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Just had the first baby, how do I play golf?


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#31 getitdaily

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 02:48 PM

View PostBomber_, on 11 December 2017 - 01:53 PM, said:

I have two kids at home (3 year old daughter and 1 month old son) and will be the first to tell you, golf gets bumped back but isn't off the table by any means.

It's really quite simple...

When you're home: be present, be helpful. If you see your wife doing something and think, "damn I'm glad that isn't me" (diaper blowout, up all night, puke mess) then you're doing it wrong. The more effort you put in at home, the more flexibility you'll get to do the things you want to do. If you busted your *** all week helping out at home, and need 3 hours to yourself Sunday morning, she's going to be perfectly fine with it.

Also, never underestimate the value of range sessions/short game sessions when the kids are sleeping. My kids sleep in till 7am and go to bed around 7:45pm - so in the summer time this leaves me an hour in the morning and almost 2 hours in the evening to run to the course while my wife takes a hot bath or does her nails. It almost becomes a strategy thing lol.

You and I play the same game. Agree completely with your entire post...mine says a lot of the same things.

3.5 year old at home and another on the way for me. Will be interesting to see if my normal 630am-11am Saturday practice routine will have to change.


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#32 mvhoffman

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 03:07 PM

Congrats!

Now back to golf.  We are currently "trying".  My wife has given me permission to book a trip to Myrtle Beach in Feb, which is booked and paid for.  My friend and normal playing partner and his wife are also trying.  Luckily our wives have been friends since they were 2, so it is something that they want to do at the same time so our kids can grow up together.   Ryan and I have been looking at simulators to split the cost of to set up in both of our houses so that the sim box can be traded back and forth so that we can still "play" whenever we can.

It's not the same as going out and playing a real course, but it is still better than nothing.  A decent simulator at the upfront cost is still a lot cheaper than a country club membership that will go to waste.
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#33 Pepperturbo

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 03:23 PM

Not sure there is a comfortable way to do whats necessary as a father and help the wife and regularly play golf.  Not unless the wife is totally understanding would I attempt golf?  Being a pro-active father and helpful husband is far more important in my book.

Being a new parent is like having a new job early on in your career.  You can always golf later, but you don't get a second chance to be a great father and or husband or establish yourself as an up and coming valuable asset at work.   Think hard. :beach:
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#34 sheppy335

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 03:23 PM

I took 2 weeks off with my first, wife begged me to go golfing and to get out of her hair. Now i only started with 9 holes. After second child it was 2 weeks, it was the following year. 9 holes once a week for next so many years, then it went to 9 each day on the weekend. When my 3rd arrived i didn't miss a week of golf, i planned it but wife was like go, we know what to do. When my 3rd hit 5 i started 18 on sat and 9 on sun. then last year went to 18 each day and 9 on wednesday in a league.

I will say this when i was home i fed, changed and did all i could to make sure she knew i appreciated her not complaining. It also helped me bond with my girls and i enjoy my time with them, now when i get home my girls ask me all about my rounds of golf. My youngest still asks if i got a hole in one, one day i will make her happy.

Congrats to you  and your wife on the lil man, enjoy him, they grow up fast. all us parents know this all to well.
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#35 sheldonjhacker

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 03:26 PM

Get a combination pull-cart/baby stroller ?  Or a baby-seat for the golf cart ? :nyam:


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#36 VNutz

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 03:34 PM

Congrats on becoming a father, it's one of the coolest things that can happen to you. Fortunately for myself, living in the Midwest both of my children came during the winter so the golf dilemma wasn't an issue. I honestly think this is something you have to kind of see how it goes between you and your wife. Not all women take to being a mother the same way, some feel frazzled and overwhelmed, some take to it naturally and seamlessly. If you push it too soon it might backfire big time, and the last thing you want are additional stresses and pressures between the two of you at this time, as the baby will provide plenty of those. Find a balance of family time and personal time, and make sure it works for her more than you. Instead of sneaking out to play or hit the range, spend some time holding your son, nothing more stress relieving than holding a new born and having them fall asleep in your arms. And it sounds cliche, but they grow up fast, before you know it you'll be missing the newborn days, soak it all in while you can. My kids are 6 and almost 3 and I miss those days.

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#37 Skaffa77

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 04:14 PM

View Postmukster, on 09 December 2017 - 11:23 PM, said:

Here ya go

You know...I actually always wondered if they'd ever make an attachment for Clicgear push carts for a baby carrier.  About a month ago, I watched my Clicgear roll downhill into a lake after the break cog failed and realized it wouldn't be a good idea....

