Jump to content

Welcome. You are currently viewing the forum as a guest which does not give you access to all the great features at GolfWRX such as viewing all the images, interacting with members, access to all forums and eligiblility to win free giveaways. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

- - - - -

Just joined a country club...feel out of place


93 replies to this topic

#61 deadsolid...shank

deadsolid...shank

    Hall of Fame

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 7,556 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 99408
  • Joined: 11/30/2009
GolfWRX Likes : 3607

Posted 05 October 2017 - 09:09 AM

 North Butte, on 05 October 2017 - 08:43 AM, said:

 deadsolid...shank, on 05 October 2017 - 08:35 AM, said:

 North Butte, on 05 October 2017 - 08:27 AM, said:

This is borderline snarky, I guess but the only times I've ever felt "out of place" at my own club is on the rare occasions I stick around for dinner in the clubhouse dining room. I look around and keep waiting for someone to put on some oldies beach music and a shag dance session to start up.

My fellow members by and large are the groups of frat boys and sorority girls my lot used to laugh at as they showed up to college football games attired in identical jackets and dresses. I can't really say "now I'm one of them" because I'm not. I'd never know there was an "us" and "them" if I only saw them on the golf course.

I don't think I've been in our dining room (outside of our men's association fund raiser) in five or six years. I'm very much a bar and grill type guy.

Our country club has two overlapping groups of members. There are the golf addicts and the socializers. Large overlap between them, though. There's dozens of couples and families who both play golf and do the social stuff. I'm totally a golf addict (bordering on trunk slammer, if I'm honest).

It's been quite a while since I did the dining-room thing. I do recall the last time overhearing some of the cocktail-party-type chatter and realizing that for most of these folks, golf is literally the only thing in our lives that we share whatsoever.

Which is the point I'd like to make to our OP. It may or may not be true that the country club you joined has a lot of "not your people" in it. But don't make the mistake of thinking you won't fit in. You're only going to spend time around the folks who are as obsessed by golf as yourself and golf is a HUGE leveler. It is perfectly possible to be a happy member of a club and "fit in" without being interesting in cocktail party banter or ever being invited over to someone's house!

Well said NB. I've always been a trunk slammer in the past(and still am at one of the public courses I have a season pass to). But we never really played for anything. So now we go in, have a drink and settle bets while watching whatever game is on, and then fairly quickly head out. We are very much a golf only group. I would venture a guess that many who frequent this site are more golf than social oriented at their own clubs. Those similar mindsets tend to find each other.

Titleist 910 8.5
Titleist 910 15*
Titleist 910H 17*
2-6 Mizuno MP-60, 7-PW MP-67
SC GoLo
Vokey SM5 52,58,62

Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


1

#62 Roadking2003

Roadking2003

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,507 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 406342
  • Joined: 12/21/2015
  • Location:Austin
  • Handicap:8.7
GolfWRX Likes : 1221

Posted 05 October 2017 - 09:47 AM

 Chomper, on 03 October 2017 - 09:40 PM, said:

Lots of good advice in here.
I joined my club three years ago - didn't know a soul. I tried to play in every men's event I could during my first six months.
I now know and play with at least half the membership.
Only advice I will give is this - be a fun partner and a courteous golfer.

Great advice.  When I joined my club 15 years ago I played in every event I could.  I met lots of great guys that way and continue to play with many of them today.

The more you are around the other members, the more comfortable you will become.

2

#63 az2au

az2au

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,178 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 185434
  • Joined: 06/10/2012
  • Location:Scottsdale, AZ/New York, NY
  • Handicap:3.6
GolfWRX Likes : 463

Posted 05 October 2017 - 10:34 AM

 Chomper, on 03 October 2017 - 09:40 PM, said:

Lots of good advice in here.
I joined my club three years ago - didn't know a soul. I tried to play in every men's event I could during my first six months.
I now know and play with at least half the membership.
Only advice I will give is this - be a fun partner and a courteous golfer.
I remember when you joined and at least 5 or 6 different members said, "Did you meet (Chomper's real name) yet?  Great guy and and fun to play with."  And this was spread across a large cross section of people.  I would guess that the youngest guy that told me that was around 40 and the oldest was in their late 70s.  I did much the same around 7 years before Chomper.  Didn't know a soul but played in every single game I could find to meet as many different members as possible.  Although I'm not sure I was quite as popular :)   That said, even though due to work and a shoulder injury I have only played around 20 rounds out there in the last couple of years, it is still like home when I'm there because I know such a large cross section of people.  

