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Played with oldest friend today.... Frustrated to no end.....


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#61 ckay

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 12:37 PM

My oldest friends are horrible at golf.  I'm talking 120+.  But the rare instance we can get a round in, I'll jump at the opportunity and enjoy the DAY.  A 72 or an 82 makes no difference to me for that day.

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#62 Tcann32

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 12:47 PM

I think that all those making negative comments about the OP could have fairly easily kept this in context of what the OP is saying.

He is lucky that he gets to play golf with one of his oldest friends, no doubt. It sounds like that's something he is grateful for.

I've been in the same situation before as well, and it is frustrating. Remember, he might be one of his oldest friends, like a brother even, and we all know how brothers handle one another.. lol I've golfed with some of my best, and oldest friends who are terrible. Some of them do it the right way: They don't golf much so they themselves happily pick it up after their 3rd swing attempt. They bring old golf balls and don't spend 10 min looking for each one in the woods, etc. I also have friends that do the opposite, and are determined to play down and out (even though they couldn't keep score correctly to save their lives), look for the ball that went 40 yards into the woods, etc. Oldest friend or not, it's frustrating when someone has a piss poor attitude. It's not like him being bad at golf is the issue. I'll golf with anyone, regardless of skill level, but if they have a terrible attitude and ruin the day for everyone else with their childish ways, then it is in-fact frustrating.
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#63 Bad9

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 12:54 PM

He doesn't sound grateful at all for spending time with a friend. Rather he sounds petulant and condescending.

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#64 Tcann32

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 12:58 PM

View Post2bGood, on 31 July 2017 - 04:23 PM, said:

View PostUnder2hours, on 31 July 2017 - 12:24 PM, said:

View Postgioguy21, on 31 July 2017 - 08:54 AM, said:

flat out, that guy shouldn't be your friend. he doesn't need you.


true friends to me mean more than $150 bucks, DOZENS of prov1s, or any other 'fees' associated with joining ME at MY club under MY invitation.

go vent to your cats man -- talking such words of your 'oldest friend' isn't right. even if it is here.

We're not cheap, but yes we have one very generous friend (the other in this group we've know since 12) and I do my best to reciprocate.  My friend sorry has been invited to tournaments and clubs to the tune of $1,000+ and has not done like (and not for any financial reason).  

You really think he was fitted for clubs?  This is the real world not golfwrx......

No I hate losing balls and bet each and everyone of you who has handed a friend a mint prov1 that was then lost, expected him to get one from his bag and hand it to you.

If you handed them too a $500 club (because the $300 driver of yours they're using just isn't good enough) that they then hit and left a skymark you'd be fine with it.


Yes I vented.  Figured this was a good place to do so.

I would take that bet. We laugh when we toss someone a ball and they put it in the water or something silly. If you are really friends it all works itself out.

It's obviously a principal matter, not a money matter. I'm happy to give any friend anything they want from me, and I never ask for anything in return, but I do notice the ones who never offer to help out, or do anything back. It doesn't have to be of equal value, etc.. It's strictly about appreciation in some form or another.

I would just venture to say that a real good friend would notice the things his friends are doing for him, and try to reciprocate in some way. It's like the friend in highschool that has his own car but always asks you to drive and never offers gas money, or the buddy that never buys the next round of beers and drinks for free every time you play. It's even more frustrating when they're able to reciprocate and don't, because they either don't notice, or don't care to notice and aren't grateful for it. Compound all that with complaining about the day and the experience you've played host to for him, and it does become a bit bothersome.
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#65 ctmason_98

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 02:29 PM

View PostTcann32, on 01 August 2017 - 12:47 PM, said:

He is lucky that he gets to play golf with one of his oldest friends, no doubt. It sounds like that's something he is grateful for.

Where did you get that context? I read absolutely no such gratitude.


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#66 Under2hours

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 03:43 PM

Thanks to those on this page.

I said I get out with him 9-15X's a year and not for golf.

It's not the balls (as much as I hate losing premium balls) nor his logic about clubs.  I was frustrated as said and that just bothered me as it is non-sensical.

