so a friend of mine drinks too much when we golf. What is too much? It affects his personality from the start of the round to the end.

we started before lunch and he had a beer at 11am before the round at the clubhouse.
at the turn he got more beers, then basically turns slightly belligerent as we use to play pretty close score wise but it became better to just not keep score anymore.

on top of this he is on the blackberry all the time which annoys me again and is on for no reason.

So... anyone been in this situation? Definitely thinking of playing courses i know don't have beer for sure.

I guess i have to dump him as this is really problematic with our entire group. Anyone done a "golf buddy intervention"?

Peter.

Wait until he's nice and drunk. Throw his Blackberry in the lake, as that should be the punishment for any cell phone on a golf course.

When he's ready to fight, you should be able to take him.

Or,

just stop playing with someone that annoys you.

You can't hide your addictions and vices on the course. (if you play a lot)

I've played with guys who get the shakes and then suddenly get well after the beverage cart makes a round and is allowed to sell alcohol.

Also played w/ dudes who will trash their round and spend three holes trying to get in touch w/ their bookie.

I've even played w/ a guy who had to shoot up in the port-o-pottie.

Are you guys drinking as well or is he the ONLY one partaking in an adult beverage?

Peter, I have a bit of experience with this and it sounds like your buddy does have a problem, at least.

What's important for those affected is to not let the problem drinker's/alcoholic's behavior ruin your life/day/game/etc. In this case, you might consider getting the foursome together informally (no drinking) and discussing the problem with your buddy. Tell him you're not willing to play golf with him anymore when he drinks --- his choice. He'll probably display some temper in an attempt to manipulate you into getting his own way....don't budge one inch. It's ridiculous that you can't even keep score when you play golf because of his drunken temper. His behavior is ruining your game --- don't let it, don't accept it.

You see, alcoholics need to lose a lot of things on the way to getting into a bad enough situation to honestly reach out for help. Sometimes the right thing for those people surrounding the potential alcoholic to do is to move away from him. It might help him see more clearly that he needs help, and he may seek it out in hopes of maintaining those friendship/family ties.

I'll have 1 beer maybe, and/or 1 afterwards. the rest the guys drink more but doesn't seem to affect them. but i am basically a non-drinker. So par for the course is the other guys have a beer or two or three probably.

I used to play with someone like that and after the second time, I just told him he needs to stop being an @$$h*l*. Haven't played with him since. I'll play with him again if he shows up sober and without a phone.

I am just sitting here , my mouth agape. WOW.

I've played with guys who get the shakes and then suddenly get well after the beverage cart makes a round and is allowed to sell alcohol.

Also played w/ dudes who will trash their round and spend three holes trying to get in touch w/ their bookie.

I've even played w/ a guy who had to shoot up in the port-o-pottie


After reading that and the original post, I'm going to send my regular golf buddies a big thanks for being cool to play with!!

SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH

Ron Burgundy

I would straight up tell him the issues you and your group have with him in regards to the over indulgence and the Blackberry. If he takes it like a man and respects the group, then life should be good. If not....tell him adios muchacho.

Life's too short to coddle a**holes.

Doesnt matter if he's drinkin.. what matters is his conduct. So his Stinks- So Dump him.

I used to play with a group on Fridays and this one Moose dude, 6 ft 5 x football in College, in his late twenties- every round drink a whole bottle of Jack Dan. with Coke.. but he was fine..and played to about a 10 hcp. He probably weighed over 300 lbs. I kept expecting him to go nuts.. but he was fine.

Spot on.

You and your friends can either be part of the problem or part of the solution. Enabling his disfunctional behavior by ignoring what he is doing, making excuses for him, etc. just allows him to continue in his denial of the problem. Being belligerent (throwing is Blackberry in the lake, etc) just gives him another resentment to drink "at". Personally, my bottom came when one of my fraternity brothers, a guy that I really admired, sat me sown and told me that my drinking was out of control. It took a couple of years and a lot of grief and pain but eventually I became "the man on the bed". You can do for your friend what my friend did for me. Be honest and firm. Offer him your help but know that he may not accept it at first. He may be obnoxious, confrontational, or anything but greatful. That's OK. Remember, he is sick and hopeless. He needs to take the first step towards recovery. That step is honesty with himself. Start the process by being honest yourself. Tell it like it is and be ready to live through the consequences.

Having a few beers while playing a round does not constitute being an alcoholic - some people like to do that sometimes, let them. A few people seem to be jumping to conclusions. Maybe the OP has more alcohol experiences with this guy that hes not sharing, what hes put in the post by no means come close to being an alky.

The worst problem to me seems to be the BB and the beligerent behaviour, which quite frankly, the guy might do anyway. That is what I would look to address - all the time you see people being loud and annoying on the course where no beer is involved.

Hate it when people get sanctimonious about drinking. If someone has a major problem, fine, but a few beers here or there are not generally a problem, its how people conduct themselves on the course thats the issue (with or without beer).

I have a friend who is a legitimate alcoholic and is still in college...

we used to play all the time, but it got to the point that he'd drink a whole pint before we could get through 12 or 13 holes and end up being too drunk to even hit the ball. I'm still friends with him and we still hang out, but I refuse to play with him anymore.

Do yourself a favor and play your friends who are interested in playing. If he wants to get hammered drunk instead of playing, he can go find a bar.

Get really drunk before the round so he can see how stupid he looks to someone who is sober.

In all seriousness, if he is a good friend and it's worth the discomfort of calling him out, you should clear the air. If not
just avoid playing with him. Sounds like a potentially serious problem if his personality changes alot.

I love drinking in general and I used to drink alot on the course, carry a nice flask of scotch, when I stunk more than I do now.

Funny thing is, the better I get, the less I want to drink on the course.