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Just joined a country club...feel out of place


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#31 deadsolid...shank

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 06:40 AM

Hey OP, I can relate a bit. Sounds like a similar situation, small community (a bit smaller than yours, but close enough). Everyone who is anyone is a member at the local club. There has always been, and probably always will be, the stigma that "the club" is a bunch of upper crust snobs. What I've found is, those people are in fact there. But they are by far the minority. Every course has its share of douches. The biggest a** in town plays at the public course.

There has a been a lot of solid advice, and I'll echo the main one. Get to know the pro(s), and let them get to know you. They know the membership and will help you find people to play with. Then, as different people come in and out of your group for a round or two, before you know it you have a large pool of playing partners. Play quickly and don't be miserable to play with and I guarantee no one will care what you shoot (except maybe your partner��), and you'll find yourself having plenty of opportunities.

When my core group broke up several years ago, our head pro hooked me up on men's day with a group that was short a player. Now several years down the road, that one day grouping has led to my new regular group, and a huge secondary group (and course). It really does work. Good luck.

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#32 GTgolf

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 06:52 AM

Great advice in this thread.

Remember, everyone at one point, was the "new guy". I've been at my club for almost 2 years. Didn't know a soul there. Joined to meet new people, games, networking, and ultimately for the love of the game.

Jump in any game you can. Random people. Have fun,


PS. Don't try to justify the cost. It never adds up.

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#33 MrJones

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 07:21 AM

 Honcho72, on 03 October 2017 - 07:10 PM, said:

Get your handicap and play in a tournament or an afternoon dogfight. You should meet some folks and hopefully a few friends.

I'm at a Country Club and had friends that I played with but this is what really changed everything for me. I was also the guy who could just barely afford it while the majority of members are local business owners, doctors, and lawyers.

Playing in tournaments and scrambles (there will be guys there in your handicap range) is the best way I found to meet new people and make new friends.

I've been a member of mine for over 10 years now. For the first 8 years, I knew about 15 guys that were members. After playing in some tournaments these last two years I know probably 60 guys I could play with on any given day.
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#34 jeffreydan32

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 08:06 AM

Thanks so much guys!  Some great advice that I had never thought of.  I will try to update you guys on how its going.

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#35 jeffreydan32

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 08:12 AM

 Pepperturbo, on 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

Hope you turn it around.  Having been on the BOD of two clubs and on membership committees, your feelings in the matter are rather common with new members in private clubs.   Sounds like you jumped too quick, didn't conduct due diligence on the club's culture or review what your looking for in a club environment.  Country Clubs tend to be different than golf clubs with limited facilities.

Some clubs go to great lengths to help new members adjust, but most do little.  Board of Directors figure new members are adults and responsible for their choices.  You might be feeling "YOU" are being judged, but I seriously doubt that's the case.  If they note anything about you or any new member, its his game, how he carry's himself and does he get and make an effort to know others.  Good Luck.

Not really sure what "due diligence" I should have done or what kind of study I should have done on the "culture".  I joined to play golf but I was posting my story just to get others ideas or experiences.  Seems like I'm not the only one that has felt the way I feel when first joining a country club.


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#36 bazinky

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 08:49 AM

Having been a recent convert (less than four years) to private golf, I can offer a some advice.

1. Give it a little time. Unless you're a serious stick or a huge vanity cap (which the gamblers can sniff out a mile away), groups will not be clamouring for you to join. Play in all the events you can, especially those that  randomly pair you up with other members. It took me about a year to settle in and find a regular game.

2. Focus on the perks of private golf to appreciate the value of your membership (i.e., less crowded, great conditions, playing only a few holes when you have a spare hour ,etc ...).

3. Remember that not everyone is as rich as they appear. You would be surprised at the levels of debt some of your fellow members are in. Live your life and don't worry about how you might be judged on financial terms. I drive an older car myself, despite easily being able to afford a newer, nicer one. I'm just not a car guy. If somebody were to assess my financial situation from the car I drive, they would probably be surprised (Wife's car is a different matter, :D ).

Edited by bazinky, 04 October 2017 - 08:50 AM.

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#37 swizbeatz

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:06 AM

 jeffreydan32, on 04 October 2017 - 08:06 AM, said:

Thanks so much guys!  Some great advice that I had never thought of.  I will try to update you guys on how its going.