Seize all of the opportunities you can.  I've mentored another member's niece as she works her way through business school and participated in charitable organizations that other members sponsor.  Those things have been small impacts to my time but huge in terms of both personal satisfaction and staying in touch with others even when I'm not out there playing.  

Based on this thread it would seem I would never have these issues though because of the kind of car I drive.  :lol:   Let me go ahead and assure you that everyone feels that way and needs to work to fit in.  

3

#64 Roody

Roody

    You ride her until she bucks you or don't ride at all

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 845 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 63452
  • Joined: 08/16/2008
  • Location:Rochester, NY
  • Handicap:7.8
GolfWRX Likes : 483

Posted 05 October 2017 - 12:18 PM

I'm finishing up my 2nd season at my current club, and a few of my thoughts on this are:

- Try to get into any member tourneys/leagues that you can. You'll automatically get paired with other members, and it's a great way to make new friends. My friend and I joined our club last year, and we got into the member/member event early on. The two guys we got paired with in that event are now part of our regular foursome every week.

- There are a couple guys at my club who run games every weekend. They go into the online tee time system and block off 3-4 slots every weekend, and have a bunch of regulars who play in their groups. When my regular guys can't play, I try to make a point to talk to one of these guys to see if I can get into their group. Find these guys at your club and introduce yourself. The worst that will happen is they'll always tell you they're full and can't take anymore players.

- Become chummy with your pro. I haven't taken any lessons with mine, but I've made sure he knows who I am and have always made sure to chat it up with him when I can. The result is twice this season he's added other members into my group when I don't have a full foursome, and one of them has become semi-regular in my weekend games now. In other words, if the pro thinks you're a nice guy, he's likely to stick other members with you who are looking for a group.

Edited by Roody, 05 October 2017 - 12:19 PM.

Titleist ProV1x
Titleist 915 D2
Titleist 716 T-MB 2-iron
Callaway Apex irons 3-PW
Odyssey Black Series #7
Callaway Jaws and Mack Daddy Wedges

4

#65 Pepperturbo

Pepperturbo

    Highland Park Dark Origins

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,656 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 14656
  • Joined: 05/09/2006
  • Location:Midwest and Southwest
  • Handicap:lowS
GolfWRX Likes : 2407

Posted 05 October 2017 - 12:21 PM

I am a car guy... fast ones...  Five of my buddies are car guys too, except they have collector / muscle cars.  Yep, they are different from my two and way more expensive.  One friend has 15 cars; that's more than two times what I own.  They are kept in a garage with a built-in condo.  Another has three planes in a hanger with a condo to die for.  One buddy has 800 employees, that's eight times mine.  His house is 5 times the size of mine and could buy my company and not notice the cost.

Point in sharing that is, we don't judge each other by our choices in cars or how many, house size, what we do for a living or what's in his wallet... or even if he has shiny new tournament bag with his name on it, filled with the latest and greatest clubs and plays to a 18.

If you haven't guessed it yet, we judge a man on his behavior.  How comfortable he is in his own skin, and how he behaves around people that are NOT like him.  Most of all though, how he behaves on the golf course and 19th hole, and is he self-assured, joiner.  Don't judge a man by what's in his bag, cause if you do, you'll never know the man or his game. :beach:

Edited by Pepperturbo, 05 October 2017 - 12:26 PM.

Titleist 917D2 10.5, Fujikura Fuel 60 S, Tour Spec
Titleist 917F2, 15*, Original Blueboard 83 x5ct, S
Titleist 716T-MB 17* 2 iron, PX Flighted 6.0
Titleist 716CB 3-PW, KBS Tour S+
SM6 F-52*, KBS C-Taper S
SM6 M-58*, DGS200
ProV1 & ProV1X
SC California Monterey

5

#66 tim6918

tim6918

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 152 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 475
  • Joined: 05/02/2005
  • Location:MI
  • Handicap:2
GolfWRX Likes : 20

Posted 05 October 2017 - 12:44 PM

Best way to meet new people at the club is to compete in the tournaments. I, much like yourself, play by myself mostly if the wife and kids are not with me. Only way I have met people at the two clubs I've been at was through club tournaments. I don't care enough to join random groups so the tournaments created opportunities for me to meet members and be invited to groups as a result.

