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Wish my wife would play...


139 replies to this topic

#91 Kaysquare

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Posted 22 June 2017 - 09:51 AM

Well, I'm the wife & the golfer in this marriage.  My husband introduced me to golf 20 yrs ago & I was immediately obsessed with the game.  I worked HARD at the game, took lessons (never from my hubby), practiced almost night & day.  When I began beating him pretty consistently, he slowly lost interest in golf.  Are you prepared for the fact that this could happen to you?  My husband's always said "be careful what you wish for".  Honestly though, he's always encouraged me in my golf, never complains about my playing so much and/or buying new equipment.  I spend way more on golf than he ever did, & he's okay with it.  He has his own interests & activities, he just burned out on golf.


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#92 deedolce

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Posted 22 June 2017 - 11:58 AM

Hubby rediscovered golf, after a hiatus of 10 years. He got a set of golf clubs and started swinging in the house, watching golf, and going to the range. Then he offered me a golf lesson as part of my Christmas present. 3 months ago I took him up on it. Never even held a real golf club in my hand before (he and the pro said miniature golf 20 years ago didn't count). I love it. It really added a whole new thing for us to do together.

We just got back from vacation yesterday. Now that I'm into golf, we scouted around and for 3 days in a row found new golf courses, and used the practice ranges. After I get better, we hope to travel around in our future RV and make golf weekend trips.

We're a couple that really likes doing things together. When we first got together, it was cycling. Then running/ 5K's, and now golf. We're older, and my kids are adults, so there's much more freedom than those of you with young children.

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#93 4thand11

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Posted 22 June 2017 - 10:12 PM

I think if you like spending time with your wife, it's natural to want her to play.  However you can't force it.  I love my wife but she has zero interest in golf.  None.  I've tried.  She thinks it's dumb.  But she never hassles me about playing, so there's that.

I did get her to agree to join me on an upcoming round, just riding along in the cart.  I'm hoping maybe getting out on the course might change her mind about playing, but I doubt it.

If she gave me grief about playing I'm not sure how I'd handle it.  I only play once a week, I feel like it would lead to resentment long term if she made me feel guilty about doing something I enjoy.  Luckily, she doesn't.

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#94 jayce

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Posted 23 June 2017 - 07:23 AM

I guess I am an oddity. I am the wife and the golfer in my marriage!  I am the reason that my husband started playing. He had no real interest in it before I came along and he only plays occasionally now. I now have our young son playing regularly.

Edited by jayce, 23 June 2017 - 07:25 AM.


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#95 platgof

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Posted 23 June 2017 - 10:24 PM

Go to the mall with her after a game of golf and you will both feel the same way.

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#96 AndyLL

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Posted 25 June 2017 - 02:36 AM

Before my wife started playing I managed 1 round a week in a work league and hit at the range a couple times a week.

Once she started to play ( my only requirement was she take lessons ) she caught the bug like I did.

We now have a membership at a course, play 18 almost every Sat & Sun and I play 9 or hit almost every day during the week.

I still have days when I play with my friends and because of her work schedule I have to play without her many evenings.  There is no resentment that I do that because she understands the desire to play as much as possible.

Her playing is the main reason my handicap went from the mid 20s down too the current ~15 I am.  I actually play too much. ( more practice instead of playing would help my game )

I would never feel comfortable spending the money I do on golf I do every year if it was not a shared hobby.

Edited by AndyLL, 25 June 2017 - 02:37 AM.


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#97 Bingo1976

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Posted 29 June 2017 - 02:16 AM

My wife started golf about 6 months ago. We go to the range twice a week and she is having lessons from a local pro for the long game, and I am coaching her on short game, putting and etiquette. It was originally detrimental to my game a bit, but now I get her started at the range, make sure she is doing the right things and then let her get on with it and focus on my own practice. I am also enjoying seeing her develop (she's got a decent swing and can already hit her driver 140 yards).

