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Just had the first baby, how do I play golf?


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#61 CheckJV

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Posted 26 December 2017 - 08:02 PM

Are you sure the baby is yours?  Remember, you were out playing golf!  

Seriously, golf is not important. It’s fun and it’s a great outlet and pastime. However, there is absolutely nothing more important than spending time with your family. You will get some golf in. It won’t be much. If you have a second or third child you may not play at all for a while. Not to worry. You will be too busy with kid stuff anyway. It will be great. Time will pass and you will play a bit more golf between dad duties and husband duties. And  before you know it, the kids will be grown and you will be one of the old guys at the golf course.


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#62 Justsomeguy

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Posted 29 December 2017 - 01:24 AM

You've heard it time and time again: go get fit. No substitute for the watchful eye of a professional who doubles as a nanny and a good launch monitor.
Just kidding. My first is now 5mos, and I think I've played 5 times, chipped and putted a little bit.
Mostly I find myself working more to be productive, and my sweet wife encourages me to go play when I've hit burnout.
Keep playing in moderation. I don't want to be the only jerk dad who plays once a month or so ;)
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#63 Mignuz

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Posted 29 December 2017 - 06:00 AM

Had a newborn 3 years ago.
My handicap went from 3.3 to 5.3
For sure less golf played, but no regrets at all, I love to stay with my boy.
And anyway, I can still play a decent amoint of golf, but with a different quality.
Went a lot to the driving range when my son was 0-1 yo, he slept/stayed in his stroller and I putted/pitched/shot buckets of balls.
since he was 2, he used to come with mom and dad to play 9 holes, he plays our irons(!) even though he has his own ones.
He sits in the middle of us in the cart and he enjoys it a lot.
When he's "tired" he watches a cartoon in the phone and stays in the cart letting us play.
A wonderful way to spend time with your wife and with your son.
Of course, you can't watch the score while doing that, even because a lot of times your son will want to play/take/move you ball....

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#64 youraway2

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Posted 29 December 2017 - 08:06 PM

You don't and if you do seldom for awhile, my bet is your mate needs allot of support right now.  Don't miss out, this time only occurs once.  Also one might ask; when will she get to play?

Edited by youraway2, 29 December 2017 - 08:08 PM.


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#65 markjay1

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Posted 30 December 2017 - 09:57 AM

This guy has it all figured out:

https://www.instagra.../p/BWOHWQtgrHX/


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#66 Carl Spackler3

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Posted 30 December 2017 - 04:50 PM

First off God bless and congratulations. I only have this advice and I hope it doesn’t sound nasty. Make sure you put up with some grief early to get out once a week. It is easy to let it slip away if you get away from the game for too long. If you go through some grief but set the president you’ll be much better off later. Now to be fair, play early, don’t go out for long lunch after and come home ready to help with your baby. You”ll be fine, best wishes

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#67 Jwin323

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Posted 30 December 2017 - 10:00 PM

View Postcardoustie, on 09 December 2017 - 09:44 PM, said:

Little cutie !  My girls are 18 and 19 .... still worry

Guys like me is why you worry.

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#68 llewol007

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Posted 02 January 2018 - 01:32 AM

All about being clear and honest with your wife about golfing. If you know the round is gonna take 5 hours don't say it's gonna be 4 hours. I have 4 kids and my wife knows how important golf is for me. She also knows that if she needs to decompress, I'm gonna pull my weight and be able to watch the baby. Stay balanced and the birth of a baby is not the end of the world but the beginning.
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#69 pldbryan

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Posted 02 January 2018 - 02:29 AM

PlAnning is key!  As a few have said, be proactive on giving momma some time off. I know that for me it makes a difference if I have allowed time for the wife to get some rest and a break.

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#70 Wriggles

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Posted 02 January 2018 - 06:40 AM

Congratulations on the new baby!

Someone above advised to have a responsible adult pinch hit when necessary.  Good idea, but I'd limit it to grandparents, or  an aunt, especially one who never had her own children.