Every club, whether blue or white collar, will have their cliques that will make you feel as though you don't belong. But, in the end, you all pay the same dues every month. So as long as you maintain good status with the club no one person is better then you. Do not let anyone spoil away your country club experience.  You will get better each passing day now that you have access everyday. Enjoy it!

Tim

6

#67 North Butte

North Butte

    Hall of Fame

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,304 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 424472
  • Joined: 05/09/2016
  • Handicap:9.9
GolfWRX Likes : 3288

Posted 05 October 2017 - 12:59 PM

I hate always being the contrarian but at my club about 10-15% of the members ever play in a tournament other than the yearly member-guest (and that's maybe 15% or a bit more). I know every club is different, at least in theory, but the places I've played the best way to meet other members is to play in one of the daily or weekly dogfights or whatever they call them. There are lots of guys who play 2, 3, 4 or more times a week in this or that group who have no interest in tournament play.

Now if having tournaments to play in is a part of why you joined, then the point is well taken. But I don't get the impression from our OP that's he's the kind of golfer seeking out serious competition.
A sensible man will realize that the eyes may be confused in two ways---by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize the same thing happens to the soul.

--Plato

7

#68 Rory4Pres

Rory4Pres

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 214 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 363997
  • Joined: 02/25/2015
  • Location:Kansas City
  • Handicap:0.2
GolfWRX Likes : 55

Posted 05 October 2017 - 01:45 PM

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

I feel ya buddy.  Like all new environments, stay open minded and be outgoing!  Congrats on the 82!

8

#69 deadsolid...shank

deadsolid...shank

    Hall of Fame

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 7,556 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 99408
  • Joined: 11/30/2009
GolfWRX Likes : 3607

Posted 05 October 2017 - 06:47 PM

 North Butte, on 05 October 2017 - 12:59 PM, said:

I hate always being the contrarian but at my club about 10-15% of the members ever play in a tournament other than the yearly member-guest (and that's maybe 15% or a bit more). I know every club is different, at least in theory, but the places I've played the best way to meet other members is to play in one of the daily or weekly dogfights or whatever they call them. There are lots of guys who play 2, 3, 4 or more times a week in this or that group who have no interest in tournament play.

Now if having tournaments to play in is a part of why you joined, then the point is well taken. But I don't get the impression from our OP that's he's the kind of golfer seeking out serious competition.

A lot more interest is perked when cash trades hands at the end of the round, as opposed to seeing who can win the most pro shop credit.

We're a $20-$75 dollar max loss group. And that amount really grabs my attention. Some of the groups are several hundred per round, and I know they're small potatoes to many of them out there. Point is, like NB says, the weekly games are the places to be.

The tournaments might be 30 or 40 people, half of which might be members. But the daily games might draw two or three times that many players.

Edited by deadsolid...shank, 05 October 2017 - 06:49 PM.

Titleist 910 8.5
Titleist 910 15*
Titleist 910H 17*
2-6 Mizuno MP-60, 7-PW MP-67
SC GoLo
Vokey SM5 52,58,62

9

#70 North Butte

North Butte

    Hall of Fame

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,304 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 424472
  • Joined: 05/09/2016
  • Handicap:9.9
GolfWRX Likes : 3288

Posted 05 October 2017 - 06:50 PM

And honestly, if you're living to play in tournaments, at most USA clubs you'll have another 350 or so days to fill because there just aren't tournaments that frequently.

A sensible man will realize that the eyes may be confused in two ways---by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize the same thing happens to the soul.

--Plato

Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


10

#71 BrianL99

BrianL99

    Hall of Fame

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,055 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 156579
  • Joined: 01/20/2012
  • Location:Concord, MA & Spring Hill, FL
  • Handicap:IRL
GolfWRX Likes : 3142

Posted 05 October 2017 - 06:53 PM

 EKELLY, on 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM, said:

The club I play at in Tampa has some old snobbers, just like the PC I grew up at in NY. Don't worry about those guys. You'll find a group. The key is be around the club, the bar (if you chose), and interact........Give it a year or so....I'm on #3 in Tampa....They all have their little ups/downs.....

What 3 have you tried?  There aren't many good ones around Tampa, that's for sure.

