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Played with oldest friend today.... Frustrated to no end.....


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#1 Under2hours

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Posted 28 July 2017 - 08:49 PM

Played at my club.  He's probably played 5X's the last 5 years or more.  Never a great golfer 90's-100....  I play a lot.  

Offer him my clubs (TM Jetspeed Driver, Hybrids, Mizuno MX300 Irons).  He played the irons last month his first game in years no practice.  He announces he's using his old irons, 30 year old Dunlop Maxflis and explains he couldn't hit my Mizunos.  I tell him it has nothing to do with the club, but that he hasn't played.

Anyways he hits some good shots but again is one of those expecting to be his former self and complaining.  His iron play was atrocious. GOLF IS HARD and better clubs make a huge difference.  He actually brought out a 35 year old wood driver last year explaining he hits it well (at least he did in 1979)......

I tell him to carry balls in his pocket if he wants to hit another shot and he doesn't, asks for a ball and twice lost a TM Project A and a Prov1 when I tossed him one.  Not brand new out of the sleeve but mint condition.

Add to that he doesn't realize the guest fee is $150, add drinks and food too......

Sometimes you just need to vent......


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#2 mtsmith

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Posted 28 July 2017 - 09:28 PM

Oh man, how I wish I could spend a day at the golf club with my oldest friend, buy his round of golf, and a beer or two afterwards while talking about the good ole days when we did that more frequently.

Time flies by man and life happens....be glad you got to see your oldest friend.

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#3 KBong

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Posted 28 July 2017 - 09:31 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 28 July 2017 - 08:49 PM, said:

Played at my club.  He's probably played 5X's the last 5 years or more.  Never a great golfer 90's-100....  I play a lot.  

Offer him my clubs (TM Jetspeed Driver, Hybrids, Mizuno MX300 Irons).  He played the irons last month his first game in years no practice.  He announces he's using his old irons, 30 year old Dunlop Maxflis and explains he couldn't hit my Mizunos.  I tell him it has nothing to do with the club, but that he hasn't played.

Anyways he hits some good shots but again is one of those expecting to be his former self and complaining.  His iron play was atrocious. GOLF IS HARD and better clubs make a huge difference.  He actually brought out a 35 year old wood driver last year explaining he hits it well (at least he did in 1979)......

I tell him to carry balls in his pocket if he wants to hit another shot and he doesn't, asks for a ball and twice lost a TM Project A and a Prov1 when I tossed him one.  Not brand new out of the sleeve but mint condition.

Add to that he doesn't realize the guest fee is $150, add drinks and food too......

Sometimes you just need to vent......
Hmmmm
So let me understand.
1) You INVITE him to your club knowing he's a lousy golfer who doesn't play much and come onto the internet to complain about his golf.
2) He's your OLDEST FRIEND and you complain that he lost 2 used golf balls worth about $4 in total.
3) You INVITE him to your club and EXPECT him to pay. I know several members of private clubs and when they INVITE people they fully EXPECT to absorb the costs...that's why they INVITE people to their the clubs.
Ya....it would be nice for the guest to reciprocate...and many knowledgeable golfers do reciprocate in some form after the fact...maybe your friend will reciprocate in the near future to take you out to an expensive dinner, play golf, etc, etc.

As a guy who plays rarely....maybe doesn't understand the costs of being invited to a private club.

If your OLDEST friend self invited himself to your club...and you accepted and if you expected him to pay for his guest fee....you should have told him the costs upfront and let him decide if he still wanted to play.

You must be a GREAT friend to whine on WRX about your OLDEST friend.....LMAO.
Thanks for the laugh....have a great weekend!

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Edited by KBong, 28 July 2017 - 09:35 PM.


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#4 Chomper

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Posted 28 July 2017 - 09:39 PM

I appreciate the frustration - which is why (I assume) you are venting to a bunch of golfers unknown to you.

I feel you. I empathize.

But I wish I could have 4 hours to shoot the breeze w one of my oldest friends, who left this life way too young and a long time ago.

When you look back on your life, you won't remember this incident at all. Neither will your friend. It will be one of a huge number of times when you two spent time together, enjoying company, and giving/getting a little lip and having a drink or two.

