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Just joined a country club...feel out of place


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#1 jeffreydan32

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!


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#2 JerseyBoy

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:29 PM

I'm sorry you feel as you do for the investment you put in. Feeling out of place is no fun. Especially at that price tag.

Be yourself and go out to have fun. Make use of the course and don't get hung up on what others have or do. Enjoy life!

I can tell you, not all doctors and lawyers are upper echelon, nor can many afford a course with those fees. We are all just working stiffs trying to make our way in the world.

I hope I gave you some food for thought!

Edited by JerseyBoy, 03 October 2017 - 05:29 PM.


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#3 jeffreydan32

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:32 PM

 JerseyBoy, on 03 October 2017 - 05:29 PM, said:

I'm sorry you feel as you do for the investment you put in. Feeling out of place is no fun. Especially at that price tag.

Be yourself and go out to have fun. Make use of the course and don't get hung up on what others have or do. Enjoy life!

I can tell you, not all doctors and lawyers are upper echelon, nor can many afford a course with those fees. We are all just working stiffs trying to make our way in the world.

I hope I gave you some food for thought!

Thanks man!  I really appreciate it.

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#4 Bushwood Country Club

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:33 PM

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum
I've been right there with you... a few tips: (1) post your scores and establish a GHIN index(let's you determine your handicap) ,  (2) call the pro shop and ask them if there are any open groups they will put you in. Those guys will work hard to be sure you are enjoying the club (3) keep working on your game.  When you are playing golf, the only measure is your score / forget about the snobs.  Pretty soon, you'll get to know some folks and they won't seem as different as they do now.  Good luck..and enjoy ypur membership.

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#5 jeffreydan32

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:37 PM

 Bushwood Country Club, on 03 October 2017 - 05:33 PM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum
I've been right there with you... a few tips: (1) post your scores and establish a GHIN index(let's you determine your handicap) ,  (2) call the pro shop and ask them if there are any open groups they will put you in. Those guys will work hard to be sure you are enjoying the club (3) keep working on your game.  When you are playing golf, the only measure is your score / forget about the snobs.  Pretty soon, you'll get to know some folks and they won't seem as different as they do now.  Good luck..and enjoy ypur membership.

Thank you...I've been wondering about asking about playing with someone but just haven't had the courage yet.


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#6 Bushwood Country Club

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:39 PM

Go talk to the guys in the Pro shop and tell them tour dilemma. I can guarantee you they will help you out.
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#7 Medic

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:49 PM

I can relate OP.

Never an easy feeling when you enter a new place where everyone else seems to know each other and you find yourself as odd man out. As the saying goes "been there and done that".

Some simple advice for you going forward:

1. Be yourself. It's gotten you this far - no sense in trying to change who you are in order to adapt to what you perceive might be the expectations of others.

2. Have fun - and keep it fun for others. Avoid doing things that would obviously irritate just about anyone. Slow play (excessively), profanity, throwing clubs, abusing club equipment, failing to take care of the course as you play it, and being loud/obnoxious all come to mind.

3. Ask the pro shop for suggestions of groups looking for new members to go out with them.

4. Don't be afraid to play your game. If you can shoot even par don't hold back to prevent hurt feelioma.

5. Finally, never forget where you came from in order to get where you are now. Life is a journey. Knowing where you are on the map of life now and realizing what it took to get you there will help you in getting to your destination.

Hope this helps. Enjoy your membership! It's a blessing and a perk. Don't ever forget that!!!

Oh, and welcome to the board. : )
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#8 sheldonjhacker

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 05:50 PM

The snobs are way too self-absorbed to judge or even think about you.  Be yourself and have fun with your golf... and you'll find some great people there.  

Every club has jerks-don't let them bring you down.  My golf club is NOT my social life...never wanted it to be.  I golf, have fun, and then get the hell out of there.

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#9 MountainGoat

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 06:21 PM

Sign up for some lessons with the head pro (not one of his assistants).  He'll plug you in.

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#10 Pepperturbo

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

Hope you turn it around.  Having been on the BOD of two clubs and on membership committees, your feelings in the matter are rather common with new members in private clubs.   Sounds like you jumped too quick, didn't conduct due diligence on the club's culture or review what your looking for in a club environment.  Country Clubs tend to be different than golf clubs with limited facilities.

Some clubs go to great lengths to help new members adjust, but most do little.  Board of Directors figure new members are adults and responsible for their choices.  You might be feeling "YOU" are being judged, but I seriously doubt that's the case.  If they note anything about you or any new member, its his game, how he carry's himself and does he get and make an effort to know others.  Good Luck.

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#11 EKELLY

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM

The club I play at in Tampa has some old snobbers, just like the PC I grew up at in NY. Don't worry about those guys. You'll find a group. The key is be around the club, the bar (if you chose), and interact........Give it a year or so....I'm on #3 in Tampa....They all have their little ups/downs.....

