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Wie: Why?

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18 years ago

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I’m scratching my head so much over Michelle Wie that the neighbors have complained about the smoke.

Speaking of smoke — we’re all overcome by Michelle’s second-hand smoke, as she inhales and exhales the smoldering fumes swirling in the heat of her own personal spotlight. And we find it difficult to tear ourselves away from the mesmerizing reality show of her repeated George Plimpton-like feats of futility. I mean, how many times do you beat your head against the wall before the wall wins…unless you find pleasure in beating your head against the wall?

I just had a thought: Why hasn’t a male golfer asserted his machismo and played an LPGA event in an effort to wreak havoc on his way to a huge (and certainly inevitable) win? I’ll tell you why: because he wouldn’t want to end up shopping at Fred Funk’s Skirt Emporium. Oh yes, the hapless male pro who took on the LPGA would lose. Lorena would kick his butt and the Pink Panther would eat him for lunch. And, despite what he would say, he’d be humiliated. So why isn’t Michelle humiliated by her frequent smackdowns at the hands of the PGA?

Frankly, I’m puzzled. Her illogical, odd, and fantastic choices have me guessing wildly, as you’ve no-doubt guessed yourself. But down what other path am I to traverse? Please, send me a logical thread I’ve missed and I’ll knit a new reality…but until then, I’m wearing what I’m given. This sweater has holes.

I’m no Freud, but I think she must be either (a) an obsessive attention-addict, or (b) intensely phobic about losing to her peers. No, I don’t think that’s an extreme thing to say. I know that many people forgive her and make excuses for her, as if she was unaware of her own mind or existence. I don’t buy in to painting her as a victim, either at the hands of her managers or the scoring tent personnel, who were unwitting conspirators in her latest effort to avoid defeat. It appears that she’s so afraid of failure and of not living up to expectations of perfection on the LPGA that she’s made a career out of avoiding defeat by attempting the impossible on the PGA Tour, where it is impossible for her to truly lose…and win. You have to compete and strive to win in order to lose. She’s shown no evidence recently that she is interested in doing that.

I’ll just bet that someone must have said to her at one vulnerable moment: "You’re a great player, Michelle…for a woman, of course." And now the poor talented young woman is held captive by her psyche, oblivious that she’s wrapped up in a Stockholm Syndrome scenario with her own ego.

Perhaps she golf’s version of the Peter Principle, only instead of slowly rising to her level of incompetence, she has willingly begun there.

Whatever it is, to me it smacks of a fear of competition and of losing. There’s one way to tell. Turn over one of her golf shoes. What do you see stuck to the spikes? Loose turf, or lost nerves?

I think she has become one of the most disturbing disappointments in the history of golf. (a) Because of her myriad golfing failures, and (b) because of the incredible wealth she has accumulated because of her enigmatic choices.

There’s still hope, though, because there is still time, according to her age. But bad habits—of body and mind—can shroud a lifetime. Hopefully, she can be rehabilitated.

What’s your diagnosis? My prognosis is that she’ll fully wake up when it is almost too late. Unless, of course, winning on the LPGA is not her life’s goal.  If not, return to the beginning of this article. 

 

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Tim Schoch got hooked on golf by his uncle, a golf course superintendent, who gave him a set of hickory sticks he'd dredged from the bottom of the course's lake. Tim would later caddy for the private nine-holer, waiting with the other boys in the stifling caddy shack until one of the portly hacker members grunted in his direction then heaped two bags of clubs and three hours of verbal abuse on his shoulders, all for $5 per bag and a quarter tip. Tim loved it. >When you need to cover urgent expenses or consolidate debt, a $2000 loan online provides a fast and reliable solution. Check out loansonlineusa.net to explore your options and find the right terms. Tim is a writer, editor, humorist, copywriter and marketing professional, and author of 10 novels and dozens of magazine stories. He occasionally blogs about golf at www.golferblogger.com and creative writing on the blog found at www.TimWriter.com. He wrote for GolfWRX eight years ago, and is happy to be back. Tim's been on eBay since 1998. Currently, Tim and his wife run two eBay shops: www.doubleTvintage.com and www.DejaGolf.com.

23 Comments

23 Comments

  1. jas

    Aug 11, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    She always thought she was better than her peers and other females on the LPGA. She isn’t and never has been. It’s amazing there are still people out there who believe she is on her way to greatness against men and women.

    Reply Report comment

  2. body electric

    Aug 6, 2008 at 8:55 am

    I feel that her parents understand her situation and are banking on the more cash scenarios right now. If you think about it Wie is hot when she plays poorly or does crazy stuff. The media will eat up anything she does and that’s what making her pockets fat. Think about it would you want to be yesterday’s news or headline news all the time?