Aunts like that are wonderful.  (I know first hand, my late Aunt Mildred and my missus never had children.  They were/are a blessing to their respective families.)

PS:  And remember to put golf on minimal mode for a while.

Edited by Wriggles, 02 January 2018 - 06:41 AM.


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#71 bazinky

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Posted 02 January 2018 - 09:52 AM

A lot of great advice in this thread.

I know this might seem counter-intuitive, but I'd consider going private if you haven't already and can afford it (lol, kids aren't cheap!). Access and the better pace of play made a huge difference for me, and the premium I payed for it allowed me to get enough golf in to stay sane and still not be an absentee father.  Plus private golf is a lot more conducive to playing when you can't fit a traditional 18 hole round in.

Some of my favorite weekend days with my daughter and wife were when I was up and on the course before they were up (both my ladies are sleepers, thankfully). I would finish up my round at between 10 and 11, and meet them at the pool for the rest of the day.
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#72 slimeone

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Posted 03 January 2018 - 05:59 AM

My boy (Ace) just turned two. I truly haven't played much since he was born, but he loves putting and hopefully he'll enjoy playing when he's older, then we can play together. Regardless, golf will always be there once he's grown up but I'll never get these moments with him again and he's growing up so fast.

That said, I believe both parents need to make time for your own hobbies and time out, otherwise it's exhausting. My wife and I have a bit of a credit system which works quite well, although I seem to have a lot of credits in the bank which I never get to use!

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#73 Ferguson

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Posted 03 January 2018 - 06:45 AM

 Silicon Valley Dale, on 16 December 2017 - 07:44 PM, said:

 dpb5031, on 16 December 2017 - 04:48 PM, said:

Gotta love all the lectures from the self righteous...lol!

It's hardly impossible to continue playing golf while still being a great dad, but it will likely take some compromise, sacrifice, creativity, and initiative. You just have to figure out what will work best given work & family circumstances.

I'm certainly not self righteous. My post was not meant in that sense. It wasn't a reply to the OP that I read as simply wants to find out a way to play a little golf with a new child. That I totally get. If I didn't offer hints on how to do that, it was because that most here had already expressed the same ideas and logics that I agreed with. Be available. Pull your weight. Make sure the Mrs has "me time" too. My "self righteousness" was after reading a post that led me to believe that someone that I admittedly may have read wrong and I certainly hope that I did basically saying they dropped off the little one every week at daycare on their only day off together each week. My kids all hated daycare. Maybe this situation is different. Mine had to suffer through it because my wife and I were trying to earn a living. If I've ever dropped them off just to get some me time-which I may have at some point as a once off deal-I don't remember it.

I can admit that my thinking may not apply to everyone and if I was wrong I apologize. Obviously the opposite opinion is more popular than mine since there are no "+1" type posts to mine as opposed to the other one. It wasn't meant to read as self righteous, it was meant more as a retort to a perceived idea that I didn't agree with. Honor your commitments was my only point. If you can't honor them then don't make them. I get that I'm probably way in the minority on the showing up to work issue as well and would never expect someone to follow that. In all honesty my lifetime personal perfect attendance record is much more a matter of pride for me at this point than my employers, which I'm sure would be ok if I called in sick tomorrow. For whatever reason. I'm sure I could call my supervisor and tell him I was going golfing and he'd be fine with it. He'd probably scratch his head a little wondering why I chose that reason after all these years but it wouldn't be a big deal.

So while I disagree that I was being self rightoes while acknowledging that this reply will be read as such, my point is very valid. If you make commitments you should try to honor them. The original post that I replied to had a couple reasons that I couldn't wrap my head around. I also acknowledge that it's a different world as far as honoring work commitments than when I entered the workforce. Most employers have the same loyalty that most employees do. Family commitments are much more serious and really the only thing that upset me prior. I've had kids golfing with me for a while now-well before they could even play-and I can't understand anything other than having them around whenever you can. If that's self righteous than I guess that I'm self righteous.


