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Someone's lyin' about their golf game when they....


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#61 bubbagumpshrimp

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 09:50 AM

I just tell people that I suck ahead of time.  Set the expectations low so that people will never be disappointed.


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#62 AceCatKY

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 10:03 AM

Had this happen last week with a guy I got paired up with.

He starts by talking about all of his scores recently "yeah bro I shot 75, 73, 77 last week".

A few holes in he is slapping it around and then I'm hit with the "man I just don't score well here, I play better at Course X where its harder."

At the turn; " Idk whats up today, I was hitting all the flags at the range yesterday".

End of the day: he cards a 99 and I shot 77 which wasn't great but was just glad to get the round over with. Even after the round he would not stop with all the talk of "this course is too easy, I cant focus enough to score well" okayyyy.
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#63 2putttom

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 10:08 AM

View Post8thehardway, on 09 May 2017 - 03:10 PM, said:

Golf's too hard to tell the truth. Sorta like life.
life is like a box of chocolates.... and so is my game.
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#64 eHawleywood

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 10:27 AM

View PostSixtySomePing, on 10 May 2017 - 05:54 AM, said:

I pulled a back muscle moving a couch for my buddy, so my drives probably won't be as long today....

I had a soccer coach in high school who would drop this every time he was trying to demonstrate something and screwed up.  Just immediately grabbed his back and said "ah this old back injury".  Ten minutes later he'd be running with us again.  A classic blame, I suppose
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#65 Lenny7

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 11:10 AM

When they shoot better than me.


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#66 1t2golf

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 12:14 PM

Topic cleaned up.

Forum rules prohibit the discussion of politics.
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#67 Shakester

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 12:34 PM

View Postbubbagumpshrimp, on 11 May 2017 - 09:50 AM, said:

I just tell people that I suck ahead of time.  Set the expectations low so that people will never be disappointed.

Thats what I do too.  I usually play with my brother and people always seem to ask about our handicap. I usually tell them my handicap is my swing and that I suck.  Or that my handicap is my wife since she won't let me practice as much as I would like.   It takes the pressure off me too and I can just relax knowing there aren't much expectations.
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#68 Pepperturbo

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 02:05 PM

View Postbubbagumpshrimp, on 11 May 2017 - 09:50 AM, said:

I just tell people that I suck ahead of time.  Set the expectations low so that people will never be disappointed.

:clapping: I know lots of people like that... :beach:
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#69 Chris Wedgie

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 07:20 PM

View PostDanm2501, on 11 May 2017 - 07:12 AM, said:

Posted Image

......shoot 127 in a US Open Qualifier.

Ouch.

Wow, is that real? I always encourage trying but.......it's just not your thing :)

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#70 breakingbad

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Posted 11 May 2017 - 07:34 PM

View PostFerguson, on 09 May 2017 - 11:46 AM, said:

Played with a guy a few weeks ago who "tagged" himself as an "8.............from the tips."  
I introduced myself as a "7.8...............from Virginia."
  • Blatant ignorance about the HC system = lies.


The mysterious back pains or stomach cramps that show up after a few bad holes, then fade away after a few pars.  
  • Fake Injuries = lies.


The ball that is found in the woods with opening to the fairway, on an area cleared of debris...................absolutely amazing.
  • The found ball = lies.


Wow.  This nailed it


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#71 Danm2501

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 03:15 AM

View PostChris Wedgie, on 11 May 2017 - 07:20 PM, said:

View PostDanm2501, on 11 May 2017 - 07:12 AM, said:

Posted Image

......shoot 127 in a US Open Qualifier.

Ouch.

Wow, is that real? I always encourage trying but.......it's just not your thing :)

Oh, it's real:

http://www.bbc.co.uk...t/golf/39892101

Plays off 1.4 apparently. Must have had a real bad day!
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#72 Nvd13

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 06:39 AM

View PostThrillhouse, on 09 May 2017 - 08:28 PM, said:

View Postxoted, on 09 May 2017 - 08:19 PM, said:

View PostSean2, on 09 May 2017 - 05:49 PM, said:

View PostSixtySomePing, on 09 May 2017 - 11:02 AM, said:

Ok, they're out there, they lie about their game, their shots, their equipment, where they've been, who they've met or played with, or they potentially will make up lies some day, so you know they're coming... what did they or will they lie about when it comes to golf?

I don't know what they get out of it. For one thing, they know it's not true, for another most people simply don't care.

