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Any funny stories about a pseudo-long hitter?


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#1 Jackal

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 08:52 AM

We played in a  scramble  one time with a not-so-long hitter.
He didn't  know us.
He told me and my buddy to hit and then the two of them would kill a drive.
I hit a 270???? yard drive. My buddy crushed a 310 drive.
Then, these 2 guys killed it.
The talker hit a 245 down the middle, and his friend sliced a 250 yard one into the woods.
Ours was in good  shape,  but he wanted to play his.
Even his friend agreed to play the 310 drive.
We did this all day.
It would have been  aggravating, but his friend always agreed  with us.

Tell us some of your crazy  stories.

Edited by Jackal, 19 September 2017 - 08:52 AM.


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#2 fillwelix

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 10:14 AM

Played with someone who kept being flabbergasted that I was outdriving him, he hit it *maybe* 240 on a big hit, with a huge slice. Props to him, it was consistent and he aimed left enough for him to be in play almost every hole, but he kept saying I must be getting great bounces or something like that. Just could not accept that he wasn't a long hitter.
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#3 fillwelix

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 10:23 AM

Also played with someone who kept telling me about how well he was hitting in the store, carrying 300, etc. and couldn't reliably get the ball airborne. Does anyone know what brings people to brag when they're about to play and show you how bad they are?
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#4 Pigems

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 10:25 AM

This should be a good thread, I'm in :)
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#5 HatsForBats

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 10:27 AM

I plead the Fif. Used to be longer, now not so much. Frustrating and sometimes I can appear delusional to guys that can still move the ball. Give me a downhill, downwind short par 4 and I can fake it though.

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#6 Mignuz

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 11:00 AM

I'm a "long hitter" for the average golf player but obviously a "not so long Hitter" for a good player.
So, in an italian golf forum there was this newbie - maybe 50years old - claiming he was soooo long...being 36 handicap.
I expressed my doubts about that, so he said he could beat me when he wanted.
So we organized a forum golf tournament and both me and him partecipated...so the other guys organized a driving contest in the range.
I felt so embarassed for him...first drive, he skulled the ball and made maybe 50 yards, so I shot a putter(!) to beat him :) ...but a "good drive" was maybe 200 yards.
Even if my drives were something like 80 yards longer, he kept saying he was longer.

Edited by Mignuz, 19 September 2017 - 11:01 AM.


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#7 Petunia Sprinkle

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 11:10 AM

I played in a scramble with a bunch of guys I didn't know. They were even worse and kept yacking about how long I was hitting it. I started getting hypnotized by my new found fame until I got so drunk, I whiffed a drive on a par5, taking a divot out of the tee box. That, pretty much, was the end of that.

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#8 kozubs

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 12:00 PM

Played in my first scramble with a new company I just started with. We had two groups. We get to a 290 yard par four. The other 3 hit but I waited for the Green to clear. The others in the group tell me to hit. I didn't expect to but landed on the front of the Green and rolled to the middle.  I went up to apologize not realizing that my new boss was in the group on the green.  He said "that was and awesome shot.  Next time your in my group".

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#9 fillwelix

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 12:10 PM

View Postkozubs, on 19 September 2017 - 12:00 PM, said:

Played in my first scramble with a new company I just started with. We had two groups. We get to a 290 yard par four. The other 3 hit but I waited for the Green to clear. The others in the group tell me to hit. I didn't expect to but landed on the front of the Green and rolled to the middle.  I went up to apologize not realizing that my new boss was in the group on the green.  He said "that was and awesome shot.  Next time your in my group".
Happened to me once, though not a company scramble. Get to the 17th at Hendricks Field in north Jersey (if you know it). It's about 280 or so par 4, and there was an employee there for whatever reason while I was waiting for the green to clear. He told me to play and I rolled up the front neck onto the green, he told me I didn't have to listen to him anymore
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#10 JMJM0213

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 12:46 PM

I'd like to give a shout-out to the (very nice) twosome I was hooked up with a few weeks ago who insisted on playing from the blue tees despite warnings from the starter. I gave them my usual "I'll be happy if I can break 90 today, so I'm playing from the whites" line, to which one of them responded "I need to play from the back because I get in bad position with my second shot...bla bla bla." OK, fine. Considering the shortest Par-4 is 350 yards, he must be a serious player.