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#98 LaymanM

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:02 AM

I guess this is why I will be divorced soon.  Wife didn't want to play, always gave me crap about wanting to play.   Okay for her to go do stuff with her friends but never me.  I don't wish divorce on anyone but life is too short...
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#99 bigchucksr

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:31 PM

I'm sure glad my wife plays and plays well.  She is the fourth member of my two golfing buddies and myself, plays three out of five days during our season out here and, more importantly, when we travel we plan that travel around golf outings so I never have to play and new course or an old favorite by myself or with strangers.
She's a trooper, takes the bad shots with a laugh and makes plenty of good shots.  She's competitive as hell, wants to beat the three of us and often does.
I appreciate every round I play with her because I did not have that pleasure in previous relationships.  I would encourage any golfer to try playing as a couple--it adds tremendously to the enjoyment of the game.
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#100 Rusty1885

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 02:49 PM

View Postmvhoffman, on 16 June 2017 - 08:28 AM, said:

I know... I know... "What the :busted_cop: are you saying?"

My wife and I are both nurses.  We have, until recently, always had a day or two or three that were different thru the work week.  These days were when I normally played golf.  Then I was promoted to the M-F no weekends no holidays.  My wife still worked every other weekend so I would play on the days we were not off together.  I was able to play a decent amount of golf!

NOW...
My wife received a promotion and is M-F, no weekends, no holidays, and she is not a fan of staying home alone and has no interest in playing golf.  She was a high school and college athlete who would love golf if she gave it a chance.  She offered for me to join the local country club and I was looking forward to it until I realized that it would be a waste of money because I do not seem to be "allowed" to play golf anymore.  If she would play, we could join the club and she would want to play all of the time.

FRUSTRATING

No you don't. Not only everything will cost double now, you'll spend half your time worrying about her on the course. If you guys are not playing together(which is best), then what's the point for your situation right? Too much involvement in golf between couples can put strain on marriage.

I was about your handicap when I started playing with my ex girlfriend who was a scratch player.  That's why she's my ex, just kidding!  She did the right thing of not giving me any lessons or swing pointers.  She'd only stick with distance and direction info. If I want to learn something I just learned the shot choices and course management.

Fast forward to today, my wife is a bogey golfer who has her own pros and we play a few times a month when we walk our 3 and a half year old daughter when she caddie for both of us at the club. She practice and play on her own.

Edited by Rusty1885, 13 August 2017 - 02:53 PM.

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#101 billh17

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 05:42 PM

Like a lot of guys,my wife is my best friend...and has been since we met 55 years ago..We play golf together at least once a week,and i just
have never had the issues some of you guys are mentioning.When we get asked about it,our response is that we did not get married to
spend time apart.We enjoy each others company.  The golf is getting better and better,because our teen age gr/daughter is now a 5 handicap
and we are traveling with her to her tournaments. Great times for us !
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#102 CELTIC

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 06:16 PM

View Postbillh17, on 13 August 2017 - 05:42 PM, said:

Like a lot of guys,my wife is my best friend...and has been since we met 55 years ago..We play golf together at least once a week,and i just
have never had the issues some of you guys are mentioning.When we get asked about it,our response is that we did not get married to
spend time apart.We enjoy each others company.  The golf is getting better and better,because our teen age gr/daughter is now a 5 handicap
and we are traveling with her to her tournaments. Great times for us !

You have a teen daughter and you met your wife 55 years ago? I take it, you met your wife in high school or earlier. Good for you, that's pretty cool.

We've been married 23 years. She doesn't golf but encourages me to play as much as possible.
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#103 billh17

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 09:45 PM

View PostCELTIC, on 13 August 2017 - 06:16 PM, said:

View Postbillh17, on 13 August 2017 - 05:42 PM, said:

Like a lot of guys,my wife is my best friend...and has been since we met 55 years ago..We play golf together at least once a week,and i just
have never had the issues some of you guys are mentioning.When we get asked about it,our response is that we did not get married to
spend time apart.We enjoy each others company.  The golf is getting better and better,because our teen age gr/daughter is now a 5 handicap
and we are traveling with her to her tournaments. Great times for us !

You have a teen daughter and you met your wife 55 years ago? I take it, you met your wife in high school or earlier. Good for you, that's pretty cool.

