Alright....this is starting to bug me because its starting to happen too often. What are your opinions on this?

I play a threesome frequently. Its me and two close friends. We've been playin together for years and we're not looking for a 4th.

Too often, there seems to be a ONESOME that comes up on the first tee or somewhere on the course that has the nuts to say "Hey, mind if I play with you guys"? Me and my buddies are pretty friendly guys but if we wanted to play a foursome we'd have called another friend.

I just can't see me havin the nuts to walk up to 3 strangers and asking if they care if I "horn" in on their game.

Whats with the "onesomes"? What gives them the gall to even ask?

Me and my buddies figure if a single can't find anybody to golf with....especially on the weekend.... there's probably a reason.

Anybody have any opinions on this or should we be forced to play with a stranger even though we didn't "invite" him to be a part of our group?

Keep in mind....this isn't someone from the clubhouse sending these ONESOMES out to pair up with us....its the ONESOMES themselves.

JW

Just tell him politely, that we already have a threesome...

I golf with the same 4 some almost every week but, there is a total of 8 of us that always play. Most people have lives and families and our schedules don't always mix up. I play as a single a good bit but, never ask to join anyone cause I don't mind playing solo. If someone asked for me to join I more than likely would.

Nice attitude... I bet you and your buddies would be tons of fun to join up with

I think you missed the whole point in my post.

JW

There are a lot of us who like to play, and the people we know who play cannot get out alot of the times we do, so we show up at the course by ourselves. I personally dont understand your mentality. Are you so stuck on yourself and insecure with yourself that you must shut out everyone you dont know? Have you had that many bad experiences playing with someone you did not "invite" to be in your company? Perhaps it is you, and not them? I've played with a lot of different people on the course, being that I do go by myself a bunch. Thankfully, I have not run into anyone as rude as you. Most people have no problem letting someone play with them.

You could always offer to let the individual tee it up first and go through. Or, you could do the kind thing and offer to have him play along with you. Why hold up other groups by having a single between your group and a 4-some behind?

I don't see how a single would "horn in" on your round. As to you saying that there must be a "reason" for someone playing alone I think that is rather presumptuous on your part. Jeez, just let the guy play along. You don't have to become his pal.

Once again.....I think you missed the whole point of my post.

JW

if you really hate strangers joining you on the course, you should show up as a 4some

you have no right to avoid people joining you if you're not a full group


I'm not sure why it's so bad to have someone join you though

No, I got the point... you want to play on the weekend, which is the busiest time of the week on the golf course, and you think that a single has 'gall' to ask to join up with you. It's golf.. It's a friendly game that is normally played in foursomes when the course is busy. Why are you judging them? They just want to play some golf and the easiest thing to do is join up with a threesome. It sucks trying to play as a single on the weekend. I hope you don't radiate this kind of hostility in person when someone asks to join you.

The whole thing sounds a bit off.

Is anyone really READING what I posted???....

JW

Yeah, we're reading it... it's just that you're mistaken in thinking we're actually going to agree with you...

Golf a lot by your self???

Actually, I'm pretty sure you'll find yourself the odd man out on this one. I find a single who's willing and wanting to play with strangers to be much more sociable than a couple xenophobes (not you, necessarily) who only feel comfortable within the confines of their friendships. You are, afterall, the one who insists on calling them "ONESOMES" instead of the regular "singles", making particular note of their antisocial personalities (see: having gall and "there's probably a reason").

I often play by myself because i practice 4-5 days a week, and although i don't mind playing by myself its often nice to have company to talk to. I usually tee it up with my brother atleast once a week but he hurt his back about a week ago and will be out for a while.

This week I joined up with a couple of groups and one single and we all had a good time as a matter of fact they want me to give them a call now if im going to play and have no one to play with.

Probably because im a Stud on the course, but i believe this is a part of golf having that connection with others and meeting new people.

One of the guys i met who was a single, owns a 10 shoe stores and gets ecco and adidas golf shoes for free and he said if i played with him more and got to know him he would hook me up, nice for me. Also he said if we became good friends he would be willing to sponsor me on mini tours. Im 18 and he was 32 and we got along.