Play in events especially the random pairing ones.  We have an ABCD this Sunday that I will probably be the youngest in my group by 30 years but everyone is fun to play with.  And ask the shop to point you in the direction of other like minded people, ie prefer a couple bucks on the line or to walk.
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#38 Shifty76

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:11 AM

Many of the long time members at my club own oil and pipeline construction companies around town. They're absolutely loaded. Wouldn't necessarily know it to see them though. They're all really good guys too, drive F-150s, and are just happy to be out golfing and having a beer. I was super intimidated when I first met them, but after I just about took one of them out with a drive that went 40 yards longer than my normal drive and he laughed and high fived me for "hell of a shot man" I was much more relaxed around them.
It's the guys that want to be seen to be as rich as them that are the pretentious twats, driving the corvettes, porsches etc.
Your club pro will know who is who.

Just be yourself. Don't try to fit into any preconceived notion of who the members might want you to be.
Get to know members - joining in with any leagues they might have going is one of the best ways to do that.

Welcome to Golfwrx :)

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#39 jeffreydan32

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:12 AM

 BrianMcG, on 03 October 2017 - 08:03 PM, said:

You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout.

Your club probably has a choose up and that's the best way to meet other members..  Make a birdie or two and win your team some money and have a few beers with them after. In a couple of months you'll be surprised how many people you know and how not one of them even knows what kind of car you drive.

By the way, I drive a 1992 Accord with almost 300,000. I'm not like rich folks like you that can afford a mid 2000s Honda and join country clubs on a whim. LOL.

"You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout."

Wow...thanks for the encouragement.....lol

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#40 swizbeatz

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:22 AM

 jeffreydan32, on 04 October 2017 - 09:12 AM, said:

 BrianMcG, on 03 October 2017 - 08:03 PM, said:

You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout.

Your club probably has a choose up and that's the best way to meet other members..  Make a birdie or two and win your team some money and have a few beers with them after. In a couple of months you'll be surprised how many people you know and how not one of them even knows what kind of car you drive.

By the way, I drive a 1992 Accord with almost 300,000. I'm not like rich folks like you that can afford a mid 2000s Honda and join country clubs on a whim. LOL.

"You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout."

Wow...thanks for the encouragement.....lol


Gotta take the good advice with the bad!  Luckily this place will give you more good

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#41 grew

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:23 AM

I've actually found that relatively speaking country club golf is the great equalizer. Now hear me out as this is only a couple of isolated experiences so this is my OPINION and not fact.

OP, you joined a club and for that reason you are a member. 95% of all the other members see you as their equal. You are now all in the same boat

1) Playing golf and enjoying it
2) Seeing the continued success of the club.

Neither one of those has anything to do with what car you drive or what clubs are in your bag.
Everyone wants to play golf and pays $$$ to do so. Have fun and when you hear guys busting balls, do it back. Buy beers for people at the turn just all in all show people that you too enjoy playing golf and aren't a hot head or a hacker and you'll quickly gain acquaintances. Also I've found that most of the really rich guys are actually looking out for you. Most of them love helping people out (mostly for selfish reasons) but entertain them when they give you a pointer and circle back later on and tell them how much that helped. Its all about just establishing rapport with people.

To summarize
1) Don't be a hot head
2) Play smart (not necessarily good) golf
3) Joke around
4) Initially, Buy a round when you are playing with a group
5) If another member offers you a tip, listen and then later on tell them what a good idea it was

95% of Members are all in it together for the love of golf. Don't forget that.

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#42 Bushwood Country Club

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:25 AM

 jeffreydan32, on 04 October 2017 - 08:12 AM, said:

 Pepperturbo, on 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

Hope you turn it around.  Having been on the BOD of two clubs and on membership committees, your feelings in the matter are rather common with new members in private clubs.   Sounds like you jumped too quick, didn't conduct due diligence on the club's culture or review what your looking for in a club environment.  Country Clubs tend to be different than golf clubs with limited facilities.

Some clubs go to great lengths to help new members adjust, but most do little.  Board of Directors figure new members are adults and responsible for their choices.  You might be feeling "YOU" are being judged, but I seriously doubt that's the case.  If they note anything about you or any new member, its his game, how he carry's himself and does he get and make an effort to know others.  Good Luck.

Not really sure what "due diligence" I should have done or what kind of study I should have done on the "culture".  I joined to play golf but I was posting my story just to get others ideas or experiences.  Seems like I'm not the only one that has felt the way I feel when first joining a country club.
OP - Dont sweat it, your just got "pepperturbo'd" - Now your are REAL WRXer!!!  Cheers...
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#43 Bushwood Country Club

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:28 AM

 BrianMcG, on 03 October 2017 - 08:03 PM, said:

You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout.

