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Wish my wife would play...


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#61 FlyingLaw1

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Posted 19 June 2017 - 10:24 PM

I got my girl friend into golf (I bought her a beginner set for her birthday last spring). I have absolutely loved playing with her. She had to take 6 months off due to shoulder surgery but I'm absolutely amazed at how fast she is progressing. She's been on the course 4 times and is on the verge of breaking 100. She also hit a 280 yard drive. I've never been more proud of anyone (including myself) in my whole life!!


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#62 Sean2

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Posted 19 June 2017 - 11:04 PM

View Postmvhoffman, on 19 June 2017 - 10:10 AM, said:

I appreciate most of the comments on here.  Some of the "just tell her what that you're going and too bad..." comments are STUPID.  Big ProV's typing comments....  I would love my wife to play because I love spending time with my wife.

And that is all the reason you need.
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#63 jewofgolf

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with.

For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times.

I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids.

We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling.

If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)

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#64 chippa13

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 07:24 AM

Sounds likes that girl won the lottery.

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#65 bigred90gt

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 09:22 AM

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with.

For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times.

I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids.

We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling.

If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)

I've heard and seen some silly things in this life, and in relation to golf, but leaving your wife (and presumably mother of your kids) because of pushback over how much golf you play has to be up there with the best. You must be a bundle of joy to be married to dude. I feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her.


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#66 VikingSC

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 10:30 AM

Lurker here, but I felt compelled to respond to the OP in this thread.

My wife and I both had golf interest, but seldom played. I would play maybe 2-3 times a year with my dad or a 5.5 hr drinking round with the boys at the muni, and she played maybe 4 times a year in work scrambles. On a whim last June we joined a country club and golf has become a huge part of our life together. She even wants all of our vacations to be golf trips! Hello Streamsong in 2 weeks! I am now about an 11 and she a 21 after a year of playing 2-3 per week. We have made good friends with several other couples our age (early mid 30s) who also love to golf and it has become the center of our social life. We practice during the week and play a ton of golf all while spending time together.

All the young guys at my club that actually like spending time with their wives are trying to get their wives to learn the game and play more.

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#67 LeftDaddy

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 10:34 AM

View Postbigred90gt, on 20 June 2017 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with. For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times. I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids. We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling. If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)
I've heard and seen some silly things in this life, and in relation to golf, but leaving your wife (and presumably mother of your kids) because of pushback over how much golf you play has to be up there with the best. You must be a bundle of joy to be married to dude. I feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her.

Yeah...I assume there is a lot to this that he didn't post about so am trying to give benefit of the doubt.  

But, this is exactly NOT the type of relationship or "agreement" over golf that I think most folks would want.  This wife wants something from jewofgolf that he isn't giving her (and I'm sure that goes both ways).  It manifests as complaints about time spent on golf.  And their new agreement on his golf time is likely just a temporary agreement that isn't going to just be accepted.

Anyway, again, we don't know a lot about the marriage and it is none of our damn business...but I believe that these are all mutual decisions that a couple negotiates about (along with chores, money, sex, etc etc) and both partner's needs should be taken into account as best possible.  I'm fortunate to have mostly gotten to a good place with regard to all of this stuff, but it doesn't mean that I always get to play as much golf as I want.
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#68 GolfNuts4

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 11:30 AM

I am very surprised by many of these comments. I certainly do not want to judge people and their relationships but I love, love, love that my wife plays and enjoys golf. She has her girlfriends that she plays with, never gets on me about playing with the boys and we play together almost every week. I love spending time with her on the course and it is something common for us to do together. Also, I get that bonus round in with her. I would rather spend time with my wife than anyone on the planet. The fact that the time is on a golf course is such a major plus, I can't even tell you.
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#69 jewofgolf

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 11:49 AM

View PostLeftDaddy, on 20 June 2017 - 10:34 AM, said:

View Postbigred90gt, on 20 June 2017 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with. For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times. I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids. We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling. If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)
I've heard and seen some silly things in this life, and in relation to golf, but leaving your wife (and presumably mother of your kids) because of pushback over how much golf you play has to be up there with the best. You must be a bundle of joy to be married to dude. I feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her.

Yeah...I assume there is a lot to this that he didn't post about so am trying to give benefit of the doubt.  

But, this is exactly NOT the type of relationship or "agreement" over golf that I think most folks would want.  This wife wants something from jewofgolf that he isn't giving her (and I'm sure that goes both ways).  It manifests as complaints about time spent on golf.  And their new agreement on his golf time is likely just a temporary agreement that isn't going to just be accepted.

