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Great article for junior golf parents


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#1 heavy_hitter

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 07:51 PM

https://golfstateofm...ior-golfer/amp/


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#2 wildcatden

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 08:03 PM

This article expresses exactly what I have been trying to get my wife to understand for months. Thanks!!

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#3 dpb5031

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 08:25 PM

Excellent article!
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#4 Tannerbug33

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 10:59 PM

Great article

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#5 Pinewood Golfer

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 11:13 PM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 04 January 2018 - 07:51 PM, said:


Thatís a good article


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#6 propredicr

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 11:55 PM

Great article!  Unfortunately, guilty of some of these😲.  Continuing to learn on the fly.


Edited by propredicr, 05 January 2018 - 12:08 AM.


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#7 CTgolf

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 08:40 AM

Great article - thanks for posting

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#8 dpb5031

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 09:16 AM

View Postpropredicr, on 04 January 2018 - 11:55 PM, said:

Great article!  Unfortunately, guilty of some of these😲.  Continuing to learn on the fly.

We're all probably guilty of some of this, even though intentions are pure.
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#9 heavy_hitter

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 09:37 AM

I have read the article three times.  I always keeping coming back to this.

1. How A Parent Of A Junior Golfer Can Help Lower Expectations


What types of goals can you set?  This is very, very difficult.  I have tried to wrap my head around it and am having a hard time of coming up with these goals within a round.  One that I can think of is to set a goal to go on at least one three hole par streak or better during the round.  Once you hit three, see how many in a row you can get.  If you make a score above par then try to go on another streak of at least a three hole stretch with par or better.  I think this is a good way to play a round in the first place.  

Anyone else with any other ideas?

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#10 leezer99

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:02 AM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 05 January 2018 - 09:37 AM, said:

I have read the article three times.  I always keeping coming back to this.

1. How A Parent Of A Junior Golfer Can Help Lower Expectations


What types of goals can you set?  This is very, very difficult.  I have tried to wrap my head around it and am having a hard time of coming up with these goals within a round.  One that I can think of is to set a goal to go on at least one three hole par streak or better during the round.  Once you hit three, see how many in a row you can get.  If you make a score above par then try to go on another streak of at least a three hole stretch with par or better.  I think this is a good way to play a round in the first place.  

Anyone else with any other ideas?

GIR per round - top 100 PGA Tour players are around 65%.  Set a goal to hit 12 of 18 and you're right there.

Consecutive fairways hit - some pros go multiple rounds without missing a fairway but maybe set a goal of five or so?


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#11 dpb5031

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:14 AM

I think the idea is to emphasize and focus more on process than outcomes.  It's a tough concept for me as I'm a very competitive type and personally very outcome motivated. But, im an adult.(although my wife may call "challenge" on that statement...lol!)😁

My understanding is to encourage your child to set goals like: keep pre-shot routine the same for every shot, execute without fear of outcome, accept the bad with the good, keep emotions steady - no extreme highs or lows, hold a balanced finish after every swing, etc.


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#12 heavy_hitter

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:24 AM

View Postdpb5031, on 05 January 2018 - 10:14 AM, said:

I think the idea is to emphasize and focus more on process than outcomes.  It's a tough concept for me as I'm a very competitive type and personally very outcome motivated. But, im an adult.(although my wife may call "challenge" on that statement...lol!)��

My understanding is to encourage your child to set goals like: keep pre-shot routine the same for every shot, execute without fear of outcome, accept the bad with the good, keep emotions steady - no extreme highs or lows, hold a balanced finish after every swing, etc.

My daughter's coach stresses believing in the process.  Since she stepped foot on campus I have heard that term from her many, many times.  So far she has struggled with trusting in the process.  Is this a term your daughter's coach has stressed?

Happened to have the Golf Channel on this morning and they had a Sports Psychologist on.  Watched the segment several times.  to paraphrase what he said....

