfers....") is always a risk when you don't come with a foursome to a public course

If youíre going to err on one side, or the other, itís better to go with over-parenting. When he was in his last few weeks, dying of cancer, I was very glad to have been able to thank my dad for being a giant pain in my *** when he was supposed to be.

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#15 CTgolf

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 06:34 AM

 Petunia Sprinkle, on 28 March 2018 - 08:58 AM, said:

 CTgolf, on 28 March 2018 - 08:41 AM, said:

this might sound crazy, but I believe there are some kids who actually respond better to such over-parenting (or at least it doesn't affect them negatively, and provides motivation to do better); chances are that is the dynamic they have had in every aspect of their lives since they were born...so they know no different

that doesn't speak to the fact that it is impolite and ruins the experience for the other players in the group, but getting paired with less-than-ideal players (there was another post on "Playing with bad golfers....") is always a risk when you don't come with a foursome to a public course

If you're going to err on one side, or the other, it's better to go with over-parenting. When he was in his last few weeks, dying of cancer, I was very glad to have been able to thank my dad for being a giant pain in my *** when he was supposed to be.

I think here in the US there is often an assumption that there is one style of parenting that is ideal for all/most kids, which I think is not correct.

Something about the culture in South Korea seems to be developing world-beating talent for the LPGA, and I'm guessing it's not the attitude of "let kids have fun".

It doesn't seem to be translating to the men's side though (not many great Korean PGA Tour Pros) - perhaps because it's more of a power game for them?


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#16 CTgolf

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM

speaking of Tiger Moms:

https://nypost.com/2...-and-it-worked/

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#17 T-Gates

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 11:45 AM

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM, said:


"Lulu was ordered to practice the violin six hours a day, and both girls were required to play the piano flawlessly — or Chua would threaten to burn their stuffed animals. The merest hint of failure was met with name-calling: Sophia was “garbage,” Lulu a “disgrace as a daughter.”"

Wow. Tiger mom? More like emotional abuse...
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#18 Nard_S

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 12:12 PM

The over analysis and coaching that regularly goes on at the range or practice green is obscene. How would anybody here llike play by play commentary on every practice shot?
On the course have never come across it, in fact most are too courteous and too quick and should allow kid to work it out a bit. But the Tiger parents, the would be Earl's? Please.

Edited by Nard_S, 29 March 2018 - 12:13 PM.


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#19 cardoustie

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 12:20 PM

I certainly would've told the mother that they were ruining the day for the group.  What's the worst that can happen, she quiets down and won't talk to you?
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#20 leezer99

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 01:00 PM

 T-Gates, on 29 March 2018 - 11:45 AM, said:

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM, said:


"Lulu was ordered to practice the violin six hours a day, and both girls were required to play the piano flawlessly — or Chua would threaten to burn their stuffed animals. The merest hint of failure was met with name-calling: Sophia was “garbage,” Lulu a “disgrace as a daughter.”"

Wow. Tiger mom? More like emotional abuse...

So you're a 'just do your best' parent?


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#21 wobgon

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 01:07 PM

 leezer99, on 29 March 2018 - 01:00 PM, said:

 T-Gates, on 29 March 2018 - 11:45 AM, said:

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM, said:


"Lulu was ordered to practice the violin six hours a day, and both girls were required to play the piano flawlessly — or Chua would threaten to burn their stuffed animals. The merest hint of failure was met with name-calling: Sophia was “garbage,” Lulu a “disgrace as a daughter.”"

Wow. Tiger mom? More like emotional abuse...

So you're a 'just do your best' parent?
Quite a difference from one to the other.

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#22 IcemanYVR

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 01:08 PM

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 06:34 AM, said:

 Petunia Sprinkle, on 28 March 2018 - 08:58 AM, said:

 CTgolf, on 28 March 2018 - 08:41 AM, said:

this might sound crazy, but I believe there are some kids who actually respond better to such over-parenting (or at least it doesn't affect them negatively, and provides motivation to do better); chances are that is the dynamic they have had in every aspect of their lives since they were born...so they know no different

that doesn't speak to the fact that it is impolite and ruins the experience for the other players in the group, but getting paired with less-than-ideal players (there was another post on "Playing with bad golfers....") is always a risk when you don't come with a foursome to a public course

If you're going to err on one side, or the other, it's better to go with over-parenting. When he was in his last few weeks, dying of cancer, I was very glad to have been able to thank my dad for being a giant pain in my *** when he was supposed to be.

I think here in the US there is often an assumption that there is one style of parenting that is ideal for all/most kids, which I think is not correct.

Something about the culture in South Korea seems to be developing world-beating talent for the LPGA, and I'm guessing it's not the attitude of "let kids have fun".

It doesn't seem to be translating to the men's side though (not many great Korean PGA Tour Pros) - perhaps because it's more of a power game for them?


South Korean men are required to take part in a mandatory two year military service right at the prime of what would be their training and career prep. This has railroaded many attempts by SK males as two years away from the game can be killer.