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#5 BrianMcG

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Posted 28 July 2017 - 10:08 PM

I feel your pain. I go on a golf trip every year with 20-24 guys.  At least 4-5 of them only play once a year during this trip.  Its 36 holes a day for three days.

Needless to say these once a year guys do nothing but whine after the first day because they can't even swing a club. Everything is pretty much a top or whiff or skull.  They don't understand why they are playing so bad they say.

After getting paired with some of them you get tired of looking for their balls on every hole. You would think they would at least hit some balls or play a round or two leading up to this. Its not like its a surprise trip or anything.


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#6 jaymayor

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Posted 29 July 2017 - 09:14 AM

no words for this

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#7 Under2hours

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Posted 29 July 2017 - 10:22 AM

We get together a fair bit and are lucky to that end.  I was just venting as to some frustration as to his observations and what he did.

I did not mention there are four of us (3 of us have known each other 40 years and the fourth my business partner now a friend too).  Three of us members at private club and doing the 3-club circuit.  

The fourth I was venting about makes disparaging comments about private clubs and the "stuffy" attitudes.  

He will get invites to all three and we'll wait to see if he asks how he can reciprocate.

Yes lucky that our group gets together 6-9X's a year for dinners/drinks.

Add to that I'm a new member and he drove the cart on a par 3 as other members watched.

Yes we had a good time.

Edited by Under2hours, 29 July 2017 - 10:24 AM.


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#8 q-school

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Posted 29 July 2017 - 11:43 AM

Sorry you were frustrated.  Glad you had a good time with your friend and also a place to vent.   :)

Enjoy the next rounds.

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#9 Conrad1953

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Posted 29 July 2017 - 05:01 PM

I understand your frustration. From what you have said it sounds as though
your friend has a pretty negative attitude about golf and golfers.

I'm of the mind that it's his choice to be that way. Likely, that attitude carries
over into other things as well.

Sometimes with old life long friends we just suffer them for old times sake
but maybe we shouldn't in some cases. Life is short and who wants to be
around negative whiny people?

My wife just recently cut ties with a friend she has had for over 30 years.
Sometimes you just run out of energy for some people. Too much drama,
too much whining and constant trouble and pity parties.
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#10 stryper

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Posted 29 July 2017 - 05:57 PM

View Postjaymayor, on 29 July 2017 - 09:14 AM, said:

no words for this

^^^This^^^

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#11 nsxguy

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Posted 29 July 2017 - 06:27 PM

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#12 nickmt

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 07:01 PM

I feel your pain!!
I had a similar experience and was talking/venting to my close friend who is not a golfer.  His hobby is target shooting and we both agreed that the feelings are mutual when @ a golf course or target range.  

My friends input was : at least when I go to the target range (which is rare) the needed info and details to enjoy the day is nothing like golf.  For the most part I know how to hold a gun, stance, aim, pull trigger - and I can somewhat hit what I'm aiming at.  Also interacting with good shooters or fitting in is much easier then dealing with good golfers or CC members.   I have a very basic pistol that I have brought shooting and his guns are all specialized target guns.  He will insist I shoot those, and I do try them, but I usually go back to using mine - why? I dunno maybe burden, or I don't want to break them, or feel out of place - but mostly because it's really not that important to me.  

Whereas with golf the details are endless/ require more -  and you're right it's really really hard for most people.  This is another reason why the game is not growing and probably never will.  Plus it requires 4+ hrs

Just my two cents

My friend was up front and said if it wasn't for spending time together he would golf even less.

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#13 Medic

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 07:18 PM

A friend of mine I used to play with died this past November.

I'd pay any amount to be able to tee it up with him just one more time.

All about perspective.
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#14 KYMAR

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 07:35 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 29 July 2017 - 10:22 AM, said:

We get together a fair bit and are lucky to that end.  I was just venting as to some frustration as to his observations and what he did.

I did not mention there are four of us (3 of us have known each other 40 years and the fourth my business partner now a friend too).  Three of us members at private club and doing the 3-club circuit.  