Of course, on the first hole he hits a fat drive which goes about 30 yards into some thick rough. He needs 2 more shots, with his driver, to hack it out of the rough.Gives up after missing a putt after 11 strokes on a par-5, and his buddy fares little better. Neither of them hit a fairway or green from the tee over 9 holes, when they had the good sense leave the course.

I can't believe how people are so unaware of their own abilities. I know that on any given day, I can break 80, though it's MUCH more likely that I'll shoot 92. I've hit my share of 300+ yd drives, but more than likely, it's not getting much past 260 on a good hit. Again, these were two very nice people, but they just didn't seem aware of so many things. It can be a challenge for me to ignore that and keep my head in my own game.

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#11 wkuo3

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 01:28 PM

We have this link style golf course and it always played LONG in the Winter , being at almost sea level in elevation and damp and muddy with prevailing Southerly wind.
Anyways, from the tip it played almost to 7,000 yds.  Even the longer hitters will play from the blue tee in the Winter (6,600 yards).  Anyways, we have several high tech company in the neighborhood and often have visiting golfers from conference and meetings to put a round of golf into their schedule.

One Winter in November, met this guy claiming he's visiting from Chicago , had a local conference here all week.  On the first tee he looked at the score card and proceeded to stand on the black tee box ( tip ).  I  asked if he wants to join the other twosome to the blue tee or the white tee.
He took a look at me and the score card and said " I'm a good golfer, you know !"
I tried to explain the condition being wet and soggy, in the mid 50° F with windy condition would present a different golf course than shown on the score card, but, he kind of set his mind on teeing off from the tip.  So I said, okay and I'll keep you company and play from the tip.

First tee, he duff the tee shot and it did not roll far from the forward tee box........ chunked the second shot and did not get on the green with his 3rd.... so I thought maybe because the jet lag or lack of warming up ...I pretend that I paid no attention.  Second hole a par 5, and he hit a good sounding drive, the tee ball went less than 200 yards with very little rolling out,  Again he made it to the green in par stroke and two putted for double bogey.
On the 3rd, I told him I was going to play from the blue tee ( moving up one tee box ) and he did not argue...... rest of the round I tried to make him more comfortable by small talking.  
I guess the golf balls travel much farther in Chicago than Redmond.

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#12 Yuck

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 01:39 PM

I have seen a legit 125 MPH swing on a hacker.  He could carry it 325 plus if he hit it on the planet, which was twice in a round.  Lots of lost balls.  Someone said he must average 320 yards.  Using math, and adding all 14 drives and dividing by 14 his average was more like 220 yards.  (Trees, Hazards and OB's can hurt your average)

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#13 mackepa

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 01:45 PM

I play a lot of golf with a bunch of retired guys that have absolutely no clue how far the golf ball flies. I'm what I'd call a moderately long hitter. I certainly don't crush the ball but I'm no shortknocker either but when I get a hold of one these guys think my 285 yard drive carried darn near 400 yards. It's comical.

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#14 EvanScottKing

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 02:15 PM

Agree that it seems a lot of people have no idea how far they actually hit...

I was playing a cheap skins game with a couple guys from my office one morning before a work event and the course we were playing on opens with a par 5.  The back tees physical yardage is just over 6000 yards, but with some of the wind that you can get around the course and soft fairways it can easily play much longer and is recommended for 0-8 handicaps.  I ask the guys I'm with what tees they want to play and one guy is adamant about playing the tips - now we've all gone to the range a couple times and while I'll be the first to admit that I'm not long off the tee I still have a decent idea of how to get around the course and score, but I know our little threesome has no business playing from the back and this guy is fooling himself but not having any of it.  So, we end up playing from the tips.  I tee off first and play a solid drive down the left-center of the fairway.  Mr. Adamant steps up and slices one into the dewy, damp, right rough.  Third guy pull hooks his driver into the massive tree left guarding the adjacent fairway.  We start walking out and it's clear the third guy is in for a long day as he hacks out for his second so he can at least get a club on the ball and the guy who demanded we play from the backs pops a fairway wood to level with my tee shot up the right hand side.  As we reach my tee shot, the one guy looks at me and says "You must have hit that close to 300 yards!" then muttered something about a bounce off a sprinkler cap.  I proceed to laser the flag, look at the scorecard, then at him and reply "250 left on a 520 yard hole? definitely not 300, but about what I expected."  I covered the cost of my round and lost two friends in the office that day.