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#38 mlavallee23

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 05:31 PM

Congrats man!  I have a 5 year old and 2 year old. I don't expect to get deals anymore, I play when its most convenient.  And I play in a league during the week.

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#39 JerseyBoy

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 06:06 PM

If you plan on being an involved Dad, then Golf will take a back seat for awhile. I have three. 14 year old daughter, 10 year old son and 8 year old daughter. The oldest took to Golf this past season and we spent one day every weekend either playing 9 holes or at the range together. Our ten year old comes to the range once in awhile.

You only get one shot at growing children that will be kind, polite and a useful member of their generation. You can't help with that and do as much as you want without being there. Choose. Your children may very well define you at a certain point in your life. For me, it wasn't even a decision. You only get a short while with your kids at home and an even shorter while with them thinking you are the greatest person in their world. Make the most of it. Golf will wait. Trust me.

Edited by JerseyBoy, 11 December 2017 - 06:07 PM.


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#40 RickKimbrell

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 08:50 PM

Well, here is how I pulled it off.  First...it is not easy.
My son was born in early December so not much golf until Spring.  I was fortunate to live at the club where I played and owned my own golf cart.  I took his car seat and used bungee cords to anchor it to the basket of my cart.  Loaded him up in the car seat and made 9 holes before he got way too restless.  Did this a bunch of times and it gave my wife some time to herself.  When he was 1-1/2, I anchored the car seat in the front seat of the cart and we made 18 pretty much every week.  At 2-1/2, I told my regular Saturday group that I was going to start bringing my son on Saturdays and he would ride in my cart with me.  I said if it poses a problem, I will drop out of the group and play later in the day by myself.  Not a one objected.  Had to clear it with the pro shop (that took some doing but I got it done).  As it turned out, he rode more with the other guys than he did with me.  He had a plastic set of clubs and they let him bang them around some.  He learned golf etiquette rather quickly I might add.  Everyone contributed to that.  He also learned some "golf language".  :)  
I bought him a junior set of clubs and our Saturday mornings continued when his other sports activities did not interfere.  In the afternoons, I would take him out and let him play.  We both would tee off on the same tee.  If he did not get the ball to the 150 yard marker, I would let him pick up and go retee at the 150 and play in from there.  We did this up until he was about 10.  Then he wanted to do other stuff.  But in those years, he did learn how to play golf.  Albeit, not really good but he understood what to do and how to play.  He gave it up for baseball for the next 5 years and then decided to quit the baseball team and make the golf team at his high school.  Told him it would never happen.  Well, he made a liar out of me.  They had to play a 9 hole qualifier and he had the 2nd best qualifying score at 2 over par.  
So, yes, you can still play golf.  You are fortunate he is a boy.  And, golf is a great way to spend a lot of time with your son.  
BTW, my son is a senior in college and does not play real often but when he comes home we go out and play.  He now hits the ball way way past me and is a decent player...not great but decent considering he really only plays maybe once a month during the school year.

Edited by RickKimbrell, 11 December 2017 - 08:56 PM.


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#41 WooPig

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 09:24 PM

Congratulations! My Scarlett Kate was born December 3, 2 years ago. Posted Image
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#42 RickKimbrell

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 09:26 PM

View PostWooPig, on 11 December 2017 - 09:24 PM, said:

Congratulations! My Scarlett Kate was born December 3, 2 years ago. Posted Image

Beautiful young lady!!!

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#43 WooPig

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Posted 11 December 2017 - 10:12 PM

Thank you! I agree 100%. She’s as sweet as honey also. We can’t go into a store with her forcing someone to talk to her, and the older gentleman are wrapped around her finger. Her and her Momma are the prettiest girls I know and you can’t convince me otherwise.  

Op, great looking kid, soak it all in, especially if you plan to only have one, I do what someone else already mentioned and get the first tee of the day, I’m usually home before nap time.
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#44 snoilr1

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Posted 12 December 2017 - 09:29 AM

Congrats on the little one. Being a parent is the most rewarding and maddening thing Iíve ever done. (Sometimes both in the span of an hour).

I had to cut WAY back on golf, and it would have been easy to stop altogether when my son was born, but making it a priority to fit SOME golf in has kept me in it. It was really hard to play much until he was about 3, but now that heís 7, I get a respectable amount in without missing anything.