The fourth I was venting about makes disparaging comments about private clubs and the "stuffy" attitudes.  

He will get invites to all three and we'll wait to see if he asks how he can reciprocate.

Yes lucky that our group gets together 6-9X's a year for dinners/drinks.

Add to that I'm a new member and he drove the cart on a par 3 as other members watched.

Yes we had a good time.

Wait he makes disparaging remarks about the stuffy attitudes of Private clubs and their members, while embarrassing you with a 35 year old persimmon driver?

Where does this guy come up with this stuff?!
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#15 Thug Hunter

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 07:41 PM

What I got from this post was that someone who plays "a lot" is only a 13.2 hc yet he's bashing a "friend" publicly who plays once a year on average.  I'm going to assume that at least one of the golfers in that twosome is somewhat of a dick!

That pretty much sums it up for anyone not wanting to waste their time in reading the junk I just read.  SMH!

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#16 Under2hours

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 08:33 PM

View PostThug Hunter, on 30 July 2017 - 07:41 PM, said:

What I got from this post was that someone who plays "a lot" is only a 13.2 hc yet he's bashing a "friend" publicly who plays once a year on average.  I'm going to assume that at least one of the golfers in that twosome is somewhat of a dick!

That pretty much sums it up for anyone not wanting to waste their time in reading the junk I just read.  SMH!
I'm not a good enough golfer for you?  My apologies.  

Maybe a section on the forum should be reserved for bad golfers like me?

I was bashing my friend on this forum, because I went out of my way, invited him to not a cheap day at my club.  Provided him some very good mizuno clubs, filled his bag with my balls and frustrated when I tried to explain that the mizunos are much better technology and clubs and he's explaining that his 20+ year old clubs, that he hasn't hit he's better with.  Sorry just plain wrong.

Yes and when I hand him 2 mint quality balls that proceeds to lose (because he can't be bothered to put an extra one in his pocket), yes I was perturbed.

As for his 35 year old Nicklaus Golden Bear wood, I too said that it would be next to impossible to hit and offered him mine.

And yes he hit some with my M1 and was worried he'd leave a sky mark.

Edited by Under2hours, 30 July 2017 - 08:36 PM.


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#17 Guia

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 08:37 PM

Your selfish and self centered. :angry22:  

Oh, yea.  Your a 13 HC, get off your high horse.  13 HC is decent but not low enough to lambast others.

Edited by Guia, 30 July 2017 - 08:38 PM.


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#18 KYMAR

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 08:46 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 30 July 2017 - 08:33 PM, said:

View PostThug Hunter, on 30 July 2017 - 07:41 PM, said:

What I got from this post was that someone who plays "a lot" is only a 13.2 hc yet he's bashing a "friend" publicly who plays once a year on average.  I'm going to assume that at least one of the golfers in that twosome is somewhat of a dick!

That pretty much sums it up for anyone not wanting to waste their time in reading the junk I just read.  SMH!
I'm not a good enough golfer for you?  My apologies.  

Maybe a section on the forum should be reserved for bad golfers like me?

I was bashing my friend on this forum, because I went out of my way, invited him to not a cheap day at my club.  Provided him some very good mizuno clubs, filled his bag with my balls and frustrated when I tried to explain that the mizunos are much better technology and clubs and he's explaining that his 20+ year old clubs, that he hasn't hit he's better with.  Sorry just plain wrong.

Yes and when I hand him 2 mint quality balls that proceeds to lose (because he can't be bothered to put an extra one in his pocket), yes I was perturbed.

As for his 35 year old Nicklaus Golden Bear wood, I too said that it would be next to impossible to hit and offered him mine.

And yes he hit some with my M1 and was worried he'd leave a sky mark.

So you feel that age alone has made his old driver "unhittable" somehow so then you offer your driver then worry the whole time that he was going to ding it up?

And you spend 150 bucks for him to play with you (aother complaint you have) and are worried about a few golf balls he lost?