Another experience from the scramble I was part of for a friend's wedding.  Our group was the groom, another of his lacrosse buddies, myself and his cousin who works as an assistant pro at a course in the north SF Bay and is a legit +2 handicap. Yes, our group was stacked to try to smoke the father-in-laws foursome with a pretty low total handicap, but that's what you're supposed to do in these things right?  Besides, father-in-law was playing for blood too.  Anyway, we start out and the assistant pro/grooms's cousin can bomb it consistently and he's putting some of the "longest drive" competition markers on the par 5's out there deep.  Crude math was close to 320 yards on his longest hit of the day.  We turn in a decent scramble round and as other groups start trickling in they ask if the drives were legit or if we were cheating and markers were placed there just to try and win.  Enough questions come through that we end up going out to the tee on the par-4 first again and have this guy hit one more drive just to put the doubt to rest and he hits this smooth high draw that carries the tree line on the slight dog-leg right and bounces up a few yards short of the left edge of the green.  He got more than a couple free drinks back at the bar for making guys eat crow.

I've played with a couple guys from the forums and know that there absolutely are some amateur players that can hit it it 340 yards with a club head speed around 120mph, but they're few and far between in my experience.  The faces you see when someone in the group you're paired with who claims to be a long-hitter actually plays with someone who is a long hitter is priceless.
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#15 UofU02

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 03:00 PM

View PostYuck, on 19 September 2017 - 01:39 PM, said:

I have seen a legit 125 MPH swing on a hacker.  He could carry it 325 plus if he hit it on the planet, which was twice in a round.  Lots of lost balls.  Someone said he must average 320 yards.  Using math, and adding all 14 drives and dividing by 14 his average was more like 220 yards.  (Trees, Hazards and OB's can hurt your average)

I played with a guy like this in a scramble a few weeks back.  Flat out crushed the ball but it was like that kid from the Mighty Ducks movie, 1 out of 5.  He must have went through an easy dozen balls that day but he did drive 2 par 4s.

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#16 lawsonman

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 03:12 PM

My claim to fame is the fact I've always been the shortest driver of the golf ball in any scramble I've ever played in for 30 years. But we've used my ball a lot. 😁
I have a excellent short game. It's unfortunate that it starts on the Tee.

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#17 KC13

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 05:25 PM

So I am on the first tee with this guy.  I give him the driver.  He hauls off and wacks one - big hitter, long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier.  Do you know what he says? Gunga Galunga...Gunga Galunga
To golf or not to golf???  What a stupid question...

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#18 BottleCap

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 06:05 PM

I don't have anything like that, but I was playing with my older cousin, he carries it 300 easy, while i'm 270 on a good driving day. The whole round I would act amazed and tell him "OMG i think you hit that 280 yards". He was pissed and kept hitting it longer, i think he carried one 320, that i gave him credit for 290.
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#19 Qqq123xx

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 06:17 PM

Once I played with Dudley Do Right, UnderDog, and Mr. Ed. And I have no idea where to start.
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#20 mark174ace

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 09:37 PM

View PostJackal, on 19 September 2017 - 08:52 AM, said:

We played in a  scramble  one time with a not-so-long hitter.
He didn't  know us.
He told me and my buddy to hit and then the two of them would kill a drive.
I hit a 270???? yard drive. My buddy crushed a 310 drive.
Then, these 2 guys killed it.
The talker hit a 245 down the middle, and his friend sliced a 250 yard one into the woods.
Ours was in good  shape,  but he wanted to play his.
Even his friend agreed to play the 310 drive.
We did this all day.
It would have been  aggravating, but his friend always agreed  with us.