I have met plenty of nice people out on the course, soldiers, teaching pro's, business owners etc.

IDK where your from but here in Texas we all welcome people to join, so don't be one of those a holes.

Wow.....that wasn't the point at all but read into it whatever you think you can get by with. GEEZ...dude...who you tryin to BS !!!

If you think we are all misunderstanding what you were trying to say, perhaps say what you mean then. Reading the OP, you are saying you are put off by someone asking to join your 3some. You cant believe they have the gall to do so, and there must be something wrong with them because they are at the course by themselves. Is this what you were intending to say in the OP? If so, you have a piss poor attitude, and I cant understand why you expect everyone here, who for the most part are gentlemen playing a gentlemen's game, to agree with you.

Nope....Onesomes is what we call people who play by themselves here. Its not a derogatory statement

I often golf alone (no need to ask) becuase the people I play with can't always go with me. It makes no sense to send a single out behind a threesome, or a single out in front of a threesome on a busy day - then you will be complaining about slow play.

As people mentioned, find a fourth if you want your own group. Or you could pay for the spot in your foursome if you are that against playing withsomeone else.

Yeah, it's something you call people who play by themselves, and you use all-caps whenever you type it out, and stereotype these people as not being able to find people to play with, but it's not derogatory.

Any questions as to whether yours was an attitude or communication problem are answered with each of your posts. Next time, don't ask for opinions if you're just wanting people to agree with you. If that's what you're wanting, go have some beers with your regular threesome.

I dont see what the big deal is, joining up in a game of golf with a single. I often play with the same group (10-12 guys) but we also play or get paired up with singles sometimes, its just the way it is. I often will have a blast playing with people I dont know and create new friends that way too. When I joined my home course I didnt know anyone there, now I have 10-12 guys I can call friends. I think its the other way and the OP is the one who is unsociable, not the singles.

No, but I think you missed the point of his.

Wrong again but I got what I expected.....Lemming posts

Geez, I occasionally go out on the course as a SINGLE because my friends can't always play with me. Thankfully, I haven't run into anyone like you on the course that have shunned me for coming to the course alone. Golf is great because it's an awesome way to meet people from all walks of life.

So what's wrong with having a stranger join up with you and your buddies? You don't have to talk to them, maybe just a "nice shot" or whatever. I think this closed minded attitude gives golfers a bad name and fits the typical stereotype of being "stuck up."

Seems like pretty much everyone disagrees with you on here so far and you keep responding with, "you missed the whole point of my post" and nothing else, explain what you mean then.

Your title already set the tone. The last response is not going to win anyone over.

Is it that much easier for you to write everyone else's opinion off as being wrong than to accept that you're more than a teensy bit close-minded. That you're resorting to name-calling should be indicator enough to you, but guess not. Might be a good time for a less-than-graceful exit if this is the behavior you expected anyway. Take care.

Please help us understand what you really meant. You've had 10 different people disagree and all you can say is they didn't get the point. What exactly was the point, that you alone understand and all the rest of us are missing?

I tend to believe that if you don't round out your foursome, expect the unexpected. In my world...that translates to someone joining the group as a single, twosome, etc. As much as I may have liked to play with just my one or two friends, it's unrealistic to think that the phantom spot/spots will remain open at the expense of holding up the rest of the course. Whether it's a ranger looking to speed up play or it's someone that's trying to do it themselves...it just makes sense from a pace of play perspective. As far as a single joining a group for other reasons...some people are just not lucky enough to always find friends available to play. It's a gentleman's game...offer he/she the spot and hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised with their game, personality, etc. Otherwise...fill the foursome.

Alright....this is starting to bug me because its starting to happen too often. What are your opinions on this?

Seems like you've solicited the opinions of folks, but you find it difficult to accept them?

I often play as a single during the winter months, but mostly as part of a 3 in the summer and as a 3 you dont have a choice when the pro shop sends a single to join you during prime time.

As already suggested, either play as a 4 or open your mind to meeting new people who share the same love for the game as you.

