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What to tell a wife that hates golf


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#31 BeerPerHole

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 04:36 PM

View Postchocolate_rehab, on 03 November 2017 - 03:42 PM, said:

View Postgolfandfishing, on 03 November 2017 - 01:40 PM, said:

Hate to say this but, I doubt she hates golf. She hates you enjoying yourself.

Really, really dumb post - bravo.

Speaking as a woman who loves golf, plays 2x a week, and has managed successful relationships: women don't hate something just because you enjoy it. And if you think that's the case, I feel sorry for your prospects at a happy relationship.


Oh...I'm not so sure about that. My ex was one of those. She's stayed single ever since so it didn't really "help her prospects" being so onery.

It's cool that you love golf. So does my wife. It's very nice. And, you might have the best avatar here. Sincerely, Cornholio...

Edited by BeerPerHole, 04 November 2017 - 04:37 PM.


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#32 MtlJeff

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 05:11 PM

it's nice to marry someone who has their own hobbies. Most guys i know where there wives hate them playing golf it's because they don't do anything except sit around waiting for them to come home.

One of my good friend's wives is a runner who does 10K's and half-marathons, my wife does horseback riding (she leases, that's an expensive sport to own LOL)....so they get it

Honestly i'd try to encourage HER to find a hobby
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#33 kgeorge78

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 05:18 PM

View Postballer4opca, on 02 November 2017 - 12:50 PM, said:

I have had to use every excuse in the book to get a round in. For years now she has hated any chance for me to play golf. She says it takes time from the family, waste of money, etc. Even when neither reason is accurate, she makes it a pain for me to go out and tries to guilt me. Anyone else get this and what do you say or do? Divorce is not an option. Lol.

divorce 100%

no joke.  The day my wife tells me I can't golf is the day she is no longer my Wife.
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#34 T-Payne Stewart

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 05:27 PM

my wife is chechen and they are raised to let their husband do their thing so she doesn't go too hard on me. but she was pretty mad when I dropped a few hundred on a titleist scotty cameron putter because she said it was "ugly"

she also didn't like when i dropped 1500 on a honma but i told her that was less than her green card cost, so
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#35 new2g0lf

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 05:33 PM

Could be 100% wrong but I don't think golf is the issue, his wife would likely be upset if he spent 4-5 hours doing anything he enjoyed.  I've been in and witnessed relationships where one person is a relationship resents the other person has a hobby or source of enjoyment that doesn't include them.  It could be insecurity, jealousy or simply a case of misery loves company but whatever the reason, golf is not the core of the problem imo.

Edited by new2g0lf, 04 November 2017 - 05:34 PM.


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#36 kgeorge78

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 05:35 PM

View PostT-Payne Stewart, on 04 November 2017 - 05:27 PM, said:

my wife is chechen and they are raised to let their husband do their thing so she doesn't go too hard on me. but she was pretty mad when I dropped a few hundred on a titleist scotty cameron putter because she said it was "ugly"

she also didn't like when i dropped 1500 on a honma but i told her that was less than her green card cost, so


hahaha
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#37 ohioglfr

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 10:43 PM

Tell her you need a way to relax and unwind.  Since she hates golf,  mention you've been looking at alternatives, like a $35k bass boat rig, or a $18k motorcycle.  After she freaks over that, maybe your golf clubs and greens fee won't seem so bad after all.  

It sound like jealousy to me.  Golf . . . the "Other Woman". . .

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#38 Tmiller72

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Posted 05 November 2017 - 07:47 AM

Why marry someone that despises the thing that brings you pleasure?

