91 replies to this topic

[UNCThomas23]

What's up guys? My wife and I just welcomed our first child into this world 6 days ago, and so far I'm loving every bit of it. I've been sick to my stomach with nerves ever since, and something that kind of worries me is this- ever since my young days I have had no restrictions with playing golf and could play anytime I wasn't working. I feel like golf is how I let go of stress, all of my stress, because I'm not really one to talk about much. So how do I go about getting time on the course with a newborn without the wife feeling like she's getting snubbed? How did you guys do it? Here's a pictures for you guys, his names Easton!

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[sluggerx5]

Wait a couple weeks. Work your tail off doing everything you can to help. Then find a way to get the thumbs up for nine. Your wife will understand. She knows it’s a good relief just don’t over do it. Let her get out to get her nails done or lunch with a friend. Before you know it you’ll be getting out for a round a week and a few evenings at the range. I had a baby in July. The game slipped a little but not too much. Enjoy your first child and congrats!

[Petunia Sprinkle]

Congratulations on the baby and 18yrs. to practice putting for your next round.

[cardoustie]

Little cutie !  My girls are 18 and 19 .... still worry

[Silicon Valley Dale]

First and far most important. Congrats! That's a good looking dude!
Probably takes after his mom, lol.

Don't fret the golf thing. I didn't play much when my kids were really young but that was mainly my choice. You'll probably never play as much as you did prior to baby-I used to play 5 days a week and would most of the time play 36-54 holes-but it'll make you look forward to playing much more. I had other hobbies when they were younger and now most of my rounds are played with at least 2 of them playing with. If you thought golf was awesome before, wait until you take your kid/kids golfing. I had my youngest with me as my only witness to my first and to date only hole in one. He was very young at the time and would hardly be a credible witness. To most. To me I am supremely thankful that he was the only witness. He doesn't remember much from back then, but every time we play that course he tells the world "this is where daddy got a hole in one!" when we get to that tee box.

Mine are all waist high at a minimum these days. My oldest is as tall as me. Cherish every second with him. Every time every day. Even if you don't golf too much for the next few years, if golf is important to you you'll make it back to the game. I rarely played for about 10 years while mine were all really young. My first round back was a round that I'll never forget. On a whim I decided to grab the little one and play a round. I'd hit the range a few times in the previous couple weeks and I guess it got the juices flowing. That round included the HIO and largely due to that I ended up under par. What? I've been chasing the thought that "someone that plays his first round in a long time and goes under par should be decent" ever since. Most are not. The few that are I hope I have one of my kids with me.

Buckle up sir, you are in for a wild ride. There won't be much sleep but if you tell me it wasn't worth it in 20 years I'll call you a liar.

[Justsomeguy]

Congrats man. Just had our first in July. It's a daily mind blower.
So it's not just the wife, you of course want to make sure you're not missing precious moments or time w the baby, for yourself too.
Here's what I've noticed helps: don't play courses too far from home, don't be gone all day (lotsa range before and 19th hole), and don't do it after work, bc the wife needs the day broken up, and the consecutive hours away add up. So if I can pop off for 9 on a weekday, I stop home first and give her a break.
When I play on weekends I take the earliest tee times while they're still sleeping. Boom, 2 hours saved.

[mukster]

Here ya go

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[CrushSticks]

My first is 17 months and the second is coming in May. I won’t lie, if your wife works and you are going to contribute, it’s tough to hit the links. I work M-F and my wife works the weekends. I used to play about 50 times a year, but I think I played about 15 times this season. I know I’ll get some rounds back eventually, but it does make the ones you get a little sweeter.

Good luck and congrats.

[theboypinoy]

Congratulations on being a new parent!

[Saskwatch]

Congratulations!!

Ive been through this very same delima (plus I Iive in Canada so we get 2 months a year to play lol).  I decided on getting a Skytrak, Mat and net for the garage.  One of my best golf decisions I’ve ever made.  I played less than 10 rounds this year but I bet I hit 4,500 balls in my garage since February.   I played 7 of my rounds at par or better and the other ones were complete blowouts!! Haha.  