We've been married 23 years. She doesn't golf but encourages me to play as much as possible.
  Grand/Daughter   lol

Edited by billh17, 13 August 2017 - 09:45 PM.

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#104 sonodo

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Posted 14 August 2017 - 01:06 AM

I am a fairly good golfer and take my golf seriously and I would hate to have to play with a beginner.  For now it's best she stays away or go shopping while I enjoy my golf.  I enjoy my competitive club golf.

Even on holiday, I enjoy a one ball or solo practice session.  This is my "me" time.  My wife has her own "me" time.  Everyone is different and perhaps as I get older I might encourage my wife to take up the sport.
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#105 Under2hours

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Posted 14 August 2017 - 05:50 AM

I want my spouse to golf more and just got in a fight about it.

She did a Mini-Triathlon yesterday, women only.  I was the doting husband up at 5:30 to be there and cheer her on......  Yes I am sarcastic and noted the Estrogen levels and all the men there in support, who could not participate.

Spouse hates swimming, but signed up for lessons and went 1-2 times/wk to complete the 500M swim.  

I have bought her clubs and last year lessons too at the club Fridays so I could play 9 and then we'd have dinner.  

Very happy to have her come play 9, she can sit in the cart with a book and talk, grab a bite and relax.  She claims she is too busy (yes kids are grown and she works part-time).

I don't need her obsessed about the game, and only suggest late in the day as I want to speed around too as she probably has patience for 2:30 max in any case (as do I).  Weather too needs to be perfect.

I haven't got her out once this year and of course my golf is always brought up.

I am golfing a lot, but on weekends always first off and on weekdays if not a client our charity invite, then always after 6:00 pm and only 2:30 max (and usually if she is going spinning or has plans)......

Out Thursday at a tournament (and now see rain forecast) with her and fingers crossed.


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#106 mvhoffman

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Posted 14 August 2017 - 06:06 AM

well I have an update to my original post... my wife and I were watching the PGA (she loves watching golf) and I mentioned that I'd like to start waling more frequently next year.  I asked her if she would like to come for a walk.  I said we would start out at 9 holes a few times and go from there.  she was surprisingly agreeable to that.  I even sweetened the deal by saying that we would go later in the evening and we could bring the dogs for the walk.  She was good with it!  The course by my house is a nice, yet challenging, walking course.  they will allow the dogs so it will take her mind off of being on the golf course.  I am hoping that the itch gets her like it did when she went to the range with me.  The whole "If he can do it, so can I". My wife being an athlete from grade school thru college and continuing now with softball, she can get competitive which I am banking on.
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#107 mharr

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Posted 14 August 2017 - 11:11 AM

My wife started playing golf a few years ago (after her mother passed and my wife then had a lot more free time), and I have to say it has made my time for golf more, as well as more enjoyable.

When she decided she was going to play for real (she would play once or twice every 3 years or so), she asked that I reserve Sundays to play golf with her.  I had to give up a league, but did it.  We started just by having her tee up in the fairway from 200 yds out.  Then when she felt more comfortable, moved to 250, then 300, then playing forward/ladies tees.  After two years, I convinced her to join company golf league to learn to play with others, see how others played, and more importantly, see others "problems" and traits that she would not want.  Then she really got the bug.  

She now plays her weekly work league, our Sundays, and we joined a couple Scotch Doubles league.  I've added another weekday league, so I play 4x a week.  Though I enjoyed the Sunday league I gave up, I have to say that on balance, I play more, enjoy golf more, and we do more together.  Our Sundays (in season) are spent traveling as much as 1-1.5 hours to a different course, finding a great restaurant in that area, and have a great relaxing day playing golf.  Plus, we now book 2-3 golf vacations a year to different areas that we did not do before.

Overall, a very positive turn having my wife learning to play golf.

Edited by mharr, 14 August 2017 - 11:11 AM.


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#108 manku

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Posted 14 August 2017 - 11:31 AM

Take my wife...please!

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#109 Pepperturbo

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Posted 28 August 2017 - 02:39 PM

By the way, wishing for SO to play changes the cost of golf.  Every week I play 2-3 times per week, one of those days is with my wife.  That weekend day costs about $120-$180 plus my other golf day costs or $300-$400 per week.  