The things I was able to do when he was a baby:
1. Embrace 9 holes. 6am on Saturday, or 6 pm on Sunday, and you arenít gone long, or when itís time to get weekend chores/activities done.
2. Join a league. 9 holes one night every other week after work is easier for everyone to plan for if itís on the calendar well ahead of time.
3. Donít even think about 18 on a weekend. I was able to take an occasional vacation day and get 18 in during the week.

I played 40-50 rounds a year before kids. The first couple years, I played about 10 full rounds each year( if you add 9s.) I only played 18 maybe 2-3 times a year. I could have gotten more in if I had played more regularly at 6 am on Saturday. Now, I play 18 once a month on a weekend, and I have a regular group of friends who take one vacation day a month to play on a week day, and am able to play 18-20 rounds.

I live in an area where private clubs are insanely expensive, and there are no public 18 hole courses less than 30 min drive. You could probably make the Saturday 6am 18 holes if you could be 4 hours door to door. Unfortunately for me 18 holes of weekend golf is 6-7 hours with travel time added. Thereís a decent 9 hole course 10 minutes from home. Iím gone 2.5 hours max.

Edited by snoilr1, 12 December 2017 - 09:34 AM.

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#45 Tex1986

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Posted 14 December 2017 - 02:10 PM

Congrats! I just had the same conundrum in March with my first.

The first couple months, golf got shelved. With figuring out how to take care of the baby, work, and helping wife recover...you're going to spend any spare moments trying to sleep.

Once you have the baby in a routine and sleeping for extended periods, it becomes more manageable.

My wife and I handoff baby duty so that we can make "me time" happen for both of us. Wife really enjoys going to her exercise class so I try to make that happen for her usually 3-4 times a week. I play hockey 1-2 nights a week(games are after 8pm) and most weekends get 18 in Saturday or Sunday afternoon schedule/weather permitting.

This has worked for us so far and everyone is healthy and happy. Biggest thing is be patient and try to help the new mom out as much as possible the first few months.


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#46 UNCThomas23

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Posted 15 December 2017 - 10:58 PM

Thank you all very much! I'm much less worried about it then I was a week or so ago lol much has calmed down and golf has seemingly been put on the back burner although I do plan to play 9 with my dad over the Christmas break but that's about it in the near future. Thanks again everyone and merry Christmas
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#47 Silicon Valley Dale

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 12:44 AM

View PostGh05t, on 10 December 2017 - 10:27 AM, said:

congrats, and get a day care. my 10 mon old has definitely slowed down golfing for me. OCASSIONALLY, I'll call in to work and go play a round but I try not to make a habit of it. if I get lucky, and the wife is felling like playing, we'll take him to day care for a few hours and go have a nice day together on the course. Actually, we only have one real day off together, so we usually take him there so we can go do what we need to do and have some time to ourselves.

Most replies here have made me happy. Yours made me sad :(

A child is not an inconvenience. If you choose to have one you've got to realize that life has/will change. I'm not trying to call you out but I'm sure that's how this will read. There are priorities and then there are PRIORITIES. Golf is lower case. A child is not. I'll be willing to accept that your post just read wrong to me for some reason and your intent was not meant to show that the child you chose to bring into this world is an inconvenience to you. I've stewed over replying to this for a couple days and it still upsets me so I thought I had to say something. If that isn't your meaning, great and I apologize. If it is meant as read, please don't have anymore. There are very few posts on here that upset me. Yours did and as someone that is not afraid to speak his mind, I hope I'm reading it wrong.

Two things just don't sit well here. I've been working for 26 years now. I have yet to miss a day. I've been at work with kidney stones, throwing up, etc. zero call offs. About five years ago I managed to shear my humorous head bone in half. I still worked until someone got in to replace me and kept things afloat as best I could despite the pain. Once you hit that level of not missing work, you aren't going to call off. 26 years is a long time. I show up and if my employer deems me not fit to be there, they can send me home. I'll concede that I've been lucky with family emergencies and such, but I speak about that with pride. I've been a solid employee and my employer can count on me being there and giving it my best effort every day. I don't call off work to go golfing and I'd have zero fun if I did. If I've agreed to give them that time block of my life I honor that the best I can. Not by not calling off too much to go golfing. As much as I love golfing I'd be all for firing someone on the spot if they committed to being at work and then changed their commitment to go golfing. f you want the day off to go golfing, request it in advance. Pretty simple.