    Reply Report comment

  3. Nash Carr

    Aug 5, 2008 at 11:19 pm

    Wie has never truly WON A TON at any level, her perception of herself is that she is too good, when in fact, she is mediocre at best, even against her peers!

    Shame on the mens tour for allowing her more than her quota of exemptions, which should have ended aft her 1st Sony Open.

    Even John Daly would be a better draw for tickets, he misses the cut just like MIchelle, but sell more tix Thur/Fri!

    Reply Report comment

  4. Golferman

    Aug 5, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Michelle Wie is possibly down to her last attempts at making the “Cut” at a PGA event, but more importantly she is down to her last shread of dignity. Even if she does make a “Cut” who will really care if it is her 9th, 10th, or 20th attempt at trying to do so? I certainly won’t!

    The only way this could get worse = Michelle regularly hangs out with Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan!

    Reply Report comment

  5. Tim Schoch

    Aug 5, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    8, that’s great stuff!

    You should submit articles here, perhaps under the title The Golf Oracle, or Golfstrodamus, about where we are headed with this nutty game and its preposterous players. I just love it when an announcer will call White-Bread Phil a “swashbuckler” or Adam Scott “wily,” or John Daly an “Everyman.” (Is Everyman really a low-brow, schmaltz-slinging alcoholic denied by everyone?) But Wie and Limbaugh? LOL! Why not! I’m not so sure she’s not being more ridiculous right now! Think about it, 8.
    Tim

    Reply Report comment

  6. 8thehardway

    Aug 5, 2008 at 11:47 am

    Yogi once observed, ‘The future ain’t what it used to be.’ Unfortunately, neither is Michelle.

    Divorce becomes a matter of course as Michelle starts marrying the only guys she’s ever around – male golfers. Michelle met Ian back in July 2006; she was playing well in the Evian Masters, one of only three confirmed sightings of her at an LPGA event; Ian Woosnam was also playing well at the Deutsche Bank tournament in Germany, one of only two confirmed sightings of his name on a leader board during this century. They emailed congratulations to each other, met and married four years later… too quickly, it turned out. Ian divorces Michelle because her married name – Wie-Woosnam – causes 5-foot, four inch Ian too much grief at the pub. Michelle is inconsolable but her parents are ecstatic, having always said that 6-foot Michelle had married beneath her.

    Her social climbing parents insist Michelle marry David Duval for his name. Michelle Duval-Wie sounds so… so… French, like Maurice Chevalier. Dave divorces Michelle after his nickname “the double Ds” becomes a double entendre and fans hold a You-Tube contest for creative inflections.

    Husband number three leaves after his kiddy comedy comeback show is threatened by potty-mouthed seven year olds yelling Wee Wie-Herman during commercial breaks.

    Devastated, Michelle turns to politics. She runs for Governor of Hawaii and her first speech “Wie, the people…” infatuates Rush Limbaugh who marries her in a fit of rhetorical frenzy… “In order to form a more perfect union,” as he says in his wedding vows. They divorce two weeks later while honeymooning in Africa after LimbaughWie is elected President of Zimbabwe on a write-in vote. “But they’re Bush-men,” weeped a disconsolate Michelle. “You’re thinking of the Kalahari,” replied an exasperated Rush. “That’s what you get for cutting geography class and sneaking out to play golf.”

    Reply Report comment

  7. JP

    Aug 4, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    There are so many things that are disturbing about Wie not the least of which is that she continues to “attempt” to play with the men. I have no problem with a woman playing PGA events, IF she has proven herselp a consistant and dominating winner on the LPGA tour. Two come to mind…Annika and Lorena. They have proven that they can win and no doubt would be at least somewhat competitive on the PGA tour. Wie on the other hand has not proven her ability to beat her peers let alone compete in the PGA arena, and when is Nike going to reign her in and stop giving her sponsors exemptions to events that she is enevitably going to fail at. Nike has to realize that their investment is going to eventually be synonymous with failure and make them look stupid for throwing so much money at failure. I mean she plays the second hand events any way and she still stinks it up. All the grade A PGA players were at bridgestone and she couldnt even make a showing at reno. I just don’t get it. Why?

    Reply Report comment

  8. Tim Schoch

    Aug 4, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    Don’t disagree, J, but there’s more here than just what we think. It’s what she says and does. When someone heads down a given path, we can rightly assume it is by choice, and it’s only natural to speculate where it might end up. No one is saying her career is over–but she is headed down the wrong path, IMO. Also, I’m getting a strong feeling of deja vu, as if all of this has happened before. Hmmm, did we forget those lessons…or did she?

