Ok, I'm a guest. Playing with a member - someone I am close to (not a business relationship). There is another guest with us - also in the same situation.

On an uphill par 5, I am left with 85 yards after scrambling back from an ugly tee shot. I am only a few strokes over par, haven't been out of place all day, and have yet to have the guys behind me within range. (In fact the first I heard of them was the previous hole. As I was putting for birdie on a par 4 one left the brake off on the tee box and beep beep beep the cart actually got away from him. First time I have seen that...)

I hit my 85 yard shot and I hear wizz, clunk. A ball lands 3 feet in front of me. The guy was in the fairway with a wood (not a 7i) in his hand.

I don't think he intended to plug me. However, I do think his brain was in outer space. I didn't take offense, but I did think I was on the wrong end of a dangerous situation.

...so I reached down and teed his ball up...

Thought I would just make him aware of his surroundings.

When he got up there he had a laugh. He said something like, "how could my ball land on a tee, what are the odds?"

I realized that he was really in outer space, so I pointed to myself while I stood on the next tee. I mean, wake up man. I calmly said "You almost hit me, I was right where you are standing."

He apologized, and I thought I had found a harmless way to wake the guy up. I mean, hitting a 3 wood on a par 5 when people aren't even on the green and not knowing where the ball landed is pretty damn spacy...

So the other guest with me, looks at me and says something about which I didn't even think. The guy is a member.

Oh my god.

He is a member. Of course, he should plug all the non-members.

But then, my friend pointed out that my behavior may reflect poorly on our host at this nice club. True enough. So I apologized to our host. He was nice and told me that if he were still a young man like me, there would have been hell to pay.

Thoughts?

Can't say you did anything too terrible...

I might have just left it on the tee and let that be it though.

A friend of mine is a member at a private club, and he has taken me out there a couple of times and I always try to be extra cautious about etiquette etc. However, member or not, the person should have been aware of his surroundings and not hit into you. I do not think that what you did was wrong in any way.

Believe me, you handled the situation in a much calmer manner than many people would have. Well played sir.

I'd have stepped on it or pocketed it.

Thank your friend. Whether you are in the right or not, creating problems when you are guest at another member's club is a sure fire way to never be invited back.

I don't think you should burn in hell or anything. But I wouldn't have done anything, like Stage said. When you are a guest at a club or even someone's home course, everything you do is a reflection on them. From what you where, to the way you treat the staff, the way you play..etc you get the idea.

You did the right thing about apologizing to your host and he took it well. As for the guy who hit into you, I have been a guests at some pretty nice private clubs and have been amazed as well at lack of golf etiquette displayed by some members. So it happens everywhere.

You really should have apologized for being in the way of his ball....

I kid... I kid...

Thought about stepping on it. Then I figured the guy would just have a bad lie and not get his head out of his rear end.
Like I said, I didn't think about the membership situation immediately following whiz, clunk.

I've seen one situation that resulted in no more invitations. I didn't really start with any risk to that, nor did I end with any. My thought was more about creating some discomfort for the member, who agreed with me. I knew he would agree. He is older and a year ago, I saved his noggin from a drive in flight. My concern was more about any grief he might get, of which there was none.

Still I didn't fully apply the game theory to the situation before I responed. My adrenaline was pumping.

This was the opinion of my other friend. Herein lies the discussion. I totally disagree.

I will tolerate a member telling me that I didn't get enough of every strand of grass in the the last divot to replace, or that these are the fastest greens in the twelve neighboring states, or that their handicaps aren't manipulated, it is just that they moved the blues back to the blacks or vice versa today... I can handle snobbery and typical manipulation to make members seem like better golfers, more sucessfully businessmen, etc...

However, being a dangerous player isn't something membership affords anyone. (IMO of course)

I wouldn't worry about it. You apologized to the host (which may not even me necessary, but nice either way). Personally, I probably would not have done anything. All of us have hit into someone and been hit into. The guys that do it accidentally are easy to identify: they usually yell FORE and come to apologize on the next tee. These folks "get it", so you don't really need to teach them a lesson. On the other hand are the clueless morons (like the guy behind you it sounds like). These guys don't get it and nothing you do will help. So for me it seems counterproductive either way to react.