11

#72 KCCO

KCCO

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,087 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 138532
  • Joined: 09/06/2011
GolfWRX Likes : 205

Posted 05 October 2017 - 07:16 PM

I think you made a good decision. Reasons being, if you truly want to get better, you have access to a course that you can come and go as you please, practice in practice areas, and even have your own little practice rounds. If you plan on playing a decent amount, and how nice the course is, that could be 5-7 rounds a month anywhere else. But now you have the amenities of what a private country club has to offer. I.e. Locker room, showers, and as mentioned no longer paying to practice at range or practice facilities as you can play basically whenever you want. It's hard to bite the bullet, but once you start meeting people you will find some people you are comfortable playing with, and not only will you learn from members who have been there quite a bit, your game will progress just from getting more time in not having to arrange outings at the limited amount of public courses you mentioned.
I don't know if you have a food & beverage requirement, but that's where you can have a nice reason for you and the wife to get out, and again will meet other members and continuing to bond with others. I personally love my club as they are pretty hardcore golfers, and can teach you a lot.
As for justifying cost, cut out something you may waste money on, or try...maybe you smoke, or go out to eat a lot, which now you can do there. I look at it as it's my course. A different feeling you get from public courses, so most if not all have a respect for the course and its members. You will get used to it. Just remember, either you will love it, and continue to be a member, or it was an experience you now know is not for you. But I have no regrets. Fortunately I have a golf family, father-in-law, uncle, mother, etc...amongst friends. I love being thereas it feels like my home course. When you go somewhere else on occasion, you will surprise others with the progression in your game as it's there whenever you want. *also forgot about club member events, another cool aspect you may come to appreciate. Hope you enjoy and have no regrets, Cheers!
Titleist 917 D3
Titleist 917 F
Titleist 915 H
PXG 0311T                    MCI-100 black
PXG Darkness 52/58.    MCI-100 black
009 ProV1

12

#73 golow

golow

    I Gots Issues

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 749 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 725
  • Joined: 05/19/2005
  • Location:CT
GolfWRX Likes : 183

Posted 05 October 2017 - 07:40 PM

Remember that these so called upper echilon people (your perspective) are members of the exact same club as you .... if they could afford more they wouldn't be there. You are by definition on the same (country club) level as they are .... you need to believe that and if there are any actual snobs they just feel bad about themselves when they see you pull into the lot in your beater ... they are then reminded about their true status.

golow™

13

#74 burnsniper

burnsniper

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 353 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 60950
  • Joined: 07/20/2008
GolfWRX Likes : 78

Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:16 PM

The vast majority of golf enthusiasts (like those on this board and the 'regulars' at country clubs) are genuinely good people who will play and share their passion for the game with any other golf enthusiast - this includes members at some of the most exclusive clubs in the country that I have met through business or by being paired with them at top public courses.  I grew up as a member of a country club in a small town like the OP is describing and in a very similar situation where my family lived a comfortable upper middle class lifestyle and nowhere near the top of the economic ladder of the community.  In our case the club membership ended up equating to ~ $3 a round because we played at least 9 nearly every day spring-fall.  20 years latter I am now a member of a very distinguished and well known old money country club (emphasis on country club vs golf club) that includes members that nearly every American would recognize by name or face.  My wife and I worked and sacrificed a lot through education and our early career to get to what most would consider upper class.  Ironically, at my club 'upper class' is again nowhere near the top of the economic ladder of the community (and I have gotten some stares for driving up in my beater 95 integra with no paint instead of one of my BMW M cars lol).  However, none of it matters; most members of private clubs are members so they can 'let down their hair' and enjoy the company of others without the social pressure that they may feel in other settings.  I have played with former Executives at Fortune 500 companies, Supreme Court lawyers, former NFL players, movie producers, writers, etc. and we always have a good time discussing our very different paths in life while sharing our passion for golf.  As several of the commenters here suggested, the OP needs to get a handicap and use tournaments and the club staff to find 'their game/group' at the club.  The OP shouldn't worry about the 'snobbery' they think they are feeling at the club and approach membership as a way to build meaningful relationships with others that love golf.

14

#75 KCCO

KCCO

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,087 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 138532
  • Joined: 09/06/2011
GolfWRX Likes : 205

Posted 05 October 2017 - 11:58 PM

 burnsniper, on 05 October 2017 - 08:16 PM, said:

The vast majority of golf enthusiasts (like those on this board and the 'regulars' at country clubs) are genuinely good people who will play and share their passion for the game with any other golf enthusiast - this includes members at some of the most exclusive clubs in the country that I have met through business or by being paired with them at top public courses.  I grew up as a member of a country club in a small town like the OP is describing and in a very similar situation where my family lived a comfortable upper middle class lifestyle and nowhere near the top of the economic ladder of the community.  In our case the club membership ended up equating to ~ $3 a round because we played at least 9 nearly every day spring-fall.  20 years latter I am now a member of a very distinguished and well known old money country club (emphasis on country club vs golf club) that includes members that nearly every American would recognize by name or face.  My wife and I worked and sacrificed a lot through education and our early career to get to what most would consider upper class.  Ironically, at my club 'upper class' is again nowhere near the top of the economic ladder of the community (and I have gotten some stares for driving up in my beater 95 integra with no paint instead of one of my BMW M cars lol).  However, none of it matters; most members of private clubs are members so they can 'let down their hair' and enjoy the company of others without the social pressure that they may feel in other settings.  I have played with former Executives at Fortune 500 companies, Supreme Court lawyers, former NFL players, movie producers, writers, etc. and we always have a good time discussing our very different paths in life while sharing our passion for golf.  As several of the commenters here suggested, the OP needs to get a handicap and use tournaments and the club staff to find 'their game/group' at the club.  The OP shouldn't worry about the 'snobbery' they think they are feeling at the club and approach membership as a way to build meaningful relationships with others that love golf.

I never drive the nice whip to the club, as I've seen one too many bags that aren't left at club house go from car to area where we check-in bang up against the side of a car for that person to not even look back to see the mark they left on someone's pride and joy...so better off leaving the nice car at home anyhow:) just another .02

Titleist 917 D3
Titleist 917 F
Titleist 915 H
PXG 0311T                    MCI-100 black
PXG Darkness 52/58.    MCI-100 black
009 ProV1

15

#76 Roadking2003

Roadking2003

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,507 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 406342
  • Joined: 12/21/2015
  • Location:Austin
  • Handicap:8.7
GolfWRX Likes : 1221

Posted 06 October 2017 - 12:44 PM

 North Butte, on 05 October 2017 - 06:50 PM, said:

And honestly, if you're living to play in tournaments, at most USA clubs you'll have another 350 or so days to fill because there just aren't tournaments that frequently.

What ??????????

I've been a member of three clubs and they all have one club sponsored tournament every month, and usually an informal event every week.

16

#77 burnsniper

burnsniper

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 353 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 60950
  • Joined: 07/20/2008
GolfWRX Likes : 78

Posted 06 October 2017 - 03:41 PM

 KCCO, on 05 October 2017 - 11:58 PM, said:

I never drive the nice whip to the club, as I've seen one too many bags that aren't left at club house go from car to area where we check-in bang up against the side of a car for that person to not even look back to see the mark they left on someone's pride and joy...so better off leaving the nice car at home anyhow:) just another .02

Well I purchased my M3 to drive my then newborn daughter around (5 star crash rated, 4 door, mt, 444 hp) and since my club will take care of her while I play nine ... the M3 goes to the club the most often.  I rarely take my 'rare' appreciating M car there.  As I told my dad when I took him to play there the first time,  this is where you take your BMW to get door dinged by a Porsche.  Still no comparison to the Preschool parking lot where it's a mater of "if not when"  I get door dinged or keyed by some jealous dad/mom driving a Kia minivan.  Note that I in no way mean to demean anyone who drives a Kia minivan - I love pretty much all cars segments and drive tons of rental cars while on business.  Almost all of the M3's mileage is from driving to the club and my daughter to preschool/friend's houses.

Edited by burnsniper, 06 October 2017 - 03:45 PM.


17

#78 Chanceman

Chanceman

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 78 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 403162
  • Joined: 11/17/2015
  • Location:Australia
  • Handicap:19
GolfWRX Likes : 13

Posted 06 October 2017 - 09:01 PM

One thing I agree with here is that no-one cares about how well you are playng except for your self. In fact some may even like the fact you are a higher handicapper than them. - they will look good next to you.!! That is the great thing about handicaps - the 30 plus hacker can play against and beat the scratch marker. Btw I recall my first round at my new club when I got stuck in the large bunker right in front of the clubhouse. I thought hundreds of members must have been watching and shaking ther heads. But no-one ever said anything and I feel right at home now (but I avoid that bunker like it was Syria).