Want some fun... ?   Our vacations are always centered around golf.  We play every other day or 5 days per week times 2-3 weeks; each of those rds cost $90-$250 each.  That doesn't include travel, lodging or food or fun costs.  Put a pencil to that to see what that "wish" can cost.  My golfer wife is worth every penny and a helluva lot more. :beach:

Edited by Pepperturbo, 28 August 2017 - 02:40 PM.

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#110 rcain1us

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Posted 28 August 2017 - 03:08 PM

You need to play early. My regular weekend time is 6:30. I'm often home before my wife gets out of bed


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#111 Gh05t

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Posted 28 August 2017 - 03:50 PM

my wife actually likes to golf too. very novice, but gets upset when the shot doesn't go the way she was hoping. she took a few lessons but we had a baby on the way and she stopped. kinda wish she would go back and get some more teaching, I think she could be really good if she tried. she has a lot of power but doesn't know really how to release it all, she takes the club back like she's going to crank it and then slow smooth swing thru. due to the newborn we only play once every other month or so, maybe we can get out more once he's a little older. even told her I wanted to buy her new clubs, she has a beginners set by Ram, but she said no not till she gets better.
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#112 youraway2

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Posted 28 August 2017 - 06:33 PM

Wife plays and plays well.  We've been playing since 1974 and now play at least 5-times per week, plan 12 road trips to play golf each year and she buys too much equipment.  She is a tournament and course rating team volunteer - can't get any better.  Did I say she buys too much equipment?

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#113 ryanoldroyd

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Posted 01 September 2017 - 11:05 AM

My wife will go out and hit a ball but she needs to work on that swing!  Plus with kids any more  I am lucky she even let's me get out!

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#114 Ferguson

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Posted 01 September 2017 - 12:12 PM

View PostLaymanM, on 13 August 2017 - 10:02 AM, said:

I guess this is why I will be divorced soon.  Wife didn't want to play, always gave me crap about wanting to play.   Okay for her to go do stuff with her friends but never me.  I don't wish divorce on anyone but life is too short...


That's one way to handle it.

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#115 golfer07840

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Posted 01 September 2017 - 12:51 PM

View Postchippa13, on 16 June 2017 - 11:18 AM, said:

My wife plays and now that her new job is M-F it is fantastic. More often than not she is checking the weather and asking, "where are we playing Saturday?". It also helps that we actually enjoy spending time together. I never understand couples that don't who stay together.

"It's Cheaper to keep her" -- or so I've been told.

Thankfully I'm one of the few who enjoys having her around. Our first date was supposed to be golf. But since I really stunk, and it was windy, like 25 MPH late October winds, we decided against it. Turns out, at the time, her parents were members of Pinehurst. She grew up with it.

I did have to give it up for nearly 10 years when we had our 3 daughters. She was home with them during the week and then worked weekends while I had the girls. But once they got older, I started to play more regularly in 2010. Now that 2 are in college, she comes with me a lot. She doesn't play anymore due to a bad elbow and ankle, and since she grew up with really old equipment, she'd have to relearn how to do things. She says she's content sitting in the cart and watching me get annoyed :)

Fine by me, I get to play pretty much when I want.


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#116 golfer07840

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Posted 01 September 2017 - 12:54 PM

View PostGh05t, on 28 August 2017 - 03:50 PM, said:

my wife actually likes to golf too. very novice, but gets upset when the shot doesn't go the way she was hoping. she took a few lessons but we had a baby on the way and she stopped. kinda wish she would go back and get some more teaching, I think she could be really good if she tried. she has a lot of power but doesn't know really how to release it all, she takes the club back like she's going to crank it and then slow smooth swing thru. due to the newborn we only play once every other month or so, maybe we can get out more once he's a little older. even told her I wanted to buy her new clubs, she has a beginners set by Ram, but she said no not till she gets better.

A really good friend of mine came up to me in the spring of 2013 and we had this exact conversation:

"Carm and I are expecting a baby!"
"congrats. I'll see you on the course in 10 years."
"no no no, it won't be like that at all!."