I think some people just go through life lying about themselves to others, and golf is just one aspect of it.

The women they hooked up with, what they paid for their car, how they're not financially distressed, their salary, etc.

Did you see thrillhouse running around the forums bragging about talking the dealer down to $28,000 for his brand new Honda Odyssey? No, you didn't, he could have, but thrillhouse is too humble.

What I've learned over the years
People over pay for their house
Under pay for their car
And always drive the ball 270-280 with the swing speed of 110-120.
What I don't understand is when have a round together I'm only 10-20 yards behind them all day.... I hit the ball 220.

Edited by Nvd13, 12 May 2017 - 06:43 AM.


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#73 Ferguson

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 08:57 AM

View PostAceCatKY, on 11 May 2017 - 10:03 AM, said:

Had this happen last week with a guy I got paired up with.

He starts by talking about all of his scores recently "yeah bro I shot 75, 73, 77 last week".

A few holes in he is slapping it around and then I'm hit with the "man I just don't score well here, I play better at Course X where its harder."

At the turn; " Idk whats up today, I was hitting all the flags at the range yesterday".

End of the day: he cards a 99 and I shot 77 which wasn't great but was just glad to get the round over with. Even after the round he would not stop with all the talk of "this course is too easy, I cant focus enough to score well" okayyyy.


Anyone that uses one of those “trying to be cool” terms  in any variation during an initial greeting on the tee in golf is probably a liar.  

The "terms" include, but are not limited to: Bro, Brah, Cap'n, Chief, Coolbreeze, Spanner, Tanner, Clando, Milkweed, Money, Buddy Roe, Mando, Bud, Pal-O, Cheeseman, Headso, Clipper, Squirrel, Pole Cat, Big Dog, Cheeks, or Moon Apple.

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#74 isaacbm

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 09:34 AM

Played with Thrillhouse yesterday and got paired with a single.  Super nice guy.  I mean awesome really.  We go for 17 holes and just had a blast and then out of nowhere this conversation happens:

Him "I can't believe how you guys hit it over 300 on every drive.  It amazes me."  ( not one drive over 290 was hit all day.  Thrillhouse was hitting 3 wood 250 most shots and I only hit driver on a couple of  holes because the course was only 6300 yards.  I did hit a cart path once and maybe got it out there to 300 on that shot...)

Me " Well in Calgary, the elevation can add a few yards..."  (just trying to be nice)

Him " I know! it's like when I'm doing sets of 300 lbs on the bench.  It's so much easier to do them in Ontario then in Alberta.  (this guy was 5'8", 320 pounds, and hadn't lifted more than a bag of Doritos in years) Same with squats... reps of 500 way easier there then here! "

Me " ........ "

Him " You know what I mean? "

Me " I guess it must be easier to lift because the weights are lighter the closer you get to the center of the earth?"

Him " Could be... "

Thrillhouse to me " What in the sweet f%&K? "

Me " This went sideways fast "

Powerlifter " You guys need anymore beer for the last hole?"


Regardless, still had a great day!

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#75 chas521

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 10:03 AM

View Postumassgolfer, on 09 May 2017 - 12:52 PM, said:

"Oh man...I can't believe how poorly I'm playing - seriously, this is my first round of the year. I'm usually in the upper 70's"

Sure he plays in the upper 70's but when it gets colder he doesn't play at all!


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#76 Ferguson

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 10:37 AM

Love this one.  Guy makes double and coming off the green he says, I have a buddy that's a scratch player.  

Like that somehow makes this guy's bad game........better?

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#77 needfasp3ed

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 01:29 PM

... Are at the bar.

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#78 tatertot

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 04:49 PM

View PostDanm2501, on 12 May 2017 - 03:15 AM, said:

View PostChris Wedgie, on 11 May 2017 - 07:20 PM, said:

View PostDanm2501, on 11 May 2017 - 07:12 AM, said:

Posted Image

......shoot 127 in a US Open Qualifier.

Ouch.

Wow, is that real? I always encourage trying but.......it's just not your thing :)

Oh, it's real:

http://www.bbc.co.uk...t/golf/39892101

Plays off 1.4 apparently. Must have had a real bad day!

Bad day ... Like an arm fell off on the range and he decided to tough it out?
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#79 Yuck

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 07:10 PM

When I play with someone new, they think I am a sandbagger......Until they add up my score.