Anyway, again, we don't know a lot about the marriage and it is none of our damn business...but I believe that these are all mutual decisions that a couple negotiates about (along with chores, money, sex, etc etc) and both partner's needs should be taken into account as best possible.  I'm fortunate to have mostly gotten to a good place with regard to all of this stuff, but it doesn't mean that I always get to play as much golf as I want.

You guys are free to judge, but I have to respond.

I do value my wife and kids. I do so much for them and my life revolves around them.

But many wives start to try to take away alone time from their husbands. I won't stand for it. I do one thing only and that's golf. Let me do it, and I'll do all of the other wonderful things I do for the family. Not trying to overly praise myself, but I go well above and beyond what most husbands do.

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#70 RecidivistGOLFER

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 01:15 PM

View Postbigred90gt, on 20 June 2017 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with.

For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times.

I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids.

We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling.

If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)

I've heard and seen some silly things in this life, and in relation to golf, but leaving your wife (and presumably mother of your kids) because of pushback over how much golf you play has to be up there with the best. You must be a bundle of joy to be married to dude. I feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her.

The golf issue is probably no more than a totem, an emblem for other problems.  He did say they're in counseling.  You haven't walked a foot in his shoes, let alone a mile.  As a stand alone issue, no golf isnt a marriage ender.  But a relationship where a man can't have 6 hours to himself once a week without it becoming a fight....  yeah, there's serious problems there.

Edited by RecidivistGOLFER, 20 June 2017 - 01:16 PM.

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#71 chippa13

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 04:53 PM

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 11:49 AM, said:

View PostLeftDaddy, on 20 June 2017 - 10:34 AM, said:

View Postbigred90gt, on 20 June 2017 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with. For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times. I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids. We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling. If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)
I've heard and seen some silly things in this life, and in relation to golf, but leaving your wife (and presumably mother of your kids) because of pushback over how much golf you play has to be up there with the best. You must be a bundle of joy to be married to dude. I feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her.

Yeah...I assume there is a lot to this that he didn't post about so am trying to give benefit of the doubt.  

But, this is exactly NOT the type of relationship or "agreement" over golf that I think most folks would want.  This wife wants something from jewofgolf that he isn't giving her (and I'm sure that goes both ways).  It manifests as complaints about time spent on golf.  And their new agreement on his golf time is likely just a temporary agreement that isn't going to just be accepted.

Anyway, again, we don't know a lot about the marriage and it is none of our damn business...but I believe that these are all mutual decisions that a couple negotiates about (along with chores, money, sex, etc etc) and both partner's needs should be taken into account as best possible.  I'm fortunate to have mostly gotten to a good place with regard to all of this stuff, but it doesn't mean that I always get to play as much golf as I want.

You guys are free to judge, but I have to respond.

I do value my wife and kids. I do so much for them and my life revolves around them.

But many wives start to try to take away alone time from their husbands. I won't stand for it. I do one thing only and that's golf. Let me do it, and I'll do all of the other wonderful things I do for the family. Not trying to overly praise myself, but I go well above and beyond what most husbands do.

He doth protest too much.

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#72 LeftDaddy

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 12:53 PM

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 11:49 AM, said:

View PostLeftDaddy, on 20 June 2017 - 10:34 AM, said:

View Postbigred90gt, on 20 June 2017 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with. For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times. I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids. We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling. If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)
I've heard and seen some silly things in this life, and in relation to golf, but leaving your wife (and presumably mother of your kids) because of pushback over how much golf you play has to be up there with the best. You must be a bundle of joy to be married to dude. I feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her.

Yeah...I assume there is a lot to this that he didn't post about so am trying to give benefit of the doubt.  

But, this is exactly NOT the type of relationship or "agreement" over golf that I think most folks would want.  This wife wants something from jewofgolf that he isn't giving her (and I'm sure that goes both ways).  It manifests as complaints about time spent on golf.  And their new agreement on his golf time is likely just a temporary agreement that isn't going to just be accepted.

Anyway, again, we don't know a lot about the marriage and it is none of our damn business...but I believe that these are all mutual decisions that a couple negotiates about (along with chores, money, sex, etc etc) and both partner's needs should be taken into account as best possible.  I'm fortunate to have mostly gotten to a good place with regard to all of this stuff, but it doesn't mean that I always get to play as much golf as I want.