Failure is important and part of the process (there is that word again).  Failure isn't your enemy, it is your partner in growth because you need it to learn how to achieve.  Don't let failures define you, let failures REFINE you to be all that you are meant to be in life.  Your failures make you grow and become a better YOU.  Failure is not a definition of who you are, it is an event that you have to move forward from.  When it happens are you going to fear and worry that is who you are or are you going to focus on FAITH and who you are becoming and continue to grow?  You have to let go of the outcome and focus on the process (there is that word again).  Let it go.  You have to SURRENDER and flow.  You are at your best when you do let go and not worry about the outcome.  Just give your best in the moment and trust the process (word again).  People are at their best in sport when they aren't thinking. You have to overcome the noise in your mind.  Fear believes in a negative future and FAITH believes in a positive future.  Don't worry about outcome or a final score and believe in the process (word again).  Outcomes whether positive or negative in sport don't define who one is as a person.

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#13 dpb5031

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:45 AM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 05 January 2018 - 10:24 AM, said:

View Postdpb5031, on 05 January 2018 - 10:14 AM, said:

I think the idea is to emphasize and focus more on process than outcomes.  It's a tough concept for me as I'm a very competitive type and personally very outcome motivated. But, im an adult.(although my wife may call "challenge" on that statement...lol!)��

My understanding is to encourage your child to set goals like: keep pre-shot routine the same for every shot, execute without fear of outcome, accept the bad with the good, keep emotions steady - no extreme highs or lows, hold a balanced finish after every swing, etc.

My daughter's coach stresses believing in the process.  Since she stepped foot on campus I have heard that term from her many, many times.  So far she has struggled with trusting in the process.  Is this a term your daughter's coach has stressed?

Happened to have the Golf Channel on this morning and they had a Sports Psychologist on.  Watched the segment several times.  to paraphrase what he said....

Failure is important and part of the process (there is that word again).  Failure isn't your enemy, it is your partner in growth because you need it to learn how to achieve.  Don't let failures define you, let failures REFINE you to be all that you are meant to be in life.  Your failures make you grow and become a better YOU.  Failure is not a definition of who you are, it is an event that you have to move forward from.  When it happens are you going to fear and worry that is who you are or are you going to focus on FAITH and who you are becoming and continue to grow?  You have to let go of the outcome and focus on the process (there is that word again).  Let it go.  You have to SURRENDER and flow.  You are at your best when you do let go and not worry about the outcome.  Just give your best in the moment and trust the process (word again).  People are at their best in sport when they aren't thinking. You have to overcome the noise in your mind.  Fear believes in a negative future and FAITH believes in a positive future.  Don't worry about outcome or a final score and believe in the process (word again).  Outcomes whether positive or negative in sport don't define who one is as a person.

That's a great summary!

Unfortunately my daughter's college coach doesn't emphasize or train the team with any of this stuff.  He's kind of "old school." They basically do the same drills and practice routine over and over with little concern about the mental/psychological aspects.
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#14 tiger1873

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

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#15 hangontight

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.


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#16 Smarques33

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:58 PM

Thanks for sharing this article. We are in the deep freeze here in the Northeast so haven’t spent much time thinking about golf. The “process” to me means letting them figure it out. I have spoken with two golf dads this year, one’s daughter in on the LPGA tour, the other’s son just signed to play with a national power in  D-1. Both were very successful juniors. Both Dads mentioned that their kids wanted to figure it out. Things like making pars from bad lies or behind trees. Scores happen because of those little things.



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#17 tiger1873

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldnít say donít play because of them but donít play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up itís a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

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#18 hangontight

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 11:46 AM

View Posttiger1873, on 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM, said:

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldnít say donít play because of them but donít play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up itís a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

Got it, makes sense.  I've talked to a few parents who play local tours like that.  Dealing with that Week after week would be tough.

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#19 iteachgolf

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 03:46 PM

View Posttiger1873, on 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM, said:

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldnít say donít play because of them but donít play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up itís a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

I prefer my juniors dominate before moving up.  One of my top juniors we kept him from playing in AJGA events until he was 16.  Didnít play FJTs until he was 14.  He won 7 of 11 Hurricane events he played as a 13-14 year old and easily won player of the year before he moved up in competition.  The top female junior I teach was very similar.  Didnít play an AJGA event until she was 15 and won the first one she played in.  

Them waiting to play bigger events had nothing to do with fear, it was about instilling confidence and turning them into champions with long term development in minds.  They both are two of the top juniors in the world.  I strongly believe if a player wants to be truly great, and not just pretty good, they should only play events they believe they can win.  And you build it up to where they believe they can win any event they play in.