This was the best compromise, especially since I can Golf year round now

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[Cornwall1888]

How will you play golf? Badly and sleep deprived haha.

Most of my friends games go downhill in the first few years before they get playing as regularly again

[XYB34A]

my sons are 25 and 27. as soon as they started sitting up good, then i would take them with me for 9 holes.  I have changed diapers right there on the course, and always took plenty of their snacks and juice and water.  i used to use bungee cords to strap the smaller one car seat in the cart seat.  my buddies got used to having them cry all the sudden, and if they hit a really bad shot.  we gave them a free do over.   my sons both play golf.   the oldest one just had his first daughter Dec the 4th.  He tells me, he plans on doing the same thing I did with them.
I bought childrens components from Golfworks in Ohio. when they were about 4 or 5.  Even though they wanted to hit rocks with them too, it was ok.
they live 2 hours and 6 hours away now.  but we still try to get away as often as possible.
you might have to wait a year or two.  but taking a child with you, can be quite fun.   just go at a time that it wont bother the other golfers to much.  and both of my sons have told me that when they go back to their home town, that people in Walmart or the mall come up to them and recognize them.  They are told they were so polite and a pleasure to be around.
People used to give them golf balls they found, boy I will tell you they would lose a lot.

You have it all to look forward to. Be proud, keep your head the normal size.  Forget them being the next Ricky Fowler, or some other pro.  Its a family thing.  I have fond memories.  Enjoy yours yet to come.

[SPY ZINGER]

Find a replacement for yourself.  That is, another trusted adult such as a parent to come over.  This is just at first.  Another mother for example.  If you take the effort to find a replacement, it’ll go a long way.

Edited by SPY ZINGER, 10 December 2017 - 08:57 AM.

[dpb5031]

Congrats on the birth of your first child!  

My daughter's are 21 and 18, so I've been through it.  I played regularly even when they were babies, but it takes some compromise and also being assertive with your spouse about how important golf is to you. You've got to give something to get something.

When my kids were small I'd wake up early with them on the weekends, get them bathed and dressed for the day, then either cook them breakfast, or when they got a bit older, take them out to breakfast.  My wife enjoyed sleeping in on the weekends so she appreciated this.  By around 9:30, she'd be up and ready to take over while I'd head out for my 10 a.m. game.  We'd typically meet back up at our club's pool at around 3 pm where we'd spend the remainder of the day together with the kids.  

In all honesty it's not that difficult when they're really young.  Once they get older and are involved in a myriad of sports and other activities it will be more challenging because you won't want to miss their games, etc.  By that time though I had a work schedule that afforded me the opportunity to flex my time so I could get out of work early one day per week to play a 1 pm game and still be home for dinner.

Another thing I'd recommend if it's doable for your budget is joining a family-friendly country club that is close in proximity to your house. My kids grew up at our club and my younger one is currently on a D1 full ride for golf.

We've traveled extensively together for junior golf over the years and have played together at places like Forest Highlands, Dye Preseve, Medalist, Bears Club, Grand Cypress, PGA National, Pinehurst, Merion, Punta Espada in the Dominican Republic, Bandon Dunes and many many other phenomenal golf courses and destinations!  She actually just returned from an overseas trip to Scotland with her team where they played St. Andrews, Carnoustie, and some other historic greats.  Sadly the team had more chaperones than they needed so I didn't get to go! 😵  

[wkuo3]

What a good looking baby.  You had been promoted to the rank of fatherhood, congratulation !

Personally, I feel this, if you're not depending on the game of golf to make your livelihood, I would try to get used to having the time spend with your family as the new escape from the daily grind.  Enjoy the time with the young one, they'll leave the nest in about 18 years.  Hug them and enjoy being hugged, there will be a time soon that they feel they're grown up and don't want to be hugged.

Yes, I did play some golf while the kids were growing up in my life, but not anywhere close to the freedom of just picking up the golf bag and jump on the golf course deal before the arrival of the new family members.  Especially when the kids were younger than 3-4, I felt it was my duty to share the responsibility of taking care of and raising the kids with the woman whom had given their birth.   Sneaking out early during the weekend morning was the time I had while the kids were young.  I would be back in the house by 10 A.M to join the fun day with them all.  That will be the best choice of time to golf with young children in the house.   Once in awhile, I would arrange for a round of golf here and there while they have activity with other children.

