Jump to content

Welcome. You are currently viewing the forum as a guest which does not give you access to all the great features at GolfWRX such as viewing all the images, interacting with members, access to all forums and eligiblility to win free giveaways. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

- - - - -

Grandpa Golf Sayings


90 replies to this topic

#31 Bigarch

Bigarch

    Rookie

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 70 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 465696
  • Joined: 04/30/2017
  • Location:Herrin, IL
  • Handicap:6
GolfWRX Likes : 45

Posted 17 May 2017 - 07:10 PM

Last night I hit a shot into the green that came up about 30 feet short but still on the green. I classified it a "Liz Taylor...a little fat, but not bad."

  • Driver - Taylormade 2016 M1 10.5 Fujukura Pro 60
  • Fairway - Cobra Amp Cell 5-7 Fujikura Fuel
  • Hybrid -  Cobra Bio Cell 3-4 Fujikura +.5"
  • 5-PW- Cleveland TA7 - 3 up +1.5" KBS Tour 90
  • Wedges - 50, 54, 58, 62 Cleveland 588 RTX 588 Apollo MatchFlex +1"
  • Grips - Lamkin Crossline Ace Midsize
  • Putter - Cleveland Classic 10 Mallet 35.5" GP Tour Classic Grip

Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


Wanna get rid of this ugly yellow box? And remove other annoying "stuff" in between posts? Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

1

#32 CrushSticks

CrushSticks

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 338 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 194408
  • Joined: 07/24/2012
  • Location:Illinois
  • Ebay ID:Fawkesman3000
GolfWRX Likes : 177

Posted 17 May 2017 - 09:19 PM

My favorite. When you leave a putt short dead center.

"Had it in her mouth and her dad walked in"
Wilson Fg Tour M3- Black Ops Black Mamba
Adams Tight Lies 3-16
Adams Tight Lies 5-19(Fuji Speeder 7.2)
Wilson FG Tour V4 Utility - 3
                Wilson FG Tour M3 4-GW (Dynamic Gold XP)
                Vokey SM 09 56
Odyssey Versa 1W WBW 34"

2

#33 Bunker2Bunker0no

Bunker2Bunker0no

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 166 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 375732
  • Joined: 05/13/2015
  • Location:Va
  • Handicap:3
GolfWRX Likes : 88

Posted 18 May 2017 - 12:06 AM

We have bunch of old guys in our group that have more lines than a new ride at Disney.... (one of theirs)

When one of them gets paired with the notoriously slow player in our group...."Johnny u play golf like old people make love, slow and sloppy....and about as much fun to watch."

Before he hits on par 3, "People pay big 'freaking' money for a ticket to Augusta every year to watch crap that ain't close to being this good."

Guy in group hits a big tee ball, "Son, I wouldn't hit my ex-boss that hard, and I hated that SOB....(pause)....I lied, here is a $20 and his address, tell him Ed says night nite."

3

#34 gussie

gussie

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 271 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 117053
  • Joined: 11/04/2010
GolfWRX Likes : 69

Posted 18 May 2017 - 02:22 AM

When you miss a obviously straight putt
Call it a rock Hudson
It looked straight but it's not

4

#35 Bob Cat

Bob Cat

    Golfiopath

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 840 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 64647
  • Joined: 08/31/2008
  • Location:East Central Indiana
  • Handicap:~13
GolfWRX Likes : 182

Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:55 AM

On a less than solid drive my dad will quip: "Didn't even make it to sissy ridge!".

I love playing with that ol' fart.

Taylormade M1
TaylorMade R5 Duel (3) / R580 (7)
Ping i15 / Zing 2
Titleist Vokey SM5
TM Spider Tour Black
Callaway Chrome Soft (yellow)
Sun Mountain Four 5
Clicgear 3.5+

The Grint:  HomeRunJohnny

Posted Image

5

#36 RayGorman

RayGorman

    Rookie

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 66 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 421534
  • Joined: 04/18/2016
  • Location:Astoria, NY
  • Handicap:13
GolfWRX Likes : 48

Posted 18 May 2017 - 10:49 AM

I only had the chance to play with my Grandpa once or twice. I was 11 or 12 at the time. He beat me by 18 shots...

didn't really grab on to his tactics until after he passed...