18

#79 BrianL99

BrianL99

    Hall of Fame

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,055 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 156579
  • Joined: 01/20/2012
  • Location:Concord, MA & Spring Hill, FL
  • Handicap:IRL
GolfWRX Likes : 3142

Posted 07 October 2017 - 05:37 AM

 burnsniper, on 06 October 2017 - 03:41 PM, said:

 KCCO, on 05 October 2017 - 11:58 PM, said:

I never drive the nice whip to the club, as I've seen one too many bags that aren't left at club house go from car to area where we check-in bang up against the side of a car for that person to not even look back to see the mark they left on someone's pride and joy...so better off leaving the nice car at home anyhow:) just another .02

Well I purchased my M3 to drive my then newborn daughter around (5 star crash rated, 4 door, mt, 444 hp) and since my club will take care of her while I play nine ... the M3 goes to the club the most often.  I rarely take my 'rare' appreciating M car there.  As I told my dad when I took him to play there the first time,  this is where you take your BMW to get door dinged by a Porsche.  Still no comparison to the Preschool parking lot where it's a mater of "if not when"  I get door dinged or keyed by some jealous dad/mom driving a Kia minivan.  Note that I in no way mean to demean anyone who drives a Kia minivan - I love pretty much all cars segments and drive tons of rental cars while on business.  Almost all of the M3's mileage is from driving to the club and my daughter to preschool/friend's houses.

That one gets my vote, for the most "off topic, passive brag post" of the month.

Edited by BrianL99, 07 October 2017 - 04:51 PM.


19

#80 forgedforever

forgedforever

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,577 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 68926
  • Joined: 11/08/2008
  • Location:Nebraska
  • Ebay ID:crazy4huskers
GolfWRX Likes : 493

Posted 07 October 2017 - 06:05 AM

I haven't read all the replies yet (6 a.m. coffee has yet to kick in) but would recommend you establish a GHIN and ask about joining a league, if available and you can make it work.  No better way to meet folks than playing regularly in a league.  Get to know a few of them and I will bet you get some invites to play casually on a weekend etc.

In any event, good luck and remember that people are just people and most will give you a chance if you step out of your comfort zone a bit.

And has been noted, welcome to the board!


Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


Wanna get rid of this ugly yellow box? And remove other annoying "stuff" in between posts? Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

20

#81 Hot Rod 71

Hot Rod 71

    #TheWRX

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 7,807 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 108037
  • Joined: 05/15/2010
  • Location:RVA
  • Handicap:low
GolfWRX Likes : 5839

Posted 07 October 2017 - 07:02 AM

 Pepperturbo, on 05 October 2017 - 12:21 PM, said:

I am a car guy... fast ones...  Five of my buddies are car guys too, except they have collector / muscle cars.  Yep, they are different from my two and way more expensive.  One friend has 15 cars; that's more than two times what I own.  They are kept in a garage with a built-in condo.  Another has three planes in a hanger with a condo to die for.  One buddy has 800 employees, that's eight times mine.  His house is 5 times the size of mine and could buy my company and not notice the cost.

Point in sharing that is, we don't judge each other by our choices in cars or how many, house size, what we do for a living or what's in his wallet... or even if he has shiny new tournament bag with his name on it, filled with the latest and greatest clubs and plays to a 18.

If you haven't guessed it yet, we judge a man on his behavior.  How comfortable he is in his own skin, and how he behaves around people that are NOT like him.  Most of all though, how he behaves on the golf course and 19th hole, and is he self-assured, joiner.  Don't judge a man by what's in his bag, cause if you do, you'll never know the man or his game. :beach:

One of the greatest passive brags in GolfWRX history. Legendary!
Callaway EPIC 10* - Aldila Rogue 60X
Callaway EPIC SZ 15* - Aldila Tour Blue 75X
Srixon U65 3/20* - Nippon Pro Modus 125-S
Srixon Z765 4-PW - Nippon Pro Modus 125-S(hs)
Callaway MD Forged 52, 56, 60 - Nippon Pro Modus Wedge 125
Odyssey White Hot XG #7
Srixon Z-Star XV/TP5-X

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Srixon Z-Star Series Test Panel 2013
Tensei CK Blue Test Panel 2015
#TheWRX 2016

21

#82 burnsniper

burnsniper

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 353 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 60950
  • Joined: 07/20/2008
GolfWRX Likes : 78

Posted 07 October 2017 - 07:50 AM

 BrianL99, on 07 October 2017 - 05:37 AM, said:

 burnsniper, on 06 October 2017 - 03:41 PM, said:

 KCCO, on 05 October 2017 - 11:58 PM, said:

I never drive the nice whip to the club, as I've seen one too many bags that aren't left at club house go from car to area where we check-in bang up against the side of a car for that person to not even look back to see the mark they left on someone's pride and joy...so better off leaving the nice car at home anyhow:) just another .02