As said I provided him a premium golf bag, clean (no cuts) nxt tours, nike rzn's, TM & Callway balls.  I paid for the round, food & drinks and then vented that he didn't put extra balls in his pocket when I told him to (we were in carts, I always walk).

I want everyone I play with to have a great time, hit wonderful shots, score well and enjoy themselves.  To me it is very hard to play well when you seldom play and use bad 20+ year old equipment and mutter that you don't know what is wrong.

We had a very good time, good weather and fun.  I just was exasperated and now told that I am a lousy person and friend.

Edited by Under2hours, 01 August 2017 - 03:45 PM.


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#67 NoTalentLefty

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 04:01 PM

You're friends , you might just start acting like one. Wonder how he would feel  if he knew you posted this out on a golf forum for the whole world to see? Face to face, none of this venting on a friend to a bunch of total strangers.

Edited by NoTalentLefty, 01 August 2017 - 04:13 PM.

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#68 q-school

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 04:11 PM

The most curious part to me is why you can't let it go?

I honestly think the average person would read your posts and say that you actually don't know what a good time is? If you have to vent then you didn't have that good a time.  Still being frustrated several days later--not a good time.  

I believe it is unlikely you can have both things--your expectations for him to have a good time, hit wonderful shots, have good score and you to have fun.  
Personally I would think he knows he's not good and thinks you have just decided to have a good time with him--with his bad shots, bad score, etc.  I doubt he cares if you give him clean used balls or dirty pinnacles. If it bothers you, just man up and have a conversation.   Then decide whether you are going to play together or not based on your expectations.  

If I were him, I would never really worry about reciprocating.  Oldest friends don't worry about reciprocating.  If you want him to be aware either just tell him or ask him to pay his share.   He will probably either quit or start reciprocating depending on how much he enjoys these outings.   Maybe he hates to go and is trying to find a way to tell you.  One more time for emphasis--you don't need to humblebrag.  It was very nice of you to invite him, pay for him, try to be a considerate host.  We get it.

Good luck.

Edited by q-school, 01 August 2017 - 06:33 PM.


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#69 duffer987

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 04:27 PM

View Postq-school, on 01 August 2017 - 04:11 PM, said:


If I were him, I would never really worry about reciprocating.  Oldest friends don't worry about reciprocating.

Good luck.  

That's it, who tallies, eesh.

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#70 DavePelz4

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 04:32 PM

One of the guys in our group is a 36.4 index...and in case you don't know, that's the USGA maximum.  On the course we played last Saturday which was sloped at 138, his index for the round was 44.  He shot 110 on the day which was his lowest round of the year. Based on index, he won most of the skins as he was getting 2 shots on every hole and 3 on nearly half of the holes.

The guys he played with laughed the entire round and he sent the most gracious note out to everyone thanking us for an awesome day.

Tell your friend when he's in Chicago to look us up.  We'll make sure he has a fun time.


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#71 Under2hours

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 07:29 PM

View PostDavePelz4, on 01 August 2017 - 04:32 PM, said:

One of the guys in our group is a 36.4 index...and in case you don't know, that's the USGA maximum.  On the course we played last Saturday which was sloped at 138, his index for the round was 44.  He shot 110 on the day which was his lowest round of the year. Based on index, he won most of the skins as he was getting 2 shots on every hole and 3 on nearly half of the holes.

The guys he played with laughed the entire round and he sent the most gracious note out to everyone thanking us for an awesome day.

Tell your friend when he's in Chicago to look us up.  We'll make sure he has a fun time.

Who said I didn't have fun?  We laughed and had a good time.  I admittedly was perturbed that he blamed the clubs (when he never plays nor practiced prior to the round), didn't carry an extra ball when he needed to hit another ball (not happy with his first and again no issues with him trying another).

I did everything to make it a fun day and treated.  Sorry a few things did get to me and I vented.  Isn't that what these sites are for.

I have more balls (premium mint) then I'll ever lose, but yep losing a ball still irks me.....