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#80 Brock Landers

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 10:04 AM

View Postnix, on 09 May 2017 - 11:59 AM, said:

View PostJack Pearsall, on 09 May 2017 - 11:42 AM, said:

...when you see their driver and it has momentous crown marks, but yeah, you hear how they bomb it...in fifteen years, JP has never had a crown mark on any wood...

...they carry a ball in their pocket all the time during play...sorry, you are probably going to cheat at some point, which is, you know, something that happens...

Their neck skin is pasty. You can't play and be pasty, sorry. Not even an Irishman.

..When they say that their driver doesn't have crown marks.  They ALL have them.

Also, I always carry a ball in my pocket because i am very liable to lose a ball and I'm not about to hold up play to go back to the cart to get a ball.
I always have a ball in my pocket, and believe me if it were to cheat I would never shoot 108, or average 103.

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#81 Jack Pearsall

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 11:26 AM

JP's drivers and woods do not have sky marks, for the record.
His TM 580 was sky marked when he lent it to a friend. JP told him could keep the club, but did not say why till now.

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#82 bullie76

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 12:36 PM

I played a round with Jack Nicklaus last week. He shot 77 and I had a 72. Enjoyed his company. :)
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#83 JonnyKrasnodar

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Posted 13 May 2017 - 05:10 PM

...Had an "injury" that stopped them turning pro. Heard that one today. Pro shanker maybe. Golfer definitely not.

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#84 aliikane

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Posted 14 May 2017 - 01:20 AM

Was playing at a course as a single about 10 years ago. The course is rated one of the hardest courses on the west coast. A guy behind me catches up to me and asks to join. I said fine. Long hair and looked like a Kenny G. He told me that he plays on the Nationwide Tour and made a sizable check a few weeks ago and is playing in another Nationwide tournament in a couple weeks. Right after his first shot, I was thinking "no way is this guy a Nationwide Tour" guy. After playing with him for a few holes, he was at best maybe a 12 handicap and that is still stretching it. He was hitting it all over the place and swing looked like a 20 handicapper.

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#85 CallawayLefty

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Posted 14 May 2017 - 12:06 PM

My favorite are the scratch golfers at my club who are mysteriously out of town for every single stroke play club championship.


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#86 Greenie

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Posted 14 May 2017 - 12:41 PM

I had a guy at work that told everyone he was a low 70's shooter. He wouldn't brag about his scores but I would always ask what he shot the last time he played. Oh 72,75,76 etc. The funny thing no one could get him to come out and play with the rest of us. We always thought he didn't want to waste his time with us hacks. Finally someone got him to play with us. He shot a 95 and got pissed off. Shortly after that I went to the course he always played and found out it was a pitch and putt kind of thing. The next day at work when I saw him I told him I shot a 73. He just laughed and said yea right..I said I sure did. I stopped by your home course and played. His face got red as a beet. He never lied but certainly failed to mention the type of course he was playing on.

Me I don't lie either. My neighbor sees me come home from golfing and says how did you do. I'll say no bogeys today and walk on..Under my breath I'm thinking all those doubles really killed me though.

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#87 Ferguson

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 05:14 AM

Same guy: I just got a lesson and it's throwing my game off today.
The thyroid must be acting up, again.

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#88 bubbagumpshrimp

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 07:32 AM

View PostFerguson, on 12 May 2017 - 10:37 AM, said:

Love this one. Guy makes double and coming off the green he says, I have a buddy that's a scratch player. Like that somehow makes this guy's bad game........better?

I'm a scratch player too...once the mosquitos start coming out.

View PostShakester, on 11 May 2017 - 12:34 PM, said:


View Postbubbagumpshrimp, on 11 May 2017 - 09:50 AM, said:

I just tell people that I suck ahead of time. Set the expectations low so that people will never be disappointed.
Thats what I do too. I usually play with my brother and people always seem to ask about our handicap. I usually tell them my handicap is my swing and that I suck. Or that my handicap is my wife since she won't let me practice as much as I would like. It takes the pressure off me too and I can just relax knowing there aren't much expectations.

My usual line is something along the lines of "most people wouldn't call what I do golfing."

Edited by bubbagumpshrimp, 15 May 2017 - 07:35 AM.


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#89 Ferguson

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 08:00 AM

Lost my concentration after misplacing an iron cover back on 3.

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#90 Ferguson

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 01:46 PM

Played in a scramble, kept my own score - and shot a 68.

Edited by Ferguson, 15 May 2017 - 01:46 PM.


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