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#39 Chief Illiniwek

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Posted 05 November 2017 - 09:23 AM

View PostCajunmike, on 03 November 2017 - 09:15 AM, said:

First off, don't listen to anyone that tells u to man up and lay down the law. I can guarantee this is not a winning strategy. 20 years of Marriage and I can state factually I've played about that many full rounds in that time. It's been really rough on me a student of the game. I understand the time commitment and the money but to not be able to play is tough, and don't use the excuse that "don't go to bars, etc" because I'm sure she doesn't do those things either.  Like others have said u gonna have to make some major concessions if you want to live with this long term. If you can manage to trade a couple rounds a month for something she likes to do then that's a fair trade off.  Practice, practice. I get most of my golf enjoyment now from going to the range and hitting balls in the yard usually early am on the weekends.  Play early in the am to be done by mid day on the weekends.  ***do not*** convince her to play golf unless she expresses an interest in it.  Get the kids involved if you have some girls, boys doesn't matter there is great enjoyment in teaching them how to play and will by default get you some course time.  Set a golf budget and you will have to equally comp her the same for shoes or something. Your wife sounds a lot like mine. It's not so much the game of golf it's a lot more about equality. If u are out playing golf and she's at home cooking dinner and taking care of the kids, that's not equality, that's a servant.

You've played 20 times in 20 years and you're giving advice? You need to be asking for advice haha!

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#40 Double Mocha Man

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Posted 05 November 2017 - 01:16 PM

This is simple.  Come home from the golf course and make passionate love to your wife.  You'll be playing a lot more golf than you thought.

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#41 prsgtrman

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Posted 06 November 2017 - 07:35 AM

View PostDouble Mocha Man, on 05 November 2017 - 01:16 PM, said:

This is simple.  Come home from the golf course and make passionate love to your wife.  You'll be playing a lot more golf than you thought.

uhhh, yeah.. convincing a woman to be intimate with you after you go and do something she hates, dunno what world you live in but it certainly doesnt happen that way at my house.

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#42 hammy83

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Posted 06 November 2017 - 08:07 AM

I doubt your wife hates you golfing.  What she hates is your having fun without her.  My ex-wife did the same.  Eventually she got so pissed off she became someone else's problem. My current wife has no hobbies, and gets bitter every time I golf but... she gets it.   She knows that no golf makes hammy a miserable person.  I told her spend whatever you want, do whatever you want but me not golfing, is not an option.  You knew this when you met me.
My advice to you is to stop lying about what you are doing.  I did that with the first wife, and it just go worse.  Be honest and if it fails... it clearly wasn't meant to be. Can you imagine living the rest of your life with a hassle every time you want to golf?  F that.

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#43 BeerPerHole

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Posted 06 November 2017 - 09:12 AM

View Posthammy83, on 06 November 2017 - 08:07 AM, said:

I doubt your wife hates you golfing.  What she hates is your having fun without her.  My ex-wife did the same.  Eventually she got so pissed off she became someone else's problem. My current wife has no hobbies, and gets bitter every time I golf but... she gets it.   She knows that no golf makes hammy a miserable person.  I told her spend whatever you want, do whatever you want but me not golfing, is not an option.  You knew this when you met me.
My advice to you is to stop lying about what you are doing.  I did that with the first wife, and it just go worse.  Be honest and if it fails... it clearly wasn't meant to be. Can you imagine living the rest of your life with a hassle every time you want to golf?  F that.
Very well said, Hammy. Being in a situation like this, speaking from experience, leads a man to the inconvenient truth.

Somebody above also mentioned that their wife was foreign (Chechen). I don't want to upset anybody but my advice to myself 30 years ago would have been to not court American women. There are some real gems from here, certainly. However, in my many years on this globe I've come to realize that there are more gems from other lands. My wife is French. One of my buddies is married to a Ukrainian goddess. One of my best friends from my youth met a girl from Sweden, went there and said, "Come visit. You'll never go back". And, he's still there, finally settling down with a girl who's a sexier version of Tiger's ex (yes, it's possible).  None of these guys get hounded unless it really matters. My accountant is originally from Eritrea and his wife and her sisters are amazing. These guys are happy. They are happy couples. Marriage is very serious business...

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#44 thug the bunny

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Posted 06 November 2017 - 10:43 PM

View Postbscinstnct, on 02 November 2017 - 10:43 PM, said:

The problem is not golf my friend ; )

"A fool pulls the leaves. A brute chops the trunk. A sage digs the roots."