That's all minor. I realize that showing up at work everyday is much more important to me than most and have stronger feelings than most in that area. Oh well. What really hurts my heart is pawning off the child to go golfing. I've stated that I love golfing but I love my kids much more than that. I didn't play much for 10 years, my choice, but the main reason was so I could start my family. And be there for them. I'd have zero fun calling off of work to golf. I'd have even less than zero if I were to call off on my kid so I could go golfing. Sure, as a once off event, it's no biggie. It doesn't sound like that was a once off event. It sounds like it happens weekly, on your only day off together. That makes me sad. I'm not in the advice giving forum. Even so I want to share that I want to have zero regrets. Kids are only kids for a short while. If you can't figure out a way to play some and still honor the commitment to those you've brought into the world, give up golf. It's not that important. Play a couple times a year. I did for many years. I don't regret that at all, not one tiny bit.

Rant off and for those suffering through my mumbling, my apologies. I had strong feelings about this as a father. Not a perfect father, but as a normal one. I had to get this off my chest as this post upset me. I hope I'm reading it wrong. If I'm not, I'll be very blunt. Golf is not important. Life is. Try to win at both. If not possible, win at life.

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#48 phil75070

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 08:06 AM

I am assuming your wife doesn't play. Too bad. Several years ago there was a couple at the club I belonged to where both played golf, had their first child, and would bring the baby along with them in a baby seat they set on the cart between them. Maybe it is time to get your wife interested in golf?

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#49 aceofclubs

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 08:24 AM

Congrats and cool name.

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#50 dpb5031

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 04:48 PM

Gotta love all the lectures from the self righteous...lol!

It's hardly impossible to continue playing golf while still being a great dad, but it will likely take some compromise, sacrifice, creativity, and initiative. You just have to figure out what will work best given work & family circumstances.

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#51 Silicon Valley Dale

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 07:44 PM

View Postdpb5031, on 16 December 2017 - 04:48 PM, said:

Gotta love all the lectures from the self righteous...lol!

It's hardly impossible to continue playing golf while still being a great dad, but it will likely take some compromise, sacrifice, creativity, and initiative. You just have to figure out what will work best given work & family circumstances.

I'm certainly not self righteous. My post was not meant in that sense. It wasn't a reply to the OP that I read as simply wants to find out a way to play a little golf with a new child. That I totally get. If I didn't offer hints on how to do that, it was because that most here had already expressed the same ideas and logics that I agreed with. Be available. Pull your weight. Make sure the Mrs has "me time" too. My "self righteousness" was after reading a post that led me to believe that someone that I admittedly may have read wrong and I certainly hope that I did basically saying they dropped off the little one every week at daycare on their only day off together each week. My kids all hated daycare. Maybe this situation is different. Mine had to suffer through it because my wife and I were trying to earn a living. If I've ever dropped them off just to get some me time-which I may have at some point as a once off deal-I don't remember it.

I can admit that my thinking may not apply to everyone and if I was wrong I apologize. Obviously the opposite opinion is more popular than mine since there are no "+1" type posts to mine as opposed to the other one. It wasn't meant to read as self righteous, it was meant more as a retort to a perceived idea that I didn't agree with. Honor your commitments was my only point. If you can't honor them then don't make them. I get that I'm probably way in the minority on the showing up to work issue as well and would never expect someone to follow that. In all honesty my lifetime personal perfect attendance record is much more a matter of pride for me at this point than my employers, which I'm sure would be ok if I called in sick tomorrow. For whatever reason. I'm sure I could call my supervisor and tell him I was going golfing and he'd be fine with it. He'd probably scratch his head a little wondering why I chose that reason after all these years but it wouldn't be a big deal.

So while I disagree that I was being self rightoes while acknowledging that this reply will be read as such, my point is very valid. If you make commitments you should try to honor them. The original post that I replied to had a couple reasons that I couldn't wrap my head around. I also acknowledge that it's a different world as far as honoring work commitments than when I entered the workforce. Most employers have the same loyalty that most employees do. Family commitments are much more serious and really the only thing that upset me prior. I've had kids golfing with me for a while now-well before they could even play-and I can't understand anything other than having them around whenever you can. If that's self righteous than I guess that I'm self righteous.

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#52 OJHill

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Posted 21 December 2017 - 01:10 AM

You should talk to the guy that started the thread about joining the "country club" and figure out how to do that.