We need more paragraphs!

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#74 sneaky_pete

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Posted 03 January 2018 - 09:00 AM

congratulations on the new arrival.  my son is 5 and I get in a couple of games a week.  the way it works in my house is that I get to play all the golf I can, and my wife is into amateur theatre so she gets to do as much of that as she likes .  it works well as her practice is usually week nights and the occasional weekend.  I work my golf around that, but when my wife has something on the golf takes a back seat - no questions asked.  find out what she likes to do and make time to allow her to do it - compromise!

I also take the earliest tee times I can so that means teeing off at 6.30am and being back home by around 11.30am.  the course I play is only five minutes away so I can easily slip in a couple of beers as well.  this gives plenty of time for family for the rest of the day.

my son has spurts where he is keen to come out and hit golf balls around the practice green as well - he has his own set of clubs.  I take him out there at every opportunity to get in some practice and it gives my wife some 'me' time.
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#75 Silicon Valley Dale

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Posted 03 January 2018 - 10:59 PM

 Ferguson, on 03 January 2018 - 06:45 AM, said:

 Silicon Valley Dale, on 16 December 2017 - 07:44 PM, said:

 dpb5031, on 16 December 2017 - 04:48 PM, said:

Gotta love all the lectures from the self righteous...lol!

It's hardly impossible to continue playing golf while still being a great dad, but it will likely take some compromise, sacrifice, creativity, and initiative. You just have to figure out what will work best given work & family circumstances.

I'm certainly not self righteous. My post was not meant in that sense. It wasn't a reply to the OP that I read as simply wants to find out a way to play a little golf with a new child. That I totally get. If I didn't offer hints on how to do that, it was because that most here had already expressed the same ideas and logics that I agreed with. Be available. Pull your weight. Make sure the Mrs has "me time" too. My "self righteousness" was after reading a post that led me to believe that someone that I admittedly may have read wrong and I certainly hope that I did basically saying they dropped off the little one every week at daycare on their only day off together each week. My kids all hated daycare. Maybe this situation is different. Mine had to suffer through it because my wife and I were trying to earn a living. If I've ever dropped them off just to get some me time-which I may have at some point as a once off deal-I don't remember it.

I can admit that my thinking may not apply to everyone and if I was wrong I apologize. Obviously the opposite opinion is more popular than mine since there are no "+1" type posts to mine as opposed to the other one. It wasn't meant to read as self righteous, it was meant more as a retort to a perceived idea that I didn't agree with. Honor your commitments was my only point. If you can't honor them then don't make them. I get that I'm probably way in the minority on the showing up to work issue as well and would never expect someone to follow that. In all honesty my lifetime personal perfect attendance record is much more a matter of pride for me at this point than my employers, which I'm sure would be ok if I called in sick tomorrow. For whatever reason. I'm sure I could call my supervisor and tell him I was going golfing and he'd be fine with it. He'd probably scratch his head a little wondering why I chose that reason after all these years but it wouldn't be a big deal.

So while I disagree that I was being self rightoes while acknowledging that this reply will be read as such, my point is very valid. If you make commitments you should try to honor them. The original post that I replied to had a couple reasons that I couldn't wrap my head around. I also acknowledge that it's a different world as far as honoring work commitments than when I entered the workforce. Most employers have the same loyalty that most employees do. Family commitments are much more serious and really the only thing that upset me prior. I've had kids golfing with me for a while now-well before they could even play-and I can't understand anything other than having them around whenever you can. If that's self righteous than I guess that I'm self righteous.


We need more paragraphs!

Lol! I'll keep it short for you and just say thanks. Not sure why but I'm feeling generous. (Cue 2nd paragraph)...

I lied. Here's a second one. You can reply with 4 words and I'll respect that.

I'll reply with 4 paragraphs and you can either respect that or skip it. Your choice.