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#20 leezer99

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 05:41 PM

View Postiteachgolf, on 06 January 2018 - 03:46 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM, said:

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldn’t say don’t play because of them but don’t play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up it’s a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

I prefer my juniors dominate before moving up.  One of my top juniors we kept him from playing in AJGA events until he was 16.  Didn’t play FJTs until he was 14.  He won 7 of 11 Hurricane events he played as a 13-14 year old and easily won player of the year before he moved up in competition.  The top female junior I teach was very similar.  Didn’t play an AJGA event until she was 15 and won the first one she played in.  

Them waiting to play bigger events had nothing to do with fear, it was about instilling confidence and turning them into champions with long term development in minds.  They both are two of the top juniors in the world.  I strongly believe if a player wants to be truly great, and not just pretty good, they should only play events they believe they can win.  And you build it up to where they believe they can win any event they play in.
But don't all the kids believe they can win regardless of the tournament?


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#21 iteachgolf

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 06:04 PM

View Postleezer99, on 06 January 2018 - 05:41 PM, said:

View Postiteachgolf, on 06 January 2018 - 03:46 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM, said:

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldnít say donít play because of them but donít play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up itís a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

I prefer my juniors dominate before moving up.  One of my top juniors we kept him from playing in AJGA events until he was 16.  Didnít play FJTs until he was 14.  He won 7 of 11 Hurricane events he played as a 13-14 year old and easily won player of the year before he moved up in competition.  The top female junior I teach was very similar.  Didnít play an AJGA event until she was 15 and won the first one she played in.  

Them waiting to play bigger events had nothing to do with fear, it was about instilling confidence and turning them into champions with long term development in minds.  They both are two of the top juniors in the world.  I strongly believe if a player wants to be truly great, and not just pretty good, they should only play events they believe they can win.  And you build it up to where they believe they can win any event they play in.
But don't all the kids believe they can win regardless of the tournament?

Absolutely not.  Plenty of kids are playing big AJGAs thinking if I top 20 Iíll move up this far in the ranking.  Iíd actually say most kids donít believe they can win regional and national level events and are simply playing to improve their ranking, would guess maybe 25-30% of the field truly believes they can win.   At many USGA qualifiers most of the field is hoping to career it just to qualify.

Kids goal should be to win every event, but they shouldnít expect to win every event.

Edited by iteachgolf, 06 January 2018 - 06:09 PM.


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#22 heavy_hitter

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 06:26 PM

View Postleezer99, on 06 January 2018 - 05:41 PM, said:

View Postiteachgolf, on 06 January 2018 - 03:46 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM, said:

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldn’t say don’t play because of them but don’t play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up it’s a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

I prefer my juniors dominate before moving up.  One of my top juniors we kept him from playing in AJGA events until he was 16.  Didn’t play FJTs until he was 14.  He won 7 of 11 Hurricane events he played as a 13-14 year old and easily won player of the year before he moved up in competition.  The top female junior I teach was very similar.  Didn’t play an AJGA event until she was 15 and won the first one she played in.  

Them waiting to play bigger events had nothing to do with fear, it was about instilling confidence and turning them into champions with long term development in minds.  They both are two of the top juniors in the world.  I strongly believe if a player wants to be truly great, and not just pretty good, they should only play events they believe they can win.  And you build it up to where they believe they can win any event they play in.
But don't all the kids believe they can win regardless of the tournament?

I don’t think they do.  They start looking at who is entered.  They think they may have a chance, but they “don’t know”.

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#23 tiger1873

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 09:13 PM

View Postiteachgolf, on 06 January 2018 - 03:46 PM, said:


I prefer my juniors dominate before moving up.  One of my top juniors we kept him from playing in AJGA events until he was 16.  Didnít play FJTs until he was 14.  He won 7 of 11 Hurricane events he played as a 13-14 year old and easily won player of the year before he moved up in competition.  The top female junior I teach was very similar.  Didnít play an AJGA event until she was 15 and won the first one she played in.  

Them waiting to play bigger events had nothing to do with fear, it was about instilling confidence and turning them into champions with long term development in minds.  They both are two of the top juniors in the world.  I strongly believe if a player wants to be truly great, and not just pretty good, they should only play events they believe they can win.  And you build it up to where they believe they can win any event they play in.