But seriously, I don't think new dads play if they see golf as playing 18 holes for 4.5+ hrs or always playing in a foursome.

Here's my advice, but know that I'm coming from a place of wanting to play to improve at this game.  Don't do any golf for a few weeks.  Help her not go crazy.  Help her at night.  I guess the thing that makes it work for me is being close to the course, getting a full membership so I'm not having to pay every time I play- if I want play 4 holes I can, and I enjoy getting out there alone sometimes.  I didn't really start playing UNTIL I had my first kid (7 years ago, now have 2) and I've gotten down from almost always breaking 100 to a 2 or 3 HC.  The only time I play 18 holes is a tournament.  And I've learned over the years to not play in all the scrambles (we have at least one every weekend in the warm months).  They're fun, but you could play 45 holes in less time or spend a lot of time practicing some aspect you want to practice.  Get a net and a mat in case you can't go for a while.  And get a few golf books.

Take them with you.  Some of our favorite pictures are from strapping the car seat down to the Club Car when they are little.  Then they can sit in the basket behind the seat (take extra towels for padding).  Then, hopefully, they'll want to start playing.

Keep it fun.

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#53 markjay1

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Posted 21 December 2017 - 07:29 AM

You have to carve out recreation time for you and your wife more than ever right now.  Happy parents, happy kids.  Negotiate the schedule with your wife and hit the links and be available when she wants free time.  When you can, and if it won't bother anyone else, start to take your son with you.  And if his first words are:  "I don't think an 8 iron is enough here, not with that wind"  then you know you've done your job well.

Edited by markjay1, 21 December 2017 - 07:32 AM.


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#54 Boricua Golf

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Posted 21 December 2017 - 07:48 AM

First congratulations!!!!, having a baby is the most amazing feeling in the world, that said, like you, I love golf, honestly golf took a back seat to my newborn, focus on helping the wife with the baby and golf will be able to be fitted in your busy day...what worked for me was that I told my wife to have a day or two during the week (maybe an afternoon or two) to herself, I would stay with the baby and have fun, then she would allow me (not complain) when I went to play golf, I tried to play as early in the morning as possible so I was home no later than noon or 1pm...just help her as much as possible, trust me it will pay off!!!!, again congratulations!!!!!
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#55 mlavallee23

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Posted 21 December 2017 - 09:08 AM

Can't wait for my boys to be old enough to take them with me. Looking forward to that.  For the mean time just ensure the wife is getting some free time as well.  Plus having "boys" days with my kids is a boat load of fun.


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#56 Psyber

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Posted 22 December 2017 - 02:08 PM

Depends on your situation. Seems most of the guys I know who are most successful at it are the ones where their jobs is the money and their wife's job is the house and kids.
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#57 Dvokally313

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Posted 24 December 2017 - 07:32 PM

Yep I'm in this same dilemma but I've managed quite well. I have pictures of my son in his stroller at 3 months old chilling beside the green while I'm putting u get the kid out there that's what u do.  And I also got me a skytrak to make up for the times I can't leave me and my boys fool around in the barn and I get my swings in that way.  Being a dad is the best thing that will happen to you in your life. Enjoy it and you will be fine.

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#58 wildcatden

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Posted 24 December 2017 - 08:18 PM

Congrats!!  Wait until your kid turns 6 and you are over in the Junior Golf section of these forums. I find little time to play but do tons and tons of caddie for my kid.

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#59 Yuck

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Posted 26 December 2017 - 07:48 PM

I agree with many of the others regarding limiting play in favor of being a dad.  Early am 9 holes and get home and engage with kids.  Mine are long grown adults and out of the house and I do not find my self once wishing I had played more golf when they were young.  I have sometimes thought I should have played less.

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#60 PingGuy68

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Posted 26 December 2017 - 07:57 PM

Congrats!  First off, haven't read each post so this may have been said.  We have a 17 mo. old, also our first.  Maybe I fail at WRX-ing, but I like to be at home spending time with her.  She has mad me happier in life than any round of golf.  Still, my wife gets the idea that I need to let off tension and smack a ball around.  I get out for a quick 18 now and then, but I hit the driving range and putting area a ton more than I did before.  It's cheap, and it takes a lot less time.  What I do fit in very easily is a quick 9 and breakfast.  I'm usually home before wife and baby wake up.  Everybody wins.  Good luck to ya buddy!

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