Well I purchased my M3 to drive my then newborn daughter around (5 star crash rated, 4 door, mt, 444 hp) and since my club will take care of her while I play nine ... the M3 goes to the club the most often.  I rarely take my 'rare' appreciating M car there.  As I told my dad when I took him to play there the first time,  this is where you take your BMW to get door dinged by a Porsche.  Still no comparison to the Preschool parking lot where it's a mater of "if not when"  I get door dinged or keyed by some jealous dad/mom driving a Kia minivan.  Note that I in no way mean to demean anyone who drives a Kia minivan - I love pretty much all cars segments and drive tons of rental cars while on business.  Almost all of the M3's mileage is from driving to the club and my daughter to preschool/friend's houses.

That one gest my vote, for the most "off topic, passive brag post" of the month.

Glad you enjoyed it!



22

#83 dcfas

dcfas

    Tour Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 583 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 27254
  • Joined: 03/30/2007
GolfWRX Likes : 55

Posted 10 October 2017 - 06:55 PM

A friend of mine belongs to a club locally that is way out of my financial range. The thing is we don't play much together because of it. When he invites me he always pays for everything and I feel a bit awkward. I try to invite him to nice public courses but he's got so much invested at his course, in addition to all the convenience of a locker, his clubs, and about fifty other amenities that he seldom will take me up on the offer and I don't blame him. I wonder what the limit is on inviting guests. I may join in the future but it won't be at his club. My wife would have a heart attack. Lol.

23

#84 sheldonjhacker

sheldonjhacker

    Major Winner

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 3,000 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 87167
  • Joined: 07/01/2009
GolfWRX Likes : 927

Posted 10 October 2017 - 07:23 PM

 Hot Rod 71, on 07 October 2017 - 07:02 AM, said:

 Pepperturbo, on 05 October 2017 - 12:21 PM, said:

I am a car guy... fast ones...  Five of my buddies are car guys too, except they have collector / muscle cars.  Yep, they are different from my two and way more expensive.  One friend has 15 cars; that's more than two times what I own.  They are kept in a garage with a built-in condo.  Another has three planes in a hanger with a condo to die for.  One buddy has 800 employees, that's eight times mine.  His house is 5 times the size of mine and could buy my company and not notice the cost.

Point in sharing that is, we don't judge each other by our choices in cars or how many, house size, what we do for a living or what's in his wallet... or even if he has shiny new tournament bag with his name on it, filled with the latest and greatest clubs and plays to a 18.

If you haven't guessed it yet, we judge a man on his behavior.  How comfortable he is in his own skin, and how he behaves around people that are NOT like him.  Most of all though, how he behaves on the golf course and 19th hole, and is he self-assured, joiner.  Don't judge a man by what's in his bag, cause if you do, you'll never know the man or his game. :beach:

One of the greatest passive brags in GolfWRX history. Legendary!
I
Sad but true. :russian_roulette:

24

#85 dachtor

dachtor

    Tour Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 788 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 3117
  • Joined: 07/19/2005
  • Location:Atlanta, GA
  • Ebay ID:jeffbeck70
GolfWRX Likes : 53

Posted 11 October 2017 - 08:05 AM

I felt the same way when I first joined a club 10 years ago. Now some of my best friends are members at the same club.

I think the most important thing is to be honest with yourself and figure out what you are looking for. Then speak to the guys in the shop and see if they can match you up based on that information.

Example - if you are a 20 hdcp and like to go out and play a $5 nassau and drink 10 beers, then they won't (shouldn't) pair you up with a group of guys who are scratch, sober, and play a $100 nassau. Somewhere at that club is a group that is looking to get the same thing out of a round of golf and the guys in the shop can help you identify who that is.

Taylormade 2017 M1 9.5 - Hzrdus Black 6.0
Taylormade 2017 M2 3 wood - Diamana D+ 70
Taylormade 2017 M1 3 Hybrid - Diamana D+ 80
Titleist 816 H2 Hybrid 21 - Diamana D+ 80
Mizuno 900 Forged 5-PW - Project X LZ 6.0
Titleist SM5 GW - SW - LW
Cameron X7M putter 33"

25

#86 jeffreydan32

jeffreydan32

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 8 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 481952
  • Joined: 09/15/2017
  • Location:Arkansas
  • Handicap:16
GolfWRX Likes : 24

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:25 AM

I never thought I would have gotten so much response from this post.  Thank you guys so much for all the advice!