Dominating and moving up is fine but if they stay too long in low level tournaments so there dads can still caddy and only play easy courses there not doing anyone a favor.  If there winning the regional tournament great but if you winning every us kids local and still playing them you need to move on.

Locally we have a girl who wins every local us kids tournament and has already qualified for world because she finished top 10.  She was on a tv show a few years ago and if she misses a shot her dad is nuts. Played the local pga championship and it was worse then a high school tournament and rules were not really enforced. We even ran out a of daylight and finished in the dark.  The course was so overstack we waited longer the. Actually playing on every hole and weíre told to hurry it up because we were running out of light.The round was over 6 long.

These tournaments and tours are not worth our time and there are plenty of options with better experiences.

Edited by tiger1873, 06 January 2018 - 09:22 PM.


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#24 agatha

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Posted 07 January 2018 - 02:09 AM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 05 January 2018 - 09:37 AM, said:

I have read the article three times.  I always keeping coming back to this.

1. How A Parent Of A Junior Golfer Can Help Lower Expectations


What types of goals can you set?  This is very, very difficult.  I have tried to wrap my head around it and am having a hard time of coming up with these goals within a round.  One that I can think of is to set a goal to go on at least one three hole par streak or better during the round.  Once you hit three, see how many in a row you can get.  If you make a score above par then try to go on another streak of at least a three hole stretch with par or better.  I think this is a good way to play a round in the first place.  

Anyone else with any other ideas?


When my son was playing junior golf it was suggested to set goals that were achievable and within his control such as -  I will have a consistent pre shot routine, or I won't let a poor result affect my next shot.  Made sense to us, it is something the player can control.

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#25 heavy_hitter

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 09:54 AM

View Postiteachgolf, on 06 January 2018 - 03:46 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM, said:

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldn't say don't play because of them but don't play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up it's a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

I prefer my juniors dominate before moving up.  One of my top juniors we kept him from playing in AJGA events until he was 16.  Didn't play FJTs until he was 14.  He won 7 of 11 Hurricane events he played as a 13-14 year old and easily won player of the year before he moved up in competition.  The top female junior I teach was very similar.  Didn't play an AJGA event until she was 15 and won the first one she played in.  

Them waiting to play bigger events had nothing to do with fear, it was about instilling confidence and turning them into champions with long term development in minds.  They both are two of the top juniors in the world.  I strongly believe if a player wants to be truly great, and not just pretty good, they should only play events they believe they can win.  And you build it up to where they believe they can win any event they play in.

This post is making me rethink the schedule for this year.  I appreciate it.  My son is a tweener in age.

I know who Tiger is talking about.  There is no reason for her to be playing in Local Tour events in her age group.  This girl does play up when she can and dominates when she does.  There is no reason for her father to even consider playing in US Kids Local events.


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#26 hangontight

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 10:11 AM

Apologies if this article was already posted somewhere on here (and please tell me if it was!, I dont want to be redundant,  but I couldn't find it in a search), I cant recall if I pulled this off of a forum or someone sent it to me.  Anyway, another interesting article that fits well with the article in the OP.  This one is about youth sports in general, but lots of applicability to golf.

Why 70% of kids quite sports by age 13

https://www.washingt...m=.6c22698ed1bd

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#27 CTgolf

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 10:30 AM

View Posthangontight, on 08 January 2018 - 10:11 AM, said:

Apologies if this article was already posted somewhere on here (and please tell me if it was!, I dont want to be redundant,  but I couldn't find it in a search), I cant recall if I pulled this off of a forum or someone sent it to me.  Anyway, another interesting article that fits well with the article in the OP.  This one is about youth sports in general, but lots of applicability to golf.

Why 70% of kids quite sports by age 13

https://www.washingt...m=.6c22698ed1bd

Good article

The are a lot of structural forces putting pressure on kids - not just parents' expectations

Perhaps as important, competitive sports attract the type of person who would find enjoyment and satisfaction as much from winning as the process (participation) itself; the reality is, the teens who drop because they don't excel at sports may be completely rational in deciding to spend their time engaged in activities that may bring them more happiness than trying to compete in areas that they are not well equipped

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#28 darter79

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 10:35 AM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 08 January 2018 - 09:54 AM, said:

View Postiteachgolf, on 06 January 2018 - 03:46 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 06 January 2018 - 09:35 AM, said:

View Posthangontight, on 05 January 2018 - 02:31 PM, said:

View Posttiger1873, on 05 January 2018 - 01:51 PM, said:

Good article, the hard part is every kid is different.  I also think failure is very important for them to grow.  You also have to be careful and not put them in events where others do not feel like there kids can have a failure. Playing too much with those kids will hurt their long term development and the parents can create a toxic environment.