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OK.........still thinking.......still don't get it...maybe kind of....wait, what? I, umm, never mind.

bcs, you often elude my simple mind! (not a great accomplishment...)
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#45 chocolate_rehab

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 12:49 AM

View PostBeerPerHole, on 06 November 2017 - 09:12 AM, said:

View Posthammy83, on 06 November 2017 - 08:07 AM, said:

I doubt your wife hates you golfing.  What she hates is your having fun without her.  My ex-wife did the same.  Eventually she got so pissed off she became someone else's problem. My current wife has no hobbies, and gets bitter every time I golf but... she gets it.   She knows that no golf makes hammy a miserable person.  I told her spend whatever you want, do whatever you want but me not golfing, is not an option.  You knew this when you met me.
My advice to you is to stop lying about what you are doing.  I did that with the first wife, and it just go worse.  Be honest and if it fails... it clearly wasn't meant to be. Can you imagine living the rest of your life with a hassle every time you want to golf?  F that.
Very well said, Hammy. Being in a situation like this, speaking from experience, leads a man to the inconvenient truth.

Somebody above also mentioned that their wife was foreign (Chechen). I don't want to upset anybody but my advice to myself 30 years ago would have been to not court American women. There are some real gems from here, certainly. However, in my many years on this globe I've come to realize that there are more gems from other lands. My wife is French. One of my buddies is married to a Ukrainian goddess. One of my best friends from my youth met a girl from Sweden, went there and said, "Come visit. You'll never go back". And, he's still there, finally settling down with a girl who's a sexier version of Tiger's ex (yes, it's possible).  None of these guys get hounded unless it really matters. My accountant is originally from Eritrea and his wife and her sisters are amazing. These guys are happy. They are happy couples. Marriage is very serious business...

You know what's even better than a wife from Chechen or France? A wife from Saudi Arabia. They can't even drive, so they won't be expecting to use the car or do anything outside of the home (although this is changing, so maybe find a bride quick). They'll never bother you when you're golfing because they're not allowed to even speak to you unless spoken to! You'll never be hounded about anything - helping in the home, taking care of your children, spending time with her, etc. It's literally a dream. You want a happy, stress-free marriage with no talking back or nagging to contribute? Saudi Arabia, boys.

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#46 No Catchy Nickname

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 03:12 AM

View Postchocolate_rehab, on 07 November 2017 - 12:49 AM, said:

View PostBeerPerHole, on 06 November 2017 - 09:12 AM, said:

View Posthammy83, on 06 November 2017 - 08:07 AM, said:

I doubt your wife hates you golfing.  What she hates is your having fun without her.  My ex-wife did the same.  Eventually she got so pissed off she became someone else's problem. My current wife has no hobbies, and gets bitter every time I golf but... she gets it.   She knows that no golf makes hammy a miserable person.  I told her spend whatever you want, do whatever you want but me not golfing, is not an option.  You knew this when you met me.
My advice to you is to stop lying about what you are doing.  I did that with the first wife, and it just go worse.  Be honest and if it fails... it clearly wasn't meant to be. Can you imagine living the rest of your life with a hassle every time you want to golf?  F that.
Very well said, Hammy. Being in a situation like this, speaking from experience, leads a man to the inconvenient truth.

Somebody above also mentioned that their wife was foreign (Chechen). I don't want to upset anybody but my advice to myself 30 years ago would have been to not court American women. There are some real gems from here, certainly. However, in my many years on this globe I've come to realize that there are more gems from other lands. My wife is French. One of my buddies is married to a Ukrainian goddess. One of my best friends from my youth met a girl from Sweden, went there and said, "Come visit. You'll never go back". And, he's still there, finally settling down with a girl who's a sexier version of Tiger's ex (yes, it's possible).  None of these guys get hounded unless it really matters. My accountant is originally from Eritrea and his wife and her sisters are amazing. These guys are happy. They are happy couples. Marriage is very serious business...