He's your oldest friend? How harshly you must judge your enemies.
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#19 Thug Hunter

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 08:56 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 30 July 2017 - 08:33 PM, said:

View PostThug Hunter, on 30 July 2017 - 07:41 PM, said:

What I got from this post was that someone who plays "a lot" is only a 13.2 hc yet he's bashing a "friend" publicly who plays once a year on average.  I'm going to assume that at least one of the golfers in that twosome is somewhat of a dick!

That pretty much sums it up for anyone not wanting to waste their time in reading the junk I just read.  SMH!
I'm not a good enough golfer for you?  My apologies.  

Maybe a section on the forum should be reserved for bad golfers like me?

I was bashing my friend on this forum, because I went out of my way, invited him to not a cheap day at my club.  Provided him some very good mizuno clubs, filled his bag with my balls and frustrated when I tried to explain that the mizunos are much better technology and clubs and he's explaining that his 20+ year old clubs, that he hasn't hit he's better with.  Sorry just plain wrong.

Yes and when I hand him 2 mint quality balls that proceeds to lose (because he can't be bothered to put an extra one in his pocket), yes I was perturbed.

As for his 35 year old Nicklaus Golden Bear wood, I too said that it would be next to impossible to hit and offered him mine.

And yes he hit some with my M1 and was worried he'd leave a sky mark.

Damn dude, the more you talk, the worse you sound.  Did he at least thank you for everything you did for him that day?
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#20 mizleft

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:03 PM

This is exactly the reason I let my best buddies play the local goat tracks as opposed to the club I play at.
Everyone at the muni plays permission woods
Some even have hickory shafted irons. Lol
Awesome


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#21 sekrah

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:04 PM

View PostKYMAR, on 30 July 2017 - 07:35 PM, said:

View PostUnder2hours, on 29 July 2017 - 10:22 AM, said:

We get together a fair bit and are lucky to that end.  I was just venting as to some frustration as to his observations and what he did.

I did not mention there are four of us (3 of us have known each other 40 years and the fourth my business partner now a friend too).  Three of us members at private club and doing the 3-club circuit.  

The fourth I was venting about makes disparaging comments about private clubs and the "stuffy" attitudes.  

He will get invites to all three and we'll wait to see if he asks how he can reciprocate.

Yes lucky that our group gets together 6-9X's a year for dinners/drinks.

Add to that I'm a new member and he drove the cart on a par 3 as other members watched.

Yes we had a good time.

Wait he makes disparaging remarks about the stuffy attitudes of Private clubs and their members, while embarrassing you with a 35 year old persimmon driver?

Where does this guy come up with this stuff?!

Guy gives a total hacker 2 top of the line balls and then is shocked when he loses them.

I am 100% convinced that Under2Hours is the greatest troll account on WRX history.. This cannot be a real person.

Edited by sekrah, 30 July 2017 - 09:05 PM.


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#22 Under2hours

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:04 PM

Oh and the 5X's he's golfed have been on other people's dime......  And no he hasn't reciprocated.

Happy to go for dinner, grab lunch, wings, watch a game shoot the breeze......  I don't need to go golfing with friends, unless they are passionate and want to come.

I mention the wood driver as I was helping him giving him better equipment and explaining the difference and how hard it is to hit the club and even if you catch it perfectly it will be 30-50 yards behind a M1 or Epic.

And I gave him my TM Jetspeed for the last 3-4 rounds and he then asked to hit my M1.

Fine I'm an a**.

Edited by Under2hours, 30 July 2017 - 09:06 PM.


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#23 sekrah

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:07 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 30 July 2017 - 09:04 PM, said:

Oh and the 5X's he's golfed have been on other people's dime......  And no he hasn't reciprocated.

Happy to go for dinner, grab lunch, wings, watch a game shoot the breeze......  I don't need to go golfing with friends, unless they are passionate and want to come.

I mention the wood driver as I was helping him giving him better equipment and explaining the difference and how hard it is to hit the club and even if you catch it perfectly it will be 30-50 yards behind a M1 or Epic.

And I gave him my TM Jetspeed for the last 3-4 rounds and he then asked to hit my M1.

Fine I'm an a**.


Aren't you the same one who totally lost his s*** when your random playing partner strangers wouldn't reciprocate nonsensical chit chat with you that you engaged them on the first tee with?