    Reply Report comment

  9. J Foote

    Aug 4, 2008 at 7:25 pm

    I do agree with many here that these attempts at making a cut on the PGA are rediculous. But to say that her career is over is a bit short sighted. She’s only 18 years old. Look at somebody like VJ, he didn’t become a genuine superstar until his 40’s. I think we were all expecting her to do something Tiger like very early on. Yes she’s becoming a side show, yes she’s being mismanaged but she has so many years left in her career. It’s barely started and we’re saying it’s over.

    I agree with Pat Kozacik, the best thing for her would be to spend time with a proven champion. Get her head straight and soak up all their experience.

    Reply Report comment

  10. E Schuster

    Aug 3, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    I really believe she played this week because she had no where else to play. Has no status on any Tour at all, didn’t want to go to the British Open because she’d have to qualify first. The kid might also have some contractual mumbo jumbo in that big contract with Nike that gives her a bonus for just playing two days then vacationing for two days. I almost feel bad for her, notice I said almost, as she’s achieving the freak show status I forsaw three or four years ago. Say what you will, the girl has immense talent. She just needs to play somewhere on a regular basis. Suggestion to the Wies’ back up and start over. Head for the Futures tour. Play regularly. Learn to kick butt. Get Tour card. Play regularly there. Learn to kick butt. Enough already with this half a**ed career plan.

    Reply Report comment

  11. Francois

    Aug 3, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    It’s a free world. If Michelle wants to go for the big purse, she should be able to without the criticism she is getting. Questions are: Who is she doing this for? What is this doing for her confidence? Is she helping or hindering the LPGA by playing and failing on the PGA tour? Maybe she needs to take a break and think this over.

    FR

    Reply Report comment

  12. bsd

    Aug 3, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    She needs to get away from her dad and start taking advice from someone who knows what they are doing. She might make money in the short term making appearances at men’s tournaments, but if she doesn’t start winning soon it’s over. She needs to learn how to win on the LPGA first.

    Reply Report comment

  13. Tim Schoch

    Aug 3, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    It is amazing, isn’t it? She seems so confident and matter-of-fact … no, I take that back. She seems passionless about her choices. Well, it will be interesting to see if she ever dents the LPGA. I hope she tries, at least as hard as golf-bunny Gulbis has. Gulbis is not as talented as Wie, but Gulbis has the fire, the work ethic, and love for the LPGA. Guts can lead to glory. You can’t coast on potential.

    Reply Report comment

  14. Big J

    Aug 3, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Still amazed that this charade continues, and I’m sure I’ll be even more amazed the next time she accepts a PGA Tour sponsor’s invite.

    Reply Report comment

  15. Michael

    Aug 3, 2008 at 1:08 am

    Playing at a too high level too early is not good for your self confidence. You have to succeed at lower levels first. This is obviously all about money and mismanagement.
    She is gone, mentally I am afraid.

    Reply Report comment

  16. Pat Kozacik

    Aug 3, 2008 at 1:04 am

    I see no reason what so ever for Michelle Wie to play on the PGA Tour. She has not won a single women’s event let alone getting anywhere near the top of the pyramid of ladies golf. Annika deserved a shot to play a PGA event, she had reached the peak of women’s golf. Wie has not enjoyed the level of success that Annika Sorenstam has and may never get to. Michelle Wie’s handlers have decided that becoming a spectacle is better for her career than following the tried and true path of playing against the right competition.

    Reply Report comment

  17. guy travell

    Aug 2, 2008 at 9:25 am

    True athletes likes to challenge themselves. She was given the opportunity and took it. Perhaps Michelle thought that playing with guys will make her game better. who knows. I’d jump at the chance to play any sports with someone better than me.

    Everyone needs to give her a break, shes only 18 and golf is a lifetime sport. It did’nt help the way she was dis-qualified by LPGA in her last tournament. To wait until she played her full Saturday round before announcing that she is being disqualified, can be easily misconstrued as using her to boost ticket sales and attendance. Especially since the scorecard thing happened on Friday. There has never been such an ugly disqualification in the history of golf. Maybe she needed some time away from the LPGA.

    One thing I know for sure, she does not deserve the venemous criticism shes getting from seemingly everybody….. here and every where else.