You know what's even better than a wife from Chechen or France? A wife from Saudi Arabia. They can't even drive, so they won't be expecting to use the car or do anything outside of the home (although this is changing, so maybe find a bride quick). They'll never bother you when you're golfing because they're not allowed to even speak to you unless spoken to! You'll never be hounded about anything - helping in the home, taking care of your children, spending time with her, etc. It's literally a dream. You want a happy, stress-free marriage with no talking back or nagging to contribute? Saudi Arabia, boys.

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#47 BeerPerHole

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 10:58 AM

View Postchocolate_rehab, on 07 November 2017 - 12:49 AM, said:

View PostBeerPerHole, on 06 November 2017 - 09:12 AM, said:

View Posthammy83, on 06 November 2017 - 08:07 AM, said:

I doubt your wife hates you golfing.  What she hates is your having fun without her.  My ex-wife did the same.  Eventually she got so pissed off she became someone else's problem. My current wife has no hobbies, and gets bitter every time I golf but... she gets it.   She knows that no golf makes hammy a miserable person.  I told her spend whatever you want, do whatever you want but me not golfing, is not an option.  You knew this when you met me.
My advice to you is to stop lying about what you are doing.  I did that with the first wife, and it just go worse.  Be honest and if it fails... it clearly wasn't meant to be. Can you imagine living the rest of your life with a hassle every time you want to golf?  F that.
Very well said, Hammy. Being in a situation like this, speaking from experience, leads a man to the inconvenient truth.

Somebody above also mentioned that their wife was foreign (Chechen). I don't want to upset anybody but my advice to myself 30 years ago would have been to not court American women. There are some real gems from here, certainly. However, in my many years on this globe I've come to realize that there are more gems from other lands. My wife is French. One of my buddies is married to a Ukrainian goddess. One of my best friends from my youth met a girl from Sweden, went there and said, "Come visit. You'll never go back". And, he's still there, finally settling down with a girl who's a sexier version of Tiger's ex (yes, it's possible).  None of these guys get hounded unless it really matters. My accountant is originally from Eritrea and his wife and her sisters are amazing. These guys are happy. They are happy couples. Marriage is very serious business...

You know what's even better than a wife from Chechen or France? A wife from Saudi Arabia. They can't even drive, so they won't be expecting to use the car or do anything outside of the home (although this is changing, so maybe find a bride quick). They'll never bother you when you're golfing because they're not allowed to even speak to you unless spoken to! You'll never be hounded about anything - helping in the home, taking care of your children, spending time with her, etc. It's literally a dream. You want a happy, stress-free marriage with no talking back or nagging to contribute? Saudi Arabia, boys.
What's the fun in that? I once dated a very opinionated Italian beauty who a Saudi sheik tried to buy for 12 camels (true story).  

People should be lifted up, not beat down. That treatment of women you mention is intolerable, and not funny at all. These women I mentioned are all strong women. A woman can be strong, beautiful, and kind-hearted. The men who marry them all seem happy to me. These couples all stay married, too. I didn't mean to agitate you and I hope you are happy, as well.

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#48 JerseyBoy

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 11:03 AM

View PostBeerPerHole, on 07 November 2017 - 10:58 AM, said:

People should be lifted up, not beat down. That treatment of women you mention is intolerable, and not funny at all.

Agree 100%. There is nothing funny about how women are treated in some of those Arab Countries. If that's what people aspire to in a wife, I feel very sorry for that wife.

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#49 chocolate_rehab

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 01:28 PM

View PostBeerPerHole, on 07 November 2017 - 10:58 AM, said:

What's the fun in that? I once dated a very opinionated Italian beauty who a Saudi sheik tried to buy for 12 camels (true story).  

People should be lifted up, not beat down. That treatment of women you mention is intolerable, and not funny at all. These women I mentioned are all strong women. A woman can be strong, beautiful, and kind-hearted. The men who marry them all seem happy to me. These couples all stay married, too. I didn't mean to agitate you and I hope you are happy, as well.

View PostJerseyBoy, on 07 November 2017 - 11:03 AM, said:

Agree 100%. There is nothing funny about how women are treated in some of those Arab Countries. If that's what people aspire to in a wife, I feel very sorry for that wife.

It was satire, guys. I'm a woman and I find the "women from culturally sexist countries make better wives than American women" offensive. Just to make that crystal clear.

