Breaking news Thursday included a story about John Henry Isenhour III (aka Tripp) being charged with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird, misdemeanors that carry a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines.

Naturally, since I was at work where I can be inquisitive, I read the story.  For those of you who have not heard about this I shall summarize: Mr. Isenhour III was participating in filming "Shoot Like A Pro" (I couldn’t make this up, I’m not clever enough to come up with something so dripping with irony) when the victim, Mr.Red Shouldered Hawk began making noise necessitating another take.  Apparently Mr. Hawk had taken a position in a tree bordering the fairway some three hundred yards away.  Yes hawks are loud, especially when there is "quiet on the set" stuff going on to eliminate background noise.  Mr John Henry grabbed his hammer, er club, leaped into his trusty golf cart and drove closer to Mr. Hawk.  After unsuccessfully  whacking a number of balls in the direction of Mr. Hawk in an effort to drive him away ol Mr. John Henry returned to the business at hand, filming "Shoot Like A Pro".

At this point Mr. Hawk, his true intentions unknown but I would hazzard a guess he was thinking "this bozo couldn’t hit the broad side of barn, let’s see if I can really get him angry", moves to within 75 yards of the film crew and once again begin’s heckling Mr. John Henry.  Bad idea.  Mr. John Henry allegedly said, “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.  “About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” according to one witness.  I wonder if he never got a BB gun as a child, same kind of reaction when you head for the back yard and start shooting at sparrows.  A blood lust kind of thing.  A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.  Big Bad John! 

Now here’s where this gets really strange.  “Because of the high profile nature of this case, the PGA needs to take steps to address its interest and to make it clear that they don’t condone animal cruelty,” said Dale Bartlett, the deputy manager for animal cruelty issues for the Humane Society of the United States.  The Humane Society believes the PGA needs to put together something that says animal cruelty is bad?  Slow day at the office Mr Bartlett?  Why?  If the PGA tour doesn’t come out and say animal cruelty is bad the assumption will be that animal cruelty is a good thing?  Wait though, this gets even better:  Bartlett said Isenhour’s case, like the Michael Vick dog fighting case, is disappointing for society.  This compare’s to Michael Vick and his school for vicious people who like to torture dogs?  Talk about pole vaulting over mouse turds.  Somebody wound Mr. Bartlett just a tad too tight. 

At least one person from the Humane Society responded reasonably, “Americans have no tolerance for cruelty to animals. Such a petty, mean-spirited act against a wild bird is inexcusable and prosecutors are right to hold Isenhour accountable to the law,” Humane Society executive vice president Michael Markarian said in a statement released Thursday.  That sums up nicely the actions of Mr. John Henry who has, of course apologized publicly and asked that his family’s privacy be respected.  Good luck with that one sir.  You haven’t heard from PETA yet but I’ll lay odds you will. My suggestion would be to get yourself and family some very large, very capable body guards.  The PETA folks have no compunction with throwing acid in people’s face and causing other bodily harm. 

Bone headed actions, something everyone I know has done more than once, always have unpleasant consequences.  May Mr. Red Shouldered Hawk rest in peace.