Sang Moon Bae has just returned from active duty, and Si Woo Kim will soon start his. The only way to avoid it is too win a major title or Olympic Medal. Kim's win at The Players wasn't enough as it's not considered a major.
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#23 ademsas

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 05:24 PM

 wombat_vortex, on 27 March 2018 - 01:32 PM, said:

Wondering if anyone else has come across this situation.  A single joins our group, 11 year old asian girl and her mother.  The young girl was pretty darn good for her age and could hit the ball well, not as far as us adults, but could definitely keep up. Her mother was walking with her, not playing, and these two were at each other's throats the entire time.  An overbearing mother, coupled with an adolescent with a bit of an attitude.  Let's just say the mood of the entire group quickly turned sour.  They really brought us down and it seemed like all the fun was quickly sucked out of the afternoon of golf.  We happily parted ways after 9, they weren't going a full 18, but even if they were, I would have stopped and said no thank you to the back nine.

Not sure we're you're from but I feel I have met this lady and her daughter.

I played a round with a couple buddies a couple months back and a lady and her daughter not so different from the ones above joined. Same deal - barking at her, yelling at her. It was hard to figure out which was the child tbh.

On the 10th, it's a short par 3, daughter pulled it a little and ended up on the fringe. Mom lost her s**t. Began using the whole: "I did all this for you and this is how you play...?" bs. Poor girl was beginning to cry. It was a mess... Mother never apologized to the rest of the group. It was the worst round of golf I've ever experienced and this time I can confidently say it had nothing to do with my poor play.
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#24 T-Gates

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Posted 30 March 2018 - 06:10 PM

 leezer99, on 29 March 2018 - 01:00 PM, said:

 T-Gates, on 29 March 2018 - 11:45 AM, said:

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM, said:


"Lulu was ordered to practice the violin six hours a day, and both girls were required to play the piano flawlessly — or Chua would threaten to burn their stuffed animals. The merest hint of failure was met with name-calling: Sophia was “garbage,” Lulu a “disgrace as a daughter.”"

Wow. Tiger mom? More like emotional abuse...

So you're a 'just do your best' parent?

No, and neither were my parents. But they didn't burn my stuffed animals and call me a disgrace. They pulled my a** off the golf course if I was being a brat and took my car away if I got bad grades.

Edited by T-Gates, 30 March 2018 - 06:11 PM.

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#25 leezer99

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Posted 30 March 2018 - 09:27 PM

 T-Gates, on 30 March 2018 - 06:10 PM, said:

 leezer99, on 29 March 2018 - 01:00 PM, said:

 T-Gates, on 29 March 2018 - 11:45 AM, said:

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM, said:


"Lulu was ordered to practice the violin six hours a day, and both girls were required to play the piano flawlessly — or Chua would threaten to burn their stuffed animals. The merest hint of failure was met with name-calling: Sophia was “garbage,” Lulu a “disgrace as a daughter.”"

Wow. Tiger mom? More like emotional abuse...

So you're a 'just do your best' parent?

No, and neither were my parents. But they didn't burn my stuffed animals and call me a disgrace. They pulled my a** off the golf course if I was being a brat and took my car away if I got bad grades.

Well, from reading the article and reading your replies it's easy to see who's more well adjusted.


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#26 RP29

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Posted 02 April 2018 - 06:08 PM

To each his own... I used to work with Olympians and typically speaking parents were present but arms length from their kid's development.

Maybe anecdotally it creates superior individual but I think the risk outweighs the reward... I would never ever verbally abuse my daughter, though I am very stern with her.
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#27 T-Gates

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 08:45 PM

 leezer99, on 30 March 2018 - 09:27 PM, said:

 T-Gates, on 30 March 2018 - 06:10 PM, said:

 leezer99, on 29 March 2018 - 01:00 PM, said:

 T-Gates, on 29 March 2018 - 11:45 AM, said:

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM, said:


"Lulu was ordered to practice the violin six hours a day, and both girls were required to play the piano flawlessly — or Chua would threaten to burn their stuffed animals. The merest hint of failure was met with name-calling: Sophia was “garbage,” Lulu a “disgrace as a daughter.”"

Wow. Tiger mom? More like emotional abuse...

So you're a 'just do your best' parent?

No, and neither were my parents. But they didn't burn my stuffed animals and call me a disgrace. They pulled my a** off the golf course if I was being a brat and took my car away if I got bad grades.

Well, from reading the article and reading your replies it's easy to see who's more well adjusted.
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#28 Llortamaisey

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 10:39 PM

The OP did not play with a ‚ÄúTiger Mom‚ÄĚ. Anyone that has read the book knows that a Tiger Mom would not let their child play golf let alone sports. Amy Chua says as much. She was not very happy when Lulu picked up tennis and only tolerated it because there had been some relative Chinese success in the sport. Golf would be a big no no for a Tiger Mom.

Edited by Llortamaisey, 04 April 2018 - 10:41 PM.


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#29 geesecougar2

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 10:52 PM

 CTgolf, on 29 March 2018 - 08:09 AM, said:


There are many blogs and forums dedicated to the unique experience of being a hapa child of an asian mother and white father. And they pretty much universally despise Amy Chua.
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#30 nealkb

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Posted 04 April 2018 - 11:04 PM

I played with a girl/teen who was trying out for her middle school's golf team the next day. Her dad was not overbearing, and actually just posted up at the clubhouse for most of the holes. He would come and talk to her whenever the course brought us back to the clubhouse. At that point my dad and I start laughing cuz they were bickering just the way him and I do.

She thoroughly beat me and my dad, and i picked up a few things watching her swing. Its not always bad!

If it helps, im Indian.. dotted, not feathered.. I relate to the "asian" upbringing

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