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#12 sheldonjhacker

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 06:31 PM

 Pepperturbo, on 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

Hope you turn it around.  Having been on the BOD of two clubs and on membership committees, your feelings in the matter are rather common with new members in private clubs.   Sounds like you jumped too quick, didn't conduct due diligence on the club's culture or review what your looking for in a club environment.  Country Clubs tend to be different than golf clubs with limited facilities.

Some clubs go to great lengths to help new members adjust, but most do little.  Board of Directors figure new members are adults and responsible for their choices.  You might be feeling "YOU" are being judged, but I seriously doubt that's the case.  If they note anything about you or any new member, its his game, how he carry's himself and does he get and make an effort to know others.  Good Luck.

Wow.  I'm sure the OP did his due diligence, behaves like a responsible adult, and carrys himself extremely well.  Most of the BOD's and people on "membership committees" are the most snobby and ridiculous people I have had the unfortunate "luck" to know.

Edited by sheldonjhacker, 03 October 2017 - 06:34 PM.


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#13 Honcho72

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:10 PM

Get your handicap and play in a tournament or an afternoon dogfight. You should meet some folks and hopefully a few friends.

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#14 Rusty1885

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:11 PM

You are just new, that’s all. Soon you’ll feel right at home. When I joined mine I felt a little weird at first but I realized I’m paying for my due not any of them.  First few weeks I played with some then I settled in to the rhythm of the club where many either play with their regular group or by themselves.  Let’s face it most of the time you’ll be playing by yourself and better find them way to keep it fresh.

I would be willing to bet the way they look at you was probably envious, look at him all excited about playing this course :). I know I’ve given that look to a newbie before.
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#15 Conrad1953

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:13 PM

Welcome to WRX Jeffrey. I've never belonged to a private club so can't help
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#16 Pepperturbo

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:20 PM

 sheldonjhacker, on 03 October 2017 - 06:31 PM, said:

 Pepperturbo, on 03 October 2017 - 06:23 PM, said:

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

Hope you turn it around.  Having been on the BOD of two clubs and on membership committees, your feelings in the matter are rather common with new members in private clubs.   Sounds like you jumped too quick, didn't conduct due diligence on the club's culture or review what your looking for in a club environment.  Country Clubs tend to be different than golf clubs with limited facilities.

Some clubs go to great lengths to help new members adjust, but most do little.  Board of Directors figure new members are adults and responsible for their choices.  You might be feeling "YOU" are being judged, but I seriously doubt that's the case.  If they note anything about you or any new member, its his game, how he carry's himself and does he get and make an effort to know others.  Good Luck.

Wow.  I'm sure the OP did his due diligence, behaves like a responsible adult, and carrys himself extremely well.  Most of the BOD's and people on "membership committees" are the most snobby and ridiculous people I have had the unfortunate "luck" to know.

Your predisposition is showing... :lol:  Good chance they felt the same about you.

Edited by Pepperturbo, 03 October 2017 - 07:21 PM.

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#17 Shilgy

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:20 PM

Wow, that turned quickly lol. OP never said anyone was a snob. He's just afraid they are judging him but he never said anyone did anything wrong.
  OP I was in the same boat about 30 years ago. Joined a club knowing no one. The thing to remember is social status does not matter on the golf course. Most have joined because they love the same game you do. So go out and play with others when possible and just be a good guy to play with. In time you'll realize they are mostly good guys who love golf.
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#18 Phreddy

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:32 PM

Do you see a theme?  Just as others have said the pro is your friend.  Take a lesson or two, it can't hurt your game, and it allows him to get a sense of your personality.  It will help him in pairing you up with others and in recommending you to others looking to fill out a group.

Our club uses a software called "Foretees" to allow members to book on line.  I play most of my rounds after work in the late afternoon.  When I was a newbie at my club I would call the pro shop and say "I see Mr. Jones is booked by himself at 4. Do you think he would mind playing with a XX handicap?"  I've made some good friends this way and been introduced to other players.  The pro shop has also steered me clear of a couple guys.  "Yeah, Mr. Jones is a nice guy but he plays SO SLOW it is hard for him to find partners."

Good Luck!

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Edited by Phreddy, 03 October 2017 - 07:34 PM.


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#19 HackerDave

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:46 PM

 jeffreydan32, on 03 October 2017 - 05:23 PM, said:

So i'm new here and this forum is great!  This may be a long story but hopefully its a good read on a day your bored with nothing else to do.

