...then I'm the Queen of England. He couldn't hit it into Carmel Bay if he was standing in it.

90% of those celebs have vanitycaps. It's one of the reasons the AT&T and the Hope are my two least favorite weeks of the year.

If I wanted to watch crappy golfers make fools of themselves, I'd walk 20 feet out the door to the first tee.

He hits it like my 75 year old Mom, who by the way is a 30 handicapper.

I'm starting to feel the same way myself...watching Berman hack around the course is taking some of the luster off televised golf. But then, I've got to blame the Golf Channel for this; they don't have to keep showing him.

Most of the celebs are completely unbearable. I wish they would just play instead of having to act a fool all over the place.

I cannot stand Danny Gans. AT ALL.

I've made an executive decision this year never to watch anything whatsoever that features George Lopez or Danny Gans ever again.

...then I must be Tiger Woods! I'm sorry, as 20+ myself, I can hit more solid shots than that. He needs a hybrid set or something!

...then I must be Tiger Woods! I'm sorry, as 20+ myself, I can hit more solid shots than that. He needs a hybrid set or something!

Sorry about changing the topic a bit, but who's
the lucky rich guy that Natalie Gulbis is caddying for?

Wish it were me

Seriously, I think a large part of my annoyance lies with the golf channel. If they at least showed 50% pros and amateurs, at least I could follow the plot. It seems like they just show the worst F**KING golfers 99% of the time. It actually really makes me mad.

What he needs is a freakin clue!! I cannot stand to watch this event. I love to look at the Pebble scenery, however that being said if I wanted to watch bad golfers with terrible schtik's (spelling?) then I would Caddyshack because that is funny. I am through with this tournament!! I have decided to watch Monk on USA and I don't even watch the show!!

I think some of what bothers me as well is that (at leat in my view) a lot of them don't respect the game of golf enough. They see it as a big circus show where they can jerk off as they move in hundred yard increments around the course.

Maybe it's just me, but I can't stand to watch a golf tournament where the golf is an afterthought.

So I guess the conclusion is that despite the number of Celebs around that are good ball strikers and would seemingly be entertaining to watch the old adage that money talks is all this is about and the selection process is nothing more than a payback outing for a bunch on boring hacker Investment bankers/mover/shakers that get off over their fifteen minutes of fame.

That would be Mr Forstmann (sp?) of LBO fame ...

Faldo just said it best when Katie T asked him what advice he had for Chris Berman. Faldo quickly said that he recommends that Berman cut 4 inches off his shafts, "it won't help his game but it will help him fit his golf clubs into a trash can!" Brilliant!!

I'm sorry, but when I read that, I laughed so hard that coffee almost came out my nose. All I could think of was a 75 year old mom saying .




Sweet! mat is back on his anti-George Lopez rant!

I have to agree, there is no way Berman has shot a 90...not even on a par 3 track.

Rest easy.

I'm not. Honestly!

It's been a long, hard road but my therapist is confident that my recovery may be permanent.

A little off topic but I have to say it bothers me when Andy Garcia (a very talented actor) gets less attention from the fans that a mediocre at best comedian. Oh well

I seem to remember a thread very similar to this about 12 months ago........coincidence? I think not.
The novelty of watching actors attempt to play golf, dance, participate in a circus, ice skate, etc. etc. etc. wore off circa 1981.

Nick Faldo just had a good line. They showed a replay of Berman hitting a tee shot and Faldo was asked if he could give Berman one tip what would it be. His reply was for Berman to cut four inches off his driver. He was asked how that would help and he said that it would then fit into a garbage can at the end of the round

Gotta love Faldo...just wish he was still playing.

That joke is copyright 1978, Jimmy Tarbuck.

Berman couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo, as they occasionally say in Ireland.

I don't mind Lopez, he seems like a likeable guy underneath all the show, but Gans did an impression of John Travolta. Must be a different Travolta from the 'Grease' star I was thinking he was going to do.

And the commercial breaks and leaderboards? How many times do they need to show them?. The only way to watch this stuff is to record it and then watch with a thumb poised on the fast forward button.

mat, you are just a fountain of information!

How DO you do it?

What in the hell does that even mean?!?!?

You know that Worlds' Worst Waxworks in Blackpool where none of the figures look remotely like who they're supposed to be?

Gans seems to be a sort of variety-club version of that...

Amazing. Literally the worst act I've ever seen in my life.


The old cow's arse and banjo analogy is eternally amusing. Where I come from, our version is 'couldn't hit a barn wall if he stood inside it...'

It is a colourful image that suggests the subjects hitting ability is completely woeful and they are incapable of hitting even a large static object.

arse=a** by the way..!