You guys are free to judge, but I have to respond.

I do value my wife and kids. I do so much for them and my life revolves around them.

But many wives start to try to take away alone time from their husbands. I won't stand for it. I do one thing only and that's golf. Let me do it, and I'll do all of the other wonderful things I do for the family. Not trying to overly praise myself, but I go well above and beyond what most husbands do.

I hear ya...I really do.  At one point I felt very similar to how it seems you feel.  I did (and still do) a lot for my wife and kids, provide them an amazing lifestyle, I'm always where I say I am, do my share (probably more) of work around the house, etc etc.  But it seemed that I was not getting the freedom to pursue some of that alone time I craved, or at the very least I was catching grief for it that seemed unwarranted.

BUT, I eventually grew up and realized there was something she wasn't getting in that equation, and that golf was just the manifestation of other concerns.  We hashed it all out, and I got more clarity on what she wanted from me (and also made my case clear that golf was important to me, along with a couple of other things).  That helped, and honestly I think my wife grew up a bit during that process (and so did I).  My point is that "demanding" that you are going to play your golf period just won't really end up good for you.  She's missing something, and you may find out that it isn't rational...but the point is that she feels that way and you will have to address that (or risk getting divorced or worse...being mad at each other all of the time).

It still requires some negotiating from time to time, and I definitely don't get to play all of the golf I want...BUT we have a good understanding now of what we both want / need and so we work hard to make all of that happen.
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#73 nix

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 12:55 PM

Sounds like you need a wife that let's you do what you want to do.

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#74 jewofgolf

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 01:43 PM

View PostLeftDaddy, on 21 June 2017 - 12:53 PM, said:

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 11:49 AM, said:

View PostLeftDaddy, on 20 June 2017 - 10:34 AM, said:

View Postbigred90gt, on 20 June 2017 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with. For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times. I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids. We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling. If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)
I've heard and seen some silly things in this life, and in relation to golf, but leaving your wife (and presumably mother of your kids) because of pushback over how much golf you play has to be up there with the best. You must be a bundle of joy to be married to dude. I feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her.

Yeah...I assume there is a lot to this that he didn't post about so am trying to give benefit of the doubt.  

But, this is exactly NOT the type of relationship or "agreement" over golf that I think most folks would want.  This wife wants something from jewofgolf that he isn't giving her (and I'm sure that goes both ways).  It manifests as complaints about time spent on golf.  And their new agreement on his golf time is likely just a temporary agreement that isn't going to just be accepted.

Anyway, again, we don't know a lot about the marriage and it is none of our damn business...but I believe that these are all mutual decisions that a couple negotiates about (along with chores, money, sex, etc etc) and both partner's needs should be taken into account as best possible.  I'm fortunate to have mostly gotten to a good place with regard to all of this stuff, but it doesn't mean that I always get to play as much golf as I want.

You guys are free to judge, but I have to respond.

I do value my wife and kids. I do so much for them and my life revolves around them.

But many wives start to try to take away alone time from their husbands. I won't stand for it. I do one thing only and that's golf. Let me do it, and I'll do all of the other wonderful things I do for the family. Not trying to overly praise myself, but I go well above and beyond what most husbands do.

I hear ya...I really do.  At one point I felt very similar to how it seems you feel.  I did (and still do) a lot for my wife and kids, provide them an amazing lifestyle, I'm always where I say I am, do my share (probably more) of work around the house, etc etc.  But it seemed that I was not getting the freedom to pursue some of that alone time I craved, or at the very least I was catching grief for it that seemed unwarranted.

BUT, I eventually grew up and realized there was something she wasn't getting in that equation, and that golf was just the manifestation of other concerns.  We hashed it all out, and I got more clarity on what she wanted from me (and also made my case clear that golf was important to me, along with a couple of other things).  That helped, and honestly I think my wife grew up a bit during that process (and so did I).  My point is that "demanding" that you are going to play your golf period just won't really end up good for you.  She's missing something, and you may find out that it isn't rational...but the point is that she feels that way and you will have to address that (or risk getting divorced or worse...being mad at each other all of the time).

It still requires some negotiating from time to time, and I definitely don't get to play all of the golf I want...BUT we have a good understanding now of what we both want / need and so we work hard to make all of that happen.

Thanks for this. I definitely want our marriage to succeed and your point on both people knowing what the other wants is important. I probably don't do enough asking questions on that front. I tend to continue doing what I assume is okay/wanted from her. Also, although my very direct approach might be good at work or with friends, it may not be the best at home.