I started playing golf around the mid 90's and I was terrible.  I mean shanks, duffs, swinging and missing the ball, you name it and I was doing it.  I played with guys from my job and they weren't much better except for one dude.  I was the new guy at the job so I really didn't know anybody but the guys that played golf begged me to go play.  The one dude that was pretty good has been my best friend now for over 20 years.  He would always shoot in the 80's and I was so jealous.  He tried to help me but I was a lost cause.  I quit playing after about two years because I was so bad.  For some reason I got the bug again and went and took some lessons.  My quest has always been to break 90 and I have done it a handful of times the last 10 years.

I live in the south in a small town, population around 35k.  There are a few places to play golf but its usually at least a half hour drive(I know for you big city folks that ain't nothing but for us that's a long drive...lol).  One course I was playing was loaded with trees and the fairways are very narrow.  That course kicked my butt on the regular.  The other course, or courses I should say, is in a retirement community with some of the meanest old retired folks you have ever seen running the courses.  The course marshals are like prison guards and don't you dare be less than 20 minutes early to your tee time.  Then if that's not enough you get paired up with people who are mad at the world or take so so long to play.

A few months ago I bit the bullet and joined my local country club.  They had a special on the joining fee which I was told over the phone would be 750.00.  Of course just my luck I got the new lady on the phone and she was looking at the tennis membership.  I was so pumped about being able to join for 750.00 that I couldn't walk away even though the real joining fee was 1500.00(what in the world am I going to tell my wife).  I had inquired years ago and the joining fee was 3500.00 so I still felt like I was getting a deal.  Needless to say I just laid down and paid the 1500.00 without any haggle(man I'm soft).  I was told the monthly fee was 348.00 so instantly I started to try and justify spending that a month to play golf and surely that was just as cheap as playing at the other places....man I got issues!

Mind you I'm just a regular guy that works hard every day and makes a decent living.  I'm not running with doctors, lawyers or the upper echelon of our community.  This country club is filled with most of the richest people in our little town.  I know its probably just me, to an extent, but man do I feel like these people are judging me every time I go out there.  I play by myself because my best friend has too many kids to be spending money at the country club and I don't know any of the other members.  Let me be more truthful....I also like playing by myself because I get embarrassed when I hit that duck hook or rug burner.  Anyway.....its tough when you feel out of place.  It seems to play with my mind some days.  Some people are nice but some won't speak when I say hello.  They see me pull up in my 06 Honda and turn their nose up.  Its all good though because Saturday I will be right back out there trying to bust 90.  I shot 82 last weekend so I'm on my way to being a consistent hacker.

God bless you guys and thanks for letting me join this forum!

I have been where you are now.  First things first.  Nobody is judging you.  Yep, there will be a LOT of people with more money than you. So what?  Good for them.   This is for fun. Its not your job and you are paying dues just like they are.  Relax and enjoy it.  

Job one is make friends with the starter and the pro.  They will introduce you to people you will get along with and find you games that you will enjoy.  Job 2 is participate in club tourneys and leagues.  This is where you will meet the members.  Some you will love, some not so much.  You will find people who enjoy your company and who's company you enjoy.  Give it some time.  It won't happen overnight.

For example, our club has no tee times on Saturday morning.  You show up and get in with a "group".  There are probably two or three groups that have a game on sat mornings. The starter will tell you about each group and probably make a recommendation on which is the best fit for you.  One might be a money game, the other might be more relaxed etc.  Talk to the starter and the pro.  They will know and its their job to help you find your place.

Edited by HackerDave, 03 October 2017 - 07:54 PM.


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#20 Man_O_War

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 07:55 PM

if it makes you feel better...i have been invited to play at Congressional on thursday... and feel like i need to go rent a porsche to look normal out there...

i love playing my muni..big belly folks with no care in the world...country club peeps are cool too..just look at you funny or you feel they do lol..most of the time...honestly nothing as intimidating for a guy who likes to think highly of himself amongst people who spend your annual salary in annual vacations lol..but...it's all good...just play golf...don't be a loner out there..find some new member to hang with...or quit..not fun

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#21 BrianMcG

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 08:03 PM

You sound like those out of shape women that say they don't like going to gyms because everyone is looking at them. When in reality nobody gives hoot and is more worried about their own workout.

Your club probably has a choose up and that's the best way to meet other members..  Make a birdie or two and win your team some money and have a few beers with them after. In a couple of months you'll be surprised how many people you know and how not one of them even knows what kind of car you drive.

By the way, I drive a 1992 Accord with almost 300,000. I'm not like rich folks like you that can afford a mid 2000s Honda and join country clubs on a whim. LOL.

Edited by BrianMcG, 03 October 2017 - 08:10 PM.


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#22 Jwin323

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 08:07 PM

View PostBushwood Country Club, on 03 October 2017 - 05:39 PM, said:

Go talk to the guys in the Pro shop and tell them tour dilemma. I can guarantee you they will help you out.

