What is your favorite stupid saying??
Mine is never up, never in. Whenever I blow a putt by the hole, I always say to my buddies, hey at least I gave it as chance!

"you're away!"

LOL yeah baby!!!!

I'm so tired of 'nice putt Alice'

I don't think it was ever funny...maybe we should change it to Pam

Good one!


I just chant USA,USA when my friends are short. "U Still Away".

You can't birdie them all if you don't birdie the first.....

My favorite saying to piss off my oponent when playing for money....as his ball is heading towards water or OB...."Be as good as you look! "

When my opponent leaves a putt hanging short on the lip...."Why didn't you just throw your purse at it? "

As my opponent is looking hard for a lost ball in the woods....."You scream out, Titlest with a pen mark?....too bad this one is a Pinnacle! "

When your opponent doesn't concede a short putt...."I better be careful I don't accidently pump it in the hole when addressing it! "

When your opponent rolls one close, and asks "is that good?".....your reply, "Not bad! "

When your opponent asks for shots on the 1st tee...you reply, "Put your money on the table, or learn to play better! "

When your opponent asks how much you want to play for, your reply, "How much is it going to take to make you nervous? "

"That'll play" ......"Could of been worse"......."Not one of your best, but"

...so much better than the 'Alice' line

I love Danielle's new saying...."couldn't missed it any closer."

On the other hand, the next guy I hear say "That's golf" or "get in the hole" get's it.

No pictures on the scorecard...is a favorite of mine.

Just about any of the Caddyshack quotes brought to the course. Still make me laugh.

when you leave a putt short your already pissed then you hear "that was right on line" or "does your husband play".

Wow, one to bring back from the dead.

Me and my friends are always calling things, mainly on putts left short. For example:

Did you get your putter caught up in your skirt there?
Bra strap a little tight?
[while pointing at the ground where the ball was] You've dropped your lipstick there mate

Alternatively, just say something like "sponsored by Revlon"

When golf commentators (announcers in the US) say "He'll want to get this close" or something like that.

Gee, I thought he wanted to miss the green or hit it in the water.

Drive smoked down the fairway "That dog will hunt", "Missed it just a little"

Putt left short "Are you sporting pink panties today"

When its payoff time after a round and money is exchanged "shank you very much"

When Negotiating the amount of the wager before the match and you want to up the stakes "baby needs a new pair of shoes" or " come on guys I've got kids to put though school" or "hope you boys brought your check book"


When looking for a lost ball that is surely lost "no use chasing a dead dog"

from Danielle: "Come on baby" I swear I could chucked my plasma out the window when she opened her mouth!

My LEAST favorite is "That's one" right after a guy accidentally knocks the ball off the tee with his driver. That saying is so out of gas.

Especially since it's not one.

It is quite good fun saying two when someone puts it back on the tee though.

Other than distance and direction, I don't know what kept that one out of the hole.

Upon missing a Putt, to your opponent - "That was a perfect putt except for line and distance"

Here's the List:

When I hit one long....guys say, "that there's a Linda Ronstadt," and after I give them a puzzled look they say, "Blue Bayou," and look at me like I don't know good music.

Another one I hear from this old guy I occassionally play with, "Ah, another Thurman Munson." After scratching my head he states, "A dead yank."

Here's what you say to your buddies when they pop one up off the tee..."That's an elephants butt-hole......it's straight up and it stinks."

For those of you who are chunckers out there, "You hit the big ball before you hit the little ball. It's suppose to be the other way around."

When you've putted the ball too hard, say "spin"

If someone is struggling on a hole and they have no chance of winning the hole(if your playing for money) say: "pick it up before you hurt yourself!!" This is hilarious if said at the right moment!!

After someone hits an ugly tee shot that somehow finds the fairway:

"That one is like banging you sister...it's out there but you're not very proud of it."

"BITE!!!" or my favorite "Get right (or left)!!, but nothin beats the classic Happy Gilmore line "You spend more time on the beach than David Hasselhoff"

putts left short:

is your G-string too tight today?

Lipped out putt:

Another Lewinski. All lip, no hole.

Don't really have a favorite......I know one I hate....."Damn, it sure did look good in the air".....

"That was a condom shot. Safe, but it didn't feel very good"

"The best two balls I hit all day were when I stepped on the rake"

I know where you are coming from. Just listen to Euan Murray for a while and you will get heeps of examples. My personal favourite is "well out" when someone chaps it out of the trees. Or in other words "you shouldn't have hit it there in the first place".

Leaving a putt within an inch or so of the front lip..."ah..an Italian putt...waiting for another revolution"

On the same line as:

"That putt looked good ...... until you hit it!"

Although, I just hate when people talk to my ball. Especially when people say "nice putt" before it goes in the hole and then it misses the hole by inches.

"That was a brith control swing"

Another words...pulled out of it to soon.

I was playing with my dad today. Twice, he said great putt before the ball got to the hole. Both times it was dead centre. Both times it missed. I am 100% convinced that the reason it missed was the shout of good putt before the ball got to the hole.

hitting a putt way too hard:

"hit a house!"

"that dog will hunt"
and ive played with some that will say "cut,cut" when it is clearly hooking with no chance of coming back at the target

I have a few

"jc penny's called your purse is in"
"the flower shop called your pansys are in"
"does your husband play"

I'm a huge fan of "That'll Play". It's espechially good after someone shanks or tops a shot, or even after a horrible putt.

When someone putts on the green and comes up woefully short:

"You know, from that lie you had there, it was smart of you to lay up".

That saying IS so out of gas but I kinda like, "it ain't far but it's straight" for the same occurance.

Gotta love the "I see all that hard work is paying off" when someone snap hooks one into the trees. Or in similar vein to teecad, when someone knocks the ball off the tee, "Working on your accuracy these days are you?"

When someone lips a putt in and they say " I guess thats why they make'em round." Thats so bad.

Next time tell him: "keep your mouth off my golf ball."

When some-one tops it but the ball still travels are fair distance along the deck you will normally here the shout of "Sally" as in Sally Gunnell i.e bloody ugly but a great runner....

I suppose Michael Johnson would work for those in the US....