Edited by chocolate_rehab, 07 November 2017 - 01:38 PM.

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#50 Cajunmike

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 01:52 PM

View PostChief Illiniwek, on 05 November 2017 - 09:23 AM, said:

You've played 20 times in 20 years and you're giving advice? You need to be asking for advice haha!

Well he did say that Divorce was not an option. That would have been door #1. Just trying to show him what's in store with door #2. Same type of wife and I've done most of the wrong things..maybe he'll have better luck with my suggestions.


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#51 bscinstnct

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 02:42 PM

Ok, I got it.

Next time she gets home, be wearing her clothes. Then, playing golf will seem like nothing!

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#52 BeerPerHole

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 02:43 PM

View Postchocolate_rehab, on 07 November 2017 - 01:28 PM, said:

View PostBeerPerHole, on 07 November 2017 - 10:58 AM, said:

What's the fun in that? I once dated a very opinionated Italian beauty who a Saudi sheik tried to buy for 12 camels (true story).  

People should be lifted up, not beat down. That treatment of women you mention is intolerable, and not funny at all. These women I mentioned are all strong women. A woman can be strong, beautiful, and kind-hearted. The men who marry them all seem happy to me. These couples all stay married, too. I didn't mean to agitate you and I hope you are happy, as well.

View PostJerseyBoy, on 07 November 2017 - 11:03 AM, said:

Agree 100%. There is nothing funny about how women are treated in some of those Arab Countries. If that's what people aspire to in a wife, I feel very sorry for that wife.

It was satire, guys. I'm a woman and I find the "women from culturally sexist countries make better wives than American women" offensive. Just to make that crystal clear.
Who said anything about "sexist countries"? Who made that a qualifier? Sweden? The most liberated women on the globe. Never met one who wasn't in charge. It's wonderful.

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#53 The7thLetter

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 06:09 PM

bookmarking thread for later...

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#54 jhbangas

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 06:37 PM

View PostBeerPerHole, on 07 November 2017 - 10:58 AM, said:

View Postchocolate_rehab, on 07 November 2017 - 12:49 AM, said:

View PostBeerPerHole, on 06 November 2017 - 09:12 AM, said:

View Posthammy83, on 06 November 2017 - 08:07 AM, said:

I doubt your wife hates you golfing.  What she hates is your having fun without her.  My ex-wife did the same.  Eventually she got so pissed off she became someone else's problem. My current wife has no hobbies, and gets bitter every time I golf but... she gets it.   She knows that no golf makes hammy a miserable person.  I told her spend whatever you want, do whatever you want but me not golfing, is not an option.  You knew this when you met me.
My advice to you is to stop lying about what you are doing.  I did that with the first wife, and it just go worse.  Be honest and if it fails... it clearly wasn't meant to be. Can you imagine living the rest of your life with a hassle every time you want to golf?  F that.
Very well said, Hammy. Being in a situation like this, speaking from experience, leads a man to the inconvenient truth.

Somebody above also mentioned that their wife was foreign (Chechen). I don't want to upset anybody but my advice to myself 30 years ago would have been to not court American women. There are some real gems from here, certainly. However, in my many years on this globe I've come to realize that there are more gems from other lands. My wife is French. One of my buddies is married to a Ukrainian goddess. One of my best friends from my youth met a girl from Sweden, went there and said, "Come visit. You'll never go back". And, he's still there, finally settling down with a girl who's a sexier version of Tiger's ex (yes, it's possible).  None of these guys get hounded unless it really matters. My accountant is originally from Eritrea and his wife and her sisters are amazing. These guys are happy. They are happy couples. Marriage is very serious business...

You know what's even better than a wife from Chechen or France? A wife from Saudi Arabia. They can't even drive, so they won't be expecting to use the car or do anything outside of the home (although this is changing, so maybe find a bride quick). They'll never bother you when you're golfing because they're not allowed to even speak to you unless spoken to! You'll never be hounded about anything - helping in the home, taking care of your children, spending time with her, etc. It's literally a dream. You want a happy, stress-free marriage with no talking back or nagging to contribute? Saudi Arabia, boys.
What's the fun in that? I once dated a very opinionated Italian beauty who a Saudi sheik tried to buy for 12 camels (true story).