Grampa: "What you get, son?"

Me: "six"

Grandpa: "I had a five"

6

#37 CCTxGolf

CCTxGolf

    Going to the Masters...Someday

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 391812
  • Joined: 08/18/2015
  • Location:Corpus Christi
  • Handicap:9.3
GolfWRX Likes : 170

Posted 18 May 2017 - 11:19 AM

Another good one is when somebody smokes a putt my the hole and yells "hit a member" . That cracks me up
Driver - Callaway EPIC SZ 10.5* set to 11.5*
Fairway Wood - Titleist 917 F2 16.5*
Long Iron - Ping i3 3 iron
Irons - Titleist AP2 4-PW
Wedges - Titleist SM 5 52*, Titleist SM 6 56* and 60*
Putter - Scotty Cameron Golo 5 or Odyssey Toe Up #1

7

#38 scatter

scatter

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 139 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 392568
  • Joined: 08/22/2015
  • Location:Noosa, Australia
GolfWRX Likes : 102

Posted 18 May 2017 - 03:59 PM

The old boys at the course where I grew up had a few gems but one sticks out.

*rips long fart*
"A bit more choke and I would have got that started"

That one slayed me.

8

#39 Bob Cat

Bob Cat

    Golfiopath

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 840 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 64647
  • Joined: 08/31/2008
  • Location:East Central Indiana
  • Handicap:~13
GolfWRX Likes : 182

Posted 18 May 2017 - 04:54 PM

View Postscatter, on 18 May 2017 - 03:59 PM, said:

The old boys at the course where I grew up had a few gems but one sticks out.

*rips long fart*
"A bit more choke and I would have got that started"

That one slayed me.

Nice!
I like, "that's gonna itch when it dries".
Taylormade M1
TaylorMade R5 Duel (3) / R580 (7)
Ping i15 / Zing 2
Titleist Vokey SM5
TM Spider Tour Black
Callaway Chrome Soft (yellow)
Sun Mountain Four 5
Clicgear 3.5+

The Grint:  HomeRunJohnny

Posted Image

9

#40 Carl Spackler3

Carl Spackler3

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 385 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 136528
  • Joined: 08/15/2011
GolfWRX Likes : 262

Posted 18 May 2017 - 05:25 PM

Dad on the tee, ...."Come back Shane!"


Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


Wanna get rid of this ugly yellow box? And remove other annoying "stuff" in between posts? Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

10

#41 bok006

bok006

    Sundazed marooned duffer

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 59 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 201899
  • Joined: 09/06/2012
  • Location:Caribbean
  • Handicap:6.0
GolfWRX Likes : 24

Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:28 PM

On the tee, this old timer I used to play with, tried to hide a fart in a cough. He mistimed it....... then said, "Whoa, that was a bit bubbly."

About a topped shot: "That'll run like a scolded cat."
D:Mizuno JPX900, EVO II Speeder 569
F:Mizuno JPX900, EVO II Speeder 661
H:Mizuno JPX900, Fujikura pro 73h

I:Mizuno MP-54, 4-PW, KBS tour S
W:Mizuno MP-T5, 50° 56° 62°, KBS tour S
P:Scotty Cameron Futura X 7M

B:Wilson/Staff DUO yellow

11

#42 rama5

rama5

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 322 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 1500
  • Joined: 06/09/2005
  • Location:US & Canadian Border
GolfWRX Likes : 5

Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:34 PM

View PostFerguson, on 16 May 2017 - 11:05 AM, said:

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."

now that is classic

12

#43 Chief Illiniwek

Chief Illiniwek

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,134 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 59803
  • Joined: 07/07/2008
  • Location:central Illinois
GolfWRX Likes : 1681

Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:38 PM

"Cut dog don't get no pups" after a weak fade.

13

#44 JBirdUt

JBirdUt

    Advanced

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 311 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 180076
  • Joined: 05/09/2012
  • Ebay ID:J.r.1968
GolfWRX Likes : 102

Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:38 PM

After hitting a wayward shot, "That was so bad, Jesus himself would have taken his own name in vain."