His scoring record STILL consists of scores from 2013....

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#117 Pepperturbo

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Posted 01 September 2017 - 01:13 PM

View Postgolfer07840, on 01 September 2017 - 12:51 PM, said:

View Postchippa13, on 16 June 2017 - 11:18 AM, said:

My wife plays and now that her new job is M-F it is fantastic. More often than not she is checking the weather and asking, "where are we playing Saturday?". It also helps that we actually enjoy spending time together. I never understand couples that don't who stay together.

"It's Cheaper to keep her" -- or so I've been told.

Thankfully I'm one of the few who enjoys having her around. Our first date was supposed to be golf. But since I really stunk, and it was windy, like 25 MPH late October winds, we decided against it. Turns out, at the time, her parents were members of Pinehurst. She grew up with it.

I did have to give it up for nearly 10 years when we had our 3 daughters. She was home with them during the week and then worked weekends while I had the girls. But once they got older, I started to play more regularly in 2010. Now that 2 are in college, she comes with me a lot. She doesn't play anymore due to a bad elbow and ankle, and since she grew up with really old equipment, she'd have to relearn how to do things. She says she's content sitting in the cart and watching me get annoyed :)

Fine by me, I get to play pretty much when I want.

In white collar segment, many women are making more then men these days.  Also in certain circles its becoming a topic of discussion, even concern.  :beach:

Edited by Pepperturbo, 01 September 2017 - 01:14 PM.

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Titleist 917F2, 15*, Project X7C3 Tour Issue
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Titleist 716CB 3-9, Project X 6.0
Titleist 716CB PW, Project X 5.5
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#118 golfer07840

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Posted 01 September 2017 - 01:22 PM

View PostPepperturbo, on 01 September 2017 - 01:13 PM, said:

View Postgolfer07840, on 01 September 2017 - 12:51 PM, said:

View Postchippa13, on 16 June 2017 - 11:18 AM, said:

My wife plays and now that her new job is M-F it is fantastic. More often than not she is checking the weather and asking, "where are we playing Saturday?". It also helps that we actually enjoy spending time together. I never understand couples that don't who stay together.

"It's Cheaper to keep her" -- or so I've been told.

Thankfully I'm one of the few who enjoys having her around. Our first date was supposed to be golf. But since I really stunk, and it was windy, like 25 MPH late October winds, we decided against it. Turns out, at the time, her parents were members of Pinehurst. She grew up with it.

I did have to give it up for nearly 10 years when we had our 3 daughters. She was home with them during the week and then worked weekends while I had the girls. But once they got older, I started to play more regularly in 2010. Now that 2 are in college, she comes with me a lot. She doesn't play anymore due to a bad elbow and ankle, and since she grew up with really old equipment, she'd have to relearn how to do things. She says she's content sitting in the cart and watching me get annoyed :)

Fine by me, I get to play pretty much when I want.

In white collar segment, many women are making more then men these days.  Also in certain circles its becoming a topic of discussion, even concern.  :beach:

My wife makes double what I make. It is what it is. I don't mind.

But that is how the saying goes.

28

#119 CELTIC

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Posted 02 September 2017 - 05:34 AM

View PostHatsForBats, on 21 June 2017 - 02:10 PM, said:

This past weekend there was a twosome of women behind me where the one was very attractive (heard later the other was attractive as well). Found out during the round that she had even bought a cigar in the pro shop before teeing off. The many times I looked back to catch a glimpse they were playing the regular mens tees and she could hit a ball well enough. I joked that I should go back and ask her to marry me. It would be great to find a woman I was attracted to that was down for golf but that just doesn't happen often in the Northeast USA.

The joke's on you - it was probably some dude transitioning... :taunt:
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#120 JOIslander

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Posted 02 September 2017 - 08:40 AM

It's my 10th wedding anniversary today, and my wife "let's" me golf whenever I want. She also has taken it up and had a natural swing, which is awesome considering she is far from athletic in anything else.

She hasn't graduated to a full course yet, still plugging away on executives, but I'm excited for her to do so soon. I enjoy playing with her and seeing her improve and enjoying the game more and more.


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