Did I just create a haiku? :)


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#76 Silicon Valley Dale

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Posted 03 January 2018 - 11:11 PM

 sneaky_pete, on 03 January 2018 - 09:00 AM, said:

congratulations on the new arrival.  my son is 5 and I get in a couple of games a week.  the way it works in my house is that I get to play all the golf I can, and my wife is into amateur theatre so she gets to do as much of that as she likes .  it works well as her practice is usually week nights and the occasional weekend.  I work my golf around that, but when my wife has something on the golf takes a back seat - no questions asked.  find out what she likes to do and make time to allow her to do it - compromise!

I also take the earliest tee times I can so that means teeing off at 6.30am and being back home by around 11.30am.  the course I play is only five minutes away so I can easily slip in a couple of beers as well.  this gives plenty of time for family for the rest of the day.

my son has spurts where he is keen to come out and hit golf balls around the practice green as well - he has his own set of clubs.  I take him out there at every opportunity to get in some practice and it gives my wife some 'me' time.

Love it! My now 6 year old is off to school this year. Our normal midweek round together is a thing of the past. He would only putt when we played and even then he'd only set the ball 6" away from the cup. He'd mimic my putting routine and then tap it in. Right before he went to school he finally got 18holes in one. He hasn't wanted to go with his brothers and I ever since then. Prior to that he'd had 17 holes in one and a 2 putt several times. I think he realized he'll never top that, so why bother? I miss like crazy a 8am tee time on Thursday morning with him alone. That was our routine for about 3 years. He was the only witness to several triumphs and the only witness to several epic failures. I can't wait until summer when he can come with me midweek again. His older brothers won't like it but at least once next summer, he's going with me without them to the course again. I'm so thankful that we had that time together. He might not always remember it but I for certain will never forget a single round with him.  (One paragraph Ferguson-should have been at least 2 :) ).

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#77 wfrogge1

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Posted 04 January 2018 - 09:15 PM

Every family is different. My wife and I had a deal, I would play in the mornings and she would get to go out for a few hours with friends after I got back.  Split the rest of the duties when you are both together and things will be fine.

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#78 mlavallee23

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:12 AM

 wfrogge1, on 04 January 2018 - 09:15 PM, said:

Every family is different. My wife and I had a deal, I would play in the mornings and she would get to go out for a few hours with friends after I got back.  Split the rest of the duties when you are both together and things will be fine.

Happy wife happy life.

I think that is the key, to make sure she is doing what she wants as well.  With my two boys at home I try and play more 9 hole rounds when I can.  Just buying time until they are both old enough to come play with me.  Then mom has the whole house to herself, she knows this as well, and is very accommodating to me playing now.

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#79 Man_O_War

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 02:22 PM

i hope you figured this out by now.. you can close the thread
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#80 gatorMD

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Posted 07 January 2018 - 09:13 PM

Congrats!!

Get a live in nanny.  

Treat ur wife well.  

I may or may not have strapped a car seat into a golf cart....

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#81 Kratus977

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Posted 07 January 2018 - 10:40 PM

My son is 21 months now.  My wife and I both love golf.  We used to play at least 18 holes every week.  Since our son came, we play 18 once a month, each play 9 with friends and go to the range at least 1 time a week.  It is a lot easier to hit the range for an hour and we’ve never given each other crap for it.  Plus my son loves golf.  I am just not saying that.  He takes his two clubs with him everywhere.  He will sit with me near the range for a half hour and watch and swing his own club.  He was born on Master’s Sunday.  Just saying...

The biggest thing to realize is that some things are more important than golf.  I love golf just as much as the next member here, but to tell you the truth, I would rather go to the park with my son than squeeze in 9 on any given day.
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#82 kujosit

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Posted 13 January 2018 - 08:28 PM

Being a parent is the thing in the world.. Congratulations.  Buy a mat for the backyard or garage and get your practice in...

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