http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/articl...1696474,00.html

'08 Expectations

It takes crystal balls to look into the future, but David Feherty has no fear. Behold his eight predictions for the coming season

By David Feherty
Contributing Writer, GOLF Magazine
Published: January 01, 2008

1. Tim Herron goes on my successful brussels-sprout-and-chick-pea diet and emerges for the '08 season looking like The Rock, only to be DQ'd from the Sony Open for deliberately changing the direction of the Hawaiian tradewinds.

2. Poised to defend his Nissan Open title, Charles Howell III mysteriously goes missing when his dog accidentally buries him in the backyard.

3. Camilo Villegas withdraws halfway through the FBR Open and the EDS Byron Nelson for "scrotal exhaustion." Wilt Chamberlain is put on notice.

4. Gary Player again declares that the game is riddled with 'roids, and he appears at a Champions Tour event standing 6' 2" tall. He says that if he'd known HGH was undetectable in his day, he would have won 26 majors, kicked sand in Tom Weiskopf's face, and given Arnold Palmer an "atomic wedgie."

5. Greg Norman's yacht sinks while Tiger Woods is spearfishing nearby. Nothing to see here, move along...

6. Steelers fan Jim Furyk buys Pittsburgh. (The city, because it was half the price of the football team.)

7. Michelle Wie puts her competitive career back on track after Britney Spears adopts her. (See, all the girl needed was a little parenting.)

8. Having completely run out of all other vices, John Daly enters rehab for his addiction to women who beat the snot out of him. He soon remarries, but his new bride turns out to be a member of the Taliban — and a guy.

hahaha

Feherty kills me.

This is good but the payne stewart gopher one took the cake for me cheers guys

Feherty's the #1 announcer in Golf...period. Wicked Irish Wit!!

about the only good thing these days in Golf magazine

ahhhhhhhhhhh....what a year!

If you dont like David Feherty their is something clinically wrong with you

The best Feherty crack I read in Golf Magazine some time ago regarded a reader who commented that he spent his off season playing a lot of golf on his computer. He felt it helped him focus once winter was over and he was playing real golf once again. Feherty thought that playing golf on a computer, as a form of practice in any respect, would be like "comparing real sex to punch a clown." I couldn't believe that they printed that but they did.

He also made the comment about the suggestion that some journeyman was going to win a major this year:
"He has about as much chance of winning a major as a one legged man winning an a** kicking contest."

He is originally funny.

Feherty is great with his one liners on course and, also carries that wit into books he has written. If you get the chance Somewhere in Ireland a Village is missing an Idiot and A nasty bit of rough are both very good reading.

LMAO

I always flip to the back of Golf Magazine first to read his column, he is hilarious!

His descriptive powers always amuse me:

Jim Furyk: 'A swing like an octopus falling out of a tree...'

Eamonn Darcy: 'A swing like man in a telephone box trying to kill a snake with a hatchet...'

And when asked about his own action, he once memorably replied: 'I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler...'

Classic.

Tiger hit a tee shot a couple of years ago so far right Feherty commented:

"That one's so far right Michael Moore could do a documentary about it."

I like the one when he referred to CHIII as "A Sniper's Nightmare"...

He's had so many good one's...it's hard to remember them all.

LOL. Never heard that one before.

Would be nice to see a publication with all of his highlights. Very funny stuff.

LOL, the thing that people forget is that DF was a hell of a player, and had a really nice looking swing as well. I bet there are a lot of people out there that don't realize he played on Ryder Cup teams.

I was setting on my luggage by the public restrooms at the Louisville airport waiting for my wife when I hear this guy with an Irish lilt talking on his cell phone just raking someone over the coals. I start chuckling and I look up and see DF, talking to his agent, or someone of that nature, and he is cracking more one-liners than he does on the air. I look at him and laugh, he gives me a wink and walks on. I wish I had a recording of the conversation.

That's the difference between a car tyre and 365 condoms. One's a Goodyear and one's a VERY good year.

Agreed...that would be great. I think I might just pick up a couple of his books to read over the winter.

i love the last one haha!!

I will second the recommendation for his book, "somewhere in ireland...". I can't remember how many times I would get funny looks because I'd start laughing out loud reading it...

The best Feherty quip was the one about the struggling pro who was practicing alot. He said that the pro had hit more balls than Sir Elton John's chin.

Between those two I think I've wet myself laughing.

Now that is Funny

David Feherty is one of the funniest people in the world.