People should be lifted up, not beat down. That treatment of women you mention is intolerable, and not funny at all. These women I mentioned are all strong women. A woman can be strong, beautiful, and kind-hearted. The men who marry them all seem happy to me. These couples all stay married, too. I didn't mean to agitate you and I hope you are happy, as well.

FTFY

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#55 p3ga

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 08:38 PM



View Postbaddomes, on 04 November 2017 - 12:44 PM, said:

What did you tell your girlfriend and fiance who hates golf?

"See ya"

Phil

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#56 Reasonability

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Posted 08 November 2017 - 01:16 PM

Phew - Well its a public forum and wisdom is always in the eye of the beholder I suppose.

Got very little of it myself but will risk touching this one just to while away a few minutes - lol.

Maybe it's just me but I wouldn't personally want to play golf or pursue much of anything with someone whom I wouldn't consider a really good friend. And with that, of all those friends - I'd like to think my best friend is my wife of well over three decades.

Sexism or any "ism" is ugly and we could always stand a dose of keeping the antennae higher on it... be it male/female, race, age, or whatever.  We're all subjected to it on some level believe it or not and it sucks to be on the wrong end of it.  I personally have some doubts too much progressive call to action happens when raising that awareness reduces to a personalized attack just to vent for the cause (whatever the heck that cause may be). But the perspectives and frames of reference that spawned such reactions are probably understandable enough.

We're either successful or we're still needing to work on it - but at the end of the day wouldn't it help to be making friends out of other golfers and making sure our best friends are our soul mates???   If that much is up and running wouldn't the question on the table be a non-issue???

I wouldn't want or care to play golf with - or be married to - anyone who is not a true friend. And if I didn't know another golfer I'd like to think we made friends out there on some level.  Friends and soul mates don't seem to have much trouble in terms of setting expectation bars on each other.  Guess I could be all wet here but what the hey - I played in the sandbox for a bit on this one and wish one and all the best going forward.

Cheers!  
.

Edited by Reasonability, 08 November 2017 - 01:20 PM.

A cynic sees the cost of everything
and the value of nothing.

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#57 JerseyBoy

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Posted 08 November 2017 - 01:26 PM

View Postchocolate_rehab, on 07 November 2017 - 01:28 PM, said:

It was satire, guys.

Apologies. It's extremely hard to tell sometimes with all the wackos on the internet these days and their crazy opinions. I don't like to assume anything most of the time.

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#58 swing thoughts

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Posted 08 November 2017 - 01:39 PM

Thank God I have a wife who supports my playing. This is even when I took up golf AFTER we were engaged. I count my blessings and I truly feel for you guys who have a difficult time with it.

That said, if you are married to someone who makes life difficult for you when you play, then maybe you should use a little deceit. I was thinking, do you have a blue collar job or a job that requires outdoor work or some lifting or anything? Maybe you could stash a set of clubs somewhere at work or at a course nearby and take off a little early now and then and come home a few minutes late after sneaking in 9 in the evening. You could blame the sweaty smell/look on some physical work you put in that day. I dunno, just a thought.
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#59 JerseyBoy

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Posted 08 November 2017 - 01:47 PM

View Postswing thoughts, on 08 November 2017 - 01:39 PM, said:

...then maybe you should use a little deceit.

LOL, yes, because the foundation of any marriage should be lying to one another to "get away with it". Nice.

I can hear the argument now, right before the divroce papers are filed.

"YOU LIED TO ME!!!"

"I wouldn't have to if you wouldn't give me s*** every time I tried to go out Golfing, you know!!"

"Yeah, but, YOU LIED TO ME!!!"

Ad infinitum. Lawyers gonna get rich on this one.

Edited by JerseyBoy, 08 November 2017 - 01:49 PM.


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#60 Edaw68

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Posted 09 November 2017 - 09:06 AM

Secret vasectomy.


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