Of course, I'd be lying if I said I had never "reacted" inappropriately when getting hit into.

Am i lost or did all you do was tee his ball up and then tell him he had hit into you?

That doesnt really seem OTT to me at all!

Someone at my club had this happen, he teed up the ball and hit it back at them! This WAS ott and he got suspended lol.

This is from the first page of "The Rules of Golf" under the etiquette section:

"Safety

Players should ensure that no one is standing close by or in a position to be hit by the club, the ball or any stones, pebbles, twigs or the like when they make a stroke or practice swing.

Players should not play until the players in front are out of range.

Players should always alert greenstaff nearby or ahead when they are about to make a stroke that might endanger them.

If a player plays a ball in a direction where there is a danger of hitting someone, he should immediately shout a warning. The traditional word of warning in such situations is "fore."

Consideration for Other Players"




If you were my guest and another member did this to you, I would have said "I will take care of it". Then I would have talked to the other member that did it in private later. I would have been fine with you teeing up his ball to make your point, he was the one who violated the rules of golf in the first place. I would have requested you to not say anything to him about it unless he brought it up to apologize.




Either way I am glad you weren't hurt and in the end no harm no foul thankfully.

I've held membership a two high end clubs. Guest behavior is very important. If a guest’s behavior is perceived questionable by any other member consequences could come back to the member later.

That’s not common in private clubs, but is at muni tracks. For all you know, the member didn't mean to hit close to you. Maybe the member is like a friend of mine, can't see very well past 100yds. I can't count the number of times someone hits a ball purely and to their surprise it flies longer then ever before. I've done that one a few times over the years with driver, 2i and 4i. I never hit a 2i 245yds or 4i 215yds; but can count on my hand the number of times I’ve clocked driver over 300 yds off the tee. When it’s that infrequent waiting because it’s remotely possible is partly why play golf gets slow at times. Every joker thinks what if... so he waits; then he dribbles it off the tee like a doofus last week end.

I recall my almost blind buddy hit his 3wd 25 yds further one time on 475yd par 4; his ball rolled past some folks standing on the green, fortunately it was left off the green. I told him to get up there and apologize fast. That’s what courteous people do if they know they made a mistake.

Next time before you assume intent and touch another player’s golf ball, check to make sure.

the old Mountain out of a mole hill

We should have a poll who on this forum has never been hit in too

Who on this forum has never hit into someone by acciden Like Forrest said "It happens"


As far as the private club thing you should have calmly mentioned it to your host and allowed for him to decide IF he should report them

If the situation had gotten nasty you would have been considered totally his responsibility.

I know you didn't start the conflict. But it does seem you feel a bit guilty about your behavior. If not, why even worry about what your host might think? I think minor guilt was an appropriate reaction for you to have, although I believe that your transgression was in fact minor.

Unless he hit into you multiple times, it was probably an accident, and I believe he deserves the benefit of the doubt. Your teeing his ball up seems to me to be your attempt to modestly "get even" or "show him up" rather than to communicate, which perhaps could have been done simply by turning around and waving to him.

I've accidently hit into people. I've felt very bad about it. I wouldn't have liked the retribution of your having altered my lie. But that's just me.

I think apologizing to your host was the classy thing to do after the fact. I also think it reflects well on you that you're thinking about the whole incident.

If I were you I'd say to myself, "You live and you learn" forgive myself for this minor action, and avoid doing something similar in the future.


Anyway, seems like no lasting harm was done. I wish you the best.

As a member of a club, had you been my guest, I would have wanted to handle it for you, not have you do what you did. It would have been straighforward to stay with the ball until the hitter arrived, and asked if he yelled fore, did he realize how close he came to injuring my guest, etc.

Any member worth his dues would apologize and lie that they yelled fore, and the matter would be closed. But the hitter would be on notice that another member politely called him out.

Even though you had a close call, "how close" is immaterial, because now your friend is on the defensive. In an imperfect world, you let the perp off the hook.