Tell us some of your crazy  stories.

I loved this story. It never ceases to amaze me the out of control egos on a golf course. No other sport or pass time can come close when it comes to delusional jackasses. That is why I do not play in scrambles or with co-workers. I just do not need the aggravation of dealing with the alpha male jack-off in the group.

The one generic story I can tell you is that I have gone on vacation to Vegas many times and always bring the clubs. I cannot tell you how many times on the first tee the guys I get paired up with announce they are going to play from the back tees. Then I say I am going to play from the next tees up and all of a sudden they change their minds and join me. For whatever reason that happens a lot to me in Vegas and it never stops being funny.

Golf is such an incredible study of the human ego. I am starting to think I am an outlier by just trying to enjoy myself.I want to play from a tee that will allow me to play well without every par 4 being driver & rescue club to reach the green.


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#21 @_the_crook

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 10:15 PM

View Postmark174ace, on 19 September 2017 - 09:37 PM, said:


Golf is such an incredible study of the human ego. I am starting to think I am an outlier by just trying to enjoy myself.I want to play from a tee that will allow me to play well without every par 4 being driver & rescue club to reach the green.

So true.
For the past few rounds, I have moved up a tee box and have been hitting three wood - whatever, to reach green.
My partner commented that my game looked more controlled and then realized what changed.
He loves to hit from the tips and at times his second shot comes over from a parallel fairway.

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#22 Rusty1885

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 10:44 PM

Played with 2 yappers, I hit avg drive about 250-265, my friend's drive carry over 300. The two guys hit their drives well short of mine and announced that they were hitting about 275, I got a fish hook on yanking on my eyebrow when I heard the comment. Their drives were somewhere around 220 total high fade.  They kept giving each other high five about their long drives as well as compliments on our drives.  On the par 5 6th hole my friend decided to put it to rest and ripped a 2i next to my drive, they were shocked and kept saying he hit an iron 300 hundred yard. My friend said not even close, it's probably about 240-250.  Their drives were about 50 yards short of ours.

Sometimes I just don't know how a 10-12 handicappers can't tell the distance. Especially the key distance like driver and wedges.
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#23 mark174ace

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Posted 19 September 2017 - 11:53 PM

View Post@_the_crook, on 19 September 2017 - 10:15 PM, said:

View Postmark174ace, on 19 September 2017 - 09:37 PM, said:

Golf is such an incredible study of the human ego. I am starting to think I am an outlier by just trying to enjoy myself.I want to play from a tee that will allow me to play well without every par 4 being driver & rescue club to reach the green.

So true.
For the past few rounds, I have moved up a tee box and have been hitting three wood - whatever, to reach green.
My partner commented that my game looked more controlled and then realized what changed.
He loves to hit from the tips and at times his second shot comes over from a parallel fairway.

This is a product of the grip it and rip it culture of the tour and equipment companies. Golf in the average players mind has now become about might equals right. If I shoot 77 from 6400 yards and the other guy shoots 92 from 7000 yards he is the better player because his drives went 50 yards further regardless of what zip code they landed in.

If I am paired up with one of these geniuses they can talk all the crap they want to, but if they start seeking my affirmation on their nonsense I will say something. I do not want to spend the rest of the round being someones self-esteem binky. I will try to be subtle and polite about it but I will say something that gets the point across that I am not going to acknowledge their nonsense.

I think the average driving distance on tour is something in the neighborhood of 290 yards. That by itself proves that most people who say they hit their drives 270 are completely full of it. There is no way that many weekend warriors are only 20 yards under the tour average. I do not need any charts or graphs to back that up. I know what I hear out of their mouths and how far they actually are from the green. :taunt:

Just think how much worse it will get if the delusional millennials start playing more golf. Their drives will average 350 yards and they will all be scratch golfers even though they have played less than 50 rounds in their life lol.

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#24 EvanScottKing

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Posted 20 September 2017 - 12:23 AM

View Postmark174ace, on 19 September 2017 - 11:53 PM, said:


Just think how much worse it will get if the delusional millennials start playing more golf. Their drives will average 350 yards and they will all be scratch golfers even though they have played less than 50 rounds in their life lol.