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#72 KYMAR

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 07:48 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 01 August 2017 - 12:21 PM, said:

View Postjut111, on 01 August 2017 - 07:25 AM, said:

Op, you still haven't answered the question - does your friend know you're being charged for him to play?  If he does and he doesn't offer to reciprocate, you've got a legit beef.  Then you decide if you can live with having a mooch for a friend or not.

But the club and ball thing is just ridiculous.  Who gives a flip if he doesn't understand or care new club physics vs old.  Really?

Yes he knows, the cost I'm not so sure.  Certainly knows it is not cheap.  We're all over 50.

And I have more sleeves of ProV's, thanks for the offer, but not the point as I was venting and letting off steam.

Yes I hate losing balls!!!!!  I said it.

You didn't lose any balls. you GAVE them to a friend of 38 years. And you keeping score over it is pathetic and small.
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#73 2bGood

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 09:20 PM

It sounds like what bothered you the most is your friend would not listen to the orders you were giving him. I have golfed for a long time, and rule #1 is don't tell another golfer what to do unless they ask.

For instance if you told me to carry a second ball, I would not be impressed. Why would I carry a second ball when I have no intention of losing my first? It is kind of like saying - "Don't hit it in the water on this hole".

I am also confused a bit by this guy being 'your oldest friend' and the fact you aren't open with him. When my friends do annoying things I tell them. If it is a truly big thing we might have a serous conversation, but if it something silly it will be more ball busting. For example if it bothered me they lost my ball I would say something like "You stupid $h!t you just lost my ball - you are buying me a beer!" and laugh and they would say something like "Remember when I convinced you not to ask that psycho girlfriend to marry you? I saved you a lifetime of paying alimony - I don't owe you anything."

If that didn't work I would post about them clipping towels to their belts on a golf forum.

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#74 Mulligan26

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 10:52 PM

Don't invite me to play with you. My best friend is also my boss, PGA director of golf. We play maybe 3 times a year together and yet spend more time together than with our family's. I relish those times, I don't care how bad the golf is because those few times a year my buddy doesn't worry about golf ops. We just play and get stupid drunk. I'll never forget these times, just like I'll never forget weekends with my close friends that don't play...

My friends are as close to family as I have outside of my mother father and sister. Maybe go camping with your closest friend instead of playing golf. Go shoot, go fishing.

I didn't read the thread outside of the OP, but Jesus christ man get your priorities straight.
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#75 matthewb

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 11:34 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 30 July 2017 - 09:22 PM, said:


Oh yes he played feather golf balls too, because he likes their feel, but I kept my mouth shut about that.....


Damn, this troll has played you all.

Bravo. Fine show.


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#76 ctmason_98

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 12:42 AM

Definitely, SmiterofProV1 has done a great comeback job here.

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#77 Sean2

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 03:09 AM

I played with a friend a few years ago that maybe, just maybe plays once a year. His clubs belong in the Smithsonian, and he probably shot a 115. He couldn't care less how he played, he just wanted to get some fresh air, sunshine, and confabulate. We had a lot of fun.
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#78 kgk

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 03:25 AM

I play with friends all the time.  I only get mad when they're really slow.  That's the time I kick them in the a**... choose a club and hit it, slowpoke!  :)

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#79 xxio

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 07:33 AM

The more you expound the more it sounds like you're not really friends.

When I have guests over I offer them beer and $20 wine.

When I have old true friends over I open the good stuff. Ichiro, Hibiki, 15year scotch and I enjoy the non special occasion with special people.

Do I expect them to offer me $100 whiskey when I visit? No.



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#80 guy9999

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 07:33 AM

Who do I ask to get my time back.  This was the biggest waste of time.

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#81 matthewb

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 07:44 AM

View Postxxio, on 02 August 2017 - 07:33 AM, said:

The more you expound the more it sounds like you're not really friends.

When I have guests over I offer them beer and $20 wine.

When I have old true friends over I open the good stuff. Ichiro, Hibiki, 15year scotch and I enjoy the non special occasion with special people.

Do I expect them to offer me $100 whiskey when I visit? No.