I'm sorry for hijacking this but when I read the bold the first thought was "No one was thinking of Charles Barkley!" everyone would have to leave the course....as to the op, no biggie, you did ok for holding your temper.

Let's let the facts be facts. You were a guest at his club. He should not have hit into you. But he did not hit you, though that seems harsh, it's the truth. Sometimes we don't have the right depth perception, and sometimes we hit shots further/better than we think we are going to.

So, he should not have done it, but you are not the rules official are enforcer, and you were the guest, so I don't think you were in any place to say anything. But I actually think that your friend who was a member could have said something, if you felt something needed to be said.

Teeing his ball up didn't serve a purpose.

The tee thing is new to me but a creative idea. I don't think you should have to be all cautious and certainly not have to apologize for someone hitting into you. Had you been with me I would've said something to the guy myself. Certainly you want to follow etiquette wherever you play and it's cool to be even extra consciensious when at someone elses club. However, members of a club should also respect other members guests. Those guests are bringing in revenue to their club and keeping their bill down. We are being charged an extra $500 per member as an assessment fee because the club is hurting with all the bad weather there has been. They've lost a ton of potential and anticipated income in the last few months and that was entirely outside tournaments and guest fees.

No disagreement with you what so ever on that point!!! OK, I'll admend my post, you should still apologize/explain to your host. THEN add something to the affect. "You might want to tell that Jackass member behind us, If he ever hits into me again, I'll personally shove that ball up his AZZ, I don't care if he's the President of the Club, he better learn some GD etiquette" Maybe something like that, I could understand as well

I'm amazed at how much people seem to tolerate in this thread just because of the "private club" aspect. Hitting into someone is dangerous. I don't care if what the course is. The poster says it was 3 feet in front of him. That is the width of a standard doorway.

Someone hits into me from a blind teebox or something that is one thing, but under normal circumstances if someone hits a ball that close to me, the least I'm going to do is pick up that ball.

We were playing Medinah #3 last fall. 18th hole...I was on the right side of the fairway which is 100% visible from the tee. We had been waiting on the group in front of us the entire round...but hey, it's Medinah, #3...am I going to call the clubhouse and ask for a ranger to come out?

Standing waiting to hit my second and see a ball hit right behind me and then realized it was on line and about to one hop me, right in the arse (fortunately). The guy who hit the ball came right up on us...we were STILL waiting on the group in front of us and he said...geez you are ******* slow. No apologies...nothing. He saw the group on the green in front of us and just stood there.

Didn't say a word...enjoy having the chance to play a great track. In the grill afterward he came up to me and I thought he was going to offer to buy a drink, etc. Bad assumption. He said...again...you play really slow.

ditto...
case of even when you're right...better to let the members police themselves. guests are guests and should bite their tongue etc.
no win situation for you...

Put his ball on a tee? Nah, just pick it up and write something creative for him with your sharpie (F-you, suck this or that, etc...)

Actually, I've done the tee thing before, and the sharpie thing before. I've never had to get to stage 3: whipping 'it' out and relieving myself on their ball.

Things like that happen and doesn't indicate he was trying to cause a problem.

I would have ignored it, especially if the members let it go. If it happened a second time, I would have asked the members if this is normal and at that point, they should then take care of it.

You are their guest and should follow their lead.

There are many reasons people don't become members of private clubs; the obvious is money, the second is they lack the social skills; and don't know how to handle conflict.

I think you did the right thing, although you probably shouldnt have said anything afterwards. Teeing up his ball is a quiet way of telling him that he almost killed someone and does ZERO harm.

Some good ideas here that are subtly new to me. Thanks for the opinions.
The reason I felt the discussion was relevant was because my other friend and I are still debating it.
You guys have added a few new elements to the discussion.

One point that I will hold my ground on is taking action to alert the guy who hit into me. I knew at the time it was an accident. However, the guy was young (40s), strongish, was hitting a wood for his second shot on a par 5. The ball was a well struck draw, so not his first good shot. Later, he didn't understand the teed up ball.

The man was in outer space at that point in time. (At best). I think he needed to be made aware of his surroundings and his hazardous play. It was hazardous. The ball flew three feet off my right shoulder. I could have impressed it into the ground with one step.