You're now mad at an old friend for losing $5 worth of balls. You're also mad at him for not using your expensive clubs to hack at the ground with.

You aren't real.

Edited by sekrah, 30 July 2017 - 09:10 PM.


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#24 xxio

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:21 PM

Next just invite him for dinner and drinks.



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#25 Thug Hunter

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:22 PM

View Postsekrah, on 30 July 2017 - 09:07 PM, said:

View PostUnder2hours, on 30 July 2017 - 09:04 PM, said:

Oh and the 5X's he's golfed have been on other people's dime......  And no he hasn't reciprocated.

Happy to go for dinner, grab lunch, wings, watch a game shoot the breeze......  I don't need to go golfing with friends, unless they are passionate and want to come.

I mention the wood driver as I was helping him giving him better equipment and explaining the difference and how hard it is to hit the club and even if you catch it perfectly it will be 30-50 yards behind a M1 or Epic.

And I gave him my TM Jetspeed for the last 3-4 rounds and he then asked to hit my M1.

Fine I'm an a**.


Aren't you the same one who totally lost his s*** when your random playing partner strangers wouldn't reciprocate nonsensical chit chat with you that you engaged them on the first tee with?

You're now mad at an old friend for losing $5 worth of balls. You're also mad at him for not using your expensive clubs to hack at the ground with.

You aren't real.

You just nearly made me choke on banana bread.

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#26 Under2hours

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:22 PM

View Postsekrah, on 30 July 2017 - 09:07 PM, said:

View PostUnder2hours, on 30 July 2017 - 09:04 PM, said:

Oh and the 5X's he's golfed have been on other people's dime......  And no he hasn't reciprocated.

Happy to go for dinner, grab lunch, wings, watch a game shoot the breeze......  I don't need to go golfing with friends, unless they are passionate and want to come.

I mention the wood driver as I was helping him giving him better equipment and explaining the difference and how hard it is to hit the club and even if you catch it perfectly it will be 30-50 yards behind a M1 or Epic.

And I gave him my TM Jetspeed for the last 3-4 rounds and he then asked to hit my M1.

Fine I'm an a**.


Aren't you the same one who totally lost his s*** when your random playing partner strangers wouldn't reciprocate nonsensical chit chat with you that you engaged them on the first tee with?

You're now mad at an old friend for losing $5 worth of balls. You're also mad at him for not using your expensive clubs to hack at the ground with.

You aren't real.

He used my woods & hybrids and I just explained that the Mizunos were easier to hit and he'd play better with them then his old irons (that he hasn't played with for 5 years).....

I gave him clubs that were much better and he'd be able to play better with.  

Nevermind the 5X's he's played he hasn't once hit the driving range and just walks to the first tee, expecting the same game he had when he was 18, which like all of us was not good.

Oh yes he played feather golf balls too, because he likes their feel, but I kept my mouth shut about that.....

And so what if I posted about a bad experience on Men's Night, when I am trying to make an effort to meet and engage members.  I was just making an observation about my playing partners that day.

Yes would love friends who had the same passion for golf and mindset.  Mine don't and thus don't really need to get them out golfing.



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Edited by Under2hours, 30 July 2017 - 09:30 PM.


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#27 jpdx

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 09:37 PM

View PostUnder2hours, on 28 July 2017 - 08:49 PM, said:

Played at my club.  He's probably played 5X's the last 5 years or more.  Never a great golfer 90's-100....  I play a lot.  

Offer him my clubs (TM Jetspeed Driver, Hybrids, Mizuno MX300 Irons).  He played the irons last month his first game in years no practice.  He announces he's using his old irons, 30 year old Dunlop Maxflis and explains he couldn't hit my Mizunos.  I tell him it has nothing to do with the club, but that he hasn't played.

Anyways he hits some good shots but again is one of those expecting to be his former self and complaining.  His iron play was atrocious. GOLF IS HARD and better clubs make a huge difference.  He actually brought out a 35 year old wood driver last year explaining he hits it well (at least he did in 1979)......