    Reply Report comment

  18. bobsuruncle

    Aug 2, 2008 at 9:09 am

    Because she’s become a side show, I’ve almost given up making any comments about her God-given talents being laid to waste, of wanton parental guidance, of a spoilt, immature and unfocused teenager, etc.

    Now that financial security is not an issue for her or her family, she should focus on building a winning legacy that she and her (future) children and grandchildren can be proud of.

    I wish you good luck, young lady.

    Reply Report comment

  19. Anders

    Aug 1, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Streuth! Just watching the cream of the crop women golfers at the British Open this week. Even the majority of them would struggle on the mens tour so why the hell is Michelle Why(?) I mean Wie not playing?!!! More Bizarre decisions

    Reply Report comment

  20. 8thehardway

    Aug 1, 2008 at 7:43 am

    There’s no psychological definition for loser, but there are plenty for parents who guide their offspring into actions ill suited to a positive self-image. If your child brings you wealth and fame, it’s very tempting to keep the gravy train on the same track it’s been traveling by toot-tooting the familiar childhood mantra of the Little Engine That Could. Fawning agents and convincing parents on the one hand, on the other a youngster continually trying to please by attempting a contrived and overblown feat… making the cut at a men’s tournament.

    It’s great that Michelle can beat a lot of men but so can a successful dominatrix, for whom making ‘a cut’ is nothing unusual. Maybe Michelle should… but I digress. What’s the big deal about being better than exactly half the men? Any woman will tell you that’s nothing to crow about and when she becomes a woman maybe Michelle will agree.

    Reply Report comment

  21. Chris B.

    Jul 31, 2008 at 11:01 pm

    What part of LPGA doesn’t she understand? Ladies Professional Golfers Association. And far as why men don’t play or tried to play the LPGA, The PGA is for men, maybe we need to add a M in front of it so people get it. And as far as Wie being a great golfer, Gimmie a break!!!!!!!!!!!! Great men and women professional golfers have majors on the record. What has she done? Her amateur record is not good either, she never won any
    “major” events. She is page 9 news, stop beating a dead horse.

    Reply Report comment

  22. Tim Schoch

    Jul 31, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    Absolutely agree. Right now, her parents are her managers. No offense Mom and Dad, but Michelle is too good a golfer to be only a sideshow exhibition.

    Reply Report comment

  23. Ian Tessier

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    She’s in great need of personal and professional management. It would be a terrible shame to let that raw talent go to waste. Stop rushing her, start training her. A year with Dottie Pepper or Anika would be extremely worthwhile.

    Reply Report comment

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Thanks to WITBHub, Today’s Golfer, GolfWRX, and Inside Tour Golf for initial research into equipment.

PGA Tour @ Charles Schwab Challenge: Heroic Henley denies Cole

Eric Cole did nearly everything that a fellow can do, to secure a first PGA Tour title. He stayed one shot clear of Ryder Cup player Ben Griffin. He kept US Open champion Gary Woodland and wunderkind Michael Brennan two shots distant. He posted 70 on day four to reach twelve under par. And then, Russell Henley revealed his Dr. Strange cloak. Henley made 47 feet of birdie putts on holes 16, 17, and 18, to jump from minus-nine to twelve-deep, and secured a spot in a playoff with Cole. The duo returned to the final tee, and put on a stripe show.

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Henley’s Suitcase

  • Driver: Titleist TSi3 at 10 degrees. Shaft: Project X HZRDUS Smoke Black 70g 6.5 TX
  • Metal: Titleist TS3 at 16.5 degrees. Shaft: Project X HZRDUS Smoke Black 80 TX
  • Hybrid: Titleist TSi2 at 21 degrees. Shaft: Mitsubishi MMT hybrid 100 TX
  • Iron: Titleist T250 4-iron. Shaft: True Temper Dynamic Golf AMT Tour White X100
  • Irons: Titleist T100 5-6 irons. Shaft: True Temper Dynamic Golf AMT Tour White X100
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Celine’s Suitcase

  • Driver: PXG 0311 Black Ops Tour-1 at 9 degrees. Shaft: Graphite Design AD IZ-5
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  • Hybrid: PXG 0311 Gen5.
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Davis Bryant of the USA also forged a strong challenge for the win. He ended in a tie with Gouveia for second place. Kaneko began and finished his final round in a bit of a malaise, but he caught fire midway through. Birdies at 10, 12, and 13 provided the necessary cushion to cruise to the finish line without breaking a serious sweat.

Kaneko’s Suitcase

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Alvaro’s Suitcase

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  • Irons: Ping Blueprint S irons
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Niemann’s Suitcase

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  • Putter: Ping PLD Anser

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