Mat, I'm on your crazy-bus. I CANNOT STAND GEORGE LOPEZ.

I've seen naked, trembling crack addicts that needed smack less than GL needs a camera. He just seems to desperately, desperately need attention, to the point where he would throw his mother under a bus to get a laugh.

Got to love a bit of trans-Atlantic euphemism-swapping.

Oh, I'm all for the swapping. *blushes*

I concur. I would rather just watch N. Gulbis caddy.

In what world did I wake up in where Danny Gans is a celeb?

I actually do enjoy watching trackman on the celebs when they do the side by side with a pro. Got to be humbling for them when they watch it later. "Boy, I got a hold of that one".

I agree with the above posts...Danny Gans isn't even funny and most of his impersonations aren't very accurate! I am still trying to figure out how he makes millions of dollars selling out his show in Vegas every night!? WTF?

Well if I had a choice between George and Natalie, of course I'd choose Miss Gulbis, but to me Lopez is one funny guy.

Then I want to go play him for his money using 100% handicaps. Come on, my six year old daughter has a better swing than that!! Maybe next year we can get Berman and Sir Charles in the same foursome. What a treat that would be!! I realize that he is more than likely out there to have fun, but do we really have to watch almost every shot of his? Also, what's up with the handicaps of the celebs? Is that for 9 holes? I have seen my fair share of sandbagging, but not in reverse order. After watching Berman for several holes I have found out what is wrong with his swing.

He is standing too close to the ball....after he hits it!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a peach hone! Oh golly, I'm hot today!!!

Oh, I understood. It's just . . . why a banjo?!?!? I didn't even know there were banjos in Ireland! And why would one be attempting to hit a cow with one?!? The image or an Irishman with a banjo chasing a cow was too much for me!


Over here, the preferred saying is "Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from the inside with the door closed" or "Couldn't hit water when falling out of a canoe".

OMG.. He's the worst 18 HC I've ever seen.

Okay, I just started watching today's coverage and I have to agree about Berman. How the hell did he even get invited? And why do they keep showing him? Dude is a train wreck. (I may have just answered my last question.)

I've got friends who've never had a lesson in their life and only started playing last month who have better swings. (And that is NOT a compliment of those friends - they suck. hard.) Berman's seizure-like body movements bear no resemblance whatsoever to an actual golf swing.

Let me start by saying I am a fan of Chris's Pro Football commentary on ESPN.

But wow! I have to agree with many of the previous posts about his swing, very bad and painful to watch. I am still trying to get it out of my mind.

I always thought Sir Charles had the worst golf swing I ever saw, but now after seeing Chris Bermans today I'd have to say he is giving Barkley some serious competition in that category.

I guess we can only hope that he watches the coverage of himself and decides to get some much needed lessons before doing another tournament on TV again.

Berman was BAD......There is a MAX handicap allowed to get in. Some guys fudge it...Berman more than others.

Ionly caught his shots on 18, but I am glad. He was walking terribbly! It looks like he had a stroke. Nick said something about his hip bothering him....but he wasn't swinging his left arm. Even during his golf stroke, I think!

I think I would fight Danny Gans if I saw him in the street. How he qualifies as a "celebrity", I'll never know. Moreover, why would anyone pay money to see him? His "impressions" are terrible.

Although as I was watching last night I kept hitting rewind on a particularly bad one, then I'd make my wife look up from her computer and say "Watch this one. Watch. Watch. Ooooh. Hideous." Then she would roll her eyes and go back to whatever she was doing. So I was entertained, but spouse entertainment value was fairly low.

I watched 20 minutes of this yesterday and saw 1 pros shot, the rest was interviews, commercials and celebs. Does the golf channel actually think this is what we want to see. I won't be wasting my time with this crap on the weekend.

Chris Berman has the coordination of a one legged man in a arse kicking contest.

(no offense to one legged men)

If the Berg were really a golfer he would hide from the cameras, cause I know on my really bad days I don't want anyone to see me swing! His buddies are just getting him air time. With that said I have watched a whole 10 minutes of PB...just can't stand the hacking!

Berman makes me look like a pro. If he's an 18 handicap, then I'm a 5. Sheesh.

Funnier though, were his comments to TGC reporter after his round. He said that "by himself" he's a legit 18. So, making bogeys is ok. But at this tourney, that's not a good thing.
He must have established that handicap by himself at an executive course. His driver was slapped 120 to the right all day, and the rest of his shots were duck hooked 95 to the left.
Amusing though, that even the celebs that we see on TV everyday come up with a way to fudge their scores and find an excuse for playing poorly.

Chris Berman - disgraziato! He is no 18 hcp. And what's with all these amateurs taking gimme putts??? Isn't it a stroke play event??