There definitely are some out there.  The same scramble round I mentioned above had some of the younger guys who go out a few times a year for a round with the boys getting their tails whipped by fellas twice their age who actually know how to swing a club rather than take a baseball whack at it.  The trash talking ended quick.  And not all of us are that bad... I'm 25 seemingly going on 66 and like to come back from my afternoon rounds and enjoy a dram a scotch or two with a book before turning out the lights at 9:00.
Bag is comprised of Callaway & Edel.  WITB

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#25 Jackal

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Posted 20 September 2017 - 07:54 AM

One thing I like  about  our regular  course is the tee markers. At the back of  the tee box on every hole   is a marker.
It is a giant "Tombstone".
This has the name of  a local business that sponsored and donated money to help  build that particular  hole when the course was new.
On the long holes, I always step the yards from the (Tombstone) to the white tees.
I make a light mark of  the  yardage on the scorecard.
When we hit a drive, or anyone in our group. I can go to the ball, take my laser/rangefinder and shoot the tombstone and tell you pretty close to what you drove.
If someone looks at the  scorecard and says "450 yard hole, and I'm  100 out. That means 350 yards drive!".
I can say "Nope!  It measures 292".
Those scorecards are just to write  scores on.


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#26 Yuck

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Posted 20 September 2017 - 08:06 AM

Golf GPS measurements put an end to any delusion on actual distance.   It is still fun to measure a drive that hit a cart path and then a downslope.

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#27 nitram

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Posted 20 September 2017 - 08:22 AM

View PostQqq123xx, on 19 September 2017 - 06:17 PM, said:

Once I played with Dudley Do Right, UnderDog, and Mr. Ed. And I have no idea where to start.

Does Ed use a Vardon or interlock?
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#28 suprfli6

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Posted 20 September 2017 - 08:46 AM

View PostYuck, on 19 September 2017 - 01:39 PM, said:

I have seen a legit 125 MPH swing on a hacker.  He could carry it 325 plus if he hit it on the planet, which was twice in a round.  Lots of lost balls.  Someone said he must average 320 yards.  Using math, and adding all 14 drives and dividing by 14 his average was more like 220 yards.  (Trees, Hazards and OB's can hurt your average)
This reminds me of a guy who played as a sub in one of my leagues this year. On our last hole he carried his drive past the farthest total distance I've ever seen on that particular hole. My laser and Google Earth both have it as ~290 carry about 50 feet uphill. He made a bogey and played the nine holes 16 over par.

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#29 MtlJeff

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Posted 20 September 2017 - 08:51 AM

View PostEvanScottKing, on 20 September 2017 - 12:23 AM, said:

View Postmark174ace, on 19 September 2017 - 11:53 PM, said:


Just think how much worse it will get if the delusional millennials start playing more golf. Their drives will average 350 yards and they will all be scratch golfers even though they have played less than 50 rounds in their life lol.

There definitely are some out there.  The same scramble round I mentioned above had some of the younger guys who go out a few times a year for a round with the boys getting their tails whipped by fellas twice their age who actually know how to swing a club rather than take a baseball whack at it.  The trash talking ended quick.  And not all of us are that bad... I'm 25 seemingly going on 66 and like to come back from my afternoon rounds and enjoy a dram a scotch or two with a book before turning out the lights at 9:00.

For every "delusional Millenial" who thinks he hits it 300yds, there is a delusional non Millenial who hits 4 greens a round but tells you he loves his players clubs and can only play pro v1x because he can predict how it will react on each shot.

But piling on faux big hitters is fun, piling on great ballstriking 15 indexes is elitist


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#30 QuigleyDU

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Posted 20 September 2017 - 09:19 AM

View PostKC13, on 19 September 2017 - 05:25 PM, said:

So I am on the first tee with this guy.  I give him the driver.  He hauls off and wacks one - big hitter, long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier.  Do you know what he says? Gunga Galunga...Gunga Galunga

big hitter the lama.

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