We all have those regular golf buds that we gamble with or play for braggin rights so, lets hear those trash talking lines u say to you partners!

The classic "Does your husband play golf?"

"No. Sometimes the club slips out of my hands and smacks people in my foursome."

Horizontal hinge action combined with power accumulator two AND three, hmmm interesting concept!

The strangest part is, it usually happens while they are teeing off.

When someone has a putt in fidget length a good line to use is "Nice putt" before they roll it. Had a teammate in college where it worked every time he had a big putt for a skin or a point. Didn't have the thickest of skin.

The FISO (F*** I'm Still Out) acronym was always a good one too when someone runs their first putt by and are still out.

Do you breathe in or breathe out on your back swing?

A little chicken left on that bone

a little pizza left in that box

Elephant butt shot...it's high and it stinks

Say "nice par" right before they are getting ready to knock in a testy 2 footer for par

Say "nice lag", when they leave a makeable birdie putt short

When the guy chunks a few wedge shots into the green inside 100 after a monster drive, tell him "NICE DRIVE"

When the guy makes his first birdie of the day after he's been playing bad, tell him "NICE PAR"

I always like the one after a playing partner chucks one in the water or just doesn't get it over the water.

"nice layup"

Or another one when they put it in the woods or desert.

"I heard the green really opens up from that angle."

'Try hitting one without the headcover on Gladys...' to the short hitter of the group.

I like the one about the Super Walmart (thanks Tiger).

When a player leaves a birdie putt 3 feet short. I love to say, "What a minute, there is enough meat left on that bone to feed my kids!"

That one's also good for toppers and worm burners off the tee. "Ah, laying up huh?"

For drives than fly amuck - "Yeah, it is hot, nice an shady under there I guess."

"At least your past the senior tees"

"Was that a 3 or 5 wood?" After a duffed driver.

When one of your playing partners misses his third putt; "Anytime you're ready Big Guy."

don't close the toolbox

I would recommend that you find the thread of sayings that piss people off. I'm sure they'll pretty much be the same lines!

Have you though about bowling ?

When someone who comes up about 2 feet short and they're walking up to putt again, you can say "Hey you dropped something." When they stop to look, say something like "Nevermind, I thought it was your lipstick."

When you're on the green.

"Hey do you know how much that pin wieghs"? His responce will be,

"uhmm, no"

"Why don't you pick it up and find out"

I love the short birdie putt under 10 feet "Nice lag" Get's em red in the face every time.

When someone hits one really off line give them the "nice velocity, you really got into that one"

I say that when a putt is dead online but short "dang...you had it in her mouth but mom walked in"

you suck

When you outdrive someone and he's not sure which ball is which when you come up to them; "I think that has to be you ahead, I only used a hybrid."

for a drive really short and/or off line---"It plays long from there"

Yell out "better duck squirrels!!!!" when someone in your group hits one towards the trees.

"look out cookout" when someone hits one OB into a back yard

if someone is have a bad hole chopping it up pretty good, throw out "when you get done hoeing for beets (or potatoes or whatever vegetable that suits your area) there is some golf to be played out here today"...

after some one hits a hosel rocket......" looks like they are practicing the option out here again today"

When your buddy stuffs it, "nice miss"....always gets em going.

Or the always popular...."do you always aim that far to the right when you line up your putts?"

DG

Before a short putt:

"Knock it close"

I like the do you breathe in or out one, thats a classic! lol As a Trash Talker Extraordinaire, I have MORE than a few of my own....

-Did you mean to hit it that way/over there?

-(short putt) Dude, dont miss it...

-(monster drive) Dont break your back tryin to catch that one son! (kissing my bicep while flexing)

-(with my really good buddies after a bad shot) Dude, you suck! lol

Keeping in mind that if I trash talk you, its because I like playing golf with you. If I dont talk at all, I probably hate you.... lol

When your buddy leaves a putt short:

"Did you trip on your skirt?" or "You must've left your d!@# at home"

When you hit a good shot and your buddy says "nice shot" tell him/her: "I know."

A couple of my favorites are:
When a playing partner hits it fat i always say, "That shot was like your favorite kind of peanut butter...Chunky!"

PBFU - Post Birdie F*** UP

Also another good one for misses on short putts.

"Don't trip on that tampon string."

A personal favorite that always gets a friend of mine red in the face is when he gets mad just after hitting a shot that he knows is in trouble and I say:

"Wow, you are REALLY going to like that one"

Rather simple but its all in the delivery.

My dad was razzing me about outdriving me one day and told him

"dude, force equals mass times velocity squared. Lord knows if I was carrying as much mass as you I wouldn't even have been able to get out of bed this morning."


With my buddy who hacks it around hits a worm burner i tell him not to worry about it, he hit it flush that time. It was the 50 shots before that were three inches flat that delofted the club.


Whenever there is a missed putt i love to point out the opportunity cost

"dude, don't worry about it, that was only a $20 putt. you'll get it back on the next one. I am sure of it."


I am with you Old Skool, if we aren't talking we aren't having as much fun as possible.

Not exactly heckling....but....

Mos tour bags have companies there logo on the bottom of their tour bags....
my srixon bag doesnt. So its got "SHANK!" stencil'd on the bottom

What about internet trash talking like, Lord knows that force equals mass times acceleration.

"For you that's a really good shot"

oh you crazy ivy leagers!!!

you busted me!

in context - a bunch of our guys are old army guys and force times velocity squared was always the ballistics quote thrown around - it is easier to impart more damage by making the bullet faster than making the bullet bigger.

trust me, the joke kills with the fat guys.

what did i quote kinetic energy or some sh%^@?

"Next time, put your purse down." After leaving a putt short. Gets 'em every time.


-r.

On a putt that is left short of the hole..."There is still some pizza in that box!"

I always liked the "nice drive" comment after a guy bombs the ball down the middle...and proceeds to mess it up the hole making bogey from 60 yards or something along those lines....

"Why don't you try aiming at something"... Always a good one for any errant shot. Even better for horrible misreads on putts.

After a particularly wayward drive, the 'wide' signal of the cricket umpire is traditionally adopted by the sniggering non-hitters in my regular foursome...

when someone leaves a putt short ... tell them that just like their sex life , its short and not hard enough

a nice classic

" only pace and line kept that out bud "

or just to mates " you poxy bas*&£d " works too

nice

Three more I forgot about:
"The harder you swing the farther it goes"
"Thats the longest drive I have ever seen you hit"
Boy, that was the fastest putt I've seen all day ( say this after you have accidentally hit your first putt too hard )

"Hit it wendy!" is my groups saying when you leave putts short.

Also really good to use when a playing partner misses a putt quite wide of the hole.

Another good one is 'have a good game, just not as good as mine' as your setting up to hit your 1st tee shot. And 'well out' when your playing partner fats one from the middle of the fairway.

I'll try that one next time out on the course..

I have a suspicion it may rile one of my regular group...