You say you're not trying to be derogatory but look at you're title: "ONESOMES...find your own friends!!!"
I'd say that is derogatory implying or insinuating that singles cant find friends or dont have any friends. I play alone alot during the weekdays but on the weekends...i usually play with family/friends. Golf is a great way to network or make friends and I have made good friends with random people or people who work on the course or golf stores. Golf is more than a game...it's about building friendships and meeting new people good or bad. If you dont want a single to join your group, then do what the other people here suggested by either paying for the 4th spot, politely saying that you'd rather play as a 3-some, or invite them to play. It's that simple. You say that everyone here is missing the point yet you have not stated your central theme to this post. Please do and enlighten us with you're true meaning to this post as all of us are baffled by what you reall "mean".

Also you say that you wouldnt have the nuts to ask to join a threesome...well therein lies the problem. It seems to me a lack of self confidence or introvert tendencies. Maybe you should "grow a pair" by decling the single or going out by yourself and put yourself in their shoes and see how it must be hard to ask to join a group that you dont even know.

Just callin it how I see it...not trying to be disrespectful.

jwknow,
Looks like you think that most people are misunderstanding you, so I have a couple of questions for you. First of all, a little background on myself: I work at a hospital and work very weird hours (lots of nights and weekends), so I mostly get to go out as a single during weekdays. Also, I just moved to where I now live and don't know very many other people that play golf, so that's another reason why I go out as a single. Yes, I'm calling myself a single because I've never heard the term onesome until I came across this thread.

First question: are you playing at a private club or a public course? If you're at a private club and are having this issue, take it up with the head pro or the club director. If you're playing on a public course, I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for you because it's a public course. I don't belong to a private club, so I play on public courses around here. A lot of public courses won't even take tee times for singles, they'll just tell me to show up at the course and unless the course is wide-open, I'll get paired with someone else. You say that the clubhouse isn't sending the singles out to be paired up with you, how do you know that? Whenver I've played as a single and been paired up with other people, there's usually a starter that comes up to the group that I'm getting paired up with and asks if that is ok, does that not happen where you play?

Finally, think about it: when you started playing the game, did you already have friends to go out there with or did you have to make friends on the course? Some of the people that you're annoyed with are just starting to play the game, or are maybe like me and are new to the area and looking to find others that play golf (again, this is assuming that you're at a public course). Plus, it's not like you're not able to hang out with your boys even with one other person there...I've been put into a group with 3 other guys that haven't said anything to me during the round except "good shot" or "you're away" because the 3 other guys all know one another. I'm fine with that, just as long as the other people that I'm paired up with aren't outwardly mean to me. So let us know a little more about your situation, and maybe people will understand you more.

I posted this story below on another thread where the topic was people you would never forget playing with. You didn't happen to be in Ponte Vedra Beach back in February of 1996 were you?




I'm sure the group in front of us had a grand old time playing with just their friends. But, they missed out on a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Epic thread failure. I love these....





I practice quite a bit on my own. It lets me focus a bit more. While I may not always seek out someone to play with (course is usually empty when I get there), I certainly don't mind anyone asking to play alongside if the opportunity presents itself. I've had it all, people who can't hit the ball 3 feet, to people that drive greens. I learn something quite often in these cases too. Never know who you might meet. And I have a sneaking suspicion that if a rather attractive female "ONESOME" asked to join, you, billy-bob, and cletus wouldn't think twice about it.

I think I understand where the OP is coming from. Although its not sporting to reject every single that wants to join your threesome, sometimes you and your buds just want to be a threesome alone. I agree with the politely decline post. Whats with all the negativity, is everyone here a Carolina hurricanes fan?

Maybe its just the tone of your OP and title...

I think the OP is saying that everyone is missing the point because these people ask to join his 3some, rather than are paired up via the clubhouse. He thinks there is something wrong with people that ask to join instead of are forced to join. Is this why you keep saying everyone is not getting what you posted?

Regardless, I disagree with you. Golf is supposed to be sociable. Does your course allow singles during these times when they ask to join your group? If they do, maybe they don't want to hog up an entire tee time as a single and would rather leave it open for others?

Congratulations on your nomination for 'Ignorant DB Post of the Month'

Dude, when was this pic taken? Guy on the left has burner bubble irons!! lol


Anyway, unless golf courses stop letting "onesome" pay for their round, you will not find a solution.
Some people and everyone here in WRX love golf so not having someone to golf that time of the day is going to stop them from playing?