I agree with this advice 100%. I did the same thing and joined a men's club cold, not knowing anyone. Pretty soon, you'll find who you fit in with. The club pros will help. Get a handicap, enter some of the tournaments and take their money. Then they can't ignore you.

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#23 chilllwave

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 08:10 PM

I get what you're saying as I just joined a club at the end of August. I also enjoy playing alone and go to the club with the intent of doing so, multiple times per week. I enjoy it because it's quicker and I like to practice some shots while I'm out there. That being said, I told my self that during my first month of membership I wouldn't turn down any invites to play with others. Thus far, I've met nothing but awesome people. Many of them are older and more succesful than myself but we"re there to play golf and that's truly the mindset at my club.
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#24 jdmorris1980

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 08:27 PM

Does your club have a menís golf association? That is a good way to not only meet some people, but often times these are the guys who want to and love to play golf. Country clubs are a mix of all types of people from all walks of life and are members for many types of reasons (golf, tennis, swimming, social, status). You want to find the golfers. Inquire in the pro shop about the MGA or leagues and youíll find your place and a group of guys who care about golf.

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#25 fawley

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 08:29 PM

I was in the same situation when I joined my club. I knew no one there, and I hadnít been a member of a private club before, so I felt a little nervous and unsure of how things worked.

When I joined, I showed up early weekend mornings and let the pros and the starter know I was looking for a game. Whenever I met someone at the club, I got their number and followed up with them to set up a game. If someone was nice enough to ask me to play, I never turned them down. I played in every tournament I could. If my wife met one of the other ladies at the club, she usually asked if their husband played and let them know I was always looking for a game. We went to as many club social events as we could and got my kids involved in the junior activities.

A year later, I had probably 15 guys that I played with regularly, and another 50 or so that Iíd played with at some point and know well enough that I could hit them up for a game if I was looking for one.

It was also helpful that we have an awesome and inclusive membership at my club. People go out of their way to make new members feel welcome. Our parking lot has everything from beat up pick up trucks to Ferraris and Lamborghinis, but youíd never know who owned what from talking to them.

Put yourself out there and give people a chance to get to know you. I bet youíll start to feel a lot more comfortable there very quickly.


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#26 AThompson_3

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 09:21 PM

The best thing you can do is go to the clubhouse and make friends. I'm sure you will find that not everyone that plays is better than you. But the reason I said to make friends is so you can get invited to play in some of the games on the weekends. Every Saturday and Sunday there are 2-3 pretty decent sized side games. But don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Be honest about who you are though and people will respect you a lot more. Be proud of your 06 Honda and let other people know you are proud of your 06 Honda if they say anything about it. Don't be a stiff and always bail out on playing in the games, but also don't get in games where you're going to be really upset with yourself if you lose because you forked over more money than what you can comfortably lose. Joining a club isn't for everyone. Not everyone wants to put themselves out there. But if you do you'll start to feel like you are getting the most out of your investment.
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#27 Chomper

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 09:40 PM

Lots of good advice in here.
I joined my club three years ago - didn't know a soul. I tried to play in every men's event I could during my first six months.
I now know and play with at least half the membership.
Only advice I will give is this - be a fun partner and a courteous golfer.

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#28 hef63303

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 09:47 PM

One of the issues that country clubs need to overcome. Someone at the club should be looking out for new members before they become ex-members . Very few clubs can afford to let a member walk away. Boards need to form a group that helps initiate new members into the club, including helping them find a game to play in and making them feel included and welcome. Having recently moved to a new town, I know how daunting this can be.

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#29 KBong

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Posted 03 October 2017 - 11:06 PM

OP
Go talk with the head or asst pro....they'll be able to set you up with some members to play with.
No one really cares how well you play...what really matters is that you can play with a good pace, have good etiquette, polite and have a sense of humor.

Don't worry about what others may think.

I have two doctor friends who drive Honda's...they are down to earth and really nice...they couldn't give a cr*p what others think about what car they drive...they know they are successful at their careers and that's all that matters to them.

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#30 compton1977

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Posted 04 October 2017 - 06:11 AM

When I first joined my club I had images of playing on my own a lot but enjoying a nice golf course. 5 years down the line I had 15 members and their partners at my wedding, 3 golf trips a year and two stag do's of other members lined up for 2018. My club had a large range of members from barristers, hedge fund managers to carpet fitters and taxi drivers. No one cares. We get on the tee and we're golfers. One might drive off in a Ferrari California and the other a Peugeot van but no one cares. It's my findings that the supposed upper echelons are some of th most fun to play with it's the middling ones who are the most snobby. Not tolerated at my club, or you can be like that but struggle for a game. It's all about getting out there and meeting folk. Play in the weekly roll ups, get your name down for all comps, you become integrated very quickly like that and it becomes like a home from home.


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