Your club probably has a choose up and that's the best way to meet other members..  Make a birdie or two and win your team some money and have a few beers with them after. In a couple of months you'll be surprised how many people you know and how not one of them even knows what kind of car you drive.

By the way, I drive a 1992 Accord with almost 300,000. I'm not like rich folks like you that can afford a mid 2000s Honda and join country clubs on a whim. LOL.
DB much bro?  What a nice way to welcome someone to WRX.
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#44 Razorback84

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 09:59 AM

JefferyDan32-  I am a property owner at the "retirement community with the meanest old people ever"  and I agree with most of that statement lol, I don't live there, but bought a plot of land for the golfing privileges.  I'm just getting back into golf and shooting mid 90's on average at the moment.  I've been paired up with some jerks, but also with a couple of pretty cool guys as well.  Even if they get mad, don't let those guys be jerks to ya, they can't do anything to ya (talking about the Village not your CC).  The Village is actually aware of their reputation and are trying to change it by attracting a younger crowd (so I've been told), so anytime you want to hit up one of those courses, hit me up and I'll add ya as a guest and we can play a round together.  I'm in my low to mid 30's and all the guys I normal play with are in our 30's as well and have handicaps from single digits to 20's.

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#45 North Butte

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 10:43 AM

I know my experience is very limited but the four private clubs of which I've been a member over the years have all had standing "games" or "groups" on at least some days of the week, open to any member who cares to show up. Are you sure you don't have that sort of option? At most places the head professional knows who plays when and where you might fit in.

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#46 Shilgy

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 12:19 PM

 jeffreydan32, on 04 October 2017 - 09:12 AM, said:

 BrianMcG, on 03 October 2017 - 08:03 PM, said:

You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout.

Your club probably has a choose up and that's the best way to meet other members..  Make a birdie or two and win your team some money and have a few beers with them after. In a couple of months you'll be surprised how many people you know and how not one of them even knows what kind of car you drive.

By the way, I drive a 1992 Accord with almost 300,000. I'm not like rich folks like you that can afford a mid 2000s Honda and join country clubs on a whim. LOL.

"You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout."

Wow...thanks for the encouragement.....lol
He phrased it poorly but he is correct.  A few of us have said the same but more encouragingly. And more nicely  :(  His point was valid. No one cares what you drove up in. Go be a good golf partner and you will fit in just fine.

Edited by Shilgy, 04 October 2017 - 12:28 PM.

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#47 Pepperturbo

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 12:28 PM

 jeffreydan32, on 04 October 2017 - 08:12 AM, said:

 Pepperturbo, on 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

Hope you turn it around.  Having been on the BOD of two clubs and on membership committees, your feelings in the matter are rather common with new members in private clubs.   Sounds like you jumped too quick, didn't conduct due diligence on the club's culture or review what your looking for in a club environment.  Country Clubs tend to be different than golf clubs with limited facilities.

Some clubs go to great lengths to help new members adjust, but most do little.  Board of Directors figure new members are adults and responsible for their choices.  You might be feeling "YOU" are being judged, but I seriously doubt that's the case.  If they note anything about you or any new member, its his game, how he carry's himself and does he get and make an effort to know others.  Good Luck.

Not really sure what "due diligence" I should have done or what kind of study I should have done on the "culture".  I joined to play golf but I was posting my story just to get others ideas or experiences.  Seems like I'm not the only one that has felt the way I feel when first joining a country club.

Due diligence and joining private club means multiple visits and meetings with club leadership and play 18 with some members before plunking down money.  Ask about the clubs culture; every club has a culture.  Understanding the culture can help to determine if you can, after time, feel comfortable.  Some clubs are tournament oriented, others heavily social, some mixture and others have new member programs to help new members meet other members, etc.
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#48 jeffreydan32

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 12:36 PM

 Razorback84, on 04 October 2017 - 09:59 AM, said:

JefferyDan32-  I am a property owner at the "retirement community with the meanest old people ever"  and I agree with most of that statement lol, I don't live there, but bought a plot of land for the golfing privileges.  I'm just getting back into golf and shooting mid 90's on average at the moment.  I've been paired up with some jerks, but also with a couple of pretty cool guys as well.  Even if they get mad, don't let those guys be jerks to ya, they can't do anything to ya (talking about the Village not your CC).  The Village is actually aware of their reputation and are trying to change it by attracting a younger crowd (so I've been told), so anytime you want to hit up one of those courses, hit me up and I'll add ya as a guest and we can play a round together.  I'm in my low to mid 30's and all the guys I normal play with are in our 30's as well and have handicaps from single digits to 20's.