Like others have said, some of my best friends I have are met from golfing single. I moved to ATL 3 years ago, and I have so many #'s written on the scorecard.

You should try playing single and if you are not entertaining a client, you should let them in with open arms. I really think you must have had a very bad experiences...

Enough said...pretty much sums it up in a nutshell.

Hope you got some opinions.

I see both sides of the story here. When I get out with me a a couple buddies, we know they are going to add a 4th if there is one (and over the summer, there always is one). We introduce ourselves, play our round, and are cordial with him )never had the 4th be a girl). Do we joke around with him? No. Do we complement him when he hits a nice shot? Yes. Will we ever play with him again? Probably not unless the same circumstances happen again. Sometimes the guys are awesome to play with. Sometimes they will annoy the hell out of me. But they deserve to be out there playing and they deserve to be treated respectfully. Does that mean I like the guy? Not always. But I will always be nice to the guy.

That made me crack up a little. It's nice to see that a lot of golfers here have, one time or another, played as a single or joined a group of 2,3 etc. It's part of the game.

I've played NYC muni courses for a while now and i've grown accustomed to playing with people from all walks of life. When I drive up north, where it's less populated, I almost always play by myself. One time I played a round by myself but ended up stuck behind a group of beginners. A group of 3 pulled up behind me on the tee and I politely asked, "since we're going to be here a while would you mind if I joined your group?". They gave me a blank stare like I was come crazy nutcase and didn't respond to what I said. After the group ahead finally hit the ball they said nah we're going to play as a threesome with that same blank stare. I felt a little odd, like I offended them in some way by even having the gall to ask to join their "threesome", but understood and drove the ball down the fairway.

If you don't want a ONESOME to join your group then just say sorry we'd like to play as a threesome and move on. I'm sure the single won't mind at all.

OH and one more thing. "ONESOMES" have golfing buddies too. Find some friends ehh?

that may be what he be thinking we missed,

but really, where did the single come from? it's not like people just come from nowhere and walk on without taking to the pro-shop or starter

the single may not be announced over the loudspeaker, but if he's a late add to the group they're probably not going to re-announce the group over the speaker

Its funny you mention this OP cause I hate just the opposite. One course I go to alot does not have tee times which is fine but on a Saturday its quite busy, there have been times when I have had the gall to ask a 2or threesome infront of me if they minded if I join them. Not only does it help me out but I also dont hold up another group behind me waiting for the single to get out of their way.

It bothers me when they say NO. Look I dont want to be your best friend, truth is Im really quiet on the course and probably wont even talk to you, I just want to play 18 shoot a good score and go home. So why dont you like people joining you?

oh and one more thing...

The OP and his friends (all 2 of them ) fail.

I usually play with the same 4-5 people but in the event a friend can't make it, we don't mind a solo player joining us for the round. You never know who you will meet.

Finally....someone used the "keyword" of the point that I was trying to make......INVITE !!!!!! Probably too late for that to mean anything after the "gang mentality" going on but that was the WHOLE POINT of my post.

If you're playing by yourself and come up on a THREESOME, see if they INVITE you to play along. Don't INVITE yourself to join the group. There may be a reason why they are only playing a THREESOME and if they don't INVITE you to play with them be courteous enough to not ASK to join. Pretty good chance that they will offer to let you "play through" if they aren't looking for a 4th.....like we do when we aren't looking for a FOURSOME.

That was my reason for telling people to RE-READ my post. I thought it was clear.

Ya just can't slow down the "gang mentality" once it gets started though....can ya? Go boys....GO !!!!

so you're saying that you're not able to say you'd like to not be joined?

(assuming you're not on the 1st tee)

if they have the nerve to ask, you should have the nerve to say no if you don't want them to join (and once again, assuming you're not on the 1st tee)

Wow...

All the threesomes I have been a part of would have gladly welcomed any single young men who wanted to play with us.

Wow so in your 210 word response we were supposed to pull out the word invite? Dang i failed the test. what if you just said "nah thats ok man, why dont you just play thru."

Just a couple.