14

#45 No Catchy Nickname

No Catchy Nickname

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,699 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 383010
  • Joined: 06/28/2015
  • Location:Kyushu, Japan
  • Handicap:me
GolfWRX Likes : 2692

Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:08 AM

View PostMoleman, on 17 May 2017 - 06:23 PM, said:

Any low topped drive that doesn't get any more than one foot off the ground but still gets out a good distance is a Sally Gunnell. 'Doesn't look like much but it'll run'

(Sally Gunnell was a not particularly good looking British middle distance runner)

It was Paula Radcliffe the last time I heard it!

Also, from the same bloke, "that's an Arthur Scargill" = Good strike, poor result.

Driver: Ping G20 TFC 330D  Tour S (stock)
4w: TaylorMade R-9 Motore shaft, X-flex (stock)
7w  TaylorMade V-steel, Quadra Fire Express RB 6SX
Irons: Honma TW-U 3i, Vizard IB 105X
         MacGregor Muirfield 20th Anniversary irons: 4-PW, TrueTemper S300
Wedges: Callaway MD2 56* T-grind, DG S200
               Moz 60* DG S200
Putter: Odyssey White Hot Pro #9 (black)

15

#46 JonnyKrasnodar

JonnyKrasnodar

    Tour Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 666 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 440224
  • Joined: 09/11/2016
  • Location:UK
GolfWRX Likes : 302

Posted 19 May 2017 - 12:48 PM

"Good shot, only X yards left to the flag."

Every old guy after every topped shot.

16

#47 cwglum

cwglum

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,142 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 22234
  • Joined: 11/28/2006
GolfWRX Likes : 507

Posted 19 May 2017 - 12:49 PM

View PostCrushSticks, on 17 May 2017 - 09:19 PM, said:

My favorite. When you leave a putt short dead center.

"Had it in her mouth and her dad walked in"

eh hmmm ... I'd vote more applicable for a lip out ... if left short it was never in :taunt:

Edited by cwglum, 19 May 2017 - 12:50 PM.


17

#48 Blues Golfer

Blues Golfer

    Tour Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 560 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 40921
  • Joined: 10/16/2007
  • Location:Raleigh-Durham NC
GolfWRX Likes : 45

Posted 20 May 2017 - 06:32 AM

Played with a guy the other day who's wife missed a 3 footer. "I hate missing those" she said.

His reply was " Hell I haven't tried to make a putt that short in 20 years."

One time I was lining up an uphill-downhill putt that was about 15 feet.  The friend I was playing with was making a mess of trying to mark his ball and not step in my line and somebody else's.   Picture a slightly overweight alligator.  I finally got tired of watching him and said "dude your changing the break in the green!"

18

#49 youraway2

youraway2

    Just Old Sticks

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 899 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 25945
  • Joined: 02/24/2007
  • Location:Niceville Florida
  • Handicap:7
  • Ebay ID:youraway
GolfWRX Likes : 152

Posted 20 May 2017 - 02:41 PM

One saying I assure you we older golfers, and I'm one, hate is "get in the hole".  

But a good one and a great lesson for me was playing with a champion golfer from Utah.  I think his name was Clive, you might know him. Clive, a guy off the Hogan Tour and I were playing stroke play for $1 hole with carry overs, no presses.  I was out of my league but on 16, I stiffed one on a par three to within a couple of feet.  My first thought was I would get one here and with 10 carry overs, that's great.  Of course the young kid hit it four feet past and sucked it back to within two feet, inside mine.  As we walked up to mark our ball, I said to the young player, that's good.  He just looked at me confused.  I repeated, that's good, pick it up.  He looked over to Clive and said, hey he said this is good, to pick it up.  Clive simply responded, well, if it's good, why don't you just go ahead and tap it on in. I learned a lesson that day I'll never forget.  I also picked up a great saying for an older champion.  Thanks Clive, I'll not forget to play the ball as it lies and to play it until it is holed.

He made the putt as did I; I can't remember getting any money after the 18th hole.  But I got more, allot more.

Edited by youraway2, 25 May 2017 - 07:22 PM.