I pour eight ounces of Pappy Van Winkle along the threshold of the front door prior to any guest entering.

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#82 xxio

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 08:02 AM

View Postmatthewb, on 02 August 2017 - 07:44 AM, said:

View Postxxio, on 02 August 2017 - 07:33 AM, said:

The more you expound the more it sounds like you're not really friends.

When I have guests over I offer them beer and $20 wine.

When I have old true friends over I open the good stuff. Ichiro, Hibiki, 15year scotch and I enjoy the non special occasion with special people.

Do I expect them to offer me $100 whiskey when I visit? No.

I pour eight ounces of Pappy Van Winkle along the threshold of the front door prior to any guest entering.

My apologies. Van Winkle or scotch I guess we shouldn't be judging the OP on what his standards of friendship are.

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#83 ruffellprefley

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 08:18 AM

man, this thread is gold. i feel sorry for your "friend"

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#84 DavePelz4

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 09:16 AM

View PostUnder2hours, on 01 August 2017 - 07:29 PM, said:

View PostDavePelz4, on 01 August 2017 - 04:32 PM, said:

One of the guys in our group is a 36.4 index...and in case you don't know, that's the USGA maximum.  On the course we played last Saturday which was sloped at 138, his index for the round was 44.  He shot 110 on the day which was his lowest round of the year. Based on index, he won most of the skins as he was getting 2 shots on every hole and 3 on nearly half of the holes.

The guys he played with laughed the entire round and he sent the most gracious note out to everyone thanking us for an awesome day.

Tell your friend when he's in Chicago to look us up.  We'll make sure he has a fun time.

Who said I didn't have fun?  We laughed and had a good time.  I admittedly was perturbed that he blamed the clubs (when he never plays nor practiced prior to the round), didn't carry an extra ball when he needed to hit another ball (not happy with his first and again no issues with him trying another).

I did everything to make it a fun day and treated.  Sorry a few things did get to me and I vented.  Isn't that what these sites are for.

I have more balls (premium mint) then I'll ever lose, but yep losing a ball still irks me.....

Respectfully, who asked if you had fun?  My suggestion was for your friend to look us up.

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#85 Tcann32

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 10:10 AM

View Postguy9999, on 02 August 2017 - 07:33 AM, said:

Who do I ask to get my time back.  This was the biggest waste of time.

Why'd you keep reading so long...? lol

What's actually in the bag...
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Callaway BBA (2014)
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Scratch Golf 51,55,58,59
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25

#86 Under2hours

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 02:03 PM

View PostDavePelz4, on 02 August 2017 - 09:16 AM, said:

View PostUnder2hours, on 01 August 2017 - 07:29 PM, said:

View PostDavePelz4, on 01 August 2017 - 04:32 PM, said:

One of the guys in our group is a 36.4 index...and in case you don't know, that's the USGA maximum.  On the course we played last Saturday which was sloped at 138, his index for the round was 44.  He shot 110 on the day which was his lowest round of the year. Based on index, he won most of the skins as he was getting 2 shots on every hole and 3 on nearly half of the holes.

The guys he played with laughed the entire round and he sent the most gracious note out to everyone thanking us for an awesome day.

Tell your friend when he's in Chicago to look us up.  We'll make sure he has a fun time.

Who said I didn't have fun?  We laughed and had a good time.  I admittedly was perturbed that he blamed the clubs (when he never plays nor practiced prior to the round), didn't carry an extra ball when he needed to hit another ball (not happy with his first and again no issues with him trying another).

I did everything to make it a fun day and treated.  Sorry a few things did get to me and I vented.  Isn't that what these sites are for.

I have more balls (premium mint) then I'll ever lose, but yep losing a ball still irks me.....

Respectfully, who asked if you had fun?  My suggestion was for your friend to look us up.

Don't worry about it, he enjoyed the round too.......

Funny how everyone who knows my friend and about the day, understands how I feel.  I guess everyone's friends are perfect or you have nothing bad to say and they have nothing at all that irks you.

BTW I know I'm not perfect either and readily admit it.