I tell him to carry balls in his pocket if he wants to hit another shot and he doesn't, asks for a ball and twice lost a TM Project A and a Prov1 when I tossed him one.  Not brand new out of the sleeve but mint condition.

Add to that he doesn't realize the guest fee is $150, add drinks and food too......

Sometimes you just need to vent......

Vent away. Imho some people don't know what the costs associated are. If my wife knew....

I invite friends so I can spend some time with them. I couldn't care less what they shoot. I'll be the one that will say "hey, it's not like you play all the time," Toss them a ball and say "hit another one" (assuming we aren't holding anyone up). Give him some positivity. Might make him more positive rather than lamenting on how much better he used to be.

Granted, I'm not a member of a club, and probably never will be due to costs associated in an ongoing basis, I will always ask if I'm invited to play at a club, the costs, if for no other reason than to know how to reciprocate. He may not know, like I said, if my wife knew...

You being on this forum should know that no matter how good the tech, there's a psychological affect of playing something you are confident in. Perhaps your friend is just more confident in the older stuff. Nothing wrong with that.
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#28 q-school

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Posted 30 July 2017 - 10:09 PM

I'm only commenting in attempt to be helpful.  
Maybe you can find another way to spend time with your friend?
Obviously you two are on different pages with regard to golf.  It doesn't seem you will be able to mask your annoyance the next time you play.  Life is too short to get this frustrated.

You vented.  It was frustrating.   I don't care what your golf skill level is, at lest in my opinion you are still allowed to get frustrated by this game.  

Now time to let go.  God I hope you are not drunk posting.

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#29 Andrew M

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Posted 31 July 2017 - 12:06 AM

Have to be frank and say that if someone offered me clubs I'd never played or practiced with -- no matter how awesome or great they're going to be for me, I'd probably decline. Perhaps he, too, was worried he would mess up your clubs and didn't want to leave a mark?

I'm a little confused too. He hit some good shots, but his iron play was atrocious? If your friend plays so rarely and isn't very good, how are we going to divine their games up into specific facets? Golfers like that don't care. I play with my dad occasionally and he's the first to admit he's not great, but what I do for him is say "great shot Dad" on the few he does hit well, and then we go share a basket of fries in the clubhouse afterwards. I guess it never occurred to me to complain about him on GolfWRX.

And... sorry... I just can't help myself at this point

"I don't need to go golfing with friends, unless they are passionate and want to come."

What?! Golf is supposed to be something that you can do with friends just for the sake of enjoying a nice 4 hours with them outdoors.  Your friend golfs one time a year and he gets lambasted for not realizing your guest fees. Burn him at the stake. Your post makes me wonder if my plus-cap friends I play with view my pathetic 11-something handicap butt the same way.


I'll leave you with this -- of my best friends, Larry, is a 73 year old guy with severe arthritis and it's a chore for him to get out and play 9 with a cart. He's lucky to break 60 through 9 holes. He is an absolute joy to play with.  You'd better believe of all the amazing golfers I've had the chance to play with, playing with Larry is my favorite.

If your friendship with someone is based off how well he or she is able to play golf, then you've got the wrong perspective on both golf and friendship

I feel bad for your friend -- he must have the patient of a saint. Or drink heavily. Or both.
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#30 2bGood

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Posted 31 July 2017 - 12:49 AM

I played my yearly round with my mom last week. She is now nearing 80 and only plays once per year. I bring her clubs and balls and basically caddy for her and help get her around the course. She walks, and is slow, she hits the type of shots you would expect for a lady of that age who only plays once per year. She shot 120 something but had one par (and we loved that par!). I shot even par.

It was my best round of the year. Not the score, but the company.

I look at this way. I play LOTS of golf. This is her one round per year. I don't worry about myself for that round as I have plenty of chances to have my own golf rounds, I just worry about her having a good time.

Funny thing is I typically play pretty good in these rounds as my own game is in the back of my mind.

I take the same approach when I hosting other non-serous golfers. This is a special day for them, but for me it just another day on the course. I want to make sure they have a good time and if they do I can enjoy the game through their eyes.

If you take you buddy golfing because you expect something in return then you are doing it for the wrong reason.


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