LOL...I was kind of hoping nobody would know I was talking about the village.  I've always been kind of out spoken with the village folks that act like a** hats.  I love the courses out there but all the stuff you have to go through just to play a round is a hassle sometimes.  I bought a lot out there 15 years ago and hate every time i pay the poa dues that I haven't been out there in so long.

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#49 Mulligan26

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 05:44 PM

Welp I read the whole thread. Ive been working at my facility for 6 years now (1st asst. Pro). OP use the pro staff, we know ALL of our members man, tell us what type of people you want to play with and we'll set you up with them.

Also as a car guy, I can tell you the vast majority of people don't know anything about the car they drive, nor do they care. They certainly dont care about what others drive.
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#50 EKELLY

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 06:45 PM

 Mulligan26, on 04 October 2017 - 05:44 PM, said:

Welp I read the whole thread. Ive been working at my facility for 6 years now (1st asst. Pro). OP use the pro staff, we know ALL of our members man, tell us what type of people you want to play with and we'll set you up with them.

Also as a car guy, I can tell you the vast majority of people don't know anything about the car they drive, nor do they care. They certainly dont care about what others drive.
Exactly. I figure if the pro knows my name, and the main bartender, I'm in. And they always do! Oh, and good tippers have some pull....LOL

Edited by EKELLY, 04 October 2017 - 06:47 PM.


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#51 PAgolfer85

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 10:11 PM

Under no circumstances should you ever feel intimidated by anyone at your club. You paid the price that they offered. Period.

Outside of that, don't worry whether you are "good" or "not". Golf is an immensely personal game between you and the course. When I play with others, I have no idea what they're shooting. I am only focused on me and my game and that includes my good buddies when I play with them. I literally don't know whether they shot 78 or 92. So don't worry about how you're playing. As long as you're not a slow player, nobody cares. People are only there to get away from their normal day to day lives and enjoy the game.

Per everyone else here:

1) Utilize your club pros. They want you to spend time their so you spend money and enjoy yourself. They are there to help.
2) Buy a round if people seem like good folks. Spending $20 on others goes a long long way.
3) Nobody cares what car you drive. Some Americans are obsessed with spending money on things they don't want to impress people they don't even like. Never, ever forget that. Live your life for you. Don't be one of those Americans.

Lastly, have fun. I played a round recently at a very exclusive, top ranked club and was talking to my caddy a lot as I was playing well and we were having a nice dialogue. He was a member at a nearby club and I'm a member at a club in a similar area. And he specifically asked me, "How long have you had the privilege to be a member there?" And I thought, wow, what a well phrased question. It is an absolute privilege to be a member at a club and you have every right to enjoy it like anyone else there.

Play well!

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#52 Soxfan21

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 06:56 AM

I was in the same position as you 2 years ago OP.  I am not wealthy by any means, but love the game of golf and try to play as much as I can.  I joined my club 2 years ago, and am very happy.  As many others have pointed out, most guys don't care how much you make, as long as you are fun to play with.  There will be those few guys that may look down on you for not having a BMW or a Benz, but who cares, you will have that at any club you join.  You are paying dues just like they are paying dues.  As many others have pointed out, talk to your pro, he/she would know who you would pair well with.  Also, I am assuming that your club has many social events.  I would attend those events, it is a great ice breaker to meet other members as well as their families.
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#53 deadsolid...shank

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 07:12 AM

I've posted this before, but oh well.

Clubs are like real estate. They always say have the cheapest house in the neighborhood. I figure I'm the "cheapest house" in our country club "neighborhood"!

Somebody has to be at the bottom of the totem pole!  But I get just as much enjoyment out of playing as the guys at the top.
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#54 hybrid25

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 07:29 AM

I'met an old friend I hadn't seen in 30 years at a private course Country Club. On the 19th hole our foursome  was having a beer and he overheard our conversation and joined in. Come to find out it was the friend I hadn't seen and half a lifetime. We used to bowl and play baseball together and were pretty good at both. He told us he was a member at 15 country clubs around the nation, and as a the salesman he was able to frequent these clubs. I sensed it was more for socializing then it was for golfing as he only played about four rounds at this particular Club as of late summer. I really appreciated  meeting up with him again because of the pleasant conversation that ensued and wished him well in his journeys. I conclude that a lot of people join private golf courses as much for the socializing as they do for the golf, although golf is very important to them as well. I can see that it might be a little difficult to get acclimated and fit into such a social atmosphere and can be a little intimidating at first I presume.