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#75 marmooskapaul

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 01:48 PM

My mother in law ---" so..you going to help Donna plant flowers today?"

Me---" nope"

MIL---" why not"

Me--"that's her hobby...I don't make her do my hobby...golf or ice fish"

MIL---" well......."

Has worked for me for couple decades..and I'm serious...I don't do flowers....lol.


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#76 HatsForBats

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 02:10 PM

This past weekend there was a twosome of women behind me where the one was very attractive (heard later the other was attractive as well). Found out during the round that she had even bought a cigar in the pro shop before teeing off. The many times I looked back to catch a glimpse they were playing the regular mens tees and she could hit a ball well enough. I joked that I should go back and ask her to marry me. It would be great to find a woman I was attracted to that was down for golf but that just doesn't happen often in the Northeast USA.

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#77 Pepperturbo

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 02:45 PM

Seems there's three types of relationships..  Couples that play sports together and love it that way; couples that have completely different interests, choosing to get away from each other; and the worst IMO, wives/GF's that have NO outside interests or friends to hang with, hate being alone, so rag on their husbands about golf or other activities, pressuring the relationship/marriage.

Most of my buddy's are married to women that do not play golf and never will.  However, their wives have lots of social interests so they are good with their husbands playing golf when ever.  My wife and I like our alone time and each of us has other interests besides golf, but we're both jocks and play lots of golf together.  She's plays to an 11, plays in lots of women tournaments, and plays in most conditions.

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#78 From_Parts_Unknown

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 02:49 PM

A friend and I get into this discussion all the time.  I tell him that golfing with my wife is like working in the golf industry, it sounds great until you're working in the golf industry.  He doesn't agree with me.  He is gay and plays golf with his husband all the time, in fact they do everything together.  I tell him that it's not a fair comparison because his significant other isn't a woman.  Of course he's going to have a good time with no women around.  He basically gets to hang out with his best friend all day because he's a dude, which makes me totally jealous until you get to that one part of the story.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Edited by From_Parts_Unknown, 21 June 2017 - 02:57 PM.


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#79 hahanice

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 02:52 PM

this is hard to say without sounding like a **** but i would never not play without good reason from the wife. nor would she ever ask me without good reason. if she wanted to do something on a saturday afternoon we would just plan the day so i could find time to play. i would love it if she would have wanted to play with me but she doesnt like golf. oh well.


for the record, i dont know how i'd handle playing with my wife. we play coed soccer together (both played in college) and when things arent going well its hard to remember you are a husband first and foremost. there have been a few times where ive yelled at her (sometimes for good reason... sometimes, probably not) and then gotten home and realized its going to be a brutal rest of the day.

i am generally very happy on the golf course, but i can only imagine what it would be like if she was there on one of those days where i wanna throw a club or snap it over my knee.

theres a few couples that i play with at my club and things can get awkward at times

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#80 SixtySomePing

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 02:57 PM

View Postjewofgolf, on 20 June 2017 - 12:12 AM, said:

I'm going to pile on. Be firm with your wife about how much golf you want to play. If you have no kids, play exactly that much golf. If you do have kids, pick the minimum amount you can be happy with.

For me, it's one 18 hole round per week, every weekn no exceptions for any GD reason, ever. I also go to the range once or twice a week (bring the kids sometimes, too). I also practice at lunch during the week 2-3 times.

I would love to play more but the kids are 5 and 8. As time goes on I hope to get the 18 plus an additional 9 and more practice time, probably with the kids.

We were in marriage counseling recently and she proclaimed that I am "always gone" playing golf. She said she wishes it was less a part of my life. I responded that I am going to play MORE as time goes on. In so many words, I was ready to end the marriage over it if she was going to push. She didn't push and hasn't mentioned it since. Do not stay in a relationship where you cannot do what you enjoy. It is not worth it. Stand your ground. I would rather scrape by but be free to do what I enjoy. Thankfully, my wife understands how important golf is to me and we worked everything out. To clarify golf was not the main reason we were in counseling.