His pattern of activity was also hazardous. Hitting a wood from the deck with people still playing a par 5. So I feel the "do nothing" option is not one that I will chose in this case.

I like some of the ideas presented though, and I can incorporate some of those tactics in the future.
The sharpie is pretty funny, however, I'm not sure I would want him to have to see my note for multiple shots. Ha!

Funny, but I never said I wasn't a member somewhere else. Also, to get denied sponsorship/membership, you generally have to have some real problems unless we are talking PV and similar, where your business enemies can shut you down. I can't really think of many clubs that will (lame restrictions aside) deny someone with the adequate amount of money a membership. A few, but not many.

Also, while it is a different swimming pool than the muni track, members at private clubs can have some pretty poor social skills themselves sometimes.

Hopefully that comment was a joke.

Private clubs are notorious for bad etiquette on the golf course, and poor manners off the course.
Playing through without much warning, using the next tee box while playing partners are still on the previous green, hitting into the forward group, multiple mulligans etc... are typical private club member behavior. Off the course berating pro shop and grill room staff , loud boorish talk etc... is common member behavior. Many people with money feel like they do not need to observe goof course etiquette or proper manners off the course. Of course this is a generalization, but I notice better manners and etiquette at a public course setting than I do within a private club.
I would not worry about messing with the ball of the offender who hit into you, it's likely that type thing happens every time the member is on the course.

Nothing wrong with what you did. I don't care if you are a member, non-member, space cadet or pornstar. If you are riding, take that extra 30 seconds to drive up and check out the area before hitting. I play a course with several blind spots and its pisses me off that NOBODY takes the time to take a peek before hitting.

The last time (yes, more than once) I was hit, I was in the opposite fairway and didn't hear a soul yell "4". I mean, it one-hopped and hit me in the leg, but still. I picked up the ball and drove it to the man who hit me. He could CLEARLY see me from his tee box. I asked him why he didn't yell "4" and his reponse.... "I didn't think it would actually hit you, just give you a little scare." I wanted to punch the guy in the face. Instead, and I will paraphrase, I told him that if he or one of his golf balls comes within 100 yards of me, that several of his clubs would have to be surgically removed from his rectum.

So, I probably didn't handle it well. The guy actually came up to me after the round in the bar with 2 beers in hand. He apologized for hitting me AND his comment. I apologized for being a dick. Water under the bridge. I know at private clubs everyone takes everything so personal and things like this drag on for years.

BTW..... Think twice about pissing someone off on the golf course, even if you are a member....

Remember that scene from "Falling Down" with Michael Douglas......

I am a member at an exclusive private club and believe me, members are just as capable of being ignorant hackers as non members. Some members at my club irritate me because they feel like they should never, ever wait for even a moment because it is a private club which is wrong. For all that guy knew, you were a fellow member or a relative of a club owner.

You did the right thing to tee it up and mention it because that person put your life at risk regardless of either of your member status.

Everyone has accidentally hit into someone at one time or another. Some of us may have even had lockjaw and didn't yell. It happens sometimes.

To think that this guy's thought process was "Well, the guy I might hit isn't a member, so I'll swing away" is ridiculous. It's not like he hit into you multiple times. He just made a mistake. He apologized.

I certainly don't always agree with PepperTurbo; however; his posts in this thread are spot on, as far as I am concerned.

I am a member of what most would consider a "high-end" private club and have been a guest at many of the "best" clubs around the world (Pine Valley, Merion, Cypress Point, for example). First, the likelihood of slow play at a private club is much less compared to public/resort courses-- members are usually just avid golfers (even if wealthy or a senior executive), play is lighter, and members generally understand golf etiquette (and hate slow play) more than most. Secondly, the breech of etiquette (and hazard) involved with intentionally hitting into someone is less likely because, as I said, slow play by members and guests is actively discouraged, and, secondly, members at these clubs know you just don't vent your frustration that way. If a member's (or his guest's) slow play is a problem, it is simply mentioned, member to member, either during the round or later to the pro or a golf committee/board member and "handled" in a civilized manner.