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#55 munihack

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:21 AM

The first year just sign up and play in everything, hang out at the bar after rounds. go to social events with your wife. by the end of the year you will have more people to play with than you know what to do with. also don't worry about money stuff at all. I don't have any clue what anyone drives at my club and could care less and everyone else is the same way. people are there to have fun and play golf so have fun and play golf.


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#56 North Butte

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:27 AM

This is borderline snarky, I guess but the only times I've ever felt "out of place" at my own club is on the rare occasions I stick around for dinner in the clubhouse dining room. I look around and keep waiting for someone to put on some oldies beach music and a shag dance session to start up.

My fellow members by and large are the groups of frat boys and sorority girls my lot used to laugh at as they showed up to college football games attired in identical jackets and dresses. I can't really say "now I'm one of them" because I'm not. I'd never know there was an "us" and "them" if I only saw them on the golf course.
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#57 md1m

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:35 AM

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

I am very comfortable and I drive an 03 pathfinder with 250k miles. So don't judge me if I drive up to your fancy country club :)  But I feel you. I play in a league now, and play with my son after his golf school every week, but for a long time it was very lonely golf-wise. Does the country club have a league? I thought that was one of the biggest selling points.
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#58 deadsolid...shank

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:35 AM

 North Butte, on 05 October 2017 - 08:27 AM, said:

This is borderline snarky, I guess but the only times I've ever felt "out of place" at my own club is on the rare occasions I stick around for dinner in the clubhouse dining room. I look around and keep waiting for someone to put on some oldies beach music and a shag dance session to start up.

My fellow members by and large are the groups of frat boys and sorority girls my lot used to laugh at as they showed up to college football games attired in identical jackets and dresses. I can't really say "now I'm one of them" because I'm not. I'd never know there was an "us" and "them" if I only saw them on the golf course.

I don't think I've been in our dining room (outside of our men's association fund raiser) in five or six years. I'm very much a bar and grill type guy.
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#59 deadsolid...shank

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:39 AM

 md1m, on 05 October 2017 - 08:35 AM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

I am very comfortable and I drive an 03 pathfinder with 250k miles. So don't judge me if I drive up to your fancy country club :)  But I feel you. I play in a league now, and play with my son after his golf school every week, but for a long time it was very lonely golf-wise. Does the country club have a league? I thought that was one of the biggest selling points.

I'm in the car business. But really don't care what I drive. Lately I've been driving our old beater car (09 Camry, 275,000 miles, not a square inch that isn't covered in hail or dents ((it's my car I use to run back and forth to Denver, I can leave it sit there for a week or two if I have to)). I usually tell the guys in the parking lot when I pull up that, "no, no matter how much they want it, I won't sell it to them".  Funny though, they've never asked me to drive it when we travel to play!��
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#60 North Butte

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:43 AM

 deadsolid...shank, on 05 October 2017 - 08:35 AM, said:

 North Butte, on 05 October 2017 - 08:27 AM, said:

This is borderline snarky, I guess but the only times I've ever felt "out of place" at my own club is on the rare occasions I stick around for dinner in the clubhouse dining room. I look around and keep waiting for someone to put on some oldies beach music and a shag dance session to start up.

My fellow members by and large are the groups of frat boys and sorority girls my lot used to laugh at as they showed up to college football games attired in identical jackets and dresses. I can't really say "now I'm one of them" because I'm not. I'd never know there was an "us" and "them" if I only saw them on the golf course.

I don't think I've been in our dining room (outside of our men's association fund raiser) in five or six years. I'm very much a bar and grill type guy.

Our country club has two overlapping groups of members. There are the golf addicts and the socializers. Large overlap between them, though. There's dozens of couples and families who both play golf and do the social stuff. I'm totally a golf addict (bordering on trunk slammer, if I'm honest).

It's been quite a while since I did the dining-room thing. I do recall the last time overhearing some of the cocktail-party-type chatter and realizing that for most of these folks, golf is literally the only thing in our lives that we share whatsoever.

Which is the point I'd like to make to our OP. It may or may not be true that the country club you joined has a lot of "not your people" in it. But don't make the mistake of thinking you won't fit in. You're only going to spend time around the folks who are as obsessed by golf as yourself and golf is a HUGE leveler. It is perfectly possible to be a happy member of a club and "fit in" without being interesting in cocktail party banter or ever being invited over to someone's house!

A sensible man will realize that the eyes may be confused in two ways---by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize the same thing happens to the soul.

--Plato

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