You can still golf and be a good father, just need to adjust your schedule a little bit so you won't miss their time of growing up, and believe me, even there will be spots when you'll be tested for patience;  the time will go by really fast.   Enjoy one of the best slice of time in life.

Edited by wkuo3, 17 December 2017 - 08:28 PM.

[Gh05t]

congrats, and get a day care. my 10 mon old has definitely slowed down golfing for me. OCASSIONALLY, I'll call in to work and go play a round but I try not to make a habit of it. if I get lucky, and the wife is felling like playing, we'll take him to day care for a few hours and go have a nice day together on the course. Actually, we only have one real day off together, so we usually take him there so we can go do what we need to do and have some time to ourselves.

[ChipDriver]

Congrats on the kid.   Golf becomes secondary in your thought process - you ought to have understood that before making a baby.  LOL

Easy fix - adjust your schedule as needed.  Don't be gone too often when mommy & baby need you most. Does that mean that  your golf schedule might be different than in the past?  Of course.  But it's worth it and it's temporary.  If you can't see the worth or are unwilling to try - you're gonna have a rough life.   LOL   Golf in it's present state will always be there when time allows....but your kid/family relationship might not be.   Which is more important?   Pretty simple.

Edited by ChipDriver, 10 December 2017 - 10:37 AM.

[mjforn]

Congratulations  Welcome to fatherhood.

It's not all about you anymore, take the time and enjoy the ride. Golf time will come, but Mom also needs her time for what ever. My most memorable days are when it was just the girls (17-18 now) and me, stroller and all. As others have said time with your kids is not time wasted.

Edited by mjforn, 10 December 2017 - 05:26 PM.

[PixlPutterman]

You'll find plenty of time to play, just make sure you get some clubs in her hands soon lol. My son is my favorite person to play with and he is only 5

[DON SVO]

It depends on your family situation, really. Our child is a few days from turning 1. My wife is a hair stylist with her own salon, she works all day Saturday (I take care of our daughter solo on Saturdays, up at 5am until typically 6pm), and Sunday is our only day for “family time”. In my case that equates to 12 rounds played this calendar year.

If you plan to be involved with your kids your golf will more than likely suffer. A lot. I refuse to be a half a** parent, I enjoy my time with my daughter, and I won’t dump her off on family or friends to selfishly bail out for “golf with the guys” like some people I know do constantly. It’s going to be a balance (that in terms of your hobbies/interests can seem very lopsided and unfair LOL) you will have to manage starting off, but I’ll be damned if I grow old wondering what all I missed out on. Congrats on the new critter and enjoy the ride!

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[howellhandmade]

I have three. The youngest is now 14. Wife and I both work. I didn't play much for 15 years, sold my clubs at one point, just started back four years ago. Part of it was time, part of it was money. Kids are expensive. Which is not how it works for everyone, obviously, but there are all kinds of things that seem super important before kids and not so important afterwards. It's not necessarily a matter of deprivation; with my middle daughter and softball I spent hours sitting on a bucket catching her pitching, hitting her grounders and fly balls, many weekends every summer taking her to tournaments, and didn't think once of the golf I was missing. In fact, I'd still rather have the time with her than golf, but now (going off to college next year) she practices with her team catchers and when I do catch her it's kinda scary. I think all the time spent together contributed to a close relationship and a very happy, motivated kid. All of which is to say, you may just have to see how it goes. It was my dream that the kids would play golf so we could have a family foursome, but they just didn't catch the bug and got into other things instead. Like my dad used to say, life's full of choices.

[Mr. Hogan]

I'd say we need more information to give the best advice.

Does your wife work? Full time? Part time? Stay at home mom?
Do you work full time? M-F? Weekends?
Do you have parents nearby who can watch your child?
How much golf were you playing before and what would be an acceptable amount now?

Without knowing the answer to these questions I'll make some assumptions and give advice anyway. Because, hey - this is golfwrx.