19

#50 DavePelz4

DavePelz4

    Legend

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 19,694 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 69051
  • Joined: 11/10/2008
  • Location:A golf course in the Chicago area.
  • Handicap:10.0
GolfWRX Likes : 18045

Posted 20 May 2017 - 03:27 PM

"The reason I tell you to keep your head down is you don't want to see me laughing at you now do ya?"


Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


Wanna get rid of this ugly yellow box? And remove other annoying "stuff" in between posts? Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

20

#51 Dpavs

Dpavs

    OverWRX'ed

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,918 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 133444
  • Joined: 07/18/2011
  • Location:Michigan
GolfWRX Likes : 1051

Posted 20 May 2017 - 03:49 PM

It's an old joke but it's still fun to hear when someone says something like ... "man this is a hard game."

The retort of course is... "If you think the game you are playing today is hard, you ought to try golf sometime."

21

#52 fore

fore

    Major Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,297 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 1981
  • Joined: 06/26/2005
  • Location:Hudson River Valley
  • Handicap:5.4
GolfWRX Likes : 501

Posted 20 May 2017 - 05:18 PM

When old George birdied a par 3 and we got to the next tee he would bend over and start to tee up his ball. Then he would stop, stand up straight, tee and ball still in hand and say, " oh!, any ones?"

22

#53 Jwin323

Jwin323

    Major Winner

  • ClubWRX Charter Members
  • 1,015 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 398184
  • Joined: 10/02/2015
  • Location:SoCal
  • Handicap:2
GolfWRX Likes : 593

Posted 22 May 2017 - 07:56 PM

"Your problem is you're standing too close to the ball. After you hit it."

Also, an old guy I used to play with was asked what he hit into a green. " I circumcised a 5iron in there" he said. Took a little off it.

23

#54 Bigarch

Bigarch

    Rookie

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 70 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 465696
  • Joined: 04/30/2017
  • Location:Herrin, IL
  • Handicap:6
GolfWRX Likes : 45

Posted 22 May 2017 - 08:56 PM

View Postgussie, on 18 May 2017 - 02:22 AM, said:

When you miss a obviously straight putt
Call it a rock Hudson
It looked straight but it's not

Used this one on the golf course yesterday and we subsequently decided that a straight putt that sure didn't look straight, should be called a "Neil Sedaka"
  • Driver - Taylormade 2016 M1 10.5 Fujukura Pro 60
  • Fairway - Cobra Amp Cell 5-7 Fujikura Fuel
  • Hybrid -  Cobra Bio Cell 3-4 Fujikura +.5"
  • 5-PW- Cleveland TA7 - 3 up +1.5" KBS Tour 90
  • Wedges - 50, 54, 58, 62 Cleveland 588 RTX 588 Apollo MatchFlex +1"
  • Grips - Lamkin Crossline Ace Midsize
  • Putter - Cleveland Classic 10 Mallet 35.5" GP Tour Classic Grip

24

#55 Bigrome26

Bigrome26

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 139 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 262388
  • Joined: 07/07/2013
  • Location:Oak Harbor, WA
  • Handicap:6
GolfWRX Likes : 56

Posted 25 May 2017 - 12:06 AM

Mentioned this in a prior post, but still laugh every time I think about it. Topped an 8 iron that still rolled on to the green an the old man I was paired with says with a strong Texas draw, "That right there boy is a sister-in-law shot!" Of course I ask what that meant and he quickly replied, "You're on top and it feels damn good, but you know you shouldn't be son!"

Taylormade M2 9.5 (Set at 10.5) Fujikura Motore Speeder 661X Evo II Tour Spec
Taylormade M2 3HL Aldila RIP Alpha 90X
Taylormade M1 2 Hybrid (19 degrees) Aldila RIP Alpha 105X
Cobra Amp Forged 4-PW PX 6.5 (Hardstepped Once, +1/2")
Cobra Tour Trusty 54 and 60 Wedges  KBS Black Nickel Wedge 130X
Odyssey Metal-X Milled #1
Taylormade Lethal Ball


"That right there was a sister-in-law shot... you're on top, it feels good, but you know you shouldn't be!"