26

#87 vallygolf

vallygolf

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 200 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 366851
  • Joined: 03/17/2015
  • Location:az
GolfWRX Likes : 74

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:41 AM

 jeffreydan32, on 11 October 2017 - 11:25 AM, said:

I never thought I would have gotten so much response from this post.  Thank you guys so much for all the advice!


I would suspect you will find the same response as you continue to reach out at your club.  Frankly, there are a lot of really great people in this world, and as evidenced by this thread a dud or two :)

27

#88 duffer987

duffer987

    Wears trousers.

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,319 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 201269
  • Joined: 09/03/2012
  • Location:Canadian in Texas
  • Handicap:8.0
GolfWRX Likes : 4540

Posted 11 October 2017 - 05:26 PM

 vallygolf, on 11 October 2017 - 11:41 AM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 11 October 2017 - 11:25 AM, said:

I never thought I would have gotten so much response from this post.  Thank you guys so much for all the advice!


I would suspect you will find the same response as you continue to reach out at your club.  Frankly, there are a lot of really great people in this world, and as evidenced by this thread a dud or two :)

Spot on!
Welcome to the forum OP and good luck settling into your club. Some fantastic advice and musings by some stand-up, real-world, golfing humans here that you can hopefully internalize... and you got the lead forum fantasist as a bonus ;)

Enjoy your golf and whether it happens sooner or later, it will happen, that you'll click with a group of guys. Hit 'em straight!

28

#89 Sean2

Sean2

    #TheWRX (Callaway Trip)

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 25,913 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 29539
  • Joined: 05/23/2007
  • Location:South of Boston
  • Ebay ID:None
GolfWRX Likes : 12586

Posted 11 October 2017 - 05:33 PM

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up. Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

Sorry you are going through that. I really don't get people sometimes. Judging a person based on what car they drive, or how well they hit a golf ball seems shallow to me.

I hope you end up meeting some nice folks and enjoying yourself. :-)
Callaway GBB Epic 11º / Mitsubishi Rayon Diamana M+ 40 R
Callaway GBB Epic 16º / 20º / 24º Mitsubishi Rayon Diamana M+ 50 S

Callaway CF16 / 6--AW / UST Recoil ES 460 F4
Callaway 54/10 MD Forged / UST Recoil ES 460 F4
Callaway 58/10 MD PM / UST Recoil ES 460 F

Callaway 62/10 MD PM / UST Recoil ES 460 F
Callaway Odyssey O Works Tank #7

29

#90 Mr.Fuji

Mr.Fuji

    Connection

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 533 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 120191
  • Joined: 01/08/2011
  • Location:SC
GolfWRX Likes : 166

Posted 13 October 2017 - 06:23 PM

 Hot Rod 71, on 07 October 2017 - 07:02 AM, said:

 Pepperturbo, on 05 October 2017 - 12:21 PM, said:

I am a car guy... fast ones...  Five of my buddies are car guys too, except they have collector / muscle cars.  Yep, they are different from my two and way more expensive.  One friend has 15 cars; that's more than two times what I own.  They are kept in a garage with a built-in condo.  Another has three planes in a hanger with a condo to die for.  One buddy has 800 employees, that's eight times mine.  His house is 5 times the size of mine and could buy my company and not notice the cost.

Point in sharing that is, we don't judge each other by our choices in cars or how many, house size, what we do for a living or what's in his wallet... or even if he has shiny new tournament bag with his name on it, filled with the latest and greatest clubs and plays to a 18.

If you haven't guessed it yet, we judge a man on his behavior.  How comfortable he is in his own skin, and how he behaves around people that are NOT like him.  Most of all though, how he behaves on the golf course and 19th hole, and is he self-assured, joiner.  Don't judge a man by what's in his bag, cause if you do, you'll never know the man or his game. :beach:

One of the greatest passive brags in GolfWRX history. Legendary!

Agreed, except the passive part. At least we had to some math to figure out he owns 7.5 cars and has 100 employees.

OP, hopefully it all works out for you.

Titleist 910D2 10.5*
Titleist 915F 15*
Titleist 816H1 21*
Titleist 913H 24*
Titleist 718 AP2 5-PW
Vokey SM4 52*, 56*, 60*
SC Del Mar 3.5 Insp. by Sergio

Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


Wanna get rid of this ugly yellow box? And remove other annoying "stuff" in between posts? Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

30



1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

GolfWRX Sponsors