If your desire is to get out and play at least one time a week I'd say that's totally doable. It is best if your wife has a hobby or something she likes to do with her time. You just trade off. For example, Saturday morning you play golf while she watches the child, Saturday afternoon she does her activity while you watch the child. Saturday evening you all get together.

The real trouble starts when you have multiple kids and they are very active with sports or other activities. But as long as you can play man-on-man defense with the child you should be fine.

[uitar9]

Does the wife golf?

See if you can find a couple in the same situation. Get out yourself with him, get your wife out with her. Couple of guys babysitting gets big brownie points.

[getitdaily]

If golf is your hobby then it has to be your only hobby. Cut back on tv, Facebook, phone, etc.

But, much more importantly, do more around the house than you were doing before the baby. Be the one to clean toilets, showers, sweep floors, do laundry, clean the kitchen and wash baby bottles. Just do more around the house and she won't be mad that you spent a few hours on your hobby but left her with everything to do around the house. Not saying to do everything, but step up and don't give her a reason to hate you leaving the house for a few hours.

Second - do little things for her. Doesn't have to be extravagant, cook breakfast on an occasional weekend. Whatever she likes to do, be a part of it. Give her time for her hobby too.

3rd - be reasonable. If you were spending 20 hours a week on golf then you're probably going to have to cut back. You habe a kid now and he should be a bigger priority than golf. The good thing is that he'll sleep a lot so you'll be able to get out for some practice when he naps. Your practice/play ratio may have to change and you'll play 9 more often.

The best thing though, you will get to involve your son in the game. Get him a plastic set when he turns 1 and let him whack away in the house. As he gets older you'll be able to take him out to play with you. And if you're supporting your wife's hobby then she'll be more inclined to come out with you and the boy every now and then to keep an eye on him while you play.

Edited by getitdaily, 11 December 2017 - 08:31 AM.

[Sean2]

First, congratulations on the birth of your child!

Yes, you might not be able to play as much as you have in the past, but it's not like you have to be with your child 24/7. You will find that your wife will also need some "alone time", so she will understand that you will as well.

[Man_O_War]

golf will always be there.. but you really don't want to miss anything with your little guy so always lean towards not playing.

we did drive my 6 week old to Hilton Head from Maryland..he is 14 now and has no memory of the drive. if he did, he would have remembered we drove back in the mother of all storms in the winter of 2004. took 16 hours to get to Maryland. oh i played harbour Town and met Ron Howard's son. Played 18 holes with this very well grounded 14-15 year old. It was fun.

[ChipNRun]

Suggestion: Try to hit a bucket of balls per week and putt a little bit during warm weather.

Then, make yourself available for a benefit scramble each month. Less pressure when others can help out on the score.

About age 10, the kid can caddie for you, and you can get quality time on the links!

[Bomber_11]

I have two kids at home (3 year old daughter and 1 month old son) and will be the first to tell you, golf gets bumped back but isn't off the table by any means.

It's really quite simple...

When you're home: be present, be helpful. If you see your wife doing something and think, "damn I'm glad that isn't me" (diaper blowout, up all night, puke mess) then you're doing it wrong. The more effort you put in at home, the more flexibility you'll get to do the things you want to do. If you busted your *** all week helping out at home, and need 3 hours to yourself Sunday morning, she's going to be perfectly fine with it.

Also, never underestimate the value of range sessions/short game sessions when the kids are sleeping. My kids sleep in till 7am and go to bed around 7:45pm - so in the summer time this leaves me an hour in the morning and almost 2 hours in the evening to run to the course while my wife takes a hot bath or does her nails. It almost becomes a strategy thing lol.

[NJpatbee]

Congratulations on becoming a father!

You will likely play less golf than you were accustomed to but you have a much more important task at hand now.  As others have said your wife will need a break with the child as an infant and toddler, and after that your presence will be required for a whole host of events that may take many of your evenings and weekends.  I believe you will enjoy them and gain great satisfaction watching your child(ren) mature and grow.  Don't sweat the golf - you will find a way to get out enough and despite the rumors the game is not going anywhere.

[Ferguson]

Plan on being a dad for awhile.   It's a great feeling.  
You'll find time for golf.  


Congrats.

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