  - Random old guy in Texas

25

#56 Bigrome26

Bigrome26

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 139 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 262388
  • Joined: 07/07/2013
  • Location:Oak Harbor, WA
  • Handicap:6
GolfWRX Likes : 56

Posted 25 May 2017 - 12:09 AM

View PostBigarch, on 22 May 2017 - 08:56 PM, said:

View Postgussie, on 18 May 2017 - 02:22 AM, said:

When you miss a obviously straight putt
Call it a rock Hudson
It looked straight but it's not

Used this one on the golf course yesterday and we subsequently decided that a straight putt that sure didn't look straight, should be called a "Neil Sedaka"

Had a buddie's caddy line up his putt calling it a Lance Armstrong. Looking puzzled, was quick to explain, "Aim one ball left."
Taylormade M2 9.5 (Set at 10.5) Fujikura Motore Speeder 661X Evo II Tour Spec
Taylormade M2 3HL Aldila RIP Alpha 90X
Taylormade M1 2 Hybrid (19 degrees) Aldila RIP Alpha 105X
Cobra Amp Forged 4-PW PX 6.5 (Hardstepped Once, +1/2")
Cobra Tour Trusty 54 and 60 Wedges  KBS Black Nickel Wedge 130X
Odyssey Metal-X Milled #1
Taylormade Lethal Ball


"That right there was a sister-in-law shot... you're on top, it feels good, but you know you shouldn't be!"

  - Random old guy in Texas

26

#57 newoodky

newoodky

    Newbie

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 27 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 468692
  • Joined: 05/22/2017
  • Location:Michigan
  • Handicap:3
GolfWRX Likes : 40

Posted 25 May 2017 - 11:01 AM

Nothing too clever but:

Me: Leaves a 20 footer eight feet short.

Him: "Nice putt Bon Jovi"

Me: "Bon Jovi?"

Him: "Yea....Half way there"

Another one:

Me: Water in front of the green.  Chunk a shot that is clearly going to go into the water

Him: "Get there"

27

#58 jimb6golf

jimb6golf

    Tour Winner

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 964 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 135116
  • Joined: 08/03/2011
  • Location:Eastern MA
GolfWRX Likes : 208

Posted 26 May 2017 - 07:49 PM

View Postscatter, on 18 May 2017 - 03:59 PM, said:

The old boys at the course where I grew up had a few gems but one sticks out.

*rips long fart*
"A bit more choke and I would have got that started"

That one slayed me.

That one got me laughing so hard.  An oldie but a goodie.

28

#59 thug the bunny

thug the bunny

    The past we can't change. The future we can't predict.

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,725 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 251822
  • Joined: 05/21/2013
  • Location:Jersey
  • Handicap:8.2
GolfWRX Likes : 8673

Posted 26 May 2017 - 09:54 PM

There's some great ones in this thread. Made me realize that these jokes and sayings are the result of having been around a while. It takes time to acquire these gems and then pass them down to the young ones. That's why you don't usually hear younger golfers come up with that kind of commentary. That's why I usually like playing with older golfers, you get a perspective that only comes with a lot of experience.

One I heard from playing with 3 guys recently, all around my age, and constantly needling each other. One of them spazzes on a 12 ft putt and leaves it 5 ft short and off line, and his buddy says, "How did that not go in?" I probably use that one once every round.

Edited by thug the bunny, 26 May 2017 - 09:55 PM.

So there is really only here and now

29

#60 Bunker2Bunker0no

Bunker2Bunker0no

    Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 166 posts
  •  
  • Member #: 375732
  • Joined: 05/13/2015
  • Location:Va
  • Handicap:3
GolfWRX Likes : 88

Posted 26 May 2017 - 10:42 PM

Other than the speed and the line, that was a great putt


Remove This Advertisement Viewing As Guest

    GolfWRX Forums

    Advertisement


Wanna get rid of this ugly yellow box? And remove other annoying "stuff" in between posts? Create a FREE GolfWRX account here.

30



5 user(s) are reading this topic

1 members, 4 guests, 0 anonymous users


    rwl21

GolfWRX Sponsors