Though we all share an interest in the game of golf on Golfwrx, we obviously have different personal circumstances and perspectives. You fellows may do what you want at your courses, but at my club, it would be inconceivable for a guest of mine to directly react to a member about what was most likely an inadvertent mistake. And even if it weren't inadvertent, I would expect my guest to tell me what happened and I would discuss the matter with the other member myself, when appropriate. If his reaction indicated he didn't "get it", I would then take it up with the appropriate person (golf committee chairman or board member). Similarly, if I were a guest at another club, I would simply mention the incident to my host and let him handle it.

A macho confrontation or strutting around like a rooster in a barnyard with indignant "golf rage" is not appropriate behavior for a mature adult (or kid) who would like to be invited to a "better" private club, and such behavior would be an embarrassment to the host. I expect some of you don't agree and/or don't care, but if you do have aspirations to play at a great club (as a guest or member), expect to act like a gentleman. Sorry, but that's the way it is. If you don't like it, there are many other golf courses to play.

You're making an assumption regarding sponsorship or membership. I could go on but when you've chaired membership for three years, and been on the BOD like I have what many want to believe isn’t always what happens.

Whether you stated your club status or not, is immaterial. I based my response on your reaction and that members don’t "purposely" hit into groups in front; it's typically an accident; not as much so on public courses; and shot pattern indicates nothing. I play to almost scratch and have busted a few unexpected shots that landed way to near players in front of me.

The way I read your post it sounded as though you assumed the worst of his intentions and felt the need to react which lead me to social skills; if that is wrong, my apologies. I just measured what was written and know people don’t generally "assume" those playing behind hit into them on purpose; they assume it was a mistake. That said, there are idiots that think hitting into a slow playing group upfront helps speed play; course those idiots lack social skills and are commonly found on public courses. Doing that at a private club could result in sanctions even expulsion if it's done to often.

After I responded I read your post.. we might not agree on somethings (don't know), but we surely agree on behavior in this situation. I especially liked the words "macho", "rooster" and "barnyard"; and "that's the way it is. You express yourself well too.

Unless obviously done on purpose, I give somebody the benefit of the doubt as far as hitting into me once goes. If it was blatant or done on more than one occasion I would just simply ask the group to be more cautious regardless of whether we're talking about a muni track or if I was a guest at a high end club. To hit into somebody intentionally is not acceptable. I'm not a member at any club nor am I familiar with these unwritten conduct rules. I can say though that putting myself in the shoes of the member who was confronted, I would have a lot more respect for the guest who addressed the issue with me directly than if he had his host talk to me about it at a later time. Is it such bad conduct that a guest address an issue with a member directly? Are you that superior that how dare a guest bring up a simple issue of golf etiquette with you directly? This is assuming that the guest was civil and reasonable of course.

Opposite of this. I assumed the best of his intentions, which led me to believe he was playing dangerously and didn't know it.
When it was finally brought to his attention, he said he was sorry. Like I said the man was in outer space. I hope he doesn't drive a car like this!

To address the rooster or whatever comment, the situation did not involve anyone's ire, or anything more than a whisper.
I have also been the recipient of a national sportsmanship award in another sport, so I'm not a total crackpot! The situation really boiled down to me handling it at the time, or having my host handle it at some later point in time.

The wider reprocussions didn't cross my mind at the time. What did was making this guy aware of his surroundings. Who knows what he might have done next. I mean the guy lost his cart on the previous hole - I have never seen that before.

If handling it myself calmly and not going through a member is machismo, then I think that is a little bit of machismo on the member's part. Personally as a host, I don't seek to dominate my guests. However, I appreciate the comments regarding how other hosts would have wanted the situation handled. It helps add more possibilities to the resolution.

I think we are clearly seeing two sets of views on this situation though.

Two sets of views is exactly right; made abundantly clear by your usage of the words "dominate my guests".

Hey Pepper - I have respectfully listened to your view. Please don't pick me apart.
Thanks

I have found it goes both ways at private clubs. Around here, there are "player's clubs" and "country clubs." The players clubs have outstanding golf. The pace of play is quick and rarely gets bunched up. Golfers are there to play golf and all appreciate others who know how to keep pace.