At a young age kids can only score so low. Usually if they take a big risk and something goes wrong they end up with a high score.  Sometimes though that risk pays off and they win big. Locally I notice more and more kids are not allowed to take the risky shot and instead will just take an extra stroke or two. If they take the shot I see the dad get mad and say they need to listen.These same kids also play the easier courses and practice daily the same courses.  When you see that type of thing go on it's time to move to another tour.  Also if you see the same kids win ever week don't take the tour or those kids seriously because those kids should have moved on to bigger tournaments if there truly that good.

Good thoughts.  Ime not sure about avoiding Tmnts with those types of toxic parents or kids though.  While I cringe at playing with certain specific kids or parents that we've come to know as having bad on Course behavior , I've never considered son not playing because of them.  I think that is a non controllable factor- Maybe getting paired presents a good lesson opportunity in focusing (and how NOT to act!). There is 3 or 4 specific kids/parents that we occasionally are paired with- when they go into orbit over a missed putt like they always do my son just looks at me like "they are freaking crazy, Dad!" .  We just walk on the other side of fairway and do our thing.

I wouldn't say don't play because of them but don't play every week in tournaments that encourage or have an aboundunce of them.

If you see the same kid win every tournament every week but never moves up it's a problem for the tour and everyone else. I have found those kids only stay there because they can win on a certain tour. If they move up they tend to lose and can not take it.

I also see where there is supposed be better tournaments but the only way they screen is they charge more. You end up playing with the dad with a 8 year old who thinks she good.  You also have to watch tournaments that stack too many kids on the course and no supervision.  

Do too many of these tournaments and it will suck the fun out of golf for everyone.

I prefer my juniors dominate before moving up.  One of my top juniors we kept him from playing in AJGA events until he was 16.  Didn't play FJTs until he was 14.  He won 7 of 11 Hurricane events he played as a 13-14 year old and easily won player of the year before he moved up in competition.  The top female junior I teach was very similar.  Didn't play an AJGA event until she was 15 and won the first one she played in.  

Them waiting to play bigger events had nothing to do with fear, it was about instilling confidence and turning them into champions with long term development in minds.  They both are two of the top juniors in the world.  I strongly believe if a player wants to be truly great, and not just pretty good, they should only play events they believe they can win.  And you build it up to where they believe they can win any event they play in.

This post is making me rethink the schedule for this year.  I appreciate it.  My son is a tweener in age.

I know who Tiger is talking about.  There is no reason for her to be playing in Local Tour events in her age group.  This girl does play up when she can and dominates when she does.  There is no reason for her father to even consider playing in US Kids Local events.

The same kid who lives in Texas but did DCP in Minnesota, and from the rumor mill because the scores are lower up there.

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#29 heavy_hitter

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 10:49 AM

View Postdarter79, on 08 January 2018 - 10:35 AM, said:



The same kid who lives in Texas but did DCP in Minnesota, and from the rumor mill because the scores are lower up there.

Yep.  You can't fault the kid.  Only doing what the dad wants.

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#30 tiger1873

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 03:06 PM

View Postheavy_hitter, on 08 January 2018 - 10:49 AM, said:

View Postdarter79, on 08 January 2018 - 10:35 AM, said:

The same kid who lives in Texas but did DCP in Minnesota, and from the rumor mill because the scores are lower up there.

Yep.  You can't fault the kid.  Only doing what the dad wants.

Yep that is the one of the worst offenders around here she does it so there is less competition in the worlds. It is not easy to play with them video taping every shot and the local tour does nothing about it.  But she is not the only one either that is a problem.  Some of the boys out there playing have parents 100 times worse. Instead of complaining I just decided it better to look elsewhere to compete then play in a traveling circus.

Edited by tiger1873, 08 January 2018 - 03:10 PM.


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