Obviously you're much better company then I encountered on Men's night that I got reamed on too for having the audacity to come here and comment on......  Maybe I can join your group if in Chicago (and supply all my found balls) :taunt:

Sorry again for venting...... I'll count to 3 (or 100) before I post again.

Edited by Under2hours, 02 August 2017 - 03:05 PM.


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#87 2bGood

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 10:42 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 02 August 2017 - 02:03 PM, said:

View PostDavePelz4, on 02 August 2017 - 09:16 AM, said:

View PostUnder2hours, on 01 August 2017 - 07:29 PM, said:

View PostDavePelz4, on 01 August 2017 - 04:32 PM, said:

One of the guys in our group is a 36.4 index...and in case you don't know, that's the USGA maximum.  On the course we played last Saturday which was sloped at 138, his index for the round was 44.  He shot 110 on the day which was his lowest round of the year. Based on index, he won most of the skins as he was getting 2 shots on every hole and 3 on nearly half of the holes.

The guys he played with laughed the entire round and he sent the most gracious note out to everyone thanking us for an awesome day.

Tell your friend when he's in Chicago to look us up.  We'll make sure he has a fun time.

Who said I didn't have fun?  We laughed and had a good time.  I admittedly was perturbed that he blamed the clubs (when he never plays nor practiced prior to the round), didn't carry an extra ball when he needed to hit another ball (not happy with his first and again no issues with him trying another).

I did everything to make it a fun day and treated.  Sorry a few things did get to me and I vented.  Isn't that what these sites are for.

I have more balls (premium mint) then I'll ever lose, but yep losing a ball still irks me.....

Respectfully, who asked if you had fun?  My suggestion was for your friend to look us up.

Don't worry about it, he enjoyed the round too.......

Funny how everyone who knows my friend and about the day, understands how I feel.  I guess everyone's friends are perfect or you have nothing bad to say and they have nothing at all that irks you.

BTW I know I'm not perfect either and readily admit it.

Obviously you're much better company then I encountered on Men's night that I got reamed on too for having the audacity to come here and comment on......  Maybe I can join your group if in Chicago (and supply all my found balls) :taunt:

Sorry again for venting...... I'll count to 3 (or 100) before I post again.

No need to apologize. I love reading your threads - they really make me appreciate my own life much more.

27

#88 atteberry23

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Posted 03 August 2017 - 08:29 AM

Maybe you should stick to sitting at the pool with him.

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#89 SixtySomePing

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Posted 03 August 2017 - 11:29 AM

View PostUnder2hours, on 01 August 2017 - 07:29 PM, said:

View PostDavePelz4, on 01 August 2017 - 04:32 PM, said:

One of the guys in our group is a 36.4 index...and in case you don't know, that's the USGA maximum.  On the course we played last Saturday which was sloped at 138, his index for the round was 44.  He shot 110 on the day which was his lowest round of the year. Based on index, he won most of the skins as he was getting 2 shots on every hole and 3 on nearly half of the holes.

The guys he played with laughed the entire round and he sent the most gracious note out to everyone thanking us for an awesome day.

Tell your friend when he's in Chicago to look us up.  We'll make sure he has a fun time.
I have more balls (premium mint) then I'll ever lose, but yep losing a ball still irks me.....
see... read what you wrote here, really. If you were sitting here, at least I would ask you why if you have that many premium balls, losing just one would be a concern? People are more important than losing an old hunk of polybutadiene covered with urethane, no? If you had that ball in front of you again, and your friend, and you could never see one of them ever again, wouldn't the friend be more meaningful?

Put your priorities in the right place. If I were you, I would take all of those premium balls tonite and throw them over a cliff, and be free of the burden of thinking they are that meaningful. Then I would call that friend up, and find the most regular two-bit, least snobby course I could find and go play golf using a borrowed set of clubs...

Thanks Thug Hunter for your public service by the way.
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29

#90 shotmark

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Posted 04 August 2017 - 03:46 AM

Luckilly you didn't mention the tee you lent him on the first and never got back! had you done there is every chance you might have been submitted to a public stoning by the GolfWRX moral majority.


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