Then there's the clubs where people want to be a member because it's "exclusive." The course is nice, but rarely used. More time is spent in the dining room than on the course. The players are generally of a lesser caliber golf-wise. It's a shame because some of the courses are classics.

Members, like society, come in all shapes and sizes. Some are very courteous. Others want to flaunt their money and be pompous a$$holes. The latter don't care if they hit into you, whether you are a member or not. Their entitlement complex is pathetic and is only superceded by their need to pull the "do you know who I am" card.

This is very true. At my club, where most of us have known each other and our families for years, members would never stoop so low as to handle conflict with a public confrontation. They would instead create a nickname that suits the miscreants physical appearance and then spread rumors that they are bankrupt.

Whenever I am the victim of being hit into, and it happens pretty often, I don't even bother turning around since I will just see a group of septuagenarians who never saw me to begin with. No offense to those in their 70s, I look forward to hitting balls into
people if I am lucky enough to make it as far as you have.

Ha, yeah, when a fossil hits into me, I couldn't care. The ball isn't going to hurt!

At my club, there are some little issues that people have been stewing over for almost a generation at this point. It's crazy, but I don't realize how bad it is until I see it objectively at another club. ...This at a players-variety club.

It is a level of insanity.

So maybe I got involved in the insanity. But then firing 3-woods around where there are people is another thing.

A year ago, I watched a ball whizz right past my dad's head. It scared the hell out of me, because he could have a heart attack or a stroke or something. He's getting older, and he didn't even notice. He should have been furious, but he didn't see or hear it. So, I do feel like I have some responsibility out there being a young guy with good eyes and ears.

Some people are just clueless. I was playing a quick 18 after work at a Muni and I swear all the village idiots were out with me. I was in the fairway on the opposite side of a small creek when someone on the other side tee'd off and whizzed a ball 45* right (huge slice) and nearly hit me in the shoulder. As I got close I asked why the hell they didn't call FORE and he just said, sorry and shrugged like it was no big deal.

The shot was clearly way offline from the get go and probably went 160 yards straight to the right. I thought about kicking the ball into the creek but just kept going. There was also a 5 some with a bunch of hacks and a 80 year old man teeing off from the blues (6,705 yds) Each par 4/5 it took 3 strokes to get past the ladies tee box.

Great. A self-appointed golf cop. Somewhat disrespectful of his elders. You really have no idea where the "rooster or whatever comment" came from?

Sawgrass, for all intents and purposes at almost 60 I am a fossil to most youngsters today, and I like it. Sad part is even if a fossil whips them from the back tee's or whips’ them physically disrespectful people almost never learn.

Wow, now you guys are getting a little crazy. Golf cop. Whatever. Let's just have anarchy. (that is sarcasm) Anyone who says anything is a golf cop.

When it comes to my dad who has had a heart attack, a stoke, 2 heart valves replaced getting hit into. Yeah, I can make assumptions about what he does and doesn't notice around him and what will hurt him. That's not really disrespectful.

And really if a 75 year old hits me with a shot, I'm really not worried about my organs. I am more worried when a full-strength person whacks the ball at 120 mph. My original statement was directed at two comments about how I didn't actually get hit or hurt. If you are capable of hitting good hard shots, well that is great for you.

I may be young, but I'm not a kid. I'm in my mid-30s... I run a company... I'm not the kid you seem to be prejudiced against. Sorry you want to make a big deal about every funny word I use like "fossil". I bet you guys have some funny words for young kids that you use too.

I am signing out guys now that Pepper is claiming that he takes physical violence against disrespectful people. What are you a member of the 60 year old Wu Tang Clan? (humor) That is some pretty lame boasting though, and I bet you haven't laid a hand on anyone in a long time. If you have you are a real wack job, man, posting in a golf etiquite forum and getting in fights with people you don't like. Otherwise you are just talking garbage.

My question was answered on page one. I am out.

roll-gybe, What kind of boat do you sail? I'm a member of the original Laser generation and have raced everything from sinker sailboards, Olympic classes, catamarrans, to big boats.