If she ever makes an issue, I just tell her I'm sorry it took so long today and ask what she wants me to make for dinner tonight. :)

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#81 chippa13

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 03:04 PM

View PostFrom_Parts_Unknown, on 21 June 2017 - 02:49 PM, said:

A friend and I get into this discussion all the time.  I tell him that golfing with my wife is like working in the golf industry, it sounds great until you're working in the golf industry.  He doesn't agree with me.  He is gay and plays golf with his husband all the time, in fact they do everything together.  I tell him that it's not a fair comparison because his significant other isn't a woman.  Of course he's going to have a good time with no women around.  He basically gets to hang out with his best friend all day because he's a dude, which makes me totally jealous until you get to that one part of the story.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Why isn't it a fair comparison? My wife is also my best friend. We have a great time on the course.

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#82 From_Parts_Unknown

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 03:06 PM

View Postchippa13, on 21 June 2017 - 03:04 PM, said:

View PostFrom_Parts_Unknown, on 21 June 2017 - 02:49 PM, said:

A friend and I get into this discussion all the time.  I tell him that golfing with my wife is like working in the golf industry, it sounds great until you're working in the golf industry.  He doesn't agree with me.  He is gay and plays golf with his husband all the time, in fact they do everything together.  I tell him that it's not a fair comparison because his significant other isn't a woman.  Of course he's going to have a good time with no women around.  He basically gets to hang out with his best friend all day because he's a dude, which makes me totally jealous until you get to that one part of the story.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Why isn't it a fair comparison? My wife is also my best friend. We have a great time on the course.

But she's female.  Can't compare male best friends to female best friends.  Apples and oranges.

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#83 chippa13

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 03:08 PM

I can't wait to hear where you go on this one. Do tell.

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#84 From_Parts_Unknown

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 03:13 PM

View Postchippa13, on 21 June 2017 - 03:08 PM, said:

I can't wait to hear where you go on this one. Do tell.

It's fairly simple one is female, the other is male.  One of them is not like the other.

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#85 chippa13

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 03:44 PM

Oh, I didn't realize that was all you've got. My bad for thinking you might provide something more, perhaps even of a humorous nature.


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#86 Psyber

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 04:54 PM

View Posthahanice, on 21 June 2017 - 02:52 PM, said:

this is hard to say without sounding like a **** but i would never not play without good reason from the wife. nor would she ever ask me without good reason. if she wanted to do something on a saturday afternoon we would just plan the day so i could find time to play. i would love it if she would have wanted to play with me but she doesnt like golf. oh well.


for the record, i dont know how i'd handle playing with my wife. we play coed soccer together (both played in college) and when things arent going well its hard to remember you are a husband first and foremost. there have been a few times where ive yelled at her (sometimes for good reason... sometimes, probably not) and then gotten home and realized its going to be a brutal rest of the day.

i am generally very happy on the golf course, but i can only imagine what it would be like if she was there on one of those days where i wanna throw a club or snap it over my knee.

theres a few couples that i play with at my club and things can get awkward at times

I can tell you how the getting angry thing will go over. I've let my girlfriend come out and ride around in the cart when I was planning to play solo. Now when I make fun of things she likes she responds with "Yeah, well you like to yell at golf clubs for fun so there's that".
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#87 GLF4EVR

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 04:54 PM

Wife & I have been together over 33 years.  No kids.  We hunt & fish together, she is my best friend.  I started playing golf again around 11 years ago.  I did not have a cart so always walked.  She liked to come out  to walk along with me.  Once I got a cart she started coming out less & less.  For a few years there was some resentment about my playing golf.  The last couple of years she has started to come out now & then.

I would love for her to want to start playing, but want it to be her decision.  Right now she has a big medical issue going on.  However the closer I get to retirement, the more I have a feeling she may want to pick it up.  Have to admit, I kind of wonder about her playing golf.  She is a perfectionist.  With how she works at things, have a fear in 3-5 years of playing that she may be giving me a run for the money.  We are both competitive by nature so it could be fun.

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#88 tyorke1

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 06:28 PM

wish I was a better man , but  I''d rather watch paint dry then play with my wife,  been there tried it and NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

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#89 Tyeetime

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 10:47 PM

I got my wife into golf recently and she has fallen in love with the game. I still play men's night and occasionally with friends, but we play a lot together and I couldn't be happier. My plans down the road include some golf travel and it will be an easy sell now!

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#90 thug the bunny

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Posted 22 June 2017 - 01:09 AM

View PostFrom_Parts_Unknown, on 21 June 2017 - 03:13 PM, said:

View Postchippa13, on 21 June 2017 - 03:08 PM, said:

I can't wait to hear where you go on this one. Do tell.

It's fairly simple one is female, the other is male.  One of them is not like the other.

So you were born in the 1800s...of course